Absolutely terrified of the doctor

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Snittens, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    Bea is downright terrified of the doctor and the nurse too for that matter. She screams from the moment she gets weighed all the way to the end of the appt. We had what should have been the 21 month appt (our check-ups have been running late) yesterday, and it's so bad that I almost feel like it's a waste of time. He can barely look at her. Ainsley cries, but it's more what one would expect, it's not hysterics like Bea does.
    The doctor is a nice guy and he's friendly with them, I'm not sure why she is so scared. We pretty much have to restrain her in order for him to look in her ears and such. DH has to hold her for shots since he's stronger than me, to keep her from hurting herself.

    How can I make the next appt go smoother, besides giving her a tranquilizer? Are there any good DVD's we could rent, like So-and-so goes to the doctor?

    Everything was fine at the appt, I just forget all the stats and stuff with Bea's crying. I know the weights were around 29 lbs and they were only one ounce different. Ainsley has since about 2-3 months been a couple pounds heavier. I asked about her feet turning out when walking, and he said she should grow out of it.
     
  2. twinzmom2b

    twinzmom2b Well-Known Member

    Do they sit on the table for the exam or do you hold them? Most of the time when we go, they do most of the exam with the girls sitting on our lap. I know Morgan always carries around her little Elmo, so the pedi will act like she is looking in Elmo's ears/eyes/mouth and then look at Morgan's the same way and she think it's neat!

    Also, they got the Elmo Giggle Dr. Kit for their birthday. They LOVE that thing. There is an instruement in there like they use for the ears...there is also a blood pressure cuff and a stethescope. My girls have been playing with that for almost a week now and they will get it out and I'll act like I"m looking in their ears...hehehe, they will even pull my hair back and look in mine. I can't say that it helped them at this last apt...but there were NO tears and that was a first!
     
  3. Fay

    Fay Well-Known Member

    QUOTE
    Also, they got the Elmo Giggle Dr. Kit for their birthday. They LOVE that thing. There is an instruement in there like they use for the ears...there is also a blood pressure cuff and a stethescope. My girls have been playing with that for almost a week now and they will get it out and I'll act like I"m looking in their ears...hehehe, they will even pull my hair back and look in mine. I can't say that it helped them at this last apt...but there were NO tears and that was a first!


    Let me second that suggestion! Our elmo has a bandaid on his foot, a thermometer, a bp cuff and a stethoscope. It's Ethan's Elmo because he used to have such an awful time with doctors. For the longest time he was getting regular blood draws and it got so bad that he would scream bloody murder if he saw someone in a white blouse (looked similar to a white coat the residents wore) or if we laid him on any firm surface, like a changing table. We also checked out lots of books at library about doctors and doctors offices, etc.

    like someone already suggested, we hold them in our laps as much as possible during the exam. also, our nurses and pedi are very patient (and affectionate) and they let the boys take a turn with the tools/instruments. That helps too.

    It was probably close to two when Ethan finally accepted the doctors visits well and now he LOVES to go! ha! With every bump and bruise he asks to go to the doctor! But that was roughly 6 mo after his invasive visits really stopped.

    Good luck, i know that can be so stressful! for everyone involved :love0028:
     
  4. double-or-nothing

    double-or-nothing Well-Known Member

    gosh, i know how you feel. unfortunately, BOTH my dds are TERRIFIED of the doctors and the nurses. they do fine until i take them out of the stroller and put them on the table to undress them for their weigh in and height measurement. I do hold them throughout most of the exam but they still cry hysterically. last time i was at the peds office i apologized for them crying so hysterically and he said not to worry that their reaction is very normal and they will probably be this way until they are at least 2 possibly longer. that made me feel much better.
     
  5. Nancy C

    Nancy C Well-Known Member

    Sounds just like my son! We got the doctor kit, which he thinks is neat, but still doesn't want the nurse or doctor anywhere near him. I took him in for wheezing but they couldn't tell because he was screaming and they couldn't hear anything. I let him play with the stethoscope all the time and he has finally gotten a bit better about that. We read books and play doctor with his animals but it is still pretty traumatic. I am sooooo dreading his allergist appointment where they will draw blood and do skin tests, ugh!!
    Hang in there, just another fun stage to outgrow!!!
     
  6. Amanda+2

    Amanda+2 Well-Known Member

    Mine are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Spencer is the one that freaks out the moment the nurse enters the room, it's a male nurse and Spencer HATES him. I hold him through his exams too, but it doesn't matter. And to make matters worse Spencer has the loudest cry, I know the whole office thinks we are tourturing him or something. Carter is another story...he laughs through his exam, he thinks it's great fun. At their last appt the doc said Spencer's reaction is more normal than Carter's.
    I don't have much advice though, I need some too for Spencer!
     
  7. TwinxesMom

    TwinxesMom Well-Known Member

  8. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the suggestions. The Elmo looks cute, I might get that. They are just starting to like Elmo. I'll look for some of the videos at the library too. They do sit on my lap for the exam, but it doesn't help. She just clings to me like a cat stuck in a tree. I have to hold her tight so she doesn't flail and knock the instruments out of the doctor's hand or hurt herself.
     
  9. swiertel

    swiertel Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling all too well and tomorrow we go for our 18 mo. check up! Ella is OUT OF CONTROL!!! We talk about going and how the doctor will look in her mouth and ears...Doesn't matter! I am constantly holding my hand over her mouth so I can hear the doc! Sorry that I don't have any other advice, but know that you're not alone!
     
  10. TwinxesMom

    TwinxesMom Well-Known Member

    Another from the start the dr had us hold them for check ups. For there ear, nose and mouth we hold their arms down and a hand on their forehead. I guess this has an effect since it has always been that way, it routine
     
  11. jenn-

    jenn- Well-Known Member

    Nathan has had a few bad experiences with the ENT (we were trying to avoid surgery to remove a tube that had fallen out and gotten stuck in the ear canal), so he now wants nothing to do with the ear scope. Luckily we only had 1 really bad visit that was around that age, where they were just really freaked out about the whole experience. There for a while Nathan would get upset at anyone in a nurses outfit. I just can't wait until he meets the dentist :rolleyes: (but that is Daddy's job).
     
  12. pyjamamum

    pyjamamum Well-Known Member

    Our girls have had two sets of grommets (ear tubes) put in, and with the second lot they had their adenoids removed, so it was a full day stay in hospital (they were two and four months). They have always been okay at the doctor - the odd lot of crying when he used the otoscope, but no earsplitting shrieks! But to rehearse for their adenoidectomy, we "fixed the ears" of their teddy bears, George and Felix, several times - practiced everything, including the mask over their faces, being covered by a blanket, etc. When it was time to go in for surgery they lay down on the table as good as gold, bless their little hearts, and put the mask over their own mouths and noses! The anaesthetist couldn't believe it - he said the practice made all the difference.

    Could you and your husband do lots of doctor role play before your next visit? One of you could be the patient and the other be the doctor...and, if you're like me and resort to the odd reward for desirable behaviour, you could incorporate a jellybean or jube into your role play at the end if you or your husband (whoever's being the patient) can get through the whole thing without screaming! Your little man might end up clamouring for his turn! It works so well with little ones at the age yours are at to see someone actually doing it...I found books about experiences became more effective at two and a half or so. Good luck because it is truly grim to have your child freak out when you've got no option but to go through with whatever's causing the freaking!

    Cheers

    Tania
     
  13. mmhzmom

    mmhzmom Well-Known Member

    I haven't read all of the other replies, but both of my older two, and Hannah were/are terrified of the doctor. For Matt and Mila, no matter what I did they were terrified until they turned three and then it was like a switch went off and they were no longer afraid. They actually participate in the appointment and look forward to them. I don't have any great advice other than there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am assuming that this will happen with Hannah as well, but I guess only time will tell.

    Best of luck.
     
  14. Tif3

    Tif3 Well-Known Member

    My kids hated the Dr after they started associating her with getting shots. Which happens sooner than you think I think for mine it was around 12-15 months maybe sooner. I had to start going to the County Health Nurse (not sure if they have those everywhere or not) to get my kids vaccinated. Things started going better after that.
    We also bought the Elmo Dr Kit. My kids loved it!!

    Tiffaney
     
  15. blessedby2

    blessedby2 Well-Known Member

    I haven't read all of your responses yet, but this is what has helped for us. We bought a play doctors kit, and my kids play with it all the time. At first, I used it on dolls and stuffed animals and told them about what I was doing and what the doctor/nurse would do for them - take temp, etc. Then, prior to going to the doctor, I would tell them all about their upcoming trip. That day, I would pack the kit and their favorite stuffed animal/doll. And, while the doc/nurse took their temp, they could do the same to their stuffed animal/doll. This helped a lot. My kids were getting nervous at the doc and now they are really good in their office. Also, now that they are older, I tell them that if they are good they can get a sticker when we leave (which is what the doc passes out instead of lollipops). At the end, I wink at the doc and ask her if the kids were good and if they could get a sticker. She quickly catches on, and tells them how good they were and to pick one up on our way out. HTH. :)
     
  16. marieta

    marieta Well-Known Member

    My DD is the same, I'm hoping she'll grow out of it. I think it's males she's afraid of, she's ok with female nurses. DD on the other hand tries to pull stuff off the doctor and play with it! I don't think there's much we can do, just let them outgrow it, hopefully!
     
  17. Millie&twins

    Millie&twins Well-Known Member

    Well, I am a doctor and that has always helped ours (1st by reassurance that dr.s are nice people and 2.) because they are treated nicely and I have the resources to make painful moments less so). They do sometimes cry and protest a bit, but since the doc is mommy's friend from "big people's school" and all, they are usually ok. They did wail once when they got vaccines and since then we use "magic cream" that will anaesthetize the area and so it doesn't hurt. I know they don't use it usually and in fact I bring my own along.
    While I was going through medschool there was a charity called teddy bear clinic in which I took part. We would go to nursery schools (that would be preschools in the US) and talk about going to the dr. and do some role play with teddy bears. We also talked about healthy food and not so healthy food, and other health related issues. However I do not feel like the kids would be any different after only 1 visit to their nursery school. But we tried to talk about how we do not have to be afraid and how sometimes you or your mommy or daddy have to go to hospital and how that will be, etc...
    Millie
     
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