Are you ever sad that you had twins?

Lately, I've been feeling a little sad and a little jealous of those with just one baby/toddler/child. I hear about how they're going to the zoo, out for shopping trips, enrolling in toddler classes, etc. It just sounds like they're having a blast being able to do all these things that I can't manage with two toddlers. (I know some areas allow twins in "mommy and me" type classes, but around here, they all require one adult per child.)

Anyhow, just wondering if any other twin mommies also feel a little sad and jealous of mommies with just one.

 

I did when the boys were little and going through that fussy from 6-9pm time, but not really since. I take the boys out EVERY day. We've been to 4 parks in 4 days this week. It IS possible! Even if I just wander through Target, it gets us all out of the house and gives us a change of scenery. If you haven't been taking them out much, start. It gets easier and easier every time you do it. You develop a routine. I can actually get the kids out of the car and into the stroller faster by myself than if DH helps. I don't belong to Gymboree or anything, but our library has a baby storytime 0-2 and the boys love it. It's designed for kids to walk around and sing and have books read to them (even if they aren't listening all the time). You could start with something like that. I found a great group of moms on meetup.com. They are mostly singletons (one set of 3yr old twins) but are always helpful when we go to parks and places where I need an extra hand.

 

I did BIG time when they were younger. I had three friends who had kids within a few months of mine- and they were out and about doing all kinds of stuff that I woud never have dreamed of trying with two. Now though- I really don't. Yes, things are more difficult, and I often don't get out of the house as much as friends with singletons- but there are so many positive things they don't have (built in playmates, double the love, all the amazing things that come with twins) that I am just eternally grateful for them and am pushing myself to do more so I don't get so "stuck" at home. Hugs-

 

I don't... I realize that I probably won't be able to do a lot of things that most moms do... going out for lunch is just impossible with two, and just going to the doctor is awful... but my kids entertain each other already and that's really huge. So yes, I have those moments too when I wish I could do more and I'm not too sure what we're going to do this Summer to be honest... but for most things I'm really glad we have twins.

But I realize that it's probably just going to be harder and harder, so ask me again in 10 months...

 

No.

Not at all.

I have found that the people who have issues with handling twins, don't have older children. One is really NOT that different than two. Seriously, how long does it take to bathe a baby and put it to bed??? Double it because you have two... and quit whining. It can be done (and the twins loved and happy) in less than 10 minutes. Seriously, how hard do you think you need to scrub??? We wash what hair we have, scrub and "BAM - DONE"

We go out, it takes 3.5 extra seconds to grab the other baby and put them in the stroller ( we've outgrown baby seats)....

I can take my 4 year old out of his seat, put one twin in half of the stroller... go to the other side of the car... place the other twin in, buckle. AND DONE. Seriously, we often get applause!! I also have one more child.... big, but cumbersome (he's annoyed at me right now... weighing in at 185...).

We eat out, at lunch, ofte
n. Nordstromes. yummy!

Your limitations are your own.

 

QUOTE(MamaD @ Mar 19 2009, 06:28 PM) [snapback]1235856[/snapback]
No.

Not at all.

I have found that the people who have issues with handling twins, don't have older children. One is really NOT that different than two. Seriously, how long does it take to bathe a baby and put it to bed??? Double it because you have two... and quit whining. It can be done (and the twins loved and happy) in less than 10 minutes. Seriously, how hard do you think you need to scrub??? We wash what hair we have, scrub and "BAM - DONE"

We go out, it takes 3.5 extra seconds to grab the other baby and put them in the stroller ( we've outgrown baby seats)....

I can take my 4 year old out of his seat, put one twin in half of the stroller... go to the other side of the car... place the other twin in, buckle. AND DONE. Seriously, we often get applause!! I also have one more child.... big, but cumbersome (he's annoyed at me right now... weighing in at 185...).

We eat out, at lunch, ofte
n. Nordstromes. yummy!

Your limitations are your own.



Wow -- I found your response interesting, because I've had a totally different experience. I also have an older child, and it was *much* easier to deal with just one baby at a time.

I'm not sad at all about having twins, but honestly, I think I might have been if I didn't already experience having a singleton. It's a very different feeling to be able to devote all your time and attention to one child, especially in babyhood. And logistically, it's just a lot simpler.

To the OP -- I think your feelings are normal! But, I agree with the PP who said that you just have to suck it up and get out of the house, as best as you can. (That said, I took all three of mine to the zoo this morning, and I wish I had left K&K at home and just taken Nadia -- it wasn't fun at all.)

 

i agree that your feelings are perfectly normal and it's important to validate that, especially here.

i have often felt "limited" by having 2 babies myself, especially as far as getting out and about as quickly as i used to prior to their arrival. but i definitely think that the pros outweigh the cons on this one. it's just a short while before they can run out to the car and hop in and out by themselves, and we certainly get to enjoy other things twice as much as those with just 1 baby (2 sets of first smiles, teeth, steps, all those milestones--and double the hugs and kisses and i love you's before bed)

it all balances it out, but i think we all have our moments

 

I kind of agree too! I think that it is really difficult to take them both out places and I am usually frustrated and tired by the time we are getting ready to leave. But what I have also realized in the passed few months is that my kids were probably acting up in the store because I never took them (I always tried to go when DH was home with them). They weren't used to being in stores or restaurants. The more I take them out now, the better it has become. I am just hoping 3's are easier than 2's!

 

QUOTE(MamaD @ Mar 19 2009, 05:28 PM) [snapback]1235856[/snapback]
No.

Not at all.

I have found that the people who have issues with handling twins, don't have older children. One is really NOT that different than two. Seriously, how long does it take to bathe a baby and put it to bed??? Double it because you have two... and quit whining. It can be done (and the twins loved and happy) in less than 10 minutes. Seriously, how hard do you think you need to scrub??? We wash what hair we have, scrub and "BAM - DONE"

We go out, it takes 3.5 extra seconds to grab the other baby and put them in the stroller ( we've outgrown baby seats)....

I can take my 4 year old out of his seat, put one twin in half of the stroller... go to the other side of the car... place the other twin in, buckle. AND DONE. Seriously, we often get applause!! I also have one more child.... big, but cumbersome (he's annoyed at me right now... weighing in at 185...).

We eat out, at lunch, ofte
n. Nordstromes. yummy!

Your limitations are your own.



I found your response interesting, too. I have an older DS as well as 14 month old twins - and in my experience, having one baby is MUCH different than having two. Sure, it only takes an extra 10 minutes to bathe the second baby. But you are doubling things all day long. Diaper changes, clothing changes, bedtime routine, meals, laundry, etc. I don't see it as people whining when they are struggling with twins. It can be very overwhelming sometimes. But, hey, maybe that's just me....

To the OP, I never felt sad - but maybe that is because I did get to experience a singleton, too. I think your feelings are totally normal! It can be overwhelming to get out and about. But it really does get easier the more you do it. I won't pretend that you won't have some days that you'll come home and wonder why the heck you even messed with going anywhere - but you'll notice each time that it gets a bit easier! Hang in there and start trying various outings - just bring sippy cups and snacks (they seem to work like magic sometimes!). :hug:

 

I have in the past. Like those days when they are BOTH crying and fussy and you're tired .. you cant help think about what it would have been like if you had just one to deal with. I have older children and I have to say taking care of them was nothing compared to taking care of these guys.

 

Let me first say I LOVE having twins and wouldn't change it for the world! But I do think it is a different experience than having one - especially when they are your first. Yes, there are many, many things you can do with twins and I do recommend getting out as much as you can but I think it's unfair to say that your only limitations are your own. There were several events in my mom & baby group that I could not attend because I had twins and everyone else had one baby - swimming lessons, a hike where strollers couldn't go and everyone wore their babes in backpacks, a trip to the pumpkin patch where strollers couldn't be used because a hay ride took you to the patch, etc. Even after our weekly walks the other moms would go to Starbucks and sit and drink coffee while bouncing their babies on their knees or while nursing their one baby. I couldn't bounce both babies on my knees while enjoying a drink - one needed to stay in the stroller and would end up melting down. Or they'd both be hungry at the same time and I wasn't going to strip down and tandem nurse them in the middle of Starbucks (ok, maybe this was my own limitation, but it is NOT the same experience). I did go, but I often had to leave early, it wasn't the relaxing experience for me that it seemed to be for the other mothers.

But as the kids get older it gets easier and a lot of the moms from my mom and baby group have either had their second or are expecting their second and the activities they choose tend to reflect this so the experience is becoming much more similar.

I have taken out just one of my kids at a time and it is MUCH easier. No need for strollers - you can carry them. Lots of personal attention. Only one kid to follow around. I have also taken out 3 kids (I watch my infant nephew) and I think for me, the difference between taking one and two out is greater than the difference between taking 2 and 3. If I'm taking two I'm using a stroller so getting a third in and out isn't a big leap. Maybe that is why pp has found us first time parents feel the difference more. We got pg expecting to have the typical first timer experience of lots of one-on-one time and doing all the classes, etc. Parents who already have kids have had that opportunity and know going in to the pregnancy that they will not be able to do everything with a second (and third!) that they could with their first.

OP, I think your feelings are normal. If you can find another twin mom or a mom who has two young kids to hang out with, you might really enjoy it!

 

Alot of times I feel jealous of women who have 1 baby about my girls age and are now pregnant with their 2nd. I feel like if I only had 1 right now I could be pregnant again right now, too, but b/c I had two at once I only get 1 more pregnancy and that is pushing it.

 

i have never been sad for even one second. i think ttc for years (w/much grief) will do that to you.

i also agree w/those who say it's possible to take your kids out all the time! i do. we go everywhere. true, i do have help sometimes (my mom meets me for gymboree and most doc appts, mil meets me at our mommy and me class and will come over to watch them if dh is outta town and i need a break). but, other than that, i take them on a walk every day, we go to the library, visit friends, have lunch out all the time (i LOVE not having to pick up after them and no--they are not easy at all! they both hate being strapped in and they make a huge mess), i take them shopping (everyone at our whole foods knows them!) and anywhere else that i have to go.... yes, it's hard sometimes and yes, there are places we just can't go to (the park, at this point) but the benefits outweigh the limits in so many ways.

i know it's hard but think of all the way that you are lucky to have two that can entertain each other!

take care, jl

 

I've been going out with my boys alone since they were a week old. That's when I was alone with them, only getting help when my husband was home from work. I refused to be stuck inside just because I had two. And, as they get older, getting out is easier...but harder in the fact that tantrums are a little more embarrassing now .

That being said, I know exactly how you feel (op). I have SO many friends with singletons who are in all sorts of activities that I cannot be in. A lot of my friends are now having their 2nd & I also know I would be at that point if I had only had 1 the first time around (or hopefully anyway, I did struggle ttc). Dealing with 2 toddlers all day has left me little desire to get pregnant right now & I do mourn that (I think the thought of a second set of twins has me more scared!). I also think it depends on your children. My DS Aiden is a great toddler...if I had 2 of him, my life would be a LOT easier. My DS Conner is a challenge. He pushes buttons & tests limits ALL DAY LONG. Getting out & about with him is extremely challenging, especially when Aiden begins to mimic him & I have 2 troublesome toddlers ! I hope as my boys age our opportunities will grow. I love my boys with my whole heart & LOVE how they entertain each other, but there isn't a single day where SOMETHING doesn't come up to make me wonder what it'd be like to only have 1. I know my duo have a special bond that no one could ever break, but I often wonder if they wish there was only one of them . I have twin brothers who said they wish they hadn't been twins & my mom has numerous times mentioned that she wished they hadn't been twins.

So, while I do cherish every special 'twin' moment & experience, and while I have learned to adapt to having 2 at once for daily routines & getting out and about, I do get sad at times that I had twins & not just one. And, perhaps that's selfish of me, but I'll be brave & admit it . It seems like everyone here LOVES having twins ALL THE TIME, so I think it's nice to see/hear someone else mention wishing they had a singleton over twins every once in a while....

 

HI,
I wouldn't say I feel sad but, it's frustrating at times when I'm by myself and trying to go out and do things with the two of them.
They are both running in different directions and at times I feel overwhelmed. I know I couldn't wait for them to get older because everyone said it would get easier but, I think with each age comes different challanges.
After 10 years of infertility I couldn't be more happy to have been blessed with twins

 

what makes me sad is when other people don't understand that i can't do everything with my two (when i'm alone) that they can do with their one (or their none hehe)

 

I am never sad that I had twins. I can't imagine it any other way. However-I do understand what you say. I too wish I could do all those things-on my own. We can't do music classes unless there are two people. Same thing for gym classes, swim classes, etc. And my mom works, as well as his mom-so they wouldn't be an option.

I sometimes wish I had a nanny who I could take along with me! I feel guilty that we don't go running around the park when it's just me. Or even in the backyard(big yard, no fence). I feel like they are missing out. That's why on the weekends, I always try to do those things with dh around-we go to the park, museums, outside, etc.

My boys run in opposite directions. And they are now testing the waters. I am not about to bring them to a park myself! :lol: Not to mention being six months pregnant! But I agree with others-trips to the mall, Target, walks at the park, etc... definitely do those. They are lifesavers. I try to take the boys somewhere at least twice a week. Keeps me sane!

The way I look at it-I didn't grow up in gym classes, music classes, swim classes(with my parents) and I turned out OK!

 

QUOTE(MamaD @ Mar 19 2009, 05:28 PM) [snapback]1235856[/snapback]
No.

Not at all.

I have found that the people who have issues with handling twins, don't have older children. One is really NOT that different than two. Seriously, how long does it take to bathe a baby and put it to bed??? Double it because you have two... and quit whining. It can be done (and the twins loved and happy) in less than 10 minutes. Seriously, how hard do you think you need to scrub??? We wash what hair we have, scrub and "BAM - DONE"

We go out, it takes 3.5 extra seconds to grab the other baby and put them in the stroller ( we've outgrown baby seats)....

I can take my 4 year old out of his seat, put one twin in half of the stroller... go to the other side of the car... place the other twin in, buckle. AND DONE. Seriously, we often get applause!! I also have one more child.... big, but cumbersome (he's annoyed at me right now... weighing in at 185...).

We eat out, at lunch, ofte
n. Nordstromes. yummy!

Your limitations are your own.


This was a little (well more like very harsh) and uncalled for imo.


Jessie, I had a hard time when my boys were your kids age. It got so much easier to take them places once they were closer to two. :hug:

 

I don't know if "sad" completely describes how I've felt at times but know what you're talking about. I love my girls to no end and am happy I have them, wouldn't trade them for anything. My sister had a baby a couple months after mine were born (our due dates were actually only 3 days apart). When she was younger she was always talking about running to the store and going a million places and I was a bit jealous I wasn't do all of that. (I also had preemies and kept them out of public areas for awhile...)
BUT once I finally started going places on my own, it got easier and easier. I wouldn't be able to do classes on my own and sometimes it's a pain having to get the stroller out every time I go somewhere but I've learned to deal. I have wondered sometimes what it would be like to just have one when I hear friends talk about their babies. But I'm happy finding ways to deal with getting the girls around myself. Once you start doing things alone it's easier. I don't think you should feel bad for having these feelings, it can be a hard job. :hugs:

 

Thing will get WAY easier within a few months. Until a month or so ago I felt I'd never been able to anything alone with my boys but just lately it has suddenly become manageable. We're going to drop-in centres, indoor playgrounds, etc. and it's going well! Don't dispair - it's only a matter of time.

 

I really felt almost cheated because i had twins. I mean don't get me wrong I love my girls to death and I love having twins but when it comes to certain things it would be A LOT easier with just one baby. For example my girls were born at 30 wks, so they didn't come home right away, I didn't get to be awake for my c-section, I didn't get to experience labor, I was stuck at home for 3 months after they came home, and they are a little behind with their learning. And with all of the stress of having them sick for so long and with a little post pardom in there I hardly remember anything that hasn't just recently happened. But then I have days where I love having twins not everyone has them and if ones in a crabby mood the other is happy ( most of the time). And its great when you hear the mothers of singles complaining that they can't handle something and you just think "trying doing it with two".

 

I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I don't think "sad" is the right word for me. I do sometimes wonder how different life would be if things had worked out differently and we had had just one. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death and count my blessings every day that we do have two, because now that they are here I can't imagine my life any other way.

I take them out all the time. And as others have said, the more you do it the easier it gets. On the weekends sometimes I just take one, and it is day and night different. And I love being able to have one on one time with them. But I take them out together, too. Would it be easier if there was just one? Sometimes. But it is absolutely doable.

I know what you mean about classes though. I want to sign the kids up for a swim class, but they require an adult for every child. So, I am not sure how we will manage it, but where there is a will, there is a way.

 

QUOTE(JessiePlus2 @ Mar 19 2009, 05:38 PM) [snapback]1235795[/snapback]
Lately, I've been feeling a little sad and a little jealous of those with just one baby/toddler/child. I hear about how they're going to the zoo, out for shopping trips, enrolling in toddler classes, etc. It just sounds like they're having a blast being able to do all these things that I can't manage with two toddlers. (I know some areas allow twins in "mommy and me" type classes, but around here, they all require one adult per child.)

Anyhow, just wondering if any other twin mommies also feel a little sad and jealous of mommies with just one.


I hear ya ... DH and I were just talking about that. There are upsides and downsides to having twins. I LOVE having them. If I could change it, I wouldn't. As I'm sure most of us wouldn't. BUT ... that doesn't mean there aren't days when I think "Wow, one would be SO much easier." Especially with 2 almost two year olds that like to beat the crap out of each other, always yell no, and don't listen to a word I say!

Everything you are feeling is completely normal. Just start practicing getting out with the two of them. Yes, the classes are harder, because if you are required to have one adult per child, you are kinda screwed. But with the double stroller, go to the park! Go to the zoo! Go shopping! You can do all that, I promise!

Hang in there momma!

 

I haven't read all the responses because I dont have time but my answer is 'yes and often'. I always pictured myself doting on my baby. My ONE BABY. lol. I love my children - my twins - but I know it would have been easier on me to have one at a time. I get out almost every day, my twins are used to shopping.
Just a quick story - I was at the supermarket the other day, two kids in the trolley (cart) and loading it up with food. The kids are eating the grapes and a lady says - are they twins and I say yes and she said - oh I have twins and I never bring them out alone. I said I have no choice - yours are so good (yeah today.lol)
she was pg and had had B/G twins like mine If I didn't take my twins out I would never go anywhere.
As for classes and things, it's a pain but what can you do.....? I take my 2 to the pool sometimes, when it's reaally hot. I am often overwhelmed and run off my feet but it keeps me thin and looking good. LOL.
Most of us have gone through this at one stage or another - you are not alone. Just dont dwell on it too much - you might miss something good

 

I love love love having twins but have felt discouraged MANY many days.

I don't probably do as much as I should or could with them, but I do what I am comfortable with & take 'baby steps' on some of the things that are more difficult for me to do with the 2 of them.

I think once mine are walking better it will be more fun for them & for me. They get bored being in their stroller for too long when we go out shopping!

My best friend has a daugter that is only 2 months younger than my girls & I find myself envious of her is so many ways and all of the things she and her husband do BUT on the flipside she is VERY envious of the twins. She did IVF & would have loved to have had twins - she doesn't want to go through another pregnancy so she has had to deal with being happy with just 1.

I guess sometimes the grass can always seem greener :hug:

 

Nope.
I've NEVER been sad that I have twins.
I know that I am blessed. And if I could have more children, I'd love to have twins again.
I'm sure having one baby is easier than caring for two at once, but since these are my first and only children, I have nothing to compare it to.
So you just do it.
I have no help as DH works and my parents are elderly. So I take my kids to toddler classes, etc. on my own and am enjoying every moment. They grow up so quickly and I realize that before I know it, I'll be looking back on these days as only a memory.

Like a PP said, after MANY miserable horrible years of loss due to infertility, I am proud and glad I was blessed with two babies at once.
We knew this would be our only child/pregnancy with our surrogate, so we are thrilled to have two children and that our kids have a sibling.
Maybe the years of sadness has helped subdue any chaos that life with twins brings, and has given me a greater appreciation.

 

I wouldn't really say I am sad that I have twins, but I am profoundly mourning the slowly emerging realization that I will not be able to have another baby (for many reasons-- adopted or biologically) and therefore will not be able to experience having a singleton as a baby. I would really LOVE to have that experience and although I love my boys and am eternally grateful for everything about them, I truly feel like I am missing out on the life experience of having a singleton. I believe it is absolutely possible to be thrilled to have twins, mindful of the uniquely challenging realities of having twins, and also feel sad that you don't/won't have a singleton. I think my situation, as a lesbian, ensures more than many others' situations that I will truly never have another child unless it is financially feasible and at this time neither pregnancy nor adoption is a financial possibility for us. My DP is quite a bit older than me, so by the time we can afford it, it probably won't be a reasonable endeavor.

:hug: I understand how you feel.

 

Nope, not at all even through the early months. It was certainly challenging and frustrating working on little sleep, but I wouldnt have traded it at all. They are certainly more work than when my DD was their age, but some days they are easier than she is. It's all about perspective IMO. We get out all the time. We go to Disney, Sea World, the mall, you name it. I even take all 3 out to lunch by myself quite a bit and a dinner here or there. Take a risk and do something outside your comfort zone, it just might pay off that you find that you can handle more than you think you can.

 

QUOTE(JessiePlus2 @ Mar 19 2009, 09:38 PM) [snapback]1235795[/snapback]
Lately, I've been feeling a little sad and a little jealous of those with just one baby/toddler/child. I hear about how they're going to the zoo, out for shopping trips, enrolling in toddler classes, etc. It just sounds like they're having a blast being able to do all these things that I can't manage with two toddlers. (I know some areas allow twins in "mommy and me" type classes, but around here, they all require one adult per child.)

Anyhow, just wondering if any other twin mommies also feel a little sad and jealous of mommies with just one.

I did, often, until my kids were about 2 years old. And I also dealt with infertility and miscarriage, and struggled very hard to have kids at all. So I felt guilty about that too, but fortunately I had a lot of support and people telling me it was OK to have mixed feelings.

What cured me was when my friends (many of whom had singletons around the same time my twins were born) started having their second children. Just as my kids were getting easier and more fun, and we could get out and do things, my friends were trying to juggle a toddler and a newborn! That's when I realized that part of what makes twins hard is just having two kids. I felt a lot less isolated once everyone else had two too.

As they get older, there are also a lot more advantages to having them be the same age -- the built-in playmate, similar activities, the same class at preschool, etc. Plus, I am not a baby person, so although that stage was HARD and I know it would have been easier with just one, at this point I'm really grateful I don't have to do it all again.

 

QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Mar 19 2009, 06:35 PM) [snapback]1235951[/snapback]
Alot of times I feel jealous of women who have 1 baby about my girls age and are now pregnant with their 2nd. I feel like if I only had 1 right now I could be pregnant again right now, too, but b/c I had two at once I only get 1 more pregnancy and that is pushing it.


ITA! I have the baby bug BAD right now but financially/logistically/etc. etc. it just doesn't make sense to try for another baby so soon, I get jealous of my singleton mommy friends who are pg or ttc #2.

That said I am not sad that I have twins, yes its harder to get out and do things and our activities are a bit limited but watching them love on each other and stand up for each other makes it all worth it to me. There are pros and cons to it all and I try not to get trapped into the 'grass is always greener' stuff.

 

QUOTE(MamaD @ Mar 19 2009, 05:28 PM) [snapback]1235856[/snapback]
No.

Not at all.

I have found that the people who have issues with handling twins, don't have older children. One is really NOT that different than two. Seriously, how long does it take to bathe a baby and put it to bed??? Double it because you have two... and quit whining. It can be done (and the twins loved and happy) in less than 10 minutes. Seriously, how hard do you think you need to scrub??? We wash what hair we have, scrub and "BAM - DONE"

We go out, it takes 3.5 extra seconds to grab the other baby and put them in the stroller ( we've outgrown baby seats)....

I can take my 4 year old out of his seat, put one twin in half of the stroller... go to the other side of the car... place the other twin in, buckle. AND DONE. Seriously, we often get applause!! I also have one more child.... big, but cumbersome (he's annoyed at me right now... weighing in at 185...).

We eat out, at lunch, ofte
n. Nordstromes. yummy!

Your limitations are your own.



Harsh much? Maybe to you two isn't that different than one, but just because someone is feeling overwhelmed doesn't mean they are whining. Maybe a little support would have been nice.



To the OP:
Because DH works crazy weird hours, I'm often with the kids alone. We haven't been able to do a lot of the different activities because of the need for two adults (one for each child) and the extra cost of having two vs. one. I do wish we could do more of the toddler classes and activities, so I understand what you mean about that.

I also miss having the experience of having one baby need me at a time. I sometimes feel like I don't get to spend as much one-on-one time as I'd like with each baby. Since these will be my only children, I'm disappointed that I won't get know what it's like with just one.


Overall, I love having twins though. It's so fun to watch them together, especially as they are getting older. Some days are hard, some are really hard, but most days I just can't imagine it any other way.

 

I don't know if I have been sad, but I have OFTEN thought about what it would be like to just have one. I always say that I want both of my kids, I just wish they were born 3-4 years apart. I really feel awful when I have to choose one over the other when they both have pee pee diapers, or they are hungry, etc. We do get out often, but not just the three of us. We get out when hubby gets home from work. It is so much easier to go with him, where he is helping me out. We go to the newborn - 5 year old evening story time at 6:30, it is interactive, and they sing songs, and read books, and play. We go to the grocery store together, out to eat sometimes... to the mall to walk around. Just to get out of the house. On weekends we go to the park, to the zoo, and so forth. I do wish I got to experience the singleton, but it just isn't so, and there is nothing I can dwell on. I just want you to know that your feelings are normal. ((HUGS))

 

QUOTE(MamaD @ Mar 19 2009, 06:28 PM) [snapback]1235856[/snapback]
No.

Not at all.

I have found that the people who have issues with handling twins, don't have older children. One is really NOT that different than two. Seriously, how long does it take to bathe a baby and put it to bed??? Double it because you have two... and quit whining. It can be done (and the twins loved and happy) in less than 10 minutes. Seriously, how hard do you think you need to scrub??? We wash what hair we have, scrub and "BAM - DONE"

We go out, it takes 3.5 extra seconds to grab the other baby and put them in the stroller ( we've outgrown baby seats)....

I can take my 4 year old out of his seat, put one twin in half of the stroller... go to the other side of the car... place the other twin in, buckle. AND DONE. Seriously, we often get applause!! I also have one more child.... big, but cumbersome (he's annoyed at me right now... weighing in at 185...).

We eat out, at lunch, ofte
n. Nordstromes. yummy!

Your limitations are your own.


All i can say is WOW! I think that this really takes away from all the hard work mothers of twins do. I can't count the number of times mothers of singletons have said to me "I really don't know how you do this with 2!". They can't imagine having to do double the BATHS, feedings, loading, unloading, night wakings, diapers, chasing 2 toddlers around all day...(the list goes on and on and on!) I love it when people acknowledge me for the hard work I do, and can't imagine why in the world a mother of twins herself would take it all away from someone having a bad moment.

I will also add that I do have times when I'm jealous of the moms walking around with their 1 baby. I think of how easy they have it (compaired to ME), and hate it when my friends go to the museum, or out to eat and I can't go by myself b/c I can't deal with 2 babies, and not feeling bad for holding one and not the other.There will be days like that and others when you think how lucky you are that your kids always have someone to play with (not just you), and when you can't imgine having just one of them b/c that would be weird.

It does get easier or it just become normal. I go pretty much everywhere with the boys now, and if it's not working we just leave.

I would really recomend looking for a mommies group if you can. I have a great group of friends from mine who help me out a lot when we go out!!!! It's nice to have the SUPPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck...

 

I wouldn't use the word sad, but I would definitely say that I've been overwhelmed way more often with my twins than with my single babies. The twins sure put my singles into perspective. I'm actually very excited to be having one this time around for this very reason. I'm sorry it's been so hard on you not being able to get out. I don't get out much either, I personally couldn't do 4 by myself (those are the ones home during the day) and be pregnant also. Hang in there it will get easier.

 

Definitely still have occasional moments of "singleton envy". But as others have mentioned they do get less and less the older the girls get and the better we get at getting out and about.

My main time i feel it now is the 'classes' issue: one parent/child ratio. I feel like the girls are missing out. But that's probably because everyone around me has done the one at a time routine and sign their kiddo up for them. Oh well! Found a couple of siblings classes around but most are the one to one ratio and that's hard to find someone to do with on a consistent basis. So I do just look for other things for us to do and eventually they'll be able to do classes on their own

Hang in there!