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We don't call them "the twins"


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#21 Shohenadel

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 10:19 AM


I don't see any harm in it.... I don't know why it bothers me?? Maybe "bothers" me is too strong a word. I mean I don't obsess about it or anything...just a thought that popped into my head recently when I heard someone refer to them as "the twins." I was just wondering if I was the only one...I guess not! :)

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#22 MarchI

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 10:44 AM

I am guilty of calling them the babies. Or if just one of them, the baby. As in "the baby needs me right now". I refer to them as Henry and Jacob as does daycare.
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#23 cheesehead4girl

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 12:34 PM

we don't call them "the twins" here either. they're either haven & holden or the kids. other people sometimes call them "the twins" but it doesn't bother me. after someone called them "the twins" recently, they came to me and said "we're twins". :) they were kinda excited about it!

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#24 NINI H

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 12:46 PM

We call ours "the twins" or " the "little boys". The older boys are the "big boys". I don't see a problem with it. They know who they are and it doesn't matter to them. The only thing they don't like, is if they are called their twin's name several times in one day. The older boys friends get a kick out of trying to guess who is who. Being a twin is part of their identity, not all, but a part nonetheless. I've never seen the issue on this matter. If it bothered them then I'd curb the usage.
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#25 ECUBitzy

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 01:11 PM

Bex and Tina, that's the part that I can't explain well (because family has used similar objections). My thought is that twinness has the potential to define Alexis or Samantha's identity. If we don't foster individuality and independence they could cross the line from sisters to some sort of codependency.

Am I crazy? It wouldn't be the first time I completely over thought something. ;)
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#26 mama23boys

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 01:14 PM

We call them the "little guys" to separate them out from their big brother if we are referencing something that just applies to them. When talking about all three boys, we call them the boys or the kids. :)
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#27 Leighann

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 01:54 PM

I call my girls "the girls," "my lady bugs," "my sweetie-p's," etc etc, but never the twins. For me, "the twins" are my 38 year old cousins who are STILL referred to as the twins in my family. They each have their own lives and their own families, but my whole family still refer to them that way. Real conversation between my mom and me: Me: Who's coming to the party? Mom: One of the twins and her family. Me: Which one? Mom: I don't know. :wacko: And that is why calling my girls the twins bothers me.

Edited by Leighann, 23 February 2012 - 01:55 PM.

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#28 tinalb

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 02:46 PM

Bex and Tina, that's the part that I can't explain well (because family has used similar objections). My thought is that twinness has the potential to define Alexis or Samantha's identity. If we don't foster individuality and independence they could cross the line from sisters to some sort of codependency.

Am I crazy? It wouldn't be the first time I completely over thought something. ;)


Nope, you are not crazy, or at least if you are crazy, so are a lot of other twin parents I have talked to about similar subjects. I guess if I were in your shoes I might feel the same way, but having b/g twins I know they are not as likely to become codependent as same sex (especially identical) twins, so it has never been an issue in my mind. But maybe I subconsciously do have an issue with it too, because, like I said, I never refer to my two as the twins either!
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#29 Twin nanny

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 03:53 PM

No particular aversion here. When talking to the children themselves I never call the older girls twins because I have the easy option of saying "girls" (as in "girls come and sit at the table") but I do occasionally call Naomi and Luke "twinnies" which is something their dad started. It's mostly used when they're messing about-e.g. if they hug me one on each side we say they're making a ZoŽ sandwich with twinnie bread.
In terms of talking about them to other people, again I would rarely use "the twins" for Alyssa and Bryony because with most people I can just say "the girls". If it was someone I didn't know as well, or if there was a possibility of confusion about Naomi being included, I might say "the older twins" or "the twin girls". I do say "the twins" as an easy grouping term for N and L, although it's almost always when talking to their parents, again because it's something they do that's rubbed off. To other people I would normally just say both names.

Is there really a difference between calling twins "Twins" or "The girls/boys/littles/big kids"? It's all making multiple people into one unit. I don't see how it's really that bad if someone says the twins.

I agree with this. I guess what it comes down to for me is I don't have a problem with using "the twins" where it would feel normal to use another collective noun. I think the problem with it is if they almost never get called anything else or if people start using it to make them one unit where it's not appropriate.
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#30 NicoleLea

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 04:38 PM

I have never called our girls "the twins". Don't really know why...just never have. I always refer to them as "the girls" if I am talking to people about them. Maybe because even though they are identical I have never viewed them as "together". Ever since they were born I saw them as their own separate little people. We never really even dressed them alike. We always wanted them to been seen as their own person.
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#31 BOST

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 08:36 PM

We also NEVER refer to our boys as "twins." One of my best friends also has ID twins and only refers to them as "the twins." Maybe that turned me off a little, I don't know. My Mom always commented on how she didn't like the term "twins," so maybe that factored in, too.
But, really, I don't think there is one particular reason we don't and I'm not particularly averse to the term, it just didn't come naturally to us to call them that.
The term is so foreign to me that when some of my friends ask about the "twins," I have to remind myself that they're talking about my kids.
We call them the "boys" and now with the birth of our third son, they're the "older boys."
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#32 Shohenadel

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 09:24 PM

I call my girls "the girls," "my lady bugs," "my sweetie-p's," etc etc, but never the twins. For me, "the twins" are my 38 year old cousins who are STILL referred to as the twins in my family. They each have their own lives and their own families, but my whole family still refer to them that way. Real conversation between my mom and me: Me: Who's coming to the party? Mom: One of the twins and her family. Me: Which one? Mom: I don't know. :wacko: And that is why calling my girls the twins bothers me.



That is hysterical!!!!! And that is exactly why I think it bothers me too.
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#33 Fran27

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Posted 24 February 2012 - 08:10 AM

I call my girls "the girls," "my lady bugs," "my sweetie-p's," etc etc, but never the twins. For me, "the twins" are my 38 year old cousins who are STILL referred to as the twins in my family. They each have their own lives and their own families, but my whole family still refer to them that way. Real conversation between my mom and me: Me: Who's coming to the party? Mom: One of the twins and her family. Me: Which one? Mom: I don't know. :wacko: And that is why calling my girls the twins bothers me.


Exactly... I hated being called 'the twins' for that reason. We have names, you know!

And no, 'the girls' etc isn't the same at all... there are way more girls or boys than twins out there. I don't mind being reminded that I'm a girl, but being reminded yet again that I have a twin sisters and that I'm part of a set is really old.
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#34 ddancerd1

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Posted 24 February 2012 - 11:19 AM

i don't call mine "the twins". just "the girls" or "my girls". everyone else calls them 'the twins'... i think cuz THEY think it's so cool, and it sounds cool... it does bother me a little bit. it IS cool to have twins, i LOVE it, but i don't want them looked at as one. it's hard enough that my girls are so totally attached to each other they can't be separated (whole other issue), i don't need others encouraging it by referring to them as a unit, a package deal, etc...
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#35 maryjfb

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Posted 24 February 2012 - 02:58 PM

I don't call them "the twins", either. I call them "the girlies", by their names or "our daughters". We used to call them "the babies", but they are almost 4 now and they always say, "we aren't babies!" It just made me feel a little weird, referring to them as "the twins".
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#36 cwinslow7

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Posted 27 February 2012 - 10:20 AM

I call J&Z "the babies" (as does everyone in the house and my bff.) I have 4 boys so calling them would be very amibiguous, "littles" just never rang for me and "twins"? well, it just didn't feel right. Can't say why but it didn't. I don't have an aversion.

On a side note, I avoided the term so completely that J&Z didn't even know they were twins until they went to VPK at 4 years old and Zachary had B/G twins in his class and he learned what it meant. He came home asking about it, he didn't believe he and Joseph could be twins because they were both boys and Brooke and Tyler were boy/girl. lol
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#37 Slipper

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Posted 27 February 2012 - 12:39 PM

I have only ever referred to them as "the boys" even when pregnant
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#38 E's 3

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Posted 28 February 2012 - 06:31 AM

I call my girls either "the babies" or "the girls", never "the twins". No idea why, I just don't like the term. We do talk about the fact tat they are twins, mostly for the benefit of my oldest, and he's starting to understand. The poor kid has ID sisters in his class this year...seems as though he can't escape the "twin" experience either :).
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#39 Chicklet

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 09:06 PM

We don't normally either. I have twin nieces as well so my parents will group them as the "twin girls" and the "twin boys" (I have to older girls and my other brother has 2 older boys so this is how we distinguish them I guess) But I myself call them the boys. I have a friend who has b/g twins and 2 older girls... she refers to them as "the twins" but I think b/c she can't say "the boys" or "the girls" she does also say the younger 2 or the older 2 as well.
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#40 GemelliBoys

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Posted 04 March 2012 - 07:03 AM

I don't call them "the twins" either, but I don't actively dislike calling them "the twins". I do say that they "are" or I "have twins". Since they're our only kids, they're the kids, munchkins, rugrats, or Alice&Royce (one word). Daycare calls them "The twin giraffes" meaning, the set of twins in the giraffe class. Our old daycare called them "the twins", as in "get the twins ready to go home". So I guess when they are referring to them as a unit, they use the term. It really doesn't bug me at all either way.

If I had more children, I might call them "the twins" to differentiate them from the rest, but we'll never know for certain. :lol:


I'm like this.
It neither bugs me or thrills me. It's just like whatever. :)
they ARE twins and I don't see this as a negative like soo many do.?
If someone calls them that, I'm fine and don't see it as derogatory.
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