Anxiety Issues

Over the past week Reagan has become anxious and worried about kidnappings. 
 
It seems to have all started when I asked her to go get her brother from a neighbors house. We live in a townhouse complex. There are four long rows of townhouses with a small pond in the very middle. Our house faces the pond in the second row. The neighbor lives the on the 4th row and is behind the other row that faces the pond. (I hope that makes sense.) Our complex is usually gated, but the gate has been broken for a few weeks. But we feel safe here and have generally let the kids go by themselves to the few houses of their friends. They don't really have free rein over the whole complex though. 
 
Anyway, so the other night Chris was working late and the baby was sleeping. Dinner was ready so I asked Rea to go knock on the door of Jason's friend to tell him to come home for dinner. 
 
She said that when she was knocking that a car drove past her (there is a driveway that makes a big loop between the townhouses that don't have the pond between them) and there was a man driving. To quote her, "He looked at me like he wouldn't be nice to me. Like maybe he would hurt me. It was a smile but it didn't seem like a nice smile. Maybe he would kidnap me."
 
Now I have no idea why she'd automatically jump to him kidnapping her. But we did talk about how she felt and I told her that she should always trust that feeling and tell me if anyone ever makes her feel unsafe- no matter who it is, family, friend, or stranger. And I told her I wouldn't ask that she go get Jason again if she didn't feel safe doing that. 
 
But since then she's been nervous going to bed. I have to reassure her that I did lock all the doors and windows. There is no one in the house. All those things. I'm really concerned that instead of feeling better, she's becoming more anxious about it. She's fine during the day and doesn't seem too concerned. It's only at night when I'm putting her to bed. Tonight she asked me where the kidnappers take people, and if they sometimes locked them in basements. I really don't know where she's getting that! 
 
She's also started being more clingy to me than normal when it comes to  me leaving her anywhere. The kids went to stay with DH's aunt on Sunday evening so we could go out to dinner. She got really clingy to me and teary when we first got there. We visited and hung out for about an hour before leaving. By the time we left she was fine and when we got back she was perfectly fine and even wanted to spend the night! 
 
I'm just not sure what else to do for her to ease her fears and mind. And I'm also wondering if I should maybe go talk to her ped about it or if that's making it more than it is. I just want her to feel safe in her own home. It's breaking my heart that she's feeling this way.

 

:hug: to you and Reagan, Gina.
I think you did the right thing and in telling her to honor her own instinct and how she feels.  It almost sounds to me like separation anxiety.  When does school start for you again?  Maybe the root of her anxiety is school starting again and being away from home during the day?
I would definitely talk to the pediatrician about it.
I wonder if she saw or heard something on the news about a kidnapping or maybe some kids in the neighborhood might have been talking about it.  I would continue to reassure her that she is safe and that the doors and windows are locked and no one can get in.  And just keep talking to her, so she can get those thoughts out.
My daughter is in treatment for social anxiety and my son is anxious, so I am reading a book called "Freeing Your Child From Anxiety" and one of the tips the author suggests is having your child challenge the anxious thoughts:  What does your smart brain say (to the anxious thought)?

 

Thanks Nancy! I never thought of it as a separation issue. But that does make sense. Their first day of school is tomorrow. We go today to meet teachers and bring supplies.
Hopefully that will help if that's the root cause.

I just feel for her. She is the type who needs to know what to expect and likes plan and be prepared.

 

How did the first day go?
I feel for her, I am the same way-I like to expect what's coming and plan ahead.  I was that way as a kid too and my Mom would be like, you can't plan for everything!

 

Gina-how was their first day back at school? 
IDK how to handle the anxiety about kidnappers, but my guess is that it is coming from a phase of seperation anxiety or as Nancy said, she may have heard something on the news that has her worried. 
I know when I have the stranger danger talk with the kids one of them always says 'can we stop talking about it, you're scaring me'  
Mine play outside without supervision A LOT so I have to remind them how to handle those situations.  Reese would probably fall for the 'do you want to see my puppy' sham in a heartbeat

 

I totally messed that up. Yesterday was the meet & greet and then today was the first day of school. My brain needs to catch up! LOL
 
But I do think yesterday helped. Going up to the school and seeing her classroom and meeting her teacher. And then she found out that her best friend will be in her class again this year. I think that helped more than anything else. Y'all she nearly cried when she found that out. Her eyes did fill with tears and I could tell she felt a lot of relief. 
 
We did talk some more last night about how she's feeling. And we just went over again how mommy and daddy make sure that all the doors and windows are locked and we'll keep her safe. I do feel like last night she was more easily reassured though. Hopefully this is starting to pass. I know we can't protect them from everything and I can't always keep her from getting hurt, but as a mom it's a terrible feeling for them to be scared. 

 

That's so great to know that her friend is in her class again this year! Yay!!  I'm anxious to see how this all turns out for my kids as well. 
You are right, we can always protect them from gettig hurt, but it sure does break our hearts when we see it happening.  *hugs*
I hope they are having a GREAT first day!

 

Gina, I am happy she was reassured by seeing the classroom, her teacher and knowing her best friend was in her class.  I hope she had a great day at school.  I agree, it is hard to see your child scared and all you can do is your best to reassure them.  You are doing the right thing in talking to her and letting her get those feelings and thoughts out.

 

They both had a great day yesterday! And she did actually go outside to play a little bit and didn't seem to be freaked out. But then again last night while I was putting her to bed, she had to go through this list of all the doors and windows being locked. She's getting easier to reassure though. Honestly, I hate to question her, but I'm also starting to wonder if this is a delay tactic at bedtime. That seems to be when it's the worst.