Constantly wrestling!

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by eagleswings216, Nov 2, 2013.

  1. eagleswings216

    eagleswings216 Well-Known Member

    Do any of you deal with your twins constantly being on each other? My boys just won't stop lately and it's driving me bonkers!!!

    They are boys, so I expect active play, but they are always on each other here lately - sitting on their head, grabbing around the neck, throwing each other to the ground, etc. Both are equally to blame, but it always ends up in a minute or less that DH or I have to step in and separate or redirect them since one of them is screaming and it turns to hitting, etc. They even do it while watching a movie or playing iPad.

    We have done time outs, separating them, giving them something active to do (helping us, playing with favored toys, playing with them, structured active play), rewarding and praise when they play well, all that. Nothing seems to work for long, sometimes only a few minutes, and now DS2 just laughs and thinks it's funny when we correct them, so I end up yelling, which is not what I want to do at all.

    I know with the time change and colder weather, we will be inside more and it gets worse when we are inside more. There ARE times when they play well together, but those times seem so much less frequent than the fighting.

    I just get tired of fussing at them, and some nights I can't even make dinner hardly. If it didn't end up with someone hurt and crying, I would just let them wrestle, but they don't have enough self control yet to know when they need to stop, so that just doesn't work.

    Thanks for listening to me vent!!
  2. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Have you tried "sports casting"? It's a technique outlined in the book Siblings Without Rivalry. Basically you just announce what you see, like a sportscaster would: "I see two boys wrestling. A has knocked B to the floor. B is yelling to leave him alone. He sounds really upset." Etc. If something truly dangerous is happening (kicking, hitting, etc), you step in and gently but firmly stop the aggressor and calmly say "I will not let you hit./kick/etc" It's time intensive on your part at first but what you're teaching them is to stop and pay attention on their own and realize when something is not fun for their sibling. It's pretty awesome when they start doing it in their own.
  3. eagleswings216

    eagleswings216 Well-Known Member

    I haven't done exactly that, but I try to make them aware of what they are doing (like "your brother is asking you to stop.  That means you need to stop".  Or "your brother is crying.  That means it's time to stop").  So far they don't seem to get that.
  4. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    When sports casting you want to be careful not to a) assign value to what you see and b) provide solutions.  It won't immediately stop the yelling/fighting/screaming/noise/etc but provides the children an opportunity to practice conflict resolution on their own. It's more about just giving them your full attention and support while they do it themselves.  As I said, it's very time intensive.
    I just came across this post this morning too which you may find helpful.
Similar Threads Forum Date
3 year old twins boss parents constantly suggestions please. The Toddler Years(1-3) Apr 12, 2019
Constantly hungry The First Year Apr 11, 2016
One bully, one victim...constantly. The Toddler Years(1-3) Sep 23, 2013
One twin constantly criticizing the other Childhood and Beyond (4+) Nov 19, 2012
14 months and wanting to nurse constantly The First Year Feb 7, 2012

Share This Page