Comparing my twins, developmentally

I try very, very hard not to compare them because they are two different babies with two different milestone schedules. And up until now I've done a pretty darn good job. But lately I've started feeling a little nervous about Grace.

Lily's been rolling all around for over 2 months now, and since Christmas she's added the army crawl, the regular crawl, and pulling up to her repertoire. She's also clapping, waving bye bye, and imitating the sounds we make (if she feels like it). Lily's also been sitting on her own for about 2 months, and now she can easily get herself from the sitting position.

Grace rolls, but only from her back to her tummy (in one direction). I can count on one hand the number of occasions that I've seen her roll from her tummy back to her back. She doesn't go anywhere with her rolling, just to her tummy to get at a toy. Even if we put a toy just out of her reach, she'll stretch for it, but not actually move for it. She does do the swim, which Lily did at first too. She's been sitting on her own for about a month now, but still doesn't get out of the sitting position. I did get her to wave bye by the other day, but no clapping yet. She talks just as well as Lily for the most part, but I think Lily knows what mama means now. And Grace will pull herself up to standing if she's got our arms to grab onto, but never attempts to do it on a toy or anything else.

So I guess I'm stressing because I am feeling like Grace is way more behind Lily than 9 weeks (they were 9 weeks early). And I am curious whether other babies out there never really made any attempt to "move" before walking. Maybe Grace will just up and walk and skip all the other stuff??? Her legs are really strong and she loves to stand.

I don't know, guess I just had to write it down. They have Synagis shots on Thursday so I will once again ask the pedi, but they always say she's within range for normal.

Oh, and on the eating front, they handle table foods pretty much equally well. Grace is pickier than Lily, but other than that they do okay.

 

I try very, very hard not to compare them because they are two different babies with two different milestone schedules. And up until now I've done a pretty darn good job. But lately I've started feeling a little nervous about Grace.

Lily's been rolling all around for over 2 months now, and since Christmas she's added the army crawl, the regular crawl, and pulling up to her repertoire. She's also clapping, waving bye bye, and imitating the sounds we make (if she feels like it). Lily's also been sitting on her own for about 2 months, and now she can easily get herself from the sitting position.

Grace rolls, but only from her back to her tummy (in one direction). I can count on one hand the number of occasions that I've seen her roll from her tummy back to her back. She doesn't go anywhere with her rolling, just to her tummy to get at a toy. Even if we put a toy just out of her reach, she'll stretch for it, but not actually move for it. She does do the swim, which Lily did at first too. She's been sitting on her own for about a month now, but still doesn't get out of the sitting position. I did get her to wave bye by the other day, but no clapping yet. She talks just as well as Lily for the most part, but I think Lily knows what mama means now. And Grace will pull herself up to standing if she's got our arms to grab onto, but never attempts to do it on a toy or anything else.

So I guess I'm stressing because I am feeling like Grace is way more behind Lily than 9 weeks (they were 9 weeks early). And I am curious whether other babies out there never really made any attempt to "move" before walking. Maybe Grace will just up and walk and skip all the other stuff??? Her legs are really strong and she loves to stand.

I don't know, guess I just had to write it down. They have Synagis shots on Thursday so I will once again ask the pedi, but they always say she's within range for normal.

Oh, and on the eating front, they handle table foods pretty much equally well. Grace is pickier than Lily, but other than that they do okay.

 

I totally know how you feel. Obviously, anytime you are really worried about milestones, the ped is the only one you should rely on for answers but if it helps to ease your concern a little, you are not alone!

They seem to really be meeting totally different milestones at totally different times. Arwen was able to hold her head up with much control at 2 days old. Lorien at 3 months. Arwen took to solids at 4 months, Lorien at 5 1/2 months. Arwen was able to sit up unassisted at 6 months, Lorien at 6 months 3 weeks. Arwen has rolled over maybe 6 or 7 times in her life thus far and Lorien rolls all over the place in both directions all day long. Arwen started clapping at 7 1/2 months, Lorien has never clapped. Arwen waves bye bye (though I don't think she understands what it means), Lorien has never even really attempted (although I think she MIGHT have done it today when we were watching Go Baby Go on Disney channel). Arwen seems perfectly content to just sit in one spot and doesn't make much attempt to move herself. She'll reach for a toy and then just kind of fall over and lay there. Lorien has learned in the past few days how to go from belly to a sitting position. Arwen has no teeth yet and Lorien just popped her first about 5 days ago.

I also think Arwen is going to just skip the whole rolling and crawling phase and will probably just up and walk like nothing one day. But I will ask the ped if there is concern at their up coming 9 month check up. HTH??

 

It sounds like they are doing great! My babies were born 8 weeks early and are almost the same age as yours. A few weeks younger, but neither of them waves bye or claps and they don't imitate the sounds we make, although they do respond if we imitate the sounds THEY are making.

My son is crawling and sitting, but my daughter is just sitting and rolling and swimming.

They both are eating the same solids, my son eats a ton more and is bigger, my daughter is very petite (she weighs 14 pounds and is long).

We are doing early intervention which helps keep my mind at ease. Each visit they get tested on certain skills and so far we have been told they are both doing fine. I think your one daughter who is crawling is just an early developer. My husband's aunt is a pediatric nurse and she said on average babies crawl around 9 monhts, ACTUAL age.

Hope that helps!
Mona

 

Susan- I think it's hard not to compare b/c you have 2 babies in front of you who are technically the same age so it's natural to compare.

In my opinion I think a lot of it has to do with personality too! Lily may just have a more outgoing, spunky personality where Gracie is just laid back and taking it all in. I also think Lily may be doing things a tad bit early if you consider adjusted age and Grace may just be on track or a couple weeks behind which is totally ok!
Now that I look at the things Cooper is doing and correct his age I think he may just be a little more advanced. He is pulling up on everything, climbs through things, trying to cruise and let go of things. When he falls he's like a noodle and so limber, just pops right back up. Eli on the other hand is just trying to follow his brother and pull up with our help. We can let go of him while he's holding on to something and he will hold on for dear life b/c he doesn't know how to let go and when he does he falls like a tree(and of course cries). Cooper just started waving bye bye yesterday but Eli looks at us like we are NUTS when we try to get him to do it. They just have 2 VERY different personalities. As long as Lily is close to her milestones with her adjusted age try not to worry.

Just for example Cooper rolled everywhere for a couple of months before ever army crawling and Eli just layed there barely rolling over. About the time Cooper started to army crawl Eli decided to roll over and then roll places but not for very long(maybe 2 weeks) then he started to army crawl. He drags one leg when he army crawls(which makes us nervous of course) and now he's trying to pull up. He doesn't get himself to sitting position by himself, just out of sitting BUT he sits much straighter and better than Cooper ever did. My point is maybe Lily will be more like that and spend very little time on each new thing like Eli once she decides she is ready. Also consider Grace is heftier than Lily(I think?) and has more weight to maneuver which is also Eli's case, he has a bigger belly and head where Cooper is long and lean. More for Eli to move around, LOL

One thing we do with Eli is work on helping him pull up by getting his hands in ours while on his belly and making him get to the standing position. We also kept trying to "show" him how to army crawl by getting him on his belly and putting our hands behind/under his feet to where he would push off.

 

I do know how you feel.

I was always comparing mine with each other, and worse comparing them to what other babies around their age were doing. What I wasn't putting into perspective was that all the babies I was comparing mine to were full term, and weighed more at birth...

I think we are guilty of doing this.

 

Susan, I know it's SO hard not to compare!! Especially whent he differences are that big. I would be concerned as well. Sounds like your Mommy Instincts are kicking in!! I would push your pedi a little for an Early Intervention Evaluation (Free in most states) and JUST HAVE HER CHECKED by SOMEONE ELSE.

Tell your doc.... "I know you say she's in the normal range, but I have a feeling that something isn't right. Could we PLEASE get her an EI evaluation?"

You likely have nothing to worry about, but why keep guessing. Get answers Good luck and let us know what happens!

 

my babes are 2 months older then yours and were 3 wks more mature at birth. I have a lot of the same problems. Except that we get physical therapy and occupational therapy. The things I keyed on reading what you wrote were the rolling only one way while back to front. Assymetrical development is more concerning than one being faster, which honestly, your quicker child is ahead of either of my babes at that age. With what little I read and little I know about baby developement now, I would insist on a pt eval. Here the state pays for it all. See if your state has a simliar program. It's really great here. They come to my house. The boys get 4 visits a month combined from specialists.

You are your child's best advocate. Issues are best dealt with early.

gl!

 

It is very funny you posted this, I swear I could have written about the same thing for my two. My boy is everywhere, my little girl could really care less, except she does like standing up! Just this week...(her brother has been army crawling for forever), she has started to scoot around. It is tough not to compare, they are right next to each other for crying out loud!

Try not to stress, you do have to factor in the prematurity, differences in babies, and the fact that crawling isn't really a milestone since not all babies bother with this. Maybe she will stand right up soon and surprise ya!

 

I think it is natural to do this, even if we have healthy full term babies. I have done this with both of mine as well and they were only 5 weeks early. We have to remember that all children are different. Even now I will wonder if my 5 year old is doing what other 5 year olds are doing as far as his development. It's the worries of parenthood. We do it to ourselves. Don't worry, unless someone (of authority) tells you that you need to worry. You are being a mom and in reality, that is a good thing!