Being self centered

Discussion in 'General' started by Donita, Nov 20, 2008.

  1. Donita

    Donita Well-Known Member

    I know that it's normal for teens to be self absorbed and self centered. But lately I have really been disappointed in how much so Daniel is. If it doesn't affect Daniel, he just doesn't care. An example... yesterday evening Daniel and Megan were standing near the trash can throwing a black t-shirt back and forth at each other arguing over who was responsible for putting it away. I got tired of listening to them took the t-shirt and threw in the nearby trash can. Megan said "don't you want your "band mom" shirt? I told her it wasn't worth the fighting. She then said "nice Daniel, you made mom throw away her shirt" to which he replied "I don't care". Another time he had to miss an event because Heather got sick. All evening it was poor poor Daniel.. and inconsiderate Heather for getting sick when he had plans. He expects me to jump when he needs/wants something, and I recently realized just how much jumping I do for that boy. I told him last night I was done. If he forgets his homework, I won't bring it to school, he can just get a homework detention. If he forgets his lunch, he is going hungry. If he is working outside and gets thirsty, he'll have to stop what he is doing and get his own drink. I can be cooking supper, ask him to do something, turn around and he is gone and what I asked him to do isn't getting done. We'll see how he likes asking for something not having it get done. UGH!! Anyone else experiencing an overly selfish teen?
     
  2. Bichon999

    Bichon999 Well-Known Member

    mmhm, my brother, Dakota, He steals and lies. And he just doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself. he doesn't go to my orchestra concerts, or monica's soccer games, or Danica's lacrosse games, or Gena's mini-theatre plays, or anything! But then, when i skip out on his choir concert for one of the days, he calls me inconsiderate! and i went one of the days, just not both. jeez
     
  3. Christel

    Christel Well-Known Member

    Ethan is like that with some things. Okay, with most things. In fact I was just thinking that I need to find a mom who's already been though this to bounce things off of. I don't know what to push and what to let go. For the most part he is an extremely good kid and I know that I am very blessed. But he is very self-centered.

    I know what you mean about the jumping too. I've been realizing that I do that too.

    He can also be very disrespectful. Not to anyone's face, he would never do that. But he comes home from baseball practice and complains about the coach; we get home from church and he complains about the sermon, etc, etc.

    Ugh, where's that guidebook again???
     
  4. Neumsy

    Neumsy Well-Known Member

    I remember being a whiny self centered little sod myself. (Granted my Mom was a full on whack job, so there may have been slightly extenuating cirumstances, but whattyagonnado? :D)

    I think that it's just a developmental stage, like when they're two and naturally self centered. It makes it so much harder at 18 (is he 18-I'm rotten at math) or whatever though, because they have the verbal ability express all the frustration and snottiness they're feeling and they do have a certain level of independence. He's finding his feet, and it's perfectly normal for him to think that he's the center of the Universe, and that if he doesn't get his way he is going to DIE-I-TELL-YOU-JUST-DIEEEEEEEEEEEE-MOM!!!!!! Oh, the drama when you're that age. Everything genuinely feels like a matter of life and death, and NO ONE could ever possibly understand the DEPTH OF YOUR SOULLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! :D

    (I make fun, but I do remember feeling that way-I played Michael Bolton songs on my cassette player til all hours of the morning when the guy I fancied for prom didn't ask me! "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVVVVVVE WITHOUUUUUTTTT YOUUUUU" over and over again! I was insufferable!)

    I know it must suck, but I think you may have to handle it like you did when he was two and throwing a tantrum-try to ignore as much of it as possible and excercise just enough authority to keep him from hurting himself. But I do totally think you're right on to make him accept the natural consequences of his actions with the homework, and lunch and things. Owen is only 8 but I already don't take forgotten homework to school, or forgotten PE clothes, etc. He's had to write sentences several times this year for forgetting his PE gear, and it's working-he's not forgotten anything for about three weeks now.

    Hang in there-he'll go sane again soon. :D
     
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