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managing twin tots during a formal wedding


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#1 ejceac

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 08:06 PM


I HAVE to bring my twins who will be 14 months next month when they have the wedding. My brother in law is getting married and they bought the boys two Adorable suits and the tell me I have to bring them.

I'm not sure they understand how hard it will be though because my husband is the best man, and will be in the wedding (it is his brother getting married). One of the boys is walking, and the other is still crawling (possibly he may walk by then?)...but VERY restless. :babyflips: Their is no way they will be quiet for this!

They will just throw any toys they have on the floor and hit each other with them. I was considering bringing the double stroller but its bulky and they would get fussy in them.

anyone every had to take twins/multiples to a wedding ? I really don't have anyone to help me either.
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#2 idril

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 09:48 PM

Oh man. You're in a lose-lose situation. If you don't bring your adorable twins, your BIL and his wife will be disappointed. But if you do bring them, they'll be mad because your kids will be noisy during their wedding. I've taken my girls to a formal wedding and I can't lie - it was horrible. Probably the most stressful social situation I've ever been in. Having done it, I'd suggest that you bring your boys to the church/wedding location so everyone can admire them before the ceremony. Then quietly slip out as the wedding is starting and find a nice sound proof place to play during the ceremony. Please don't stay and hope for the best. Because your adorable kids will yell, drop things, cry, etc. at all the romantic moments and that's what the bride and groom will remember - your kids, not their special moment. When the ceremony is over, bring them back out to see and be seen during the beginning of the reception. Plan on staying until they get truly antsy and then simply leaving and heading home while your husband enjoys the rest of the party. The double stroller isn't a bad idea for the reception - but you may find that you have tons of people willing to entertain a squirmy baby during the cocktail hour. It's when dinner starts that you're going to have problems, so that's when I'd plan to leave, if you don't have to before.

Good luck!
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#3 rollergiraffe

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 10:42 PM

I totally agree with Tricia. I recently did the same thing at a funeral.. bring the double stroller and take them for a little stroll during the ceremony. Pack a bag full of toys and snacks and hope for the best!
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#4 Happy June

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 02:11 AM

You can do this! We had two formal weddings last summer when my LOs were just two and they did really well.

In one I was matron of honour and up front with the wedding party for the ceremony and they were seated near the front with DH and just watched, we then let them loose to run and play during the reception and gave them a little break to cuddle and calm down (no nap) before dinner and then they sat with us at the head table for the whole dinner. We did bring some picture books and puzzles and small cars for them to play with during the courses.

The other began with a nearly two hour wedding mass with tons of music (the couple sings in a very good big choir). We sat near the back so we could have left but they did really well, watching people, listening to the music, looking at the church and cuddling on our laps. Again we then let them run and move during the reception and they lasted through most of the dinner even without their nap. We just quietly left when their behaviour began to deteriorate.

If you can, bringing the stroller is a good idea. If you babywear, that is also a good strategy for formal situations. So are lots of snacks and quiet toys. GL and enjoy, and just slip away when they get too loud or wild or tired!
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#5 ejceac

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 05:22 AM

thanks for all the great ideas! I think I will talk to the bride and groom and ask if they don't mind if I slip out during the ceremony if they get antsy. I have been invited to bridal and baby showers before an I refused to take them because somehow it always turns to the baby (naturally! lol) but I certainly want the person being celebrated to have their moment because that is what its for. I do appreciate all the ideas! Its in a month so I got some time.
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#6 Utopia122

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 09:32 AM

My girls were 18 months when they were flower girls in my brother-in-law's wedding. My husband was best man and my son was the ring bearer, so we had to stay. I brought a baby sitter with me who took them out and played with them during the ceremony after they went down the aisle. I had a double stroller so she could take them for a walk around the park next door, however it was over 100 that day, so she ended up with them in our van playing with them while the air was on for most of the ceremony (it was a small cottege church with only a sanctuary so absolutely no where to go). She also helped me with them during the reception. It worked out really well and made it a little less stressful, however, we still left early just because they were wore out after a few hours.

Edited by Utopia122, 24 April 2012 - 09:34 AM.

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#7 mama_dragon

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 03:43 PM

I was a babysitter for a wedding when I was in college. A former teacher of mine asked if I could go along to a family wedding and reception and help with the kids. They had to be there for pictures etc but once the ceremony started I took them out. I was able to watch them in a sunday school classroom for toddlers. They were both under the age of three. I made a ton of money that night. Several parents found out I was watching the two kids and dropped their kids off as well. I ended up with about 10 kids to watch and each parent slipped me a $20. That was above the hourly money I made. I also attended the reception and helped get the kids fed and kept them entertained. It was a very formal wedding/reception. The reception was in a very nice place but it was easy to take care of the kids there since they did not have to be quiet.

I hate it when people do not take kids out of weddings when they act up. I find it rude. I remember a wedding I attended and a little kid started throwing a tantrum right in the middle of the vows and all the mother did was try to hush him instead of getting up and hauling him out. Ugh. I would have them there before the wedding and afterwards at the reception. But during the wedding I'd step out.
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#8 Minette

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 05:46 PM

Exactly what Tricia said. We took our girls to a wedding (granted it was an informal, outdoor, Colorado-type wedding) when they were 6 months old. That's an easier age, and they made it through most of the ceremony in their bucket seats (I stood at the back with them), but we still had to adjourn to a quiet room during the reception because they were NOT having any of this "sit on laps at the table in a big noisy room and be stared at by lots of people" nonsense. I wound up spending most of the meal playing on the floor with them in the event coordinator's office, but DH gave me a break so I could go eat, and the babies were much happier. Good luck!
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#9 ECTwins

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Posted 24 April 2012 - 08:13 PM

I agree about sitting near the back and being ready to slip out quickly if the twins get antsy/noisy. If its in a church, check to see if there is an infant cry room that you could hang out in during the ceremony. That would be a good way to be there for the ceremony without interrupting it. A little bit different situation, but we took my twins to a funeral at 13 months. We started out in the church, but the second one made a noise, I took the boys out and to a room where they could play. They were fine during the luncheon part since they could interact with people and move around.
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#10 bkpjlp

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Posted 06 May 2012 - 04:31 PM

I agree with the other posts. Is there a crying room at church you could slip into during the ceremony? You could watch the ceremony (ask in advance to have the speakers turned on in there so you can hear things - if you care to) and they can play to their hearts content. If you HAVE to sit with the family, keep feeding them.
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#11 ejceac

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 08:13 PM

I was a babysitter for a wedding when I was in college. A former teacher of mine asked if I could go along to a family wedding and reception and help with the kids. They had to be there for pictures etc but once the ceremony started I took them out. I was able to watch them in a sunday school classroom for toddlers. They were both under the age of three. I made a ton of money that night. Several parents found out I was watching the two kids and dropped their kids off as well. I ended up with about 10 kids to watch and each parent slipped me a $20. That was above the hourly money I made. I also attended the reception and helped get the kids fed and kept them entertained. It was a very formal wedding/reception. The reception was in a very nice place but it was easy to take care of the kids there since they did not have to be quiet.

I hate it when people do not take kids out of weddings when they act up. I find it rude. I remember a wedding I attended and a little kid started throwing a tantrum right in the middle of the vows and all the mother did was try to hush him instead of getting up and hauling him out. Ugh. I would have them there before the wedding and afterwards at the reception. But during the wedding I'd step out.

thats exactly what I did, we hired a friend watch them in the church nursery area and it worked out well. I got to watch the ceremony and the boys got to play. but also be in the wedding,
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