arghh, angry pregnant woman rant

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by haleystar, May 18, 2009.

  1. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    so i had my lovely and wonderful baby shower yesterday, it was filled with good times, good food and good people.....but bad gifts. yeah i know that sounds REALLY ungrateful but we only got a couple useful things, a bath and a swing. everything else was....wait for it.....matching outfits! yeah, all the stuff we've already got stock piled from hand me downs and our own purchases. and every outfit was matching....i hate that, my twins are not fraternal they are identical, different outfits will be essential for me (at least) to tell them a part!

    so yeah, as far as the gifts are concerned i was dissapointed, i'm not gonna lie. i've got receipts so i'm going to try and take things back and exchange for things we really need, like maybe some bottles and pacifiers? unfortunately a lot of the clothing was purchased at clothing only stores so i'll just take back the matching outfit and exchange it for something else.

    go ahead and say i'm being ungrateful and what not...i just needed to rant. i know i can't expect everyone to read my mind and get us what we need but it's like they didn't even look at our registry....just leaves more for us to do in a short amount of time....and we need all the big stuff, car seats and strollers.

    i've been on freecycle in our area but they rarely give away baby items that aren't clothing related and i've been monitoring it for a couple of months. we are on the ebay road now, and hoping that a lot of the exchange for store credits can be done at target where we got some gift cards.

    but don't get me wrong, no one had to bring anything. i'm very fortunate and lucky to have gotten anything at all.

    i'm done.
     
  2. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    Just put the outfits on at different times. No big deal.
     
  3. faerieprncs

    faerieprncs Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about this. I know how you must feel...we didn't need much in the way of big stuff because we had it from DS and people were good about going to our registry, but I had this happen to a friend. She left her shower feeling like she still needed EVERYTHING (except clothes!)...and of course you don't want to sound like an ingrate...but it's still hard. :)

    Try taking back what you can (but remember that without a receipt, Target won't take it back...even for store credit!!!)...and just have the boys wear the outfits on different days for the stuff you are stuck with. Have you tried consignment stores? We have one in town that has GREAT stuff for GREAT prices. Or, try craiglist! I love Craig!!!
     
  4. tamaras

    tamaras Well-Known Member

    I don't think you are ungratful, I think you are pregnant & crabby :lol: :laughing:
    It is easy to let things like that bother you & I remember all too well the rush to get all the neccesities before the babies came.
    Keep doing what you are doing with freecycle and try craigslist and ebay as well :good:

    I think that people (guests) at baby showers are just so excited to buy all the cute little clothes - I know I was the same way before I had kids! Now there is no way I would do that!! I am all about the essentials!!

    Hang in there momma & it will work out ~
     
  5. flygirlcdh

    flygirlcdh Well-Known Member

    O I am in the same boat as you. I got a car seat and double stroller. They specifically asked me what I wanted, and the only ones who bought off my registry. And they came from my grandma and Aunt. The rest... You guessed matching outfits. And to top it off nothing over premie or newborn. Why is it people see twins in the same outfit and really tiny. The doctor told me my babies were going to be at least 7 1/2 pounds at 38 weeks. So were the premie for a week and newborn for two. And I already have a 2 year old son that recieved so many small clothes he never even wore them all. But unlike you, I did not get any gift receipts. O I'm sorry I did for the stroller and car seat. The two I won't be returning.

    I told my in laws about this (not complaining just telling them just how many clothes we have) and they got mad that we didn't want anymore clothes for the babies. I have 5 drawers full of premie, newborn and 0-3 month clothes. But I'm being selfish asking that "if" they get us anything please don't get clothes. And if they are set on it at least nothing under 6 months. And they were still mad about it. And are not being considerate at all. They haven't got us anything (DH's aunts grandparents and so on) even though they keep asking what we need and blah blah. But haven't gotten anything. My baby shower was at 24 weeks. And I asked them when they said something about getting us stuff please do it by 30 weeks 32 at the latest so I'm not shopping really pregnant or trying to set up the nursery really pregnant. Still nothing. My MIL (whom DH and I have told this to numerous times each) said last weekend "o we might come see you again before you have the babies so we will bring presents then. But get this my SIL who is 25 weeks with one baby has already got all her gifts from them. I finaly gave up and went and bought everything I need.

    Good luck and hope you get usful gifts from other people. I sure haven't.

    Sorry I kinda needed to rant too...
     
  6. sparkle77

    sparkle77 Well-Known Member

    I dont know -- I learned from my wedding that people tend to give crappy gifts so I dont really expect good gifts. Honestly, we just plan to purchase all our big items (strollers, carseats, etc.) and anything more will be a bonus. Unless you have really good parents and inlaws, or friends/co-workers who pool their cash to buy big things, I didnt really think that most people necessarily get their big stuff from registries anyway (but I could be wrong). Plus, I think that people really love to buy babies cutesy clothes (practical stuff is no fun). I dont think they can help themselves. I agree with the PP, just wear the clothes on different days.
     
  7. caba

    caba Banned

    I agree, believe it or not. That sucks. Don't people get why you set up a registry? Do people really not remember how many things you need for babies, so many of them beyond clothes? I get that people love buying clothes for babies, I'm guilty of that as much as the next person! Which is why I usually buy people a useful practical gift, and then a cute outfit as well, because well, I can't resist baby clothes!

    But new parents with twins on the way?? I'm sorry. I got 90% of what I needed at my shower ... and what I didn't get, I returned a bunch of clothes (bought at Babies R Us) and got stuff I did need ... like diapers.

    Sure, the truth of the matter is, you can't depend on others to get you what you need when it comes to your family and your babies. But it does kinda suck that people did chose to spend money, just on stuff that's not really going to help!
     
  8. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    thanks for not beating me up. i was afraid that by posting my "rant" i would get scolded for being an ungrateful brat.

    as for craigslist, that's cash only and we are very limited on cash purchases so it's all about the credit cards, store credit and gift cards which is why ebay is the road we are putting the most effort into.

    it just feels like the world is hitting us and knocking us over. our mortgage just went up because of an escrow shortage, it never seems like we can pay the bills, i can't work (at least for a little bit after the babies are born) and even if i could there aren't any jobs. so we are stuck. trying to get the banks to help us out like they have so many million other people with this "mortgage bail out plan" but since we are current on all our bills we aren't priority...ugh!

    sooo we are doing what we can where we can. i just people would have been smarter and said, "hey the kids gotta eat, why not get them some bottles for 8 bucks instead of this newborn onesie that they probably already have a ton of", you know?

    i swear my boys have nothing but onesies in newborn sizes, no real outfits per say.

    and i got a scrapbooking kit.....how is that helpful?

    i know i know, be thankful....it's just hard when it just feels like nothing ever is easy for you and the possiblity of me going on bedrest is increasing by the day (we'll find out in a few hours) so if that's the case it's going to make this even harder for us to get things for the twins before they arrive.

    it's just unneeded stress......
     
  9. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(sparkle77 @ May 18 2009, 12:33 PM) [snapback]1318119[/snapback]
    I dont know -- I learned from my wedding that people tend to give crappy gifts so I dont really expect good gifts. Honestly, we just plan to purchase all our big items (strollers, carseats, etc.) and anything more will be a bonus. Unless you have really good parents and inlaws, or friends/co-workers who pool their cash to buy big things, I didnt really think that most people necessarily get their big stuff from registries anyway (but I could be wrong). Plus, I think that people really love to buy babies cutesy clothes (practical stuff is no fun). I dont think they can help themselves. I agree with the PP, just wear the clothes on different days.


    actually at our wedding shower we got over 2,000 bucks! people were WAY more generous and smarter with their purchases/gifts and we didn't even have that many people, under 70.

    nope the shower for the twins was nothing but identical onesies and all in newborn sizes. i think we got one package of burp clothes and a couple of towels. and i don't really mean "big" gifts" but i mean, bottles are cheap and pacifiers aren't expensive either and babies need those like no tomorrow. i just thought everyone would have been a little more practical....i was WAY off.
     
  10. meganguttman

    meganguttman Well-Known Member

    What a bummer! I hope you are able to return enough to get a few big items. I've found www.freepeats.com helpful too. What about Craigslist? That's where I sell all of our baby stuff. Where in Florida are you?
     
  11. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mommymeg @ May 18 2009, 12:49 PM) [snapback]1318139[/snapback]
    What a bummer! I hope you are able to return enough to get a few big items. I've found www.freepeats.com helpful too. What about Craigslist? That's where I sell all of our baby stuff. Where in Florida are you?


    south of tampa in the retirement area :(
     
  12. sparkle77

    sparkle77 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(haleystar @ May 18 2009, 05:46 PM) [snapback]1318131[/snapback]
    actually at our wedding shower we got over 2,000 bucks! people were WAY more generous and smarter with their purchases/gifts and we didn't even have that many people, under 70.

    nope the shower for the twins was nothing but identical onesies and all in newborn sizes. i think we got one package of burp clothes and a couple of towels. and i don't really mean "big" gifts" but i mean, bottles are cheap and pacifiers aren't expensive either and babies need those like no tomorrow. i just thought everyone would have been a little more practical....i was WAY off.


    Our wedding was funny. We got LOADS of cash from my Italian in-laws. Like my MIL ponied up about 15k and each member of my husband's family gave us an average of about 1700 euros each. Even my husband's friends who all traveled from Italy at their expense to attend our wedding all literally reached into their pockets and handed me hundreds of euros each (which I thought was really sweet and touching). My American family on the other hand -- they didnt give us SHIZNIT. I was actually a bit embarrassed. I had a few close aunts and cousins who gave me the smaller items on my registry but my family turned out to be the biggest let down. Oh, the DUMBEST thing was that my matron of honor had all the girls pool their cash to buy me -- wait for it -- a PORTABLE STRIPPER POLE!!! This thing cost almost $300. There were so many problems with this, not the least of which being that I got married in Houston but I live in a small 2 bedroom flat in central London. Ummm, how's THAT gonna work out. That thing is still in the box in my mother's garage. People can be so stupid.

    I think its unfortunate but I just dont expect much these days. I always give because most of my relatives have less than me, but I also suppose thats part of the problem. I think its a perception thing -- if people thing you have then they are less willing to give. Personally I think thats unfortunate but I've noticed that no one really digs deep for me because they feel like I can afford it (which may or may not be true, but thats not really the point of giving, in my opinion). I'm so apathetic about it all that I'm probably not doing a registry. If I do, then it will be just so that I can complete it at a discount myself. If anyone asks, then I will tell them that we would like giftcards to Target and Babies R Us. Maybe it helps if you're really specific with people.
     
  13. MissyEby

    MissyEby Well-Known Member

    I had to return a bunch of stuff after my guys 1st bday (it is Dec 19 so right before Christmas) I took back the clothes and got them in bigger sizes...the stores were very good about it and let me do even exchanges even without reciepts. (The boys got 16 pairs of size 12 month jeans!) all very cute, but we just couldn't use 16 pairs here in Florida!


    I have always been taught to prepare for myself and my family but be very gracious for any gifts that we are given.


    We bought ALL of our big stuff ourselves (mostly off of Craigslist and Ebay) and left the little stuff for the shower...we got over 2500 diapers!

    Good luck! We are in Polk county...not too far from you!
     
  14. carrieco

    carrieco Well-Known Member

    I don't even think I'm going to get a baby shower. It's really upsetting. I threw the most wonderful baby shower for my used to be bff (she fell off the face of the earth after she had her baby). I created the most awesome games, gave out $20 gift cards for door prizes, and made it extra special by asking people to write letters to the baby and mail them to her before the shower. She had tons of people at her shower and got a TON of stuff like diapers, etc. Oh, and I helped give her an awesome bachelorette party, wedding shower, etc.

    Then came my wedding. She didn't come to the shower or the bachelorette party. No one came to my bachelorette party.... two people ... not exaggerating. Such a bust. Now people ask me about a baby shower and I say I doubt I will get one and they are afraid to say anything. I have no friends in the state that I currently live in. My husband does not understand how I feel. He thinks that even if we move back home my friends still won't have time for me. WHATEVER!

    Then I had another friend who got married years before I did, and I went to all of her parties and got great gifts for her (I'm a great gift giver). Then came my wedding, she didn't come to anything and didn't send any cards/gifts. Then I got an invite to her baby shower ... are you kidding me?! I still sent her a gift card and diaper and formula coupons.

    I never for one second thought that anyone would buy the big stuff for us, but a shower would be nice..... even if the people who attended were strangers!

    As far as getting gifts that I want goes ... if anyone does happen to ask me ... I'm going to ask for bum genious 3.0 diapers. Less than $30 is a fair gift price in my opinion.

    I think it's totally ok to rant about this stuff! These are the big things that some people get to have wonderful memories of, but not all of us.
     
  15. Momof2wonders

    Momof2wonders Well-Known Member

    [SIZE=12pt]Seriously, i am of a difeerent opinion than the rest here, I never had a baby shower. I would just be mortified, these are your babies, you and their father have to provide for them, if your friends want to make gifts then they can choose what to give. I cannot understand why you are so upset by this, you obviously have lovely people who care and went shopping for your babies! The essentials like bottles, pacis, strollers, cribs and everything really is your responsibilty as a parent. You do sound ungrateful and i do not sympathise, we have two children, i am a sahm and expect id boys any day now, we had to tighten things around but we got everything ourselves and would never have expected others to provide for our children, any gifts we receive is greatly appreciated. [/SIZE]
     
  16. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    QUOTE(Momof2wonders @ May 18 2009, 01:22 PM) [snapback]1318203[/snapback]
    , i am of a difeerent opinion than the rest here,


    Not different from everyone else, I agree with you. :)
     
  17. scorpion509

    scorpion509 Well-Known Member

    I will not bit you , but I would say
    base on my experience try to get what you want yourself and about clothes exchange them or sell them on ebay - or craigslist.

    We bought all big items ourself ( now we have another problems our relatives asking what else do we need and I have nothing to tell them except bottles/and burping clothes :))
    we still need to get the monitors system but I want to buy it myself as well because I don't want to have the cheapest one I want the good one.


    and I agree with prevous posts you can buy a lot on craiglist for GREAT price. almodst everything I bought there. much cheapper then new and in great condition.
     
  18. fromthecabbagepatch

    fromthecabbagepatch Well-Known Member

    I never understand why people don't look at the registry and get an idea of what you want at least. That always drives me crazy. It's like when my mom is Christmas shopping (or b-days) and asks me for a list, but never gets me anything off of it! Instead I get weird stuff...like for my birthday a monkey that sings...ummm? I love you Mom!!

    Well, atleast you got a shower :) No one really seemed to think of me :( I even got a registry, and no one has asked about it. Oh, well...this is my 2nd pregnancy I guess.. but it's TWINS!..you know? We shopped pretty thrifty... garage sales and craigslist. We have what we need...atleast for the first few months.

    I'm with you though.. I'd return all that stuff too.
     
  19. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    Some place that won't let you return clothes with no receipt might let you exchange them for larger sizes or other store mechandise, I would try that. Also, remember that just because they have 2 of a certain outfit doesn't mean they have to wear them on the same day ;)
     
  20. sparkle77

    sparkle77 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(fromthecabbagepatch @ May 18 2009, 09:02 PM) [snapback]1318488[/snapback]
    I never understand why people don't look at the registry and get an idea of what you want at least. That always drives me crazy. It's like when my mom is Christmas shopping (or b-days) and asks me for a list, but never gets me anything off of it! Instead I get weird stuff...like for my birthday a monkey that sings...ummm? I love you Mom!!

    Well, atleast you got a shower :) No one really seemed to think of me :( I even got a registry, and no one has asked about it. Oh, well...this is my 2nd pregnancy I guess.. but it's TWINS!..you know? We shopped pretty thrifty... garage sales and craigslist. We have what we need...atleast for the first few months.

    I'm with you though.. I'd return all that stuff too.


    To be honest, some people find the idea of registries to be tacky and presumptive. I think the idea is that if people want to give you a gift, they should be allowed to give what they want (whatever happened to its the thought that counts). It should not really be about fulfilling your NEEDS per se. Honestly, I kind of agree and I had a wedding registry that I set up under extreme duress (and I still felt like I was begging people to buy me things). I think for weddings people are into tradition and just really want to buy things like china patterns and crystal glasses -- the things that you would never buy for yourself. I was still a little uneasy about it though and only did it cause my mom insisted and it was in fact mostly her friends and older guests who actually bought that stuff. I agree wholeheartedly that people should buy what they like -- even crappy gifts. Like I said, I was a bit shocked at my wedding that none of my relatives gave ANYTHING because I also think that's a little tacky, but whatever.

    Unless its a FRICKING STRIPPER POLE thats not even in the right country, I think all gifts should be received graciously. :laughing:
     
  21. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(sparkle77 @ May 18 2009, 04:21 PM) [snapback]1318522[/snapback]
    To be honest, some people find the idea of registries to be tacky and presumptive. I think the idea is that if people want to give you a gift, they should be allowed to give what they want (whatever happened to its the thought that counts). It should not really be about fulfilling your NEEDS per se. Honestly, I kind of agree and I had a wedding registry that I set up under extreme duress (and I still felt like I was begging people to buy me things). I think for weddings people are into tradition and just really want to buy things like china patterns and crystal glasses -- the things that you would never buy for yourself. I was still a little uneasy about it though and only did it cause my mom insisted and it was in fact mostly her friends and older guests who actually bought that stuff. I agree wholeheartedly that people should buy what they like -- even crappy gifts. Like I said, I was a bit shocked at my wedding that none of my relatives gave ANYTHING because I also think that's a little tacky, but whatever.

    Unless its a FRICKING STRIPPER POLE thats not even in the right country, I think all gifts should be received graciously. :laughing:

    I normally agree with this 100% for most gift giving cases, Christmas, birthdays, etc...but a baby shower is specifically to help the expectant parents prepare for the baby so I don't think being exasperated that the gifts weren't needed or practical is out of line. Of course, each gift should only be met with appreciation and gratitude a the time of receipt. But to be disappointed after that fact that the gifts as a whole are not as helpful as she wished seems normal to me.

    If you just had china and crystal on your registry I'm not sureprised it was seen as presumptive. We didn't register for either and made sure we had all price ranges to make it reasonable. Did your family travel overseas for your wedding? Maybe that is all they could do.
     
  22. SweetpeaG

    SweetpeaG Well-Known Member

    You might be better served focusing on the positive aspects of what lies ahead for you and your family.
     
  23. ljmcisaac

    ljmcisaac Well-Known Member

    I think you can tell that a lot of people agree with you. Personally, if I give clothes for a shower they're always 6 mo or bigger (and look really odd next to the newborn clothes) and I'm also a big fan of gift cards...I like Zellers, I think it's like Target, they carry everything from groceries to clothes to cleaning supplies.
     
  24. Neumsy

    Neumsy Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(SweetpeaG @ May 18 2009, 09:43 PM) [snapback]1318542[/snapback]
    You might be better served focusing on the positive aspects of what lies ahead for you and your family.


    Very, very well said.
     
  25. sparkle77

    sparkle77 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(ThreeLittleSnowflakes @ May 18 2009, 09:41 PM) [snapback]1318539[/snapback]
    I normally agree with this 100% for most gift giving cases, Christmas, birthdays, etc...but a baby shower is specifically to help the expectant parents prepare for the baby so I don't think being exasperated that the gifts weren't needed or practical is out of line. Of course, each gift should only be met with appreciation and gratitude a the time of receipt. But to be disappointed after that fact that the gifts as a whole are not as helpful as she wished seems normal to me.

    If you just had china and crystal on your registry I'm not sureprised it was seen as presumptive. We didn't register for either and made sure we had all price ranges to make it reasonable. Did your family travel overseas for your wedding? Maybe that is all they could do.


    I dont know -- I dont really agree with the idea that baby showers are to help prepare parents for the baby. I thought they were an opportunity to get together and celebrate the mother and new baby and have a good time. I always thought gifts were extra.

    I didnt say that I registered for only china and crystal. In fact I registered for inexpensive random stuff but it was actually only the china and crystal that people bought for the most part -- that and the corkscrew. As I said, the people who asked for the registry were traditionalists and thats the stuff they bought

    Nope. Family didnt travel anywhere. My husband's family were the ones who travelled and were also the ones who gave large sums of cash. All my family are local to Houston and most drove 15 minutes to the wedding.
     
  26. faerieprncs

    faerieprncs Well-Known Member

    I just want to point out that the original poster doesn't seem like an ingrate...she said she appreciated the generosity, but was just frustrated by the fact that none of the items were practical.

    Of course we should ALL be very very very humbly thankful that people spent their money (and time shopping) for OUR kids, who yes, are our responsibility...but I can understand how it would have been nice to have some of that money spent on more practical things. I don't think she's MAD or HATES the gifts...I think she's just overwhelmed...thankful...but overwhelmed.
     
  27. sparkle77

    sparkle77 Well-Known Member

    I dont think she's an ingrate either and I should say that I'm a little touchy about this subject because I live about 5000 miles from my family, I am estranged from my mom and my friends are spread all over the world. I would really just appreciate the opportunity to share the joy of these babies with my closest family and friends. I come from a huge family and its like no one has the slightest interest in these babies (and I know that is partly down to the fact that I am not there, but its also because of the rift in my family and thats kind of sad). I could not care less if people buy things, but I would love to be fussed over a little bit -- to have that joy and excitement from my loved ones is something that I really miss right now. I think that if you have that, then you have what really counts and it should not be taken for granted.
     
  28. fromthecabbagepatch

    fromthecabbagepatch Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(sparkle77 @ May 18 2009, 03:21 PM) [snapback]1318522[/snapback]
    To be honest, some people find the idea of registries to be tacky and presumptive. I think the idea is that if people want to give you a gift, they should be allowed to give what they want (whatever happened to its the thought that counts). It should not really be about fulfilling your NEEDS per se. Honestly, I kind of agree and I had a wedding registry that I set up under extreme duress (and I still felt like I was begging people to buy me things). I think for weddings people are into tradition and just really want to buy things like china patterns and crystal glasses -- the things that you would never buy for yourself. I was still a little uneasy about it though and only did it cause my mom insisted and it was in fact mostly her friends and older guests who actually bought that stuff. I agree wholeheartedly that people should buy what they like -- even crappy gifts. Like I said, I was a bit shocked at my wedding that none of my relatives gave ANYTHING because I also think that's a little tacky, but whatever.

    Unless its a FRICKING STRIPPER POLE thats not even in the right country, I think all gifts should be received graciously. :laughing:


    I've never been to a shower where somone didn't have a registry.

    Anyway, I am of course grateful for any thought that goes into any present...wether requested or not.. But when you are having trouble getting the things you need I think it's okay to return the things you don't to get the things you do.

    With that said.. I hate having showers, and as much as someone having one for me would have helped and would have been greatly appreciated.. I'm always embarrased to invite people because I do feel like I'm begging or something.
     
  29. opalbarb

    opalbarb Well-Known Member

    To OP - you have my sympathy! I know you want to focus on the positive stuff, but you have a right to feel disappointed and we (well, most of us) support you. After all, you can't control how you feel! Sounds like you are going through a tough spot but you will make it through - one lesson we all can learn (who haven't had our showers yet) is not to get our hopes up thinking that our shower or gifts will be a certain way. At the end of the day, these are gifts and by definition, they can give whatever they want! But I do agree with some other posters that not everyone even gets a shower so try to focus on the fact that you have friends and family who cared enough to get stuff for you and love you! The other stuff will work itself out.
     
  30. sparkle77

    sparkle77 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(fromthecabbagepatch @ May 19 2009, 01:09 AM) [snapback]1318771[/snapback]
    I've never been to a shower where somone didn't have a registry.

    Anyway, I am of course grateful for any thought that goes into any present...wether requested or not.. But when you are having trouble getting the things you need I think it's okay to return the things you don't to get the things you do.

    With that said.. I hate having showers, and as much as someone having one for me would have helped and would have been greatly appreciated.. I'm always embarrased to invite people because I do feel like I'm begging or something.


    Now THIS is a really good point because I was racking my brain to remember this earlier but I SWEAR that registries used to be just for weddings. I could be wrong (and someone older can correct me) but I seem to recall that baby registries and all these other kinds of registries that are out there now are a fairly new concept. For instance, my mom got married 19 years ago and she had my first brother 18 years ago. I remember setting up a wedding registry, but for the life of me I cant remember her having a baby registry. In fact, I think I only personally heard of such a thing like 5 years or so ago, but I could have just been out of the loop.
     
  31. melissa26

    melissa26 Well-Known Member

    Don't take this the wrong way but I had 2 baby showers and have been to plenty and no one has ever recieved big items like car seatss,strollers,swing etc.Isn't that something you are your husband should do? Most people don't want to spend an enormous amount on gifts for someone else's baby.I wouldn't have expected that.I wouldn't want anyone else picking out my big items.I like to pick my own colors etc. I just know my own mom or MIL didn't even buy big items..maybe I just have different kinda people Im around.I think its kind of selfish to expect everyone to buy everything for me.I mean they aren't having the kids and with the economy who can afford to buy that stuff?
     
  32. beemer

    beemer Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Chloe_and_Leahs_mommy @ May 18 2009, 08:55 PM) [snapback]1318935[/snapback]
    Don't take this the wrong way but I had 2 baby showers and have been to plenty and no one has ever recieved big items like car seatss,strollers,swing etc.Isn't that something you are your husband should do? Most people don't want to spend an enormous amount on gifts for someone else's baby.I wouldn't have expected that.I wouldn't want anyone else picking out my big items.I like to pick my own colors etc. I just know my own mom or MIL didn't even buy big items..maybe I just have different kinda people Im around.I think its kind of selfish to expect everyone to buy everything for me.I mean they aren't having the kids and with the economy who can afford to buy that stuff?


    Everyone's experience is different. We, for one, were incredibly lucky and got almost every single item off our registry including all the big ticket stuff - car seats, PNP, SNG, a SBS, high chairs etc., etc., etc.

    To the OP, rant away any time. Be thankful for what you recieved, figure out what you can use and what you can return, and tell anyone left who asks - please no more clothes, or at least nothing smaller than X. Some people will understand, others may be offended, but if you don't tell them they have no way of knowing. And it IS a pain to return things, and given that most stores have strict return policies it can be incredibly frustrating to have things you don't think you will need, but have no easy way to exchange them for something you do think you will need. There were a few things we weren't able to return, but had no need for. After the babies passed the stage where there was no way they could use it, it went into a box for charity. I was sad to put unused things that were so generously given into the pile, but at least someone hopefully will get some use of them.

    You will also be surprised at all the things you think you need, and what you actually do. I think it is perfectly okay to hold off on some of the purchases (and returns for that matter) until you KNOW what you really need. We had alot of things on our registry that we thought we HAD to have. Turns out we could have lived without some of it, but really needed some other things that we never even thought of.

    I will say that for the matching clothes you may be surprised. There were lots of us who swore we would never match before we had our kids - but who have since become anal about matching. :) And don't worry - mama's can always tell their children apart. You will utter the words to someone someday that your ID children look nothing alike - you can't imagine how other people don't see it. :) You won't need clothes to tell them apart - though others may appreciate the differentation. Worst case they just wear the same outfit on different days (or in between different spit ups). Just less laundry for you. And believe me, you will feel like you do laundry daily even if you don't. For such little people who do nothing all day long they sure use alot of clothes. :)
     
  33. nutty-mom

    nutty-mom Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug:


    I would take stuff back. I also have done this before.

    I was lucky for my shower. Co-workers and family pooled their money and got what we could use. Diapers and wipes lasted for 3 months. Clothes of all sizes, car seats and practial items like bottle, paci and bottle brush and ext.

    I don't think you are being unreasonable.

    Penny
     
  34. oh-baby-baby

    oh-baby-baby Well-Known Member

    I understand...:hug: people called and asked me what I needed, I said diapers diapers diapers! What did I get? Clothes clothes and 1 40-pack of diapers... <_< No one listens and some of the clothes are 12month and 24 month...Let's just hope that it's hot when the girls need to wear those dresses... <_<
     
  35. Little June Bug

    Little June Bug Well-Known Member

    I would be ever so grateful if I even had a baby shower. I have had several friends drop by with a few outfits/toys but no shower for me. You are lucky you have friends and family members who gathered to celebrate your babies. You have a right to feel how you feel and who are we to judge. Remember, you are blessed to have others care about you in a special day. Just my thoughts....
     
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