can someone please tell me how to get 2 babies to go to sleep?

Can someone please tell me how one person is supposed to get two needy babies to fall asleep?
Mine are 5.5 months old and up until last week I had been putting them in their swings for naps and for falling asleep at night, but one started rolling over so both the swaddle and swing are now out (he arches his back in the swing now). The other was still fine in the swing for a few days, but the last 3 it no longer works for him either. I am alone during the say and for bedtime, and I am struggling to figure out how to get both of them to go to sleep. I try rocking/nursing both of them, and I can get them drowsy, but as soon as I put them down they start screaming. Individually I can get one almost asleep but the other is screaming so much that it never works, i put him down and get the other and they are both just screaming and screaming. The last 3 days no naps other than 10 min here or there, and bedtime takes over an hour after bedtime routine. I have given up and tried the car and stroller, but no more than 10 min there too. They are also still waking up a million times at night, but thats another issue.

I am willing to try anything

thanks

 

Hmmmm....I was alone during the day for naps as well. DH was usually home for bedtime. I didn't do CIO until they were six months old. I literally waited until the very day, or went past it. The boys napped in their swings-swaddled-up until that point. And that was when I said it was time for the crib. I just moved them into their crib and didn't look back. To me, you've got a lot going on with them.

1.) They just started rolling over-that interrupts sleep for sure!
2.) No more swaddle
3.) No more swing

You've got some exhausted babies on your hand-on top of an exhausted mommy! :hug: If it were me....Start a nap routine. You can go and read books, play, take a bath, rock, whatever. Then you can go and nurse them. Tell them it's time for nap. What I did, was sing a song to my boys-a made up song-and I sang it every.single.time they went down for nap. Whether it worked, I don't know! But they did tend to quiet down when I started singing it!

You can rock them both and lay them both down in the crib(somehow I managed to do this). Then you can take each one and try to settle by patting, rubbing backs, etc. Tell them they are ok, and it's time for nap, goodnight, leave the room. Or you can pick each one up, sing a lullabye of sorts, and then place in crib and tell them it's time for nap.

I would let them cry/fuss for a few minutes before going into them right away. Even if they do fall asleep, and wake up again, I would let them fuss. Now, I know what you are going to say-he's going to wake the other baby. Could be. But in the end, generally speaking, hopefully they will sleep through each others cries. And they do learn to do that! My boys are 3.5 and sleep through each others cries!

Or, I have also taken one baby, gotten him to sleep and then gone and got the other to sleep before putting him in the crib. It really is hard!! :hug: Hang in there. But you have to give them time to adjust and to resettle themselves.

For CIO, if that is something you are comfortable with, they say to allow crying for no more than 60 minutes for nap time. Bedtime-until they fall asleep. Again, I waited until 6 months. Until that point-I rocked them and fed them to sleep. It's hard, no doubt about it. Do what you feel comfortable doing-you know your babies best. Good luck! Just remember-sleep begets sleep. And, this too will be a distant memory-I swear!

And once you've tackled naptime, we can help you tackle bedtime!

 

For us we never nursed or rocked to sleep. We always put them down content and quiet, sleepy but awake. This taught them to self soothe. I don't know if it is too late for that now, but I agree that CIO is the next step. I read a book called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and it made a huge difference. When we took paci's away at about 6 months (I was tired of them waking for them) we substituted with a "lovey". For them it is a little stuffed animal head with a blanket on it. EVERY time we put them down we gave it to them. Now DS sucks on the bears ears and DD sucks on the bunny feet. Maybe try giving them a type of security when you put them down. When we stopped swaddling at 6 months we went straight to sleep sacks. The had also started to roll at this point. A lot happens between 6-8 months rolling, scooting, sitting, teething. It can all affect them. About 2 weeks ago we began to put them down at 7 and let them CIO if they woke and after 1 night they were sleeping all night. Since it sounds like your babies are over tired I agree with getting a good nap routine then bedtime (that book was the key for us) Also do they sleep together? We found that our DD moved way to much and it was disturbing their sleep. We found him on his tummy once with her laying over him and both screaming. She was holding his head down another time, and kicking him in the head another! We finally moved them and they sleep sooo much better. We wanted them together but it was not working. That is something to think about.

As far as doing it alone, I always put them both in their cribs and then pick one to start with. I put them in their sleep sack give them their lovey and hold them for a few min. Then I put them down and go to the other. Now they hardly ever cry but if they do they sleep through eachothers cries. Which amazes me!

Another thing I did was ask the lactation consultant how much breast milk they needed at their age and weights and how long should they be able to go. That gave me a gauge to go on. If they needed 4 oz and could go 4 hours then if they cried before that I did not feed them. This helped with a routine and schedule. Are you feeding solids yet?

I hope you are able to get them sleeping. Hearing them cry is harder on you than it is on them. Once you establish a routine, stick to it. Being consistent is so important! They will figure it out!! Good luck!!

 

Mine can both go to sleep on their own I would say about 70% of the time now. honestly, I think the fact that they suck their thumbs has made that major difference. They were using paci's but switched to thumb a month or so ago. Once I noticed they liked thumb better, I tried to phase out paci's because with twins it is way easier to have an attached pacifier. Unfortunately, there probably isn't much you can do to make that happen. The other thing that I think helped was I started putting them in bed when they were sleepy but awake as much as I could 2 months ago. That slowly seemed to help. We never cried it out, but I do let them cry a minute or so and see if they will fall asleep before picking them up. My one twin in particular, seems to need to cry a minute and it seems like he isn't going to sleep, then he passes right out. Now we are doing pretty good (fingers crossed).

 

about 5.5 months is when we started letting them cry. It was really hard on me but I knew it was what was best for them. I won't lie to you the first night you will sit outside their bedroom door and SOB but its not hurting them and they won't think you don't love them. THey are in a safe familiar enviornment. We did a strict routine for the first 2 months then we were able to slowly change it up a bit but for those 2 months it was bath,jammies, read with bottles and then into bed after lots of hugs kisses and I love yous. Took 3 nights of crying and then they started sleeping through. Some kids take a little longer some take 1 night. I wish you the best of luck.

 

I am sorry that you're having a rough time. That's where we got to when we finally did CIO too.. there was no nap routine, no order in our lives. So I came up with a nap schedule and a bedtime and stuck to it. I started putting them down about 15-20 minutes before I knew that they were going to be fussy and that seemed to work really well. It's much easier to get a calm baby to sleep than a crabby cranky one! Also, don't be afraid to get one fully down while the other has to wait. I tried to make the kids take turns at that.. it's just a sucky part of having a twin.

Also, do you think they might be cutting teeth? I know that this was a big part of sleep problems, and if you think it's teeth maybe try a little tylenol before bedtime and see if that helps.

 

I am home every night alone with 3 kids so I feel your pain!!! SOOOO much pain!!! DH works nights Anyways, are they sick or teething??? if not they say CIO is the fastest method I could do CIO with one twin but the other twin would cry for hours, vomit from crying, etc. She has finally grown out of it an can usually put her self to sleep, other wise I go in and pat her butt. It was too hard on me to let her cry it out so I adapted. With that said, it was a breeze with my DS. Took 2 nights of CIO and slept 12-13 hrs straight. Still does.

I learned the hard way from my first baby not to even start with the rocking to sleep. I was still doing it with her at almost 2 years old!! So with these 2 I laid them down awake from the get go...I think it did help immensly for when they got older (11 1/2 months now)

There were times where I would go back and forth, sweating, trying to console and put to sleep 2 babies. It is sooo hard. I know I am not much help but I am here to commiserate. It did help TONS when I put them is separate rooms and let them sleep on their bellies.

I too, am a huge fan of Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child. In a nutshell, Dr Weissbleuth (author) would say to CIO (extinction method is fastest, gradual, not as fast) According to most dr's babies have the ability to self soothe at 4 months. You just have to teach them by giving them the opportunity. Easier said than done, but that's just how it goes, I guess. Good luck!!

Milestones and teething can hugely interrupt good sleeping babies. Unfortunately, I know from experioence:/

 

I'm also having trouble getting my girls to stay asleep. We put them down around 9-10, and sometimes it takes one of them over an hour to fall asleep. They're in the same crib, but I don't want them to wake each other up! Is 4 months old too early to start sleep training? We stopping using swaddles because they're rolling from back to front, but haven't started rolling from front to back, so they wake up when they realize they're on their tummy!

One of our girls seems to have started startling herself awake again - what to do? She likes to feel secure so she's been sleeping in the car seat the last two nights. Any ideas?
Thanks!

 

We did CIO when they were 5.5 or 6 or 6.5 months lol icant even remember. Honestly, we had to repeat CIO many times in first year. It was a hard thing. But it's for the best. My kids now have a healthy sleeping habit. They know their nap/bed time. We just put them down say night night walk out, then walk out close door. That's it.

If you do CIO, I strongly suggest do both of them at the same time in the same room. That way they will learn to sleep through their twin cry scream. Gl!

 

We have no problem getting them to sleep at night, we just have a problem getting them to STAY asleep. They wake up at different times, and we try to calm them down without taking them out of the crib, but it often doesn't work. We worry that they will wake each other up. They often do at night. So, we end up taking them into bed, sometimes I nurse them, sometimes not, but my husband and I always end up with a baby in bed.

I'm reading Healthy Sleep habits, happy child, but so far we haven't been able to get them to stay asleep. They wake up sometimes with gas pains, or with g-d knows what else, and they usually do not fall back asleep in the crib. We're desperate! They're 5 months old, and we need our sleep!

 

When I started putting DD into a crib when she was abt eleven months old, I also couldn't do CIO. Instead I would go in and sit next her and sing and pat her back and just sit there till she fell back asleep. It made for a miserable couple of weeks for sure, but she learned that once she gets into the crib she doesn't come out until it's light outside. Another ten or so days after that she started sleeping through the night. I haven't done this with twins (yet!), but it could probably work. On ce you accept the fact that you will be miserably tired for a few weeks, it gets easier to handle and in the long run it helps you.

 

Schedule was our lifesaver, and still is to some degree. We read Moms on Call and followed it which was awesome. It suggests a schedule and a very distinct and repeatable bedtime routine. I don't recall where I heard it - but sometime I heard that sleep begets sleep - and it is so true! When they are over tired it is ridiculous, but when they were on the schedule they got more sleep and slept better! We did CIO with ds for three days, dd never needed it. Just made a habit of putting them to sleep drowsy but awake and they learned to soothe themselves to sleep. I don't know how it would work at your ages, but it seems like it is soon enough to just say naptime is at this time and put them in their beds at that time and see what happens, and then do a bedtime routine and put them into bed at the same time every night after doing the same bedtime things and hopefully that will teach them to put themselves to sleep and what to expect and when.