ALONE with twins and 2 children

My husband will be returning to work next weekend. Our twins will be 1 month old. He will be gone basically for 5 days/5nights. I have a 3 and 5 year old and the twins.

Will I be able to do this ALONE?!?! Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you make it work?

Any comments/suggestions appreciated - I am getting very nervous!!!!

 

I have a 7yo, 2yo and 2 1yo's. My DH is usually gone for 16 hours a day. I suggest being very organized and be willing to let some things go. Kids don't really *need* to have a bath every day, they don't *need* to eat something you cooked, and they won't die if you let them watch too much tv.

As far as caring for your newborns try to make sure you have everything you need at all times. Take a nap if you can.

My last piece of advice is not to panic. Just take deep breaths and try to make it from minute to minute if you have to. Good luck!

 

That is daunting for sure! Hopefully the 5 year old is able to help a little, and you can arrange for play dates or something. Of course you'll need to visit TS often! Before I had the twins I made about 24 freezer meals and it has been a real sanity/time saver. When I don't feel like cooking, or had a rough day I just pull something out of the freezer and voila--dinner. I'm not a naturally organized person, but I'm finding I am becoming much more so in order for things to run smoothly around here. I think you're amazing, and I'm sure you're going to be just fine.

Reyna

 

Just focus on getting through small amounts of time! Day by day, you can do it. Reward yourself here and there also, with some down time, a bath, a special snack, etc (you need things to look forward to). Get any help you can... ? Get out of the house for even small increments of time if possible (I know that pretty much means getting help from a friend). Also, make sure you are stocked up on whatever you need, because a 'quick trip' to the store is not very feasable.

Also, discuss in depth with DH what you will need from him when he arrives home. Granted he's been working too, but you will need some time to yourself and the kids will need some daddy time.

My husband was just gone for 3 days and it felt pretty insurmountable at first, but we made it through. I almost broke though, when he missed a connecting flight because of a delayed flight, and had to stay an extra day. (it was kind of like running a marathon, and rounding that last curve expecting to see the finish line but instead seeing a sign that reads 'the finish line has been moved ahead 2 miles, keep going')

Mine are 3 (barely), 16 months, and twin 3.5 month olds.

Good luck, you can do it!

 

QUOTE(vweaver @ Jul 18 2007, 08:47 PM) [snapback]336975[/snapback]
My husband will be returning to work next weekend. Our twins will be 1 month old. He will be gone basically for 5 days/5nights. I have a 3 and 5 year old and the twins.

Will I be able to do this ALONE?!?! Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you make it work?

Any comments/suggestions appreciated - I am getting very nervous!!!!



Oh girl...its daunting isnt it? The good news? God does provide. I dont know how Ive made it this far, but the kids all still have their fingers and toes and are growing proportionately! My husband travels 100% (he's always gone) and it is hard~ I wont lie ~but we women make it work! For me I pick my battles and stick to a routine. When you finally get into a groove it will feel a bit more normal again.

 

I have 3 older and 4month twin girls!! I have no idea really HOW I do it I just know I CAN do it!! lol... Just hang in there mommy everything will get done and at the end of the day you will look around and wonder how you did it! Sorry I have no real advice!

 

It may be difficult at first, but you will get into a rythm. Yes! You can do it!!

 

You can do it!

Have easy microwave meals to feed the older two - they will survive poor nutrition for a month or two until the babies are a little less needy. Have loads of coloring books to help keep them busy. Come up with little things they can do to help you (a song while they help pick things up off the living room floor - stuff like that.) Be O.K. with letting some of the housework go. Have some vidoes around that they like - again- it won't hurt them to watch a little more TV than usual!

Our kids were 6 and 4 when my husband went back to work when the twins were four weeks. We had no other help. They survived it. They didn't get a bath as often as they should have, they ate TV dinners or soup a lot of nights (we never to TV dinners normally), and I let them each pick out one movie a day to watch (again, something I never did) - but you do what you have to do to survive it!

Hope all goes well. You can do it!

 

My husband travels a lot in the winter for work, and our babies were born in October -- so I was home alone a LOT with two newborns, a 2yo and a 4yo. It is really hard, but you can do it!

Meals are definitely the hardest part, so the microwavable food or food in the freezer is a must.

When you manage to get both babies asleep, if you can manage it, park yourself on the couch or floor with pillows, put on TV or movies for the older kids, and close your eyes for a few minutes while they cuddle with you. Gives them some mommy time and lets you catch at least a moment of stillness.

Try and get yourself a few "buddies" on TS or YIM or something that you can talk to throughout the day, it's a must.

Oh, and if the weather is good, getting outside is the best thing -- wears out the older kids and is good for morale.

((hugs))

 

You've gotten excellent advice, just wanted to add a :hug99: !!

As far as meal go, do you have any meal prep places close to you: dream dinners, super supper, supper thyme? Hire a teenage/bribe a friend to go assemble some meals for you - if not, just go w/whatever is prepared in the frozen section at your grocery. My older DD loved getting topick out as much as possible for the babies - what outfit should they wear, which burp cloth should I use, will you bring it to me...

 

Were you used to being alone with the other two before the twins arrived? How did you handle that?

My spouse is a pilot who (obviously) travels a lot. I was worried about my first few nights alone after the twins came, and it was fine. I have a 6 year old, 4 year old and almost 1 month old twins. The only change I've found during the last month is that I have pulled out the TV again after a few years of not using it. I'll put the older two in front of it once both babies are asleep during the day and try to nap for 45 minutes. Meals are easy since the kids are so particular- I just make what I know they will eat and have tossed out trying to get them to like "real" food. We've had more cereal, bagels. sandwiches, etc than normal but in the long run it won't hurt them.

In terms of making sure the older kids still get plenty of attention- i try to use the time spent nursing the babes as their reading time.

Keep cool, go with the flow and don't sweat the small stuff. You'll do fine.

 

If I can make it with a 3 year old, twins, and a husband who is gone 4 out of 5 weeks from Monday - Friday, I'll bet you can, too. It was really hard at first, and I called every friend I have to come and help at first, but I got more organized, less worried, and we've made it so far. My house is a mess, I haven't slept enough, and so on ... but my kids are happy, healthy, and know we both love them very much.

One thing I did that people thought was a little strange but really worked for us - we bottle feed (still have 2 a day) and I mix up formula ahead and keep it in the fridge. And then I don't warm it up. They can't drink formula warm these days because they are so used to it now. I'm not sure if it really saved that much time, but it felt like it did, and sometimes that's what counts.

Good luck, but I don't think you are going to need it!
Emily

 

THANK YOU everyone for all your support!!!!!

My husband will be starting this Thursday. I know I can do this - I was just having a moment!!!

We do have our freezer stocked full of frozen meals and easy kid meals. So, that should help a lot. My husband has been wonderful for the past four weeks and he is very supportive of me so that makes everything a lot more manageable.

Thank you for listening and all your replies - it does make me feel a lot better!!! Thank You!!!

One last question ????
Once the twins got older, what type of schedule did you have set in your house, in particular at night time?

 

This may be too far ahead for what you were asking, but currently, the twins are on baby food and finger food, and my husband isn't home at night until late or at all most nights. So, at 5:30 ish, babies get fed, daughter gets fed, and I make something for dinner (easy, microwave or heated up normally) for me. I do a lot of crock pot stuff and freeze in smaller containers.
Once I'm done with feeding the babies, they stay in their high chairs and get finger foods. This is switching to more finger foods over time and much less me feeding them. Magpie is still eating, so we all get to "eat" together a little.
After we eat, then I do as little clean up as possible while the 3 girls play some. Baths every other night (or so, depending on how much energy I have) and/or some play time and reading.
The twins are in bed about 6:45. Then I get Mommy and Maggie time until 7:30, when she goes to bed. After that, then I really clean up and get ready to start the next day.

They all get up early (5:45 - 6:00 a.m.) for the days I go to work, so I keep them on same schedule every day to make life easier. Although I really miss being able to sleep in. I should just be grateful I am getting to sleep through the night most nights now, huh?
Emily

 

Thanks for responding with your schedule!!!

My girls go to bed early and are up early as well. Older girls are 7:30 and 8 go to bed and typically up by 6 AM - so there is no sleeping in here either but I do enjoy the "down time" at night. Of course, the twins are not on a schedule yet, but I was curious how others did it with the older and younger children by themselves.

I will let everyone know how it goes. Once again, thank you everyone for all the replies. It helps a lot to know your not alone!!! THANK YOU!!

 

I have 4 kids. You can do it. I find it's easier when I make big make meals, make them extra big so you have leftovers for the next day. That way you only really have to "make" dinner every other day.

Good luck! You can do it!!