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starting new daycare and running into problems


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#1 Twins926

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 10:29 AM


My kids will be two in a couple of weeks and we will be starting in-home day care in about 3 weeks. My mother has taken care of them for the past two year since I had to go back to work. She no longer will be able to take care of them.
I took my mom to meet the new lady that will be taking care of the kids last night and it did not go well. Once we had left I asked for her opinion (mistake).

She just pointed out a lot of things she did not like from the house not being big enough for the kids to run around (which is not a conern with me)to the kids having to sleep in one of the sitter's kids room to the fact that the sitter has two dogs. The dogs have been a concern of mine but I want to give it a chance to see how things go.

My mom is concerned that the dogs may hurt the kids. It does not help that recently a 4 year old was killed by a boxer around this area and she won't let that go and also she was attacked as a kid by a dog so I can understand her concern but now she just won't let the issue go.

My question is... how concern should I be? I have met the dogs, they seem friendly enough. This lady takes care of kids that are younger/older than mine so the dogs have been round others kids. Any opinions would be very helpful. Thank you.
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#2 MrsWright

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 11:35 AM

If the dogs bother you or the kids can you ask her to keep them in a separate room while your kids are there? The house being big enough would not bother me as we all know kids can spin in circles in a 1ft radius and have fun;) Also as for the bed...not sure if that would bother me or not...I'm kind of weird about people sleeping on my sheets so I guess I would feel the same about my kids. Can you take a sleeping bag for them if they will stay in it and put the bag on the bed?
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#3 Twins926

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 12:46 PM

Actually the kids would be sleeping in pack N plays but would be sleeping in the sitter's kids room. The issue being that they would not have a separate room for them to sleep in. I would bring bedding for them from home. I don't think many care providers have a specific area designated for sleeping or I could be wrong about that. Is it OK for me to ask that the dogs be kept in a separate room while the kids are there? If I had another choice I would take them some where else but so far this is the only thing about this situation that worries me.
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#4 crazytwinmomma

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 01:48 PM

Honestly, it depends on the type of dog, age of dog and how they are trained. You said the sitter has kids so I am assuming the dogs are raised with children. Most dog attacks happen when it is a dog that is not used to kids or a kid who bothers the dog when they shouldn't (such as when they are eating). I don't think any dog can be kept in a separate room all day because they have to be let outside, etc. The question to ask the sitter is how the dogs are monitored and if they are ever alone with children. I have 2 big dogs (labs) but they are very gentle and non-aggressive. Baby gates keep them away from the playroom and the bedrooms and they are only around the twins when we are in the room with them.

I think that your mother would not like any other sitter because it is not her (which is expected). She thinks that no one is good enough for her grandbabies! She is also projecting her fear of dogs. I say give it a chance and use it as a teaching tool to teach your kids dog safety so they don't get themselves in a situation where they will get hurt later on when they are not with an adult 100%
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#5 Twin nanny

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 02:03 PM

Honestly, it depends on the type of dog, age of dog and how they are trained. You said the sitter has kids so I am assuming the dogs are raised with children. Most dog attacks happen when it is a dog that is not used to kids or a kid who bothers the dog when they shouldn't (such as when they are eating). I don't think any dog can be kept in a separate room all day because they have to be let outside, etc. The question to ask the sitter is how the dogs are monitored and if they are ever alone with children. I have 2 big dogs (labs) but they are very gentle and non-aggressive. Baby gates keep them away from the playroom and the bedrooms and they are only around the twins when we are in the room with them.

I think that your mother would not like any other sitter because it is not her (which is expected). She thinks that no one is good enough for her grandbabies! She is also projecting her fear of dogs. I say give it a chance and use it as a teaching tool to teach your kids dog safety so they don't get themselves in a situation where they will get hurt later on when they are not with an adult 100%

ITA with this post. The dogs would not be a concern for me as long as they are managed properly. Plenty of people have pet dogs and children with no trouble at all and animals can be a great experience for children.

I don't think there's anything wrong with their pack n plays being put in the sitter's kid's room and you don't seem worried about the space, so that's no problem. Unless you are really really unhappy about the dogs I would give this daycare a try. I don't think you can ask for the dogs to be shut up, but I would ask about them being left alone together and whether both the dogs and children have an area of their own that the other can't get to (ie a place that's no dogs and a place that's no kids).

Good luck!
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#6 K&T's MOM

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 03:13 PM

We just moved our kids from a home daycare environment - because she retired, not because we were unhappy. It was a small place but plenty of room for the kids to play since kids of this age don't really romp around the house that much anyway. Do they have an outdoor play area? With the outdoor playground, and the small playroom my kids had plenty of room and they were there with about 8 other children. They slept in pack-n-plays in one of her bedrooms and it was just fine. Of course, they started climbing out of the pack -n- plays and were moved to sleeping bags but still in the bedroom with other kids also napping in there and it worked out fine. A place where they could get outside and play safely would be a sticking point for me, though, just because they do need an opportunity to exert some energy and explore just a little.

It sounds like the dogs are completely used to kids and shouldn't be an issue at all. We have a dog and my kids love her, and in fact her name was one of their first words. I think it can be really good for children to be around pets. I would just make sure to mention that you are uncomfortable with her leaving the dogs with the children unsupervised (which should never happen and probably wouldn't in this scenario) and then just see how it goes. If it becomes an issue then you can address it, but I would bet that the dogs are used to the chaos of children and probably stay away unless they enjoy playing with kids and then it is a win/win for everyone!
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#7 MarchI

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 07:19 PM

I loved my home daycare. Each of the kids slept in one of the bedrooms, including her son's room. It was better than them all in a common room. My older son napped great there. As for the dogs, if you are uncomfortable, you can ask her to gate them away from the children.
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#8 desolation_anonymous

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 12:42 PM

Don't be concerned about what you're not concerned about. that grandma is I personally don't see sleeping arrangements as an issue. They'll be asleep, right? As far as the dogs…

If they are dogs known to be able to cause a lot of damage (pit bull, Doberman) I would say no regardless of how nice the dogs are or how used they are to kids. These dogs, if provoked or 'snap' can cause too much damage too quickly. I had an old co-worker who grew up with a pit bull…. No problems until she was about 6-7, she often slept with the dog. Then one night she woke up and felt weird, went to her parents room. Blood was streaming down her face and the dog had bitten a huge gash in her face. She still has pretty bad scars going down the side of her face. She doesn't know what happens- who knows? Maybe she poked the sleeping dog in it's eye or something, or maybe the dog was having a dream. But, regardless of how nice the dog was it still managed to cause a lot of damage. I'd say no if it is a type of dog that is, in general, considered dangerous just based on the type of damage it can do… (strength of jaws, etc.)



However, if the dog is a breed that is not known to be very risky I'd be Ok with it. There is a mini-something dog at my boys' daycare. I was actually concerned the boys would hurt the dog…. But allowed the boys to attend anyway despite my concern the dog would get hurt (due to daycare reassurances she had never been hurt by kids, she knows how to avoid kids who might hurt her, and if anything happened we wouldn't be held responsible). So far they managed to hit her once but she knows how to evade them well.



As far as if you can ask if the dogs can be in another room… of course you can ASK the daycare provider and she can do whatever she wishes about the dogs. I asked at first where the dog at the boys daycare would be because I was concerned they would hurt her. I'd ask now and depending on how you feel about the answer…. go there or not. Don't decide to have them go and then ask at the last minute, though.. no-one would be happy then.



In any case, if you are not comfortable don't go there and keep looking. You don't need reasons as to why or or why not, you need to be comfortable with where your kids are, period. Hopefully some of the answers people posted here will help you decide how you feel about the dogs, and about the daycare in general.

Edited by desolation_anonymous, 01 September 2010 - 12:47 PM.

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#9 leslie w

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 01:49 PM

My sitter has a dog. She generally keeps him away from the kids either crated or in a different room. But honestly, I don't think it would bother me if he was out with the kids if I had seen him and knew that he was good with children, didn't growl or jump or nip at them. I would say interview several in home providers before you make a choice and then make a decision. I wouldn't worry about your mom. She sounds reasonably concerned because she loves the boys. My mom is ridiculously overprotective and semi irrational when it comes to some things. I listen to her, but I'm the one that makes the decisions and sometimes it isn't always what she wants.
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#10 Twins926

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 11:33 AM

Thank you all for your response. I will let you know in couple of weeks how things are going. We have decided to stay with the sitter with the dogs and we will talk to her about our concern about the dogs and make arrangements that will keep everyone happy.
Thank you.
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