Confessions of a horrible mother

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by tfrost, Jan 18, 2010.

  1. tfrost

    tfrost Well-Known Member

    OK, so the topic title is a bit dramatic, but I do feel bad for prolonging trying to get my babies into a better naptime routine. They turn one year in less than a month and I am stumped about how get into a better nap routine. Since they were born so early, we swaddled them for months and they napped well in swings early on. They would nap at least twice a day that way for an hour and a half or sometimes two hours for each nap. Then when my husband got home from work, we would hold them and let them nap a little before their bedtime bottles. That evening nap is long gone which is fine, but their daytime napping is a nightmare now.

    Since they've gotten so big, and out of shear embarrassment for having swaddled them for so long for naps, we stopped the swaddles a couple of months ago :blush: (yes, I had 9 month olds that had to be swaddled for naps).

    Well, I've tried everything for weeks since then to get them to nap. I've tried holding them both until they fell asleep, I've tried putting them in sleep sacks since that usually signals sleepytime at night, I've tried the Ferber method of letting them whine and cry and checking on them at longer intervals, and I briefly tried CIO. Letting them cry does NOT work, and it's not because I feel bad for letting them cry (though I admit it's not fun). I have pukers, and when they get too worked up from crying, they puke...all over the bed, all over their clothes, they roll around and get it in their hair. It's not pretty. So CIO unfortunately isn't an option for me right now. They are going through PT to help with puking/feeding issues, but I'm not sure that will help the crying-puking.

    Anyone out there have any suggestions on what I can do to get these tired little babies to nap? Without swings, without swaddles, without puking? I thought that maybe they were getting ready to drop one of their naps during the day, but they are so exhausted at their regular naptimes (around 11:00 a.m. and around 3:00 p.m.). They just won't let themselves nap. I've even resorted to driving them around town just to get them to nap. I can't keep driving around neighborhoods in my town. I think some folks think I'm casing their neighborhoods :) Please help!!!!
  2. lovelylily

    lovelylily Well-Known Member

    Don't feel bad about swaddling so long, we did the same thing :) Different kids need different things. Anyhow, I used partial CIO, but mostly I helped them learn to sleep by setting a routine and being very consistent with it. Don't worry if you don't have one yet, it's never too late to start. My kiddos love to know what's coming next, it helps them figure out how to deal with it. I used a lot of other soothers after swaddling was done, like a stereo, sound machine, music boxes on the sides of their cribs. I would read books to them in their cribs, then make a big production about laying our heads down, getting all snuggled up with blankies, letting them know they were doing really good, etc. There was some tears, but no all out screaming. They've adjusted well with each stage, which has really surprised me because I broke every sleep rule in the book for the first 8-10 months. Be patient and persistent and it will pay off :)
  3. DATJMom

    DATJMom Well-Known Member

    I like Amanda's idea about staying in there and helping them learn how to soothe so that they dont start crying and puking. How about moving up their nap times up a bit? What time do they get up in the morning? Mine were up for about 2 hours in the morning and then we would start the soothing process. A few books, draw the shades, some songs, and then into the crib. Maybe you can sit in there and keep them calm but dont talk to them. Ignore them unless they are crying and then step in to soothe them with a shush pat or lay them down. They might get the hint. Be consistent. GL!
  4. chellebelle

    chellebelle Well-Known Member

    I know this is different but my lo's nap in their swings, my boy naps great and my girl screams and fusses til she (hopefully) falls asleep. Tonight I was desperate and so I turned on all of the lights instead of just one and some different swing music and voila within a few minutes she was sleeping!!! You just never know what will work so try anything you can think of even if it seems crazy. Heehee good luck!

    And LOL at casing the neighborhoods, I think we've all been there at some point in time. ;)
  5. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    When Olivia was a little, CIO wouldn't work for her either. I tried & tried but it became obvious that it just wasn't working. So, I would put on some calming music & stand and rub her back. Then, after a few days/weeks of that, I would just sit in a chair by the crib and that seemed to be enough. Eventually, I put the chair by the door, etc. It took some time, but eventually I was able to put her down without staying with her. More time consuming than CIO, but it worked.
  6. carlaj23

    carlaj23 Well-Known Member

    Like PP said, maybe a routine (lights turned off and music on is our cue) and then back rubbing and gradually backing off each time. With my DS (who is now 5), I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and I'm thinking that's were I got the idea from. This worked for my Alyse too. She would really work herself up w/ CIO too. Good luck. Be consistent and give each new thing some time.

    You are NOT a horrible mother. We swaddled for quite a while w/ our little ones too. :)
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