Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by smitty22, Jan 30, 2010.

  1. smitty22

    smitty22 Member

    Hello, Our twin girls are 1 now and we are having a problem with Ashley bullying Alexis. Alexis is a little smaller than Ashley and much more mellow. Ashley doesn't seem to be too interested in anything until Alexis has it. She immediately goes over and pushes her sister away from it or takes it away from her. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to handle this?
  2. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    does it seem to upset Alexis? if not, i wouldn't worry too much about it. my girls are the same way - Danika's a toy taker. she's always taking toys from Riley. my innate sense of fairness always made me want to make her give it back, but Riley rarely seems bothered & usually just finds something else to play with. i figure, if Riley's not upset, why should i be?

    the pushing though would probably concern me - for us, that would be a time-out offense. my girls get one minute time outs for a couple of different behaviours (hitting, biting, pushing, etc) and we started those at 12 months. i sort of see them less as a punishment & more as a way to redirect them. usually 1 minute is enough time for them to forget what they were doing before the time out. we sit the offender on a mat in the corner. i usually have to sit there as well - but i don't talk to them or make eye contact. i just gently sit them back on the mat if they try to get off.
  3. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    It's really not bullying, just typical baby/toddler behaviour. No toy is as interesting as the one someone else's got! I agree with Rachel; if it's not bothering Alexis you shouldn't let it bother you. You will probably find that one day they switch round and Alexis takes Ashley's toy.
  4. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I agree with Rachel, if it does not bother Alexis, do not let it bother you. My DD used to do this to my DS quite frequently and he would move on to another toy. So I would let them work that one out. But if hitting, shoving, pushing got involved, then also like Rachel, they received a TO for that kind of behavior. I did TO's in my lap with the child not facing me and I did not talk to the offending child during the minute long TO.
  5. smitty22

    smitty22 Member

    Thanks to everyone for the advice. For the most part it does not seem to bother Alexis. Occasionally she gets upset, but not very often. So we will try not to worry about it unless it gets worse..Thanks again.
  6. vharrison1969

    vharrison1969 Well-Known Member

    Jack does the same thing with Nate; he'll take a toy away or push Nate out of the way. :catfight: Nate just goes about his business 99% of the time, but when he reacts it's like a nuclear meltdown!! I've noticed as the guys get older they're starting to offer things to each other. Tonight Jack wanted the cup Nate was drinking out of, so he offered Nate his own cup first. Of course, Nate didn't want it, so Jack just took Nate's anyway, but I guess it's progress! :laughing:
  7. cheriek

    cheriek Well-Known Member

    Charlotte does that alot and unless Eve cries i dont intervene, she has a nasty habit about taking her soother or bottle literally out of her mouth and im refing a battle for the bottle:rotflmbo:
  8. heathertwins

    heathertwins Well-Known Member

    I finally stepped in at about 16 months when I felt the aggressor was old enough to know better. I then did Time outs in the corner -- still need to read "1-2-3 Magic" and it seemed to really help. I was able to get to the point of saying " I think your sister was playing with that" and she would return the item. Now she might "trade" the toy for a different one, but hey it works and it is a way to deal with her getting what she wants.

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