Bummed

So, I received a call tonight from the director of my DD's dance program that she is no longer allowed in class. She is 4 and has been to 2 ballet classes in a program that runs Sept to April.

She is too shy for their program. She did fuss during the first class at first and a minute or 2 during the second but did pay attention and started doing some of the moves at the end. She was not lined up with the other girls though, off by herself. I was actually encouraged that she had done better. This is the first time she has been in an activity without her twin. She knows all the moves they have taught and will do them at home.

I totally understand not wanting kids to distract the others. I guess I am sad her shyness/slow to warm up personality is keeping her out of fun things. It feels a little harsh to kick her out after 2 classes.

Her best friend/neighbor is in the class so that may not be fun. I think part of it is the teacher is anything but warm and fuzzy, seems strange for a 4 year old ballet class. DD has done gymnastics in the past and did pretty well.

Not sure how to tell her??? I don't want her to feel bad about herself over this. Any thoughts?

 

She's 4 for heaven's sake. I can't believe that after two classes they have decided she is disruptive in the class. Is the teacher also the director/owner of the dance school? I would be talking to her and/or anyone above her to point out how ridiculous this is before I tell her anything. Sounds like the Dance Moms show.

 

That is ridiculous!

Is there another place nearby that you could take her to instead? Thank goodness my oldest DS wasn't kicked out of t-ball for being shy and anxious...he cried and dragged us out on the field with him the first year as a 4 year old and now he's 7 and a heck of a little baseball player. I think that dance teacher needs to refresh her memory of age appropriate behavior for 4 year olds!

 

WHAT?!?! It's only been two classes and she's FOUR. I would have been ticked. If she was totally disrupting class, that's one thing, but it sounds like she's warming up to it.

As for how to tell her, I wish I had advice. In my mind I'd consider video taping it and emailing it to the teacher to let her now how sad she made a 4 year old little girl, but I doubt I'd actually do it. Doesn't sound like this teacher would care much, either.

But seriously, if this program is this harsh with little four year olds, maybe you don't want her to dance there at this point in time. It should be about fun and learning at this point in the game.

 

Teacher and director are different, not sure if they are related.

I was given no choice according to the director, except telling me she is not ready and try again when she is 5. I asked if it would be the same teacher because that would be a deciding factor - she didn't know.

I did express my disappointment that a shy child who will likely adapt is not given an opportunity to do so. She said if they are not cooperating without a parent in the room by the 2nd class they are "not ready"

Argh!

 

I am pretty sure the sign ups are over and other programs have begun.

 

Wow. Anna literally ran around the room screaming and stepping on the teacher's toes her first class. If that doesn't get you kicked out, being shy sure as heck shouldn't. I'd be ticked and would tell them so and post negative reviews. That is not typical.

 

If she wants to dance, I would try to find a different dancing class. Just sign ups are over, doesn't mean that they are not still spots in classes. Last year I signed my girls up for dance at the end of September beginning of October

My girls were kick out of a dancing class when they were 2. I thought my girls were doing fine, we started in September and this was the first class in December. We had to do a make up on a Saturday and my girls were with a different teacher and group of kids. The Saturday class was more advanced than their class so my girls didn't know what to do. They told us in front of the girls not to come back. The studio refunded my money for November which surprised me.

 

This just made me mad! I would tell the director that there is no way you would ever sign her again at their program and that you will make sure to let other parents know about their lack of patience!

 

Wow, this is really shocking to me. In my opinion if a teacher is teaching this age group (very young) then they should be more flexible and have more skills in helping to get the kids engaged. Even adults can take a few classes to feel comfortable. Ridiculous to treat a child this way. As for telling her, I'm not sure but I think if it were my daughter I would try to play it down and would definitely not let her know the real reason why - maybe just say that the schedule isn't working well so you are going to move her to a different class or something like that. I am always afraid that a teacher will 'label' kids at this age and they will always believe the label - so if she hears she is shy she may start to think of herself that way. (if that makes sense!)

If you can get her into another dance class that is great, or another thought is to try a class that is more dance/fitness - not sure what you have in your area but i know around here there are quite a few classes that do a mix of dance/jumping/fitness for this age as it is less structured and if a child doesn't want to participate right away it is no big deal.

Good luck.

 

Wowza. I can't believe they'd try and kill a 4 year old's spirit like that. Hopefully you can find another class where they're a bit more accepting. I bet she'd do just fine in the right environment because it sounds like she enjoys it if she does it at home!

Also, post negative reviews and tell everyone you know. And mentally picket the dance studio and pour paint on the teacher's tutu .

 

Wow. Quite frankly, I'm pretty speechless. I just signed my daughter up for a toddler Mommy and Me dance class. It's my first outing into the dance world. She loved it. The teacher was awesome. I can't imagine it any other way! I can't even fathom a dance teacher squashing a little girl's dream. How incredibly unprofessional-imo. I certainly would look elsewhere and badmouth them all I could. Four years old. It's not like she was 14.

And I was shy. Extremely shy. This would have made things worse for me. So as her mother, I would just protect her and say you found another fun activity instead, the dance class wasn't working out, or whatever.

 

That is really sad. I would try to find another dance studio in our area. I don't think they are all like that. If I were you, I would be posting a negative review on Yelp and spreading the word that this is not a good dance school for young children.

 

My boys were kicked out of a summer gymnastics class when they were 3. It was at a dance studio, and I went into it telling them that I really wanted them to get used to being left, and I really didn't care if they learned anything else. They said "no problem" and told me they did have a class for them--I asked if they had something available that would suit their needs, not looking for something particular. After the second class, they booted the boys because Jonathan didn't stay in line, and kept trying to leave. Um, that is why I told I wanted to send him.

As for how to tell her. I wouldn't bring it up. If she asks, do as a PPer suggested and tell her that the time wasn't good and you would look for something that fit the schedule better.

 

I agree with PP's. It's a 4 year old dance class for pete's sake! I am sorry that both you and your DD have to go through this. I agree with the suggestions of telling her that the time did not work out for us and see if there is another dance class that will start in the future at another studio for her to go to.
And when other parents ask you for a recommendation to a dance studio for their child, don't recommend that one.
:hug:

 

I don't know exactly what I'd tell your DD, but that is totally ridiculous. I'm sort of on the other side of it. I teach children's martial arts classes (ages 5-12) and I see all kinds of behavior (and not just in the youngest ones, either ), and it would take a heck of a lot more than what you're describing in your DD for me to consider a kid disruptive - and even then, I'd try to find a way to work with them, not kick them out of the class.

I'd send a letter to the director detailing all your concerns, AND mentioning all your social networks (preschool, church, FB, MOMs clubs, whatever) where you will be telling everyone all about your experience. :angry:

 

I agree with what everyone else is saying. I can't imagine kicking a 4 year old out of a dance class. That's insane. Obviously, this isn't the right dance school. I'd also look for another one. I know when I was looking last year, they would have taken my girls after Sept. Not uncommon at all. If you can't find a dance school, maybe try gymnastics. My girls love it and can sign up throughout the year. As far as telling her, I would lie. Not sure what I'd tell her, but not the truth. I don't think I could handle hearing that at my age. Good luck!

 

I totally agree w/ PP.

I would tell DD that you will find another class, not tell her she was kicked out.

How totally, completely unprofessional.


My DD took dance at 3 and the teacher was FABULOUS. Yes, the class was noise and crazy- but the kids learned and had fun. Parents could even sit on the side for shy/new little ones. The teacher really really made it appropriate for the age she was teaching (she taught 2s-adults).


I , too, would post online about the class not being for young kiddos. As a parent, I often read reviews online if I have no direct experience with a kid-place/activity!

Hope you find something fabulous for your DD!! Trust me there are good teachers out there!

 

I can't believe they kicked a 4 yr old out of dance class! That is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard. She is 4, not 20 and trying out for some stage production. Not to mention the fact that being kicked out of dance class may turn her off of ballet, and how does THAT help her be ready to go next yr? I am seriously flabbergasted.....

 

That is absolutely ridiculous that they kicked her out after two classes!! This makes me very angry...
But maybe its good that she can go somewhere else that is more warm and caring. I am sorry this happened. :hug:

 

Wow, I can honestly say I have NEVER seen any child get kicked out of ballet class. This is not a knock to your child but to that company! Find another one to go to. I've seen many behaviors in class form running around the room to standing and doing nothing, and the instructors at our school just was patient as can be. If you want her to keep dancing then get her into another school. That's just ridiculous!!

I would not tell her! This is just ridiculous. Personally, I would find her another place to go and tell her that you found another place that she will enjoy better.

 

Alright like everyone else I am shocked that they would kick her out period, but especially kick her out after the second class when she's just starting to warm up I would definitely look around and found a different class she can take and just tell her you found a better class for her! And I would be sending the director a thorough email about how disgusting and disappointing and inappropriate this is and how you'll be sure to spread the word how she runs the school! :aggressive:

 

Thank you all! I will look for something better. This one was through a rec center so I thought it would be pretty low key, appartenly not!

She was telling her Grandma this morning how she did better at class this time! Makes me angry and sad!

 

just terrible. I would definitely write the school/rec center a letter. My girls took ballet through our rec center last fall and it was crazy, and fun and the girl teaching the class had appropriate expectations for 3-4 year olds. I'm sorry that wasn't your experience.

 

:cry: I hope you can find something WAY BETTER!!!! and I am sure she will do great!

 

Absolutely ridiculous! Find another studio, for sure. Just call around, I know at our studio, just because registration is over doesn't mean there are still spaces available. And, I can say that being around a dance studio for the last 10 years, I have seen some truly disruptive kids & I have never seen a 4 year old asked to leave. I think it just speaks to the teacher's lack of ability & confidence in handling young children. Not what you would want anyway, good riddance! :hug: to you & your daughter!

 

If it was through a rec center, there has to be a director of the rec center. I would try and talk to that person and log a complaint that way. Was this 2 class policy posted somewhere? Even if it was posted, it still doesn't make it right. I hope you find another class for your daughter.

 

Wow, my first thought was this Ballet Class is more like a school? In that they are a more serious organization training children for a lifetime of professional ballet...? I know there are some gym classes like that...the kids there are going to the Olympics and its very serious. Either way I'm guessing you are looking for a great activity for your children and I wouldn't want a school with that thinking teaching my girls...they are obviously not children friendly, I hope you find another class for her. I would just let her know that she is not going to that particular class anymore and you're looking for a better one...keep it simple.

 

I clicked on this wondering "what could a 4-year-old do to get kicked out of class?" I'm surprised that they just didn't have any patience when she was, oh, I don't know, acting like a 4-year-old! I agree with everyone else.. kicking her out is just ridiculous! You'd think that a class for such young kids would try to promote drawing them out and having them enjoy a new experience. I'm sorry that happened to her. I do agree with others; see if you can find a different class and don't mention this one. How sad for her.

 

horrible. absolutely horrible. i was a dance teacher, and i couldn't IMAGINE kicking out a kid cuz she was too shy. my suggestion? find a new school ASAP. you can pretty much sign up for classes all the way up until about february (when costumes are being ordered for spring shows). tell your daughter that "hey! i found a new dance school, and it's better and way more fun!"

 

Nancy,
I would be L.I.V.I.D!!!
Four years old for crying out loud!!!

Your daughter cannot be the first and only one who at 4 years old took some time to warm up to the idea of a new setting. There HAS to be something else going on here.
I would do three things, first, I would demand my money back, how dare they do this!
Second, I would let that studio know that they will NEVER get one more dime of mine and send my kids elsewhere forever. If your other daughter goes there I would PULL HER OUT.
Third, explain to your daughter that she is doing a terrific job and how proud of her you are and because there are so many kids in that class she is going to go to a better, more fun class and sign her up at a different location.
Your daughter needs a place where she is going to be nurtured and respected and this is CLEARLY not the place!

I am so angry just hearing that someone had the gaul to pull this; I can't even believe it!

When your girls become famous prima ballarina's and they're famous go back to that place and let them know what they missed!

Good Luck,
Leslie

 

What's their number?!? I want to call them myself...seriously this makes me so mad! Your sweet little girl was just getting excited about class...
You have to call and make them feel like idiots...or else I will do it for you! :aggressive:

 

Yes, give us their number and we'll call for you. That's the best idea I've heard! I can't believe how out-of-line this teacher and school were. Seriously, we'll call, you find her a much more fun teacher and class.

 

un-fvcking-believable!!!

Abby danced at the stuffiest dance school in our little town (our town of less than 10K has 3 dance schools LOL) at 3 and they never ever removed anyone...

I would not only write a letter to the director of the rec center, if the center is run by the city or county, the local government as well as the local newspaper would be getting letters - that teacher needs to be humiliated...

crock.of.$hit

 

I can't believe that!! At a rec center?? I don't know what I would tell her but I would lie. Its hard bc rec centers offer so many programs you don't really want to give up going there but you definitley need to raise a stink about it! Thats ridiculous! I would expect a 6 or 7 year old to pay that much attention!