[leslieJC]

Hi Everyone,
For those of you who might not be aware, in the Jewish religion we are "not allowed" to bring ANYTHING into the house for the babies until after they are born. This is a long time tradition with a couple of reasons attached to it. Part of this "rule" prevents Jewish people from having showers, we just don't; people send gifts after they're born. My question for those of you who are also Jewish and following the tradition is how the heck are you planning and getting organized for the arrival of your babies?
I feel like there is so much to do and I cannot do any of it. We are being given two used cribs from two different friends and I cannot even bring them into the house to see if they both fit in the room, where they will go and where I can place a dresser and a changing table. We will register for stuff, but I'm not even sure what I need. Friends are giving us things they are no longer using but it is all going in my parents attic so I don't even know what else I need, what we can actually use from the donations and what we can't.
And then what happens, the kids are born and my sister or whoever comes into the house, sets everything up and then I come home and move it all to where I want it? I can't tell her where I want things because until I get in there I have no idea.
This is so frustrating, I am contsantly reading on the boards about people shopping for the babies, getting their rooms ready, talking about their showers and I feel like I am sitting around not doing anything when there is so much to do.
How did you deal? I feel so in the dark. My husband and I also made the decision not to find out the sexes of the babies so that too is making me feel like I don't know what I need. I don't want to register for everything in yellow and green and I can't fathom that we will have time to go shopping or returning for a very long while after they're born.
Oy, your advice is much appreciated.
Thank you,
Leslie

[Sarah©]

I have friends who are Jewish and they rented a storage unit. They kept everything there and when she went to the hospital, the parents and inlaws went and moved the stuff in for them. They did paint the room and get the curtains up and stuff like that.

Congrats on your pregnancy!

[gina_leigh]

Can you get the measurements of the cribs? Maybe that way you can measure things in the room and get a general idea of where things will fit. As for what you have and what you need, is there any way someone can make a list of what you've been given and then you can compare that to a list (there's a good 'need' list on this site!) of baby needs and go from there.

I can imagine it would be frustrating though! Just remember to not to stress too much about it. There will be time after they are born to get things done. And if you don't like how others set things up, you can just get them to re-do it with you there!

Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!

[Jberman]

I am Jewish as well!! I know about no preparing the room before hand. First off Shana Tovah!! Second if you have a garage how about putting the stuff in there or like a PP stated a storage unit.

[rayelynn]

Take measurements and sketch it out on paper. That way you will at least feel like you are doing something and have some control over the situation. Also, if you find you are short on space.....leave out a changing table. I never used it. I always just changed them on a bed or on their cribs. For the first few months you will probably want to keep them in a crib in your room anyway, so you will still have time to set the nursery up yourself.

This post has been edited by rayelynn: 15 September 2007 - 09:58 PM

[leslieJC]

Hi Everyone,
Thanks for the responses so far. The problem is not where to store the stuff till I bring it in (my parents attic and garage), the problem is how do I do NOTHING? How did you sit back and not set up the room, how did you not prepare and be ok with it, how did you plan when you really aren't "allowed" to plan too much.
Thanks again.
Leslie

[AliPaige717]

I kept everything at my parents house. The girls room was painted while I was in the hospital. They came home and slept in the bassenet of the pack and play in my livingroom. DH and I set this up for them after I came home from the hospital. They stayed in the NICU for 2 mor days after I got home. My mom washed all the baby clothes I got as gifts before they were born and also picked up preemie clothes for the girls too. she brought the clothes, pack and play, bottles, diapers and everything else we would need to the house while I was in the hospital. Not having this stuff all ready didn't seem to bother me but I also packed for the hospital the morning my water broke.

[Grammy2TwinBoys+1]

My DD's fiance's father builds furniture and was in the middle of making both cribs when DD delivered her boys, so she didn't have a stick of furniture in her nursery when she brought the boys home. She kept the babies in a PNP in her bedroom and changed them in her room as well so that wasn't a big deal. When we went to buy a changing table/dresser/etc., she asked her DF's father for the total outside dimensions of the cribs and we used masking tape on the carpet to mark off where the cribs would be. It really helped in deciding the layout of the nursery and how much other furniture she could fit in there. It also allowed her to finish decorating (hanging pictures, etc.) before the cribs were delivered. It worked great.

Maybe you and DH could do that ahead of time so that family/friends who help set up the nursery while you're in the hospital will know where you want things to go. I bet they would be grateful to know exactly what you want and not have to make those decisions themselves anyway!

By the way, if you end up not having enough space for a changing table, you might look into this:

http://www.mylittlec...ging_Table.html

I actually had one of these for both of my kids years ago because I didn't have room for a full changing table. It was awesome ... portable, lightweight, and easy to clean.

Congrats on your twins, and good luck to you!

[careyayn22]

That is hard. I am not in the same situation, but I have been on bed rest since 19 weeks and will be until delivery...which could happen really any time. I am just hoping to stay out of the hospital for bed rest. So, We have nothing and will have little done by the time the boys arrive.

One thing about the cribs: we don't have a lot of room, so we are only setting up one crib for the first few months. I really think that will help. The other crib will go up when needed.

[Susanna+5]

It must be very difficult to not get everything ready... one of the pp mentioned painting the room and putting curtains up... Are you allowed to at least decorate?...that would take the bulk of the work out. As far as what you will need when the babies come. AS much emphasis is put on all the many things you will need, the fact of the matter is that the list for the first week or so is pretty simple. One or two loads of laundry will cover the essentials. You won't even need comforters washed b/c the babies will be too young to use them. Perhaps if you can stock up, at your mom's house, some basics in layette, crib sheets, spit clothes, and few receiving blankets, you could just have her wash it while you are at the hospital. Then leave a box or two of diapers and wipes there along with bottles and formula if you don't plan on bf (or as a back up plan in case bf doesn't work out)... then it would just be a matter of her running the laundry and supplies over. Obviously, the men could pitch in by running over the cribs and the carseats... But other than that you really will be fine...babies are pretty simple creatures... Food, clothing, diapers, and a safe place to sleep is all they really need. We just get stressed b/c of the popular image places like BRU like to show us on all the "essentials"... in reality, the true essentials might not get you a super cutsy nursery...but they will serve a functional purpose in absolute necessity after the babies arrive. If it's any comfort many non-jewish people wind up having house moves around the same time as their baby/babies arrive and go through basically the same dilemma... With my first child I really couldn't set up anything permanent until she was 3 months old! We were kind of living in a temporary fashion until we moved. And another friend of mine moved on the same day she went into labor. Her dh and friends finished moving them after her ds was born. She came home to nothing but boxes!! Couldn't even find her own underwear!!! Talk about unprepared...but she got through it, and family came over to help her organize things a little better.

[Susanna+5]

P.S. Out of curiousity...how is the issue treated when you are on another child?..for instance...I'm on my fourth child. We moved our twins to big kid beds a few months ago... I left one crib set up for the next child. Would you be required to completely remove all the baby supplies out of the house again????.... or do they kind of get "grandfathered" in b/c you have young kids... what if one of those kids were young enough to still be in the crib or maybe even still squeezing in the baby swing.... Just made me think and wonder what the situation is in this case... I still have infant clothing in storage in my attic which I'll be pulling down for Julianna... would you be required to remove the old baby clothes from the house? Sorry I'm being so nosey!!

[littletwinmom]

If it's any consolation, I'm not Jewish and hardly had anything done before the babies were here, because one, i was on bedrest so long, but mostly I was so paranoid and superstitious! Although not the same situation, I made a list of essentials for DH to go buy at Target, and was very specific. Honestly, we didn't even buy cribs until they were 2.5 months old! They slept in their bouncers or packn play until then. For the first few weeks, or longer, you really don't need much besides diapers and sleepers. OK, maybe you'll need a little more than that, but just spend your time making a long, specific list. You can research everything on the internet, then send your mom or DH once you're in the hospital after the babies are here. Even if you have a very short hospital days, and you all come home together, you can have someone go get the bare essentials and set that up at home before you get there. That's what we did. My inlaws set up a changing station and did all the laundry before we got home, and I was BF, so we didn't have to worry about bottles.

I didn't even own any preemie outfits until they were a week old...they probably looked pretty silly coming home in their outfits that were WAY too big, they were 4.10 and 4.12 when we came home, but I was too proud and happy to notice at the time!

I guess my point is, I'm a dork and get a big thrill out of making long lists, maybe that will help bide your time

It'll be here before you know it...hang in there