A bunch of questions!

Hi ladies,

I've been saving a few questions so I could email a collection rather than a million single posts :laughing: , so here goes:

1) I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to sleep train my kids :FIFblush: I just want to sleep a block of sleep without being tense and worried that someone is going to cry any minute and with DS that means you know you'll be up at least 45 min by the time he falls a sleep. For a few days it worked, we bathed them and they had a a little snack and fell asleep around 6:15-6:30pm, they needed a dream feed around 10ish and then when they woke up they just babbled (At different times of course, so I woke up x2) but I didn't go up to them and they fell asleep on their own within 30 min until 6 am. This happened two nights in a row, so I got SUPER excited thinking ok I can do this. Then last night they both woke up at 4:40-4:45 and had > 7 oz, WTH?? Then back to sleep around 6ish. I do have wonderful help at night, DH and I split the night into shifts and we often have another helper but you all know as the mom you are alert ALL the time and so... any advice? I just feel reading Weissbluth's book I should be sleep training my kids now and then I read other posters and they think it's too early .... I feel this pressure thinking that I am doing my children harm that I haven't taught them to self-soothe very well.

2) DS is really active, I mean he is thumping or kicking his legs A LOT. He reminds me of thumper in Bambi. I should preface that he can be calm, it's just not often :laughing: He is certainly the more physical baby of the two. How do you help him burn off his energy? Neither of our kids roll over but the doc said not to worry b/c they are meeting or surpassing their other milestones.

3) the sun and heat- do you take your kids outside in the really hot weather? We've had a heat spell in Toronto these last few days and even around 5pm the heat and humidity is strong. The kids sweat in their car seats and stroller and I worry about them burning. I'm going a little stir crazy and I wondered what you all did to keep the kids from overheating?

4) FINALLY, I am really disappointed regarding my stroller. We just bought a city mini double stroller, don't get me wrong it is light and pretty and quite spacious for the kids without being a monster but my biggest complaint is that it is outward facing, I can't see the babies!!! I didn't think that was a big deal but now it is. We've used our stroller 3 times and the babes seem too small to sit comfortably even though the stroller is intended for infants. After all my researching, I find the one that I do like (even though it's heavier) AFTER I buy and use the other stroller. It's called first wheels city twin and it looks amazing. You can forward or backward face the kids and moreover, one can face forward and one back if you need to seperate them. It's pricey but looks so functional. After spending a lot on the city mini i'm not sure what to do.... Anyone try that first wheels?

Ok, long enough, sorry for the novel. I just feel that at 4.5 months, I am still a slave to the wake, change, feed, play, poop cycle and that I haven't mastered the ME part... let alone started to exercise.

Anna

 

good luck with that! :laughing: my boys are 20 months old and i still have nights where i'm tense because i know someone is going to cry any minute.

all joking aside, you're probably just on the early side of being able to do true sleep training. they're only just barely able to self-soothe, if at all, and you might need to give them another month of development before they've really developed the brain activity that allows them to have more mature cycles into deep sleep. keep working with them and longer sleep will come, i promise!

do you have an activity mat? a mat with toys that dangle down that he can kick and swipe at might help entertain him while he's figuring out how his muscles work. we also had a bouncy chair with an activity bar that made lights and sounds whenever the baby kicked. they gradually learned that kicking made the bar go and they loved it.

we're in atlanta so we deal with heat and humidity every day. <_< we try to keep them in the shade, do more frequent, shorter outings rather than longer single trips outside, and there's also a playground at the mall where we can stay in air conditioning. malls, home depot, target, we consider these "outings" in the great, hot south.

check out the stroller sub-forum for stroller recommendations.

 

1. I started sleep CIO training at the 4 month mark. I had a baby night nurse show me how to keep track of a schedule, then tale it from there. It took 3 days for Danny and 6 for Brady. Then a TEETHING frenzy occured and they got 8 teeth within 6 weeks. Forget CIO at that point. They were so unhappy that I didn't re train until 8 months old. It has worked ever since, unless the occasional now molars come in.

2. I had a little game with a soccer ball attached, it says SCORE, and stuff like that. It works well for thw kicker in your life, also I saw a piano that plays music when kicked.

3. Live in Phoenix, I remember when we hit 122 degrees. I shouldn't complain, it's a dry heat. Anyway the peak of heat is 1-5 here. We simply don't go out during those times. I do everything in the am.

4. I have the baby trend stroller. It has it's flaws but for price am am satisfied. I used the snap and go for the first 8 months and was super pleased.

 

1) My dd was about 5 months when we did modified CIO with her. They had been sleeping through the night since 3 months old, so I knew it wasn't that, she was fed, changed, given motrin for teething, gas drops for gas....etc. So we did our version of cio (going back in when their crying changed from "hello I'm pissed off in here" to "MOM where did you GO??"), and within a couple of night's she was back to sleeping all night again. It was borderline early, but since she'd been sleeping for at least a month I knew she could self soothe if she needed to.

All that to say, you have to do what's right for you and your kids.....but i do feel at 4.5 months it's really borderline too early unless they've been consistently sleeping through the night already. Are they still eating at night? Why do they wake up....too warm? Too cool? Lost a paci? Are they still swaddled? Have you tried sleep sacks? White noise going? Have you tried lullabies? Sometimes if you can figure out what is waking them up, you can head it off and help them sleep longer.

2) I agree with activity mat, bouncer, or even exersaucer or jumperoo. Play with the timing of it....if it seems to wind him up, do it shortly after he wakes up from a nap but not before he takes a nap/bedtime. If it seems to calm him down and wear him out, do it right before a nap/bedtime to try to help him sleep better. Lots of playtime on the floor too will help him wear himself out, even if he just lays on his back and kicks his feet around.

3) At that age, no, we didn't go out much last summer at all. We did take a beach trip when they were 5-6 months old, we bought 2 beach umbrella's to be sure they were completely shaded, and used a spray bottle to keep misting them to keep them cooler. Otherwise, we didn't go out until about 4:30-5pm, when a huge oak tree in our yard would shade our deck enough that we could take them out in the bouncy seats.

4) I'm sorry about the stroller, but I have to say I've never had a stroller that faced me once the kids were out of their infant seats. As long as it has a recline, they should be fine if you tip them back and put them in it I don't believe in spending a lot of money on a stroller, both of mine cost under $200 each and I love them!

Around 4-5 months we started getting into a little more of a routine, and around 6-7 months we were able to predict what time they would need to eat, sleep...etc. So you are getting close to life becoming more predictable! :hug:

 

I'm not gonna reply to everything but I do want to comment on the sleep training. You will find that the people who chose to wait will tell you that 4 months is too early and those who have done it early will tell you its just fine to do it then. I sleep trained ours at 4 months, not because of night waking (I still nursed them in the middle of the night if they needed it) but for the very reason you mentioned: it took us a good 45 minutes to get them down EACH time. We sleep trained at bedtime and naptime and found that once they learned to self-soothe they still woke up once to eat but otherwise didn't cry out at all. It really helped though because even when they woke to eat we could just lay them down afterwards with no rocking.

As for the stroller, soon they will be really wanting to see everything around them and will like being forward facing so I wouldn't worry about it. We have two side by side jogging strollers (one In-Step and one Baby Trend) and the kids love them!

 

1)I think you should go for it with the method you are comfortable with trying. Only you know your children. I really think your momma instinct kicks in and you will know what works and what doesn't as far as crying. Personally, I like the credibility around Weissbluth's book and he does offer many different methods to try. At the end of the day, your actions are only one factor. You can't control their temperament. My girls transitioned easily to being laid down awake after months of rocking...other children may put up a fight due to the fact that they were rocked for so long. They didn't STTN until 10 mos. That is late to some, but early to other posters that I have read. Sometimes it seems like kind of a crap shoot to put it bluntly...so just try something different to shake things up a bit. That being said, I hear ya when it comes to that ALERT factor that never lets you rest. I hear every peep still. Do you sleep next to them or next to a monitor? If so, lose the monitor when it isn't your shift.

2) I got outside as much as I could - sunlight is great for them and exposure to bright light helps wear them out. I used a bumbo chair at this age, small increments in a doorway chair, the jumperoo, and we did tons of rhymes and singing. Amazing how smiling and giggling tires them out. I would also do baby massage and pull to a stand a lot - they used their tummy muscles - hard work.

3) Very small increments in the hot weather - mostly walking to the park. I put some swings in a tree out front and that was a nice break. I would keep them covered at this age still - was afraid of burning, but we are at higher altitude.

4) I have to agree with another poster who said they are going to want to face out! LOL! Seriously, if only I had known I would have bought the side by side from the beginning. The tandem is a nightmare now and if they do look at me, all is lost and they want out. And that has been since 6 mos or before. Seriously, a month from now might mark a huge difference. I might suggest waiting this out. But again, it is a tough call as all kids are different.

Anna - your last sentence made me laugh...and relate. I still feel the same way - don't look at my LOs ages or that might depress you. No, seriously though, I exercise a little now. No, but really, seriously, great job on all the hard work you are putting in to figure things out. I really felt I was mastering some aspects around the 7 month mark. For some reason that sticks in my mind. For me months 4-7 were pretty challenging as they became quite active and were waiting for their little bodies to catch up to them. It will go by so fast...take in as much as you can as you are figuring them out. Good luck to you!

 

1. I have another book to recommend for you on sleep: Ann Douglas's Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler. I liked her book because she not only went into different sleep issues and what could be causing them but also reviewed the major sleep training methods and gave tips on how to do them.
That being said, I did not start CIO on my two until they were 6 months old (we only had to use it for naps at 6 months old, they were terrible nappers) Prior to that at bedtime, we just kept a consistent bedtime routine. With regards to sleep training you have to do what is comfortable for you and your family but all children will STTN at their own pace.
2. I agree with PP's: jumparoo, exersaucer, play mat, laying them on the belly on the floor with toys spread out to have them to try & reach & grab.
3. I am a total wimp in the heat (I live in Philly) so in the summer when I took them out--it would be early in the morning when it was cooler and we'd stick to the shade. Any later, it would be walks through the mall or bookstore. I put them in light clothing, sunscreen and floppy hats when we would go out.
4. I can't answer you about the stroller. Definitely check out the stroller sub-forum that Sara mentioned.

Good luck!

 

Yeah, good luck with that. At least you get help at night, my DH works 16-18 hours a day, so he sleeps hard at night. I'm up no less than 4 times a night for 45 minutes each time.

One of my twins does that same thing. I thinks its pretty normal & their thumping around IS their way of burning off energy.

I take mine outside in the heat for short periods of time, and they ALWAYS have a hat to protect their bald heads & LOTS of sunscreen. Never too long outside & I usually just carry them so they don't sweat in their seat.