babies on opposite schedules.. HELP

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by momof6, Dec 12, 2010.

  1. momof6

    momof6 Well-Known Member

    My babies are 2 weeks old today. They were born 35 and 3 had no NICU time and came home with us 2 days later. We finally have the smaller baby nursing better and getting enough food, but now they are on opposite schedules. We try to wake them both and tandem nurse them as often as possible, but our girl wants to be up all night. Last night they both woke to feed at 1am to feed, he fell back asleep (woke at 3) she fussed and didnt want me to leave her alone and finally fell asleep at 4:45am. Sometimes we turn a lamp on and she will sleep. Just in time for him to wake at 6ish to eat. I tried the paci and that only lasted a few min, I tried to nurse her more, that only lasted a few minutes. I don't know what to do :( I am so exhausted. My DH has to be at church at 6 am on Sundays so I had him sleep on the couch. When will days and nights work out? How do I keep them/get them on the same schedule? HELP!
     
  2. murtygirl

    murtygirl Well-Known Member

    I am so excited that I get to say this...but I promise it will get better! My babies were born at 31 weeks and came home at 35 weeks...they are now 4 months (almost 2 adjusted), so I know how it is to have such tiny babies. It is SOO hard when they have day and night reversal.I pretty much fed on demand for the first month or so. That being said...I always TRIED to feed the other at the same time, even if it was just to "top off". But it didn't always work out. You can't feed a baby that is not hungry. I can tell you what I did and it may or may not work for you (mine are formula fed tho)they are now sleeping thru the night for 12 hrs great and eating great...however, they are not always on the same schedule. I really just think my smaller DD has a smaller belly and needs to eat smaller meals more frequently. So here it is:

    1.) I opened the blinds and let the sun shine in at 7:30 am when my 2 yo DD wakes and brought them out into the living room where the majrity of our life is spent. I would try to put them in their cribs a couple of times a day for naps (but they did sleep alot in their swings/bouncies for naps)THey just sleep ALL the time when they are new borns like that, so it's kind of a free for all.

    2.) I tried to feed them at that starting point and from there every 2-2.5 hrs.

    3.) I also tried to fill them up as much as I could during the day in hopes that they would sleep longer at night. That didn't really work out until they were home a month or 2. (Right at 40 weeks gestation) THey would then usually give me a four hour stretch at night.

    4.) They both stayed up late (like til 10 or 11) until they got their days and nights workd out (about 2.5 month old- 2/3 wks adjusted).

    My theory is to try to push for a schedule you want them to have when they get a little older and stick to that "routine" as much as you can, and eventually they will catch on.
    It is exhausting, and the hardest thing I have ever been thru. I cried all the time, just from fatigue. Your little babies are just around the corner for making changes for the better.

    BTW, I did let them wimper for a couple minutes when I laid them down, and usually my DS would fall asleep. My DD needed a little more lovin'! And also, I am bad...I let them sleep on their tummies and that made all the difference. Twins are a whole differnt beast then a singleton! I would have NEVER let my older DD sleep on her tummy!

    GOod luck to you, and I sure hope you able to get them on the same schedule...I know how it feel to be ALWAYS feeding a baby, and NEVER sleeping.
     
  3. momof6

    momof6 Well-Known Member

    I am glad it gets better! I have 4 other kids all singles and this is the HARDEST of all. I will try to get them up and into the living room more that is a good idea. I am thankful that DH works from home, but it is still hard. What do you mean by 2 adjusted? I see that all the time and I don't know what it means to have an adjusted age. Thanks for your imput and advice and mostly thanks for the positive thoughts and info!!!
     
  4. Tamaralynn

    Tamaralynn Well-Known Member

    Adjusted age is if they are born before term. Your guys were born early, so they are not even considered term yet. My guys were born at 37 weeks, and even when William was in the hospital they adjusted his age. So when he was discharged on Chirstmas day, he was 3 weeks old, but 1 day old adjusted. They were due the 24th of December, born the 4th of December.

    I agree with the PP it does get easier.
     
  5. E's 3

    E's 3 Well-Known Member

    I found the thing that helped the most with getting their days/nights figured out was similar to what a PP said. Between around 8pm and 6am we kept things dark and very quiet. During that time they slept in our room (which was where they were when they were newborns) and when they woke up to feed they were fed, burped, changed and back in bed as quickly as possible. We didn't talk to them or play with them and tried not to turn lights on (we had a night light that we used for changing, etc.). After 6am when we decided it was morning (this is when DS wakes up so we were up too) we would take them downstairs to the living room where it was bright and noisy and this was where they spent the day. They napped in their bouncy chairs, car seats or swings and were played with and talked to after feeds when they were more alert. They got their days and nights figured out very quickly.

    As for getting them on the same schedule for feeding all you can do is keep trying to feed one when you feed the other. There were times when they were 'off' but for the most part they ate at the same time from pretty early on. Also, remember it does get easier, eventually.
     
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