http://www.twinstuff.com/forum/index.php?app=blog Community Blog List Syndication Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:56:02 +0000 twinstuff@twinstuff.com (Twinstuff Forums) IP.Blog 60
i had a horrible pregnancy, totally emotional (i deal with mental issues to begin with that where just exaggerated by the pregnancy hormones), was on meds, hospitalized, got gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and back and forth on hospital bed rest for 2 months. my boys ended up being born at 35 weeks via c-section on july 23rd of this year. the boys were born 30 seconds a part and were just over 4lbs each. they each stayed in PICU to check for reactions to the meds i was on for my mental illness and were released with a clean bill of health after 7 and 10 days...one came home first.

my husband works full time as a fire fighter and part time to supplement the income. i'm a full time stay at home mom who is now suffering from post pardum depression. it's a really rough spot to be in. the boys are perfectly healthy, 13 and 12.9lbs and 24" long for 3 month olds (2 months adjusted) and their developmental status is right on par for 2 month olds.

what i'm finding most difficult is trying to find other moms out there who aren't afraid to talk about their PPD, how bad it is and how they are coping. some days i just look at my kids and wish there where only one. and then i look at moms of singletons and envy that they are able to spend so much time with them and are so happy to do so. with me it's one sleeping, one fussing. they have horrible acid reflux and can't really handle tummy time. they don't respond to toys yet, they are just learning to hold their heads up but they do smile a lot. but somedays i just want to lay them in their cribs and cry all day. i'm on meds for the PPD but they haven't kicked in yet and i just recently joined a baby group that meets once a week for an hour in the afternoon. it's not enough though, socialization i mean.

life is so hard for me right now. i feel like, despite my best efforts, that i'm failing as a parent. that somehow i'm not stimulating them enough because we don't sing songs, we don't talk a lot, we don't play with toys. it's just eat, sleep, fuss, poop, pee and repeat.

i just need that support, i guess, from other mom's who have been in similar situations with their kids and how they got through it. times are tough and i'm in total survival mode. i feel bad that i'm not talking to them enough but i'm not a talker in general so i feel like i am hindering their development. i just don't speak much, i never have. and i hate being a stay at home mom, it's extremely isolating and lonely. i feel quilty when DH comes home and he's been at work for 36 hours and i'm handing him over the kids so that i can get a break from holding them all day and feeding them every 4 hours. i feel like a leach sometimes. like i need time for us too, you know?

ugh! if i could just get this PPD under control i think i could manage better but it's so easy for me to just throw in the towel.]]> Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:36:00 +0000 W, obviously, but even Andrew Jackson if you want to stretch the definition of being a dad of twins a little as he adopted one boy out of a set of twin boys).

There have been other world leaders (Margaret Thatcher, Mary McAleese in Ireland) who have been moms of twins.

And there have been world leaders who've been twins; I'm thinking about Poland President Lech Kaczyński whose identical twin Jarosław was Poland's Prime Minister for a little over a year from July, 2006 to November, 2007.

But will we have a future American President who is a twin? Or maybe even a twin dynasty of American leaders? In May, 2009, the city of San Antonio, Texas elected a rising young political star, Julian Castro, as its mayor. Castro is 34 years old, an Hispanic Democrat, a Stanford graduate, Harvard Law School grad, and has an impressive political resume despite his youth. And all of those descriptions also fit Julian's twin brother, Joaquin, who happens to be a Texas State Congressman. At age 34, he's the youngest mayor of a major American city.

Political columnist Ruben Navarette wrote a column recently predicting who could be the first U.S. Hispanic President and said he'd "put my money on it being someone named Castro from San Antonio" as that way he has two chances to be correct.

The Castro Twins have used their twinship for political purposes in the past. Even to the point of controversy back in 2005 when Joaquin stood in for Julian on a parade float during Julian's first unsuccessful bid for San Antonio mayor. (hey, a lot of us twins have stood in for our brother or sister at one point or another; it's not like he was trading city or state secrets at the time - he was waving to folks on a float for goshsake!)

At age 34, the future of the Castro Twins remains bright. And in case Julian continues his fast track to political stardom and continues the rise up the political ladder that maybe one day even leads to the White House, it's not like Joaquin will necessarily out of the picture. After all we have a world political precedent for a Castro to pass off political leadership to his brother. A Castro President precedent to be sure.


http://www.ksat.com/2005/0421/4402646_320X240.jpg

(photo from ksat web site - 2005)]]> Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:30:00 +0000

Tough Questions Series - What Would The Punishment Be If Abortion Were Illegal? ......
..This
is probably one of the toughest questions to answer as a pro-lifer and I fully expect to receive a lot of hate mail about this commentary. I have had this discussion with many people who have solid pro-life views, yet are confused as to how they feel about the laws and punishment when it comes to abortion. People ask me what happens to the women and doctors if we overturn Roe. vs Wade.
..

My first response is that the end goal of the pro-life movement is over turning Roe vs Wade. We absolutely want that to happen, however, that is only the first step. Overturning Roe will only send the decision back to the individual states for them to pass laws. Most likely any law passed by a state will then be challenged in court and end up right back to the Supreme Court.




The end goal is to establish that life begins at the moment of fertilization. This will only be achieved with a paramount Human Life Amendment to the Constitution. With a Human Life Amendment we can establish the starting point in a human persons life that cannot be challenged by any court. This will give children in the womb the same rights and protections under the Constitution as any other human person.




This is where the dilemma of the question begins. Do you truly believe that a child in the womb is a full human person? Do you believe that the unborn child is equal in value as a three year old child playing on a playground? As a pro-life advocate I do not see how you could answer no to either of those questions.




The core of the pro-life argument is that every single human person from fertilization to natural death should be protected.
If we say that the child in the womb is a human person and that their life is already begun, then how can we say they should not be protected equally?



The problem comes when we look at this from the wrong direction. Whenever I debate someone who is defending abortion the first thing they try and do is steer the argument onto rabbit trails. They will bring up all of the emotional situations and try to only argue from the extreme cases. They do this because they know if they can tug the heart strings of those in the audience they can sway them and distract them from the truth.




The same thing happens when I discuss the issue of punishment for abortion with pro-lifers. They talk about the desperate women who knows it is illegal but can't afford her baby? They ask if she should really be held accountable for just trying to make a hard decision? We have no way of knowing what is going on in her life or what she is going through.




I admit there is an emotional element to this that can blur the issue. I know that no one wants to go throwing thousands of women in prison. It is sincerely a tough question.




Lets change the direction we look at this however. Just like in my debates against pro-abortion advocates, I would steer away from the distractions and focus on the core issue. What is abortion? Abortion is the killing of a human person. Just like stabbing a three old on a playground is killing a human person, stabbing a baby in the womb is also killing a human person.




If we establish a Human Life Amendment to the Constitution declaring that children are full human persons from the moment of fertilization, then we must treat them as such.




When the woman in Texas drowned her five children several years ago, what was your thought on her punishment? Did you believe because she had some rough times at home she should be excused from what she did? The fact is, she killed her five children and had to answer to the law. While we might feel sorry for her emotional state, we must also want justice for the five children who were killed.




In the same way, we must look at the children in the womb as equal in value as the children who were drowned and demand justice for them also. We can certainly feel empathy for what a woman might be going through, however, that cannot change the fact that she has broken the law and ended the life of her child. We know there is forgiveness is Christ, but justice must also be served.




If we make a separate law and separate punishment for someone who has an abortion then we are saying that the child in the womb is somehow not as valuable then any other human person killed. If we say that intentionally killing one child is less of a crime then intentionally killing another child, then our whole argument for life is destroyed.




I know many of you are probably upset right now or even confused or torn about what you think. I understand completely. I have spent 17 years thinking about this question and going over every possible way to look at it. The one constant thing that I always come back to is the fundamental right to life of every human person, and I will not stop fighting until every child is protected.




What do you think?



For Christ I Stand,

Bryan Kemper - bryankemper@standtrue. com
]]> Sat, 20 Sep 2008 02:37:39 +0000
Meaning, we have to understand that voting for either party will mean that we are inviting in the worst of their agenda as well as the best.

The same system of checks and balances which many people trust to protect them from religious persecution has done a far better job of protecting themr (and all of us) from socialism. The democratic system allows the majority to rule, even to allowing fundamental changes to the country which could harm it. So that system of checks and balances still ultimately depends upon the votes of the people. It cannot be changed in one election cycle, or even two. But a concerted strategy to infiltrate every level of government and to undermine those checks and balances to favor a privileged group can and has been working. Prominent members of the religous right have actually bragged about the success of this strategy, and their absolute belief in the "rightness" of their cause. I think it is very dangerous for anyone to underestimate the determination of these people, the intelligence and incredible planning which has gone into their strategy, and the fact that no system is completely failsafe.

The fact is that the vast majority of Americans will not tolerate true socialism in this country, which is a wonderful thing! Having grown up in a country which has teetered far too close to socialism (and even then, not anything like Marxism as it was in the Soviet Union), I know very well what that looks like and there is nothing like that atmosphere in the USA today, though of course people must remain vigilant to guard against it. But guarding against Marxism and recognising that an orderly and unbiased source of carefully limited aid for the poor and the vulnerable in our midst is a responsibility of the people through our elected governing bodies is not "socialism". It is the duty of all civilized people.

On the other hand, the vast majority WILL allow and have even welcomed the tearing down of the separation of church and state, because they have varying degrees of religious belief themselves which makes many mistakenly think that all religious influence is benign. The system of checks and balances is ultimately controlled by the people through democracy; if the majority votes for religious values, even if they intend for them to be moderate values, and we wind up with another administration controlled by the extreme right, then the checks and balances of 3 houses of government will not prevent them from forcing you and me to become fundamentalist Christians or suffer consequences, just as atheist and non-Christian employees of several "faith-based" social service groups were shocked to find themselves fired because they were not Christian (or not the "right kind" of Christian) as soon as the government handed the religious groups taxpayer funds without any oversight to ensure equal job opportunities. Just during one president's term in office, the executive branch expanded its own powers in unprecedented ways, and the people, supporting him and his administration, have not protested in any significant way (though constitutional watchdogs have been sounding the alarm for several years).

The power base of support of the Republican party is shared by big business (especially oil) and the religious right, who wish to see this country become a Bible-based theocracy. It could happen and it is the expressly articulated goal of the religious right to see that it does happen as it has happened in nearly every place in the world at some time or other. We think "it won't happen here" at our own peril; there already have been serious inroads made...suppression of science (stem cell research/creationism taught as "science" in schools--that's just for starters; many scientists know that there have been breakthroughs locked away in drawers because of religious objections to scientific research; anyone remember Copernicus and Galileo?), erosion of, and in some states complete elimination of, access to safe. legal abortions and birth control...suppression of energy research breakthroughs which could revolutionize the energy industry and eliminate our dependence on oil...I could go on and on...

It is true the religious right alone does not represent the majority in this country. But they have managed to bring in the votes of moderate Christians and moderate conservatives, too, by using the fear of war, fear of socialism and fear of more socially-conscious economic policies to pull them in.

What I find most amazing is that it doesn't even seem to matter what the facts are! The Republican propoganda seems to be accepted by too many voters without critical review. GWB has been an extreme social conservative and a fiscal libertine (not a liberal, I hasten to point out, but a libertine). He has spent like a drunken sailor on things the people never wanted him to do and has driven the deficit sky high. I cannot fathom how anyone who considers himself a fiscal conservative cannot find this utterly abhorrent and the prospect of more of the same to be doubly abhorrent.

My point was that voting for Republicans for economic reasons not only makes no sense because GWB and his administration have actually been fiscal libertines, not conservatives, but you also vote into power a continuation of the party which has eroded individual rights and freedoms and is promising to continue to do so.

The selection of the VP is a signal from the McCain campaign that a Republican ticket will continue to rule in favor of the religious right, whose plainly and publicly expressed agenda is to make this country a Christian nation (reducing religious freedom more than already has been done with the imposition of fundamentalist values upon education, social and legal language and abortion rights), to tear down the separation of church and state once and for all and to inculcate a Christian Biblical law as the law of the land.

In addition, we have heard assurances that the Republican candidate can be counted on to appoint ultra-conservative (socially conservative) judges to the Supreme court-the Judicial branch of the government, and the branch of last resort for Americans who hope that the 3-tiered system of checks and balances will protect their rights and freedoms. What then of our protections? We've already seen that an unethical President and Executive branch can expand their own powers seemingly in spite of the constitution and the Congress and Senate. What is to stop them from continuing this pattern, especially with a Judicial branch which has been weighted firmly in favor of extreme, right-wing policies?

The only thing Americans can use to stop them is the vote.

Voting for the Republican party makes no sense right now for anyone who considers herself a fiscal conservative or a social moderate (or both); but it made no sense in 2004 either and as I said, it appears that not enough voters actually do match their votes with their professed ideology.

So, if you lie down with dogs, prepare to get up with fleas.]]> Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:37:45 +0000
It was unnecessary for this woman to be chosen; the religious right would have voted for McCain anyway! That he would do anything to curry favor with them was already apparent. If McCain was doing his own choosing, he ought to have chosen sensibly and picked Romney or Ridge or Pawlenty, who are at least qualified! But clearly McCain has sold not only his soul to the GOP machine, but he's lost his reason, too. The party machine is obviously calling the shots.

Now, we are stuck with a VP candidate who is so unworthy, it makes one wonder if the republican party and the religious right are determined to finish what they started in the 1990's and destroy the United States of America, once and for all. It shocks me to the core when I realize how deeply so many right-wing Americans seem to hate their country. They hate everything that made this country great and they aim to dismantle the constitution, overturn the enlightened founding principles which made this country a beacon of hope for freedom-lovers everywhere. They are working with everything they have to destroy the very essence of America.

I want to see more people expressing some righteous indignation on the public stage regarding the fact that the religious right is campaigning hard to destroy religious freedom in this country. They are also working with everything they have to undermine the constitution, to take away basic human rights to half the population and to force the enshrinement of a state religion. This unpatriotic and unAmerican agenda is something which I cannot believe more people are not decrying from the rooftops!]]> Sat, 30 Aug 2008 16:41:01 +0000
THe Republican campaign machinery is a big reason why this happened, I believe. A candidate has not a prayer unless he can get them on his side, and he cannot get them on his side unless he sells his soul to them, gives up all his ideals and promises to deliver for all the big oil, big corporate, big religious business backers who control everything the GOP does now, and, through them, everything in this country that they can reach through the office of the president and any house that the Republicans control.

I can only hope that finally they have over-reached and pulled their tricks one time too often on a population which is is finally wising up to the fact that they've been used and abused by this Republican machine for far too long.

McCain's GOP handlers have transparently made a bid to appeal to the voters who would have liked to have seen Hillary Clinton go all the way to the White House this year. If it wasn't so incredible, so unbelievable that these ruthless politicos could be so wrong and so blind to what so many people really think and feel, it would almost be chilling.

Perhaps the GOB (oops! GOP...I get that confused all the time...good ol boys...grand ol party-they seem like code for the same thing to me, these days ) in their usual short-sightedness and contempt for women thought that lack of substance, experience and understanding for what Hillary's supporters care about (Gun control! The environment, Sarah!) would not matter to women (or men) who had supported Hillary. Perhaps the Republican party handlers controlling John McCain's campaign, his choices and his sound bites thought the only trait McCain's VP candidate needed to have was to have been born with a uterus. That would figure in a party unevenly controlled by an ultra-conservative minority which seems to regard all women as little more than shells housing a uterus. How they underestimate and disrespect women with this attitude!

Supporters of Hillary Clinton generally were FOR increased gun control, to make our cities and campuses safer for our children. Sarah Palin? Oops, nope--NRA supporter!

Supporters of Hillary Clinton overwhelmingly care about the environment and opposed the drilling in the north Alaskan waters at least until better safeguards could be put in place (a position, incidentally, that McCain himself has held! But is that another of his original strengths which will be thrown out aong with his soul, as he kowtows to the GOP machine?)--Palin is all for drilling right now. As an impetuous and inexperienced person, she has let her excitement over the oil revenues she has managed to skim off the top of oil company profits blind her to the dangers of allowing them to continue drilling int he reckless fashion they propose. Her rashness and dazzlement by an initial appearance of success (which, because it is financially a temporary benefit to Alaskans is hugely popular) has led her to endorse a policy which will pay back big oil for their modest tax burden to the state, and which could very well jeopardize the environment in that region irreversibly.

Supporters of Hillary Clinton, like more than half the country both Democratic and Republican, oppose continuing the travesty which is the Iraq occupation. Palin? She hints that she expects and supports expanding the war by "going after" Iran!

Female supporters of Hillary Clinton do care about the inequities women face in this society (and around the world) and they were thrilled to see a strong, formidably intelligent and capable woman running seriously for the position of President. But they supporter her because of the "stong, formidably intelligent and capable" part, not the "woman" part alone, or even primarily.

Palin is being called a "maverick", perhaps in an effort to rekindle some of the old affection so many of us had for John McCain when he truly was a maverick and before he sold out his ideals, his ethics and his good name to the likes of Karl Rove. What Palin really is, is so inexperienced it is incredible that she has even managed to become governor of the great state of Alaska, let alone mayor of her tiny town. She clearly has the ambition and single-minded devotion to her career which often goes with early and inappropriate positions of power, but she just as clearly does not have the credentials for even where she is now, let alone to the second highest office in the land and a heartbeat away from Commander in Chief.

This is the person that Republicans feel confident in putting in the White House one terrible moment away from the Presidency? In the midst of even greater war and conflict in the war, with our troops spread too thinly in Iraq, Afghanistan and possibly Iran if the Republican hints are correct, do Republicans actually believe that this young, inexperienced woman can lead the free world, and guide our country through what may be the greatest trials it has ever known? GWB has brought us to the brink of disaster, McCain promises to tip us even further over the brink (with Palin's enthusiastic and ignorant support). It pains me as one who loves this country, to see how it has declined morally, economically and politically over the past 8 years, and to think that this is the best that John McCain could come up with to shore up his shaky candidacy just floors me.

John McCain has had an amazing life; an epic life. He has faced trials few of us could have endured and come out stronger. He has worked hard for people as a public servant in his state and in the senate. He has shown that he can cross partisan lines and get things done that needed to be done for this great country and its people. How good it might have been to witness this fine man take the oath of office with his character untarnished by deals and backroom promises with some of the most unscrupulous and dishonest villains in the land. How sad that this man with so much promise, integrity and moral strength, threw it all away to cast his lot with a group which cares nothing for character, integrity or morality.

A sad final chapter in an epic life.]]> Fri, 29 Aug 2008 22:35:57 +0000
I joined a gym on the weekend and today was the first day I brought the boys there. At first Caleb was upset but once he got comfortable, he loved it. There were so many toys for them - it's great! Mason and Connor had no problems at all. I especially like it because I could watch them from a TV that's actually on the cardio equipment so that's fantastic. Actually, I made myself laugh today. I did one of those "mom" things. When I started to work out I flipped on the screen and noticed that Caleb was crying - so I had to go back in and comfort him. The girl was looking at me as if to say "Um...go work out, I can handle this!!" I was really happy with her - I saw her actually sit down with Mason and play with him and try to get the boys interested in stuff too.

It's been a rough afternoon. I *think* Connor's 2 year mollars are coming in. They're bothering him so much I've given him Tylonal and Motrin and he's sleeping still but he'll wake up every now and again crying. It's too late now, but I might try to get him in to see the DR tomorrow. He keeps either sticking his finger to the back of his mouth, covering his cheeks with his hands or covering his ears. I'm a little worried it might be an ear infection, but he doesn't have a fever so I'm not sure

Mason is also cutting another tooth and is grumpy as anything. He didn't nap good at all this afternoon. I went into his room because he was screaming and when I picked him up he tried to go back to sleep but couldn't get comfortable and just wanted to nurse.

I hate when the days are stressful with sick kids. I ate a big piece of Caramal Apple coffee cake to make myself feel better. Ok...I lie, I just ate the topping off it And some brownie...

I need to get back on weight watchers, although I'm wondering if I'm just not a "diet" person. Maybe I'll take a break since I wake up everyday saying that *today* will be the day and it never is. I'll just watch portion sizes again. I mean, I LOVE WW core and have learned so much but at the same time it takes so much planning and prep work and I just don't have the time or patience for that right now.

We'll see... I'd like to lose 4-5 lbs this month, that would put me 1 year post partum with Mason and back to my pre kiddo weight. It would also mean that I've lost 55lbs since having Mason - BUT since 20lbs of that came off easily it would mean that I worked REALLY REALLY hard at losing 35lb. I'd say that's pretty darn good!]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 19:41:59 +0000 I hate my job....and I think they don't like me much either.

I'm failing my classes.

I can't manage to keep the house clean.

I feel lonely and invisible sometimes. Especially when the kids are at his house and I have so much to do but I don't get any of it done. I sit at home playing on my computer and have people to talk to but they are all busy and I think they are getting sick of talking to me.

I think the people here are even getting sick of me.]]> Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:57:37 +0000

Mason is being super clingy. He either wants me to walk around and carry him or sit with him but if we sit he has to take a sip of milk every 10 seconds

C&C were into everything. I cleaned up perfectly when they were all napping but after they woke up they tore the house apart. I couldn't do much about it since I was holding Mason all day Seriously, what's the point of cleaning ever??? I folded the clothes on the coffee table and was in the process of putting it away pile by pile when Connor decided while I was upstairs for literally 2 minutes to throw the clothes everywhere. Now I have a giant basket of clothes that I already spent time folding, that has to be folded again. Again, what's the point? I should just shove it all in their drawers as it comes out of the dryer. No need for folding because it's just going to get thrown around anyways.

Somehow they found a McDonalds BBQ sauce packet and stepped on it, spewing BBQ sauce all over Caleb and the floor. Then they grabbed a can of coke (my fault) that was on the end table and only had a mouthfull left in it and spilled it on the couch. THEN I made them a smoothie and was holding it for them while they drank. I put it in between them for 2 seconds to grab Mason and what did they do? They knocked it over.

Both C&C have been ripping their diapers off all day but run and scream at the mention of the potty.

I am seriously pulling my hair out. I went out to Walmart for an hour of retail therapy and it did nothing for me. I'm frustrated and angry and need a break ]]> Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:09:23 +0000 From about 7pm to 7:30am. I'm so happy!!

Lately I haven't been my usual tired, frustrated, just need a bit of extra sleep, do what I need to do to get through the day kind of mom. I'm actually enjoying my kids and everything we are doing. Maybe it's because Mason is getting older, maybe because I've come to the realization that I'm going to be getting some sleep finally or maybe it's because my kids have been so stinkin' cute lately but I am so head over heals in love with my boys.

Last night as I was tucking Caleb in, he said "thank you" and same thing this morning when I gave him his toast "thank you". It just makes my heart melt to see he's listening to me and becoming so polite! Connor has been coming up and he'll sit on my lap if I'm reading, turn my head towards him and say "all done" then kiss me on the lips and just want to snuggle on my lap. These moments are SO worth all the sleep deprivation and the messy house and every struggle that comes with having kids. I just love it!!!]]> Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:16:03 +0000