discouraged by public outings with twins

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by Jalexbrett, Nov 26, 2015.

  1. Jalexbrett

    Jalexbrett New Member

    Like any twin mom, I've grown used to the gawking, unsolicited advice, touching without permission, crowding and obstruction when I'm just going about my business. I'm proud of my new found ability to put on a smile and make the best of it.

    But now I'm experiencing something new and do not know how to handle it: my infant twins are now 8 mos, and we've got a good handle on wrangling them plus their 3 yo sister, so much so that we've begun airport travel, going to restaurants, etc. woohoo! Getting out of the house feels great!

    Well, not so much. For the first time I've started to experience some real discrimination for I guess 'having too many small children in tow'. Which pains me because the girls are so well behaved, we are efficient and really do not impose on others. Yet we have the hosts that won't seat us, and the flight attendants who roll their eyes and scold us for using a dual stroller, and otherwise people who budge and try to push past us any way they can, in seeming anticipation that we are a slowly moving trainwreck-which we are not.

    I know there is nothing that can be done, just wondering if there are others who feel as defeated as I do-and how you handled it.

    Happy thanksgiving!
  2. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    You ignore them;). I had 3 in 18 months so we got gawking at the all time high. Going to restaurants we would be seated in the back...alone...away from all the other guests it seemed. You just learn to ignore the looks and keep on doing what you're doing. You can't stay home forever just b you have small kids:)
    1 person likes this.
  3. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    This exactly.  Go about your business and ignore the people with their stares, comments, etc.  You cannot be a prisoner in your home because you have small children.
  4. weegus

    weegus Well-Known Member

    I have experienced similar things when out with my crew (I had 4 under 4 at one point)... people seated near us in restaurants ask to be moved, people staring and pointing, dumb comments, and even an usher in our church asked us to sit away from the front.  My kids are pretty well behaved in public so when stuff like this happens, it does bother me.  I've learned to just let it go, otherwise it just festers and makes me angry!  One comment, though, had me feeling pretty defeated.  I overheard two mothers at the preschool talking about how I had "way too many kids and better be done" having them because I couldn't control the ones I have.  Again, my kids were energetic but were not misbehaving.  That one didn't shake off easily and it really bothered me for some time.  So I can relate and tell you that as they get older, the rudeness isn't as bad!
  5. I didn't know that was thing but I suppose I'll find out soon. Just ignore it.

    As far as being seated away from everyone at a restaurant. They know you want to enjoy yourself and they are make every attempt to make that possible. They are hoping that you can relax better without everyone looking at you or worrying about how loud your little angles are.

    I use to work at Outback so I know that at least there, they were respectful!
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