Differences in school readiness?

Hello all. My twins are not yet 5, but I wanted the experiences of people who have already been there. I wanted to know if anyone has dealt with one twin being more ready for school than the other and how you handled it?

I have B/G twins who turned 4 in June, so they are young for their class. They are in pre-K now and this is their first school experience. We had parent-teacher conferences last night and Zoe is doing great. Social butterfly, has mastered all the cognitive topics, only needs to work on holding a pencil. Honestly, she could probably do kindergarten right now if we put her in. Xavier, on the other hand, has issues. She said she has concerns about his maturity, that he has personal space issues, and doesn't stay focused on topics. Cognitively, he is awesome, and she says it surprises her how much he knows when he actually does focus himself.

So, I know this is only first quarter, but I am really worried about what will happen if he doesn't mature before the end of the school year. I don't want to separate them into different grades but I also don't want to hold back my daughter who will be more than ready. Has anyone else had this situation? Is there anything I can do to make him mature more? I feel like a failure as a parent that I didn't send them to preschool earlier now!

 

The difference between new 4 and new 5 is huge! So don't worry too much so early. Beyond that, the issues she's seeing seem really, really typical for a four year old boy. My four year old boy was in daycare/preschool from 8 weeks and had similar issues with boundaries and focus. Plus, he's new to preschool? You have no reason to be worried yet and no reason to feel bad. Work with him on the issues she's raising, but don't worry too much at all.

 

I agree with Rachael. Girls mature at a faster rate than boys, so it's not surprising to me that your DD appears right on track with everything, while your son appears to be a little more immature. Unless there are really major issues, I wouldn't worry. They may be a little off balance for a couple more years before they even out a bit.
 
My twins aren't B/G, but my boys have a sister a year older. The difference between where she was at 5, 6, 7 and where they've been at those same ages has been fairly substantial, behaviorally, academically and emotionally. This year things, for my boys, are finally settling down a bit and they're doing really well.

 

Like the others said, there is a huge amount of growth over the next 9 month!  But, keep in mind that if you have seasoned preschool teacher, they have an idea of where kids should be at this time of the year.  One option, which can give you piece of mind, is to request an evaluation through your school system.  They will test him, observe him, etc.  If he does have a real problem, they can identify it, and help him through it.  If he is OK, you have the piece of mind of knowing you had him checked out.
 
My son who read at age 3, also had a severe expressive speech delay, which caused some behavioral problems as well.  He was evaluated, and ended up in the preschool disabled program--the first kid she ever had who could read!  He went to K without any special ed services. His brother was fine socially, but went to K not reading.  Now in 6th grade, the one who didn't read in K is in Honors for math and language arts, the other is in Honors for math, but still struggles with language arts--struggles with a low A--so not too bad off  
 
Good luck!