Am I being negative and paranoid?

My son is spending 2 weeks 8 hours away working for his grandparents. My DH is driving up there to pick him up next weekend. He will be gone Friday through Sunday. DH offered to take the 3 girls with him. I am not going up this time. I am scared to death to let DH take the girls because if, Goid forbid, there would be an accident, my whole family is wiped out. Is that an insane way to think? I just don't want everyone in my family (except me) driving so far away. I really want to keep the girls home with me. Am I nuts?

 

Not nuts, but probably focusing on the wrong thing. There's so much that could go wrong on a daily basis that it's not worth worrying about the one in a million chances. For example, you don't worry about an asteroid hitting your kids school, or an airplane falling on your house, or other improbable things that could wipe everyone out. I know car accidents are more common than asteroids... but if you worry about stuff you can't control, it's hard to enjoy life.

 

These are the kinds of things I can get myself all worked up about, too. I had made myself a nervous wreck a few weeks ago when my parents were planning on taking our twins on a 3 hr drive up to their house for 5 days. I was terrified they would be in an accident, something awful would happen, etc. I *almost* cancelled - but then my craziness starts thinking that if I cancelled what they were *supposed* to be doing, something bad could happen here - an accident on their way to the babysitters when they shouldn't have been going that week at all, but I had cancelled and screwed with the order of events. :laughing: And then I just realized, I was really worrying over something BECAUSE I had no control over it once they were gone. There was no reason for me to let my paranoia and worry get the better of me. It is just paralyzing to think of something happening to our children, but we can't lock them up in a safe room for their entire lives (no matter how much that would help our worries!) And I realized that my oldest son has had wonderful memories (still does) of going to the grandparents' houses for overnights and that my youngest boys have the right to that kind of fun and memories, too.

It is terrifying and those thoughts can really get the better of you, but try to relax and look at it realistically. Accidents are probably more likely to happen during your trips to the grocery store, dentist, park, baseball practice, etc.

That said, I totally understand where you are coming from - and if you can't let go of the worry, keep them home with you. :hug:

 

We had a family at the school that I worked at that when they went on an airplane trip they would seperate and take different flights. At the time I didn't have a family and thought they were crazy. I undestand now.

 

I think it's normal to worry about those things. The issue comes in when that worry doesn't allow you to live life. I would say extra prayers and let them go.

 

:laughing: This sounds exactly like how my brain works! :laughing:

:laughing: This sounds exactly like how my brain works! :laughing:

 

It is always nice to find others who think like this!! :laughing:

 

Karma is a B...., I dont wanna piss her off! :rotflmbo:

 

I agree. In April, I went to NY (flying from Seattle) to visit my brother. As I got closer to going, I started having those kinds of "what if" thoughts about something happening to the baby and I. The thought of leaving my family motherless was stressing me out. I stayed up late the night before I left leaving love notes in both common and obscure places, for my DH and kids. I didn't say anything like "In case I die..." just told them I loved them and would miss them while I was gone. One of the main reasons I scrapbook is because I have that constant worry in the back of my head. I don't want them or me to forget the important things or even the little day to day moments (which really are the important things, I guess), and I want them to know how much they were loved, should something happen to me. So yeah, it affects my life a little, but I try very hard not to let it keep me from living life or letting them do so.

On the other hand, sometimes I've had very bad feelings about something and have acted on those. My DD was supposed to stay with my folks for a week, instead of driving home with us. I just couldn't shake that it felt wrong, even though she'd done it a number of times before. As it turned out, she started throwing up almost the minute we walked in the door at home (4 hours from where my folks live). My mom is NOT up to dealing with that, and Sage would have been sooooo much more miserable being stuck there while sick. I'm really glad I listened to that still small voice.

It's just sometimes hard to know when it's really inspiration and when it's blind, mostly irrational panic.

 

This is something I worry about also. And a couple of weeks ago, this nearly happened for a family here in town. It scares me even more. But, I'm not sure that I would say "no". I would probably do what I could to go with. For some reason, in my mind, this would help make everything ok. Crazy, I know, but that is how I feel.

 

I have had these same worries myself. DH will take all three girls with him up to the lake when my MIL takes them for a weekend. I worry the entire 1.5 hours of the drive, and sometimes call during that time. He always calls me when he gets there and right before he leaves. I do it though. I just keep myself busy during that time.

Anything can happen to anyone. We had tornados go through our area 10 days ago. One was an EF4 that took out a local high school, their township hall and several homes were gone. One family was sleeping when it hit (was at night). The son died instantly, the mom died a little while later at the hospital. The dad and daughter were also hospitalized. Unfortunetly, the dad passed away yesterday evening. All that is left of the family is the daughter who is seven years old. Three others died from the tornado too.

Try to not to worry, and let them go. It is hard not to think of that stuff, but it will make you crazy if you do.

 

I understand the fear. I don't think it is unusual to have such thoughts but I also think it's important to not let your fears make decisions for you.

 

I hate when I'm alone in the house and worry about break-ins or fires, etc. There are so many things to worry about in life and when you have kids it seems to magnify those fears. I agree with the pp not to let it control you. That "fight or flight" feelings hit and we have to "fight".

Heather

 

I know people who fly separately, too. My husband says that flying separately just doubles the chance that one of the parents will be killed in an airplane crash. Interesting when you look at it that way.

 

I worry about that stuff too. Inevitably, I try and let it go, but there is a lack of control when they are all gone that scares the bajeesus out of me. I think its a normal mom thing.