Anyone have any experience with teenagers

who are content with their grades but are capable of SO much more? I am not even asking for straight A's even though he is quite capable. I am drawing the line at C's though. He can do better. He states that he shouldn't/can't study after school hours. His philosophy is that once he is done with school he shouldn't have to open a book. Oh...unless it is way past bedtime and he thinks it is ok to study then. Which we all know that you are not going to retain all that much when you are exhausted and only use that as your study time, kwim? He is in 9th grade and has never had to study a thing and it is catching up to him. Which is something I have said when I saw this happening in elementary school.

Does it click in? Do they figure it out on their own? I am considering tutoring even though I know he knows how but not sure what else it can be? Maybe he doesn't know how to study but he still needs to put in some time besides being in school.

 

QUOTE
Oh...unless it is way past bedtime and he thinks it is ok to study then.
What about telling him that at 8:00pm he can either go to bed or spend an hour reading and studying. When my kids' grades start dropping I start micromananging their lives to the point of insanity for them. Then inform them that as soon as I see 85 and above in all classes on their report cards I'll back off. I've taken away video games for an entire 6 wks. "You want video games/computer time back? Bring your grades up." For us it's a roller coaster. We have really good report cards, then we have some that make me want to scream.

HTH..

 

QUOTE(4EverHis @ Oct 19 2007, 06:49 AM) [snapback]457733[/snapback]
Does it click in? Do they figure it out on their own? I am considering tutoring even though I know he knows how but not sure what else it can be? Maybe he doesn't know how to study but he still needs to put in some time besides being in school.

I dont have teenagers, but i do have personal exp...
It didnt click in for me until 2 years after i should have graduated.. (i graduated in 2004 should have been 2002) I was a great student until 9th grade. HS is just harder with all the "changes" that go on.. You might want to remind him how embarrasing it would be to not graduate with all his friends...
Also.. (this use to help me..) Tell him he can do homework after school or during the summer...

 

Ah yes... good ole summer school .

 

QUOTE(Donita @ Oct 20 2007, 03:03 PM) [snapback]459550[/snapback]
What about telling him that at 8:00pm he can either go to bed or spend an hour reading and studying. When my kids' grades start dropping I start micromananging their lives to the point of insanity for them. Then inform them that as soon as I see 85 and above in all classes on their report cards I'll back off. I've taken away video games for an entire 6 wks. "You want video games/computer time back? Bring your grades up."


Hello, I'm Ruby, Donita's twin... boys are worse in high school about caring about their grades than girls. They aren't as emotionally mature and it really does matter. I have also had the "school should end at school" argument more times than I care to recall with my eldest. In middleschool he could literally spend 90 mins ranting about why he shouldn't have to do homework--longer than it would have taken to do the darn homework!

 

LOL Ruby! We do tend to agree alot.

 

QUOTE
Hello, I'm Ruby, Donita's twin


Make that triplets! Donita, Ruby and Me!

Our kids know that we expect them to get the best grades they are capable of (oops..hanging participle!). If they are letting things slide, I tell them they cannot have this or that extra activity because obviously they cannot handle the workload now and adding something else to it would be foolish. It's simple: Keep up grades, enjoy more freedom/activites. Ditto for TV time and computer time. Our 10th grader does what your son does...we simply cut off the internet at 9PM and tell him lights out. No homework OR fooling around online after 9PM. If he's doing his work and has been conscientious for a while, then we will allow a later night of school writing. But a week of fooling around will not end with a late night cram session...It's his choice if he wants to let his grades fall, but, it will cost him...we have a "Good Grades Trip" incentive in our house. Only kids who receive more As than Bs in core subjects and nothing lower than a B in any subject, are eligible for the cool trips their father usually is able to work into the year, mixing business with pleasure.

Although I worry about how well the kids are doing in school, I don't worry to the extent that I will do anything to make sure their grades are good. Ultimately, it is up to them. But I make sure that I let them know how important it is to their futures/their choices in life/their ability to fulfill their own dreams as often as possible!

So far, it has worked!

 

QUOTE
In middleschool he could literally spend 90 mins ranting about why he shouldn't have to do homework--longer than it would have taken to do the darn homework!


LOL My son did this, too, in middle school (especially 5th grade). I would just work in the kitchen and let him blow off the steam. Sometimes I would point out what Ruby just said ("you know, if you had just done your homework instead of wasting all this time complaining about it, you'd be finished an hour ago and outdoors playing already!"). I only remember a few occasions when he did it but it was remarkable to me...the entire episode of wasted energy!

 

I always explained to Patrick that I felt his schoolwork was his main job. I didn't pile on alot of chores (he did have some- just not a ton.) His "payment" was free time, computer time, video game time etc. He was also told that if he couldn't do his main job well that his "pay" would be docked...and he would have more ancillary jobs...and this would continue until the grades came up. There were a few occasions that this lasted for complete quarters...there was even one where it went through the summer and until the end of the first quarter of the next school year...now that he is a senior and filling out college apps...he is really greatful that I was such a pain in the tush.

 

QUOTE(4EverHis @ Oct 19 2007, 08:49 AM) [snapback]457733[/snapback]
who are content with their grades but are capable of SO much more? I am not even asking for straight A's even though he is quite capable. I am drawing the line at C's though. He can do better. He states that he shouldn't/can't study after school hours. His philosophy is that once he is done with school he shouldn't have to open a book. Oh...unless it is way past bedtime and he thinks it is ok to study then. Which we all know that you are not going to retain all that much when you are exhausted and only use that as your study time, kwim? He is in 9th grade and has never had to study a thing and it is catching up to him. Which is something I have said when I saw this happening in elementary school.

Does it click in? Do they figure it out on their own? I am considering tutoring even though I know he knows how but not sure what else it can be? Maybe he doesn't know how to study but he still needs to put in some time besides being in school.


My boys are 16 Nov,(Juniors), we draw the line at Cs on report cards. They are not great students, though they are great kids.
Our challenge is to keep them busy. We encouraged Judo/Juditso and before this we didn't see any interest in anything else but hanging out with friends and that had to change. Now they are winning medals and showing some excitement. They are not going to be A students, but there is alot more to life than that. It is important that they advance with good memories and self worth. What I wanted or expected is only a small part of the picture, now that they are becoming young men. Oh yea, one just got a job and the other one is trying.
God Bless

QUOTE(Bobof2boys @ Nov 20 2007, 10:32 PM) [snapback]504307[/snapback]
My boys are 16 Nov,(Juniors), we draw the line at Cs on report cards. They are not great students, though they are great kids.
Our challenge is to keep them busy. We encouraged Judo/Juditso and before this we didn't see any interest in anything else but hanging out with friends and that had to change. Now they are winning medals and showing some excitement. They are not going to be A students, but there is alot more to life than that. It is important that they advance with good memories and self worth. What I wanted or expected is only a small part of the picture, now that they are becoming young men. Oh yea, one just got a job and the other one is trying.
God Bless