Consequences for damaging toys

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by FGMH, Jan 30, 2015.

  1. FGMH

    FGMH Well-Known Member

    Please help me think of some natural consequences for DS, now 5.5 years old. He is having a strain of damaging his siblings' toys because he is a bit careless and wild at times. It is never on purpose but it is getting old.
     
    For example: He will ask to borrow one of DD's books to read in bed and in the morning a page or two will be torn. Or, he played with baby boy's truck  and DD'S car yesterday and broke both, he says he was trying to examine how it works but he must have been pretty hard on the truck at least because baby toys are made for pretty rough handling by toddlers in my experience.
     
    Yesterday I asked him and DD to think about what a fair consequence might be or how he could make it up to her when he damages something of hers. So far, they have not been able to come up with an idea and I have not found any suggestions I like either. DH and I repair what we can repair but some things are beyond repair or not nice or not baby-safe afterwards anymore, and it does not really teach him a lesson.
     
    DD is very generous about sharing (except for a very few very special toys) and I love that trait so I do not want to suggest that she might stop allowing him to play with her things. But she is getting more and more upset with every time, and I can totally understand her.
     
     
     
     
     
  2. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Perhaps if there are some toys that he can fix himself (i.e. taping your DD's book page back together), I would have him do that.  Or if he gets some type of allowance, you have you break it, you buy it policy.  Or if he plays with a siblings toy, he has to give a sibling a toy of his in return and if his siblings return his toys in good condition, you can point out "Your sister took good care of your toy while she had it..."  And if he plays with something and returns it in good condition, point that out each and every time.
     
  3. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I know you said you don't want to suggest it but letting your daughter know that she doesn't need to loan items to her brother if she's concerned it won't be returned in good condition IS the natural consequence. As adults, that's how we function. It won't change her generous nature (except perhaps with her brother until he can earn her trust again) but letting her know that she can set limits that she is comfortable with is a very important lesson for her. And your son will learn that if he isn't careful with other people's belongings they will stop sharing with him. Sounds like a win-win to me.
     
    2 people like this.
  4. tarcoulis

    tarcoulis Well-Known Member

    If he breaks or damages someone else's belongings through carelessness or neglect they get to select one of his belongings to have as their own (permanently or for a set time, you decide).
     
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