Concerns about 3 1/2 y.o. memory

I am a little concerned about my 3 1/2 year old son's memory. We went on vacation for 1 week and when we came home he couldn't remember the neighbors kids names and we play with them regularly. But, when we told him their names he acted as if he did remember. He also goes to daycare one day a week and when he comes home I will ask him who he played with, what he did or what he ate etc. He can only tell me that he played with his friend Eli (my best friends son). This seems odd to me that he can't tell me more specifics. SHould I be concerned? I have not noticed anything else with his memory that is concerning.

 

Kids have very selective memories and (my kids, at least) also a resistance to being asked direct questions. I will ask them what they had for lunch and they say they can't remember, but then an hour later they say, "Remember that day [a year ago] when I was home sick and we went to the new park with the big blue slide and then we had muffins?" I wouldn't worry about it -- their brains just don't work the same way as ours.

 

Sounds a lot like my son who's 7. I think much of it is the difference b/w girls and boys! My boy doesn't give details unless he brings up the subject and is really interested in it. My girls talks about the fly on the wall and describes everything in detail. Maybe you can ask him what his favorite thing he did at school - that way he'll tell you what he thought was important - vs what you really want to know and then maybe you can ask what you want to know after he mentions his favorite things!

 

Mine are a bit younger, but like Alden said, their interest in questions is very selective. They are also not really interested in people's names (sometimes I'll ask them the name of the boy they played with at the park, and they'll say "He didn't have a name!"). I also think that ability to remember and inclination to answer questions about what they remember are two different things. Mine will give me a blank stare about a question and then remember crazy details from a long time ago.

 

My girls don't seem to remember unless they bring it up on their own. They still have trouble remembering my best friends girls' names and we get together with them several times a month.

 

Yes my girls only remember if they tell me. If I ask it's i don't know all the way