Do you feel "crunchy" because you're BFing?

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by Dielle, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    Ok, I'm probably more sensitive to this because my SIL can drive me nuts. She seems to think pretty much everything I do is categorically wrong. We just could not be two more different people, I think. A person we both know posted on FB about her 1 yo biting whenever she nurses since she started learning to walk last week. Another gal and I were offering suggestions back and forth and then my SIL posted this: "OK we all know I'm definately not a crunch or semi-crunchy mom. So, just to offer you a different perspective...sounds to me like it's time to be done. At one they are able to eat and drink enough to get all the nutrition that they need." First off, you know I think she's wrong. But the most annoying part of it to me is that I feel she just writes off everyone who does any of the things she'd never consider, like extended BFing (I think she might have nursed her 2 boys for a month each... and I was surprised to even hear that), using a sling, etc. as "crunchy" and dismisses it. Besides being family, we also live 1/2 mile apart and go to church together. Otherwise, I'd have an easier time ignoring her. So this post is more venting than anything, obviously, LOL!

    Do you feel crunchy? I don't wear birkenstocks, shop organic, or do yoga. I did use a sling (but also a stroller), co-sleep, homeschool and extended bf my babies.
     
  2. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I don't feel crunchy at all & I had a home birth & made my placenta into pills. I also co-sleep as needed, BF forever, baby wear & cloth diaper. On the other hand, I don't eat organic or grow my own food. I still use shampoo & toilet paper and I vaccinated my children.

    I think a big problem with terms like "crunchy" is that it means something totally different to different people. I expect there are people in my life who think I'm way crunchy but then I know people who are *really* crunchy so I don't feel like I am. :pardon:

    The other thing that is bothersome about her labeling you & others in that way is that it allows her to effectively dismiss any choice you've made that's different than hers without actually having to think about it or acknowledge your choice as a valid one among many. It also allows her to avoid examining her own choices overly much.
     
  3. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I grew up in the Midwest but now live in Colorado. Compared to the meat and potatoes gal I used to be? Absolutely. Compared to people I grew up with who are having kids in the Midwest? Yep. However, I consider it a change for the better. I didn't have a car for the first 2 years out here- in MI nobody walks or takes public transportation as their primary mode of transit. Yes, I know people who breastfed, but typically for only 6 months or a year at the outset. My own mom around 7 months thought I should wean. I want to do a natural childbirth (and part of me wants to do it at home) while friends of mine are POd to not have an induction date just because they are tired of being pregnant. I know I eat better, exercise more and am less processed and more natural than I would have been in my previous, homogenous environment. And I'm glad of it.
     
  4. twinmom2dana

    twinmom2dana Well-Known Member

    What the heck is "crunchy"
     
  5. lharrison1

    lharrison1 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    The term for someone who is granola-ish, (LOL) hippy, organic etc...

    I used cloth diapers, have a veg. garden, I recycle, and I used a sling. I mostly pumped for my kids for about 6-9 months, used a stroller, we hit up McDonald's once in a while, and I vaccinate.
    I dont feel crunchy, LOL!!!

    I think I would have to comment back to my sil or maybe ask out loud in the post if your friend was asking for advice on how to get baby to stop biting or if she was asking for opinions on whether or not to wean. But that's my passive aggressive way of dealing with annoying sil's!
     
  6. twinmom2dana

    twinmom2dana Well-Known Member

    I looked it up, lol! According to the quiz I took :rolleyes: while I am not "crunchy" I am most certainly "crispy" :rotflmbo:
     
    2 people like this.
  7. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    So I went and found that same quiz, I think. http://themoralesfamily.us/granola.htm for anyone interested Maybe I'm crunchier than I thought... I got a 102 which is "Mmm! Love that whole-grain crunch!" I put in what I thought my SIL's answers would be and came up with 17. And it wouldn't be that high, but she rarely wears makeup and gardens some.

    Rachel's right though. I'm annoyed at the label in her post because it just basically says to me, "those are dumb choices I would never consider."

    Lesley, I was going to say something like that... that her post was asking for help. I knew it was because I know her and she's quite a bit "crunchier" than me, LOL (cloth diapers, way more into gardening and baking everything, making it all from scratch, never uses a stroller, etc). But because of supply issues and lack of information she wasn't able to BF her 2 older daughters, so this is her first go round with everything about BF. But she didn't actually ask for help, just posted about what was going on. So I didn't say anything.

    But my SIL is like this for everything. If you say something either positive or negative about something in your life that she doesn't agree with, she'll tell you why her way is better. We homeschool and a couple of years ago (before I stopped mentioning anything about it to her) I was telling her about a very special moment I'd had with one of my boys and sort of an epiphany (and rather spiritual moment) I'd had about why I felt prompted to homeschool when he was still a baby. Homeschooling is definitely the best choice for this child who is dyslexic and likely has ADD, but has wonderful other aptitudes that just wouldn't be tapped in school. All she could do was tell me about the remedial help he'd get in school, how no one would EVER label him (because kids don't do that), and how it would really be better to put him in school. So now it's just going through the motions of keeping the peace with her, because I'm so annoyed by their family and how they treat ours so much of the time. Thanks guys for letting me vent... and helping me find out I'm a little crunchier than I thought, hahaha.
     
  8. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Ha! That quiz made me laugh. I got 109 which is about what I thought - on the crunchy side of average. :good:
     
  9. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    I don't give someone the 'crunchy' label until they start imposing their ideas on me. I'm okay with people doing whatever they want with their kids: breastfeeding, formula, co-sleeping, making them sleep in the barn, wearing, not wearing, etc. (Except not vaccinating, that's the only one that gets my goat.) Until they start telling me why my choices are wrong, they are just parents.

    I had a mom at my son's martial arts class tell me how terrible formula feeding was just because I politely turned her down when she offered to give me her old breast pump. When she was done, I simply said that I already had one. Thanks for jumping the gun, lady, and earning your title as 'crunchy.'
     
  10. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    89-60 Pretty crispy!


    I scored 80. Hmm...

    I'd say she is insecure because she has not had the opportunity of nursing past when she has weaned (I think you stated that she had supply issues.) Perhaps she feels that way because she just has not experienced it. I feel judged by my mom with my choices. She was even asking the propane guy about my gassy babies.. (btw: he suggested soy formula.)

    :hug: You are a strong woman Dielle!
     
  11. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    I'm crunchy and I know it. But breastfeeding is the least of the things that make me "crunchy". I'm wearing birkenstocks (with socks!) and a hand-knit, naturally-dyed organic-wool sweater right now! :ibiggrin:

    ETA: I'm surprised I only got 128 of 225--but the quiz is very North-American centric, a lot of my choices which are both "crunchy" and "not crunchy" are dictated by my location and what is or isn't available to us.
     
  12. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Jackie! I don't think that my SIL had supply issues, just chose not to nurse for very long. I do kind of think she feels insecure, like somehow all of my choices which are different from hers must mean that I think her choices are all wrong, when really they're just not the right choices for me and our family. My best friend has just 1 child, works full time, lives in town in an apartment, would never homeschool, didn't nurse past a year, has never grown a garden, is a different race and from a different country than I am. It's not like I only surround myself with people who have the same life/lifestyle I do. But I get the distinct impression from my SIL that she thinks somehow my choices are judging hers.
     
  13. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    109 and loving it! There are a few things that don't apply right now like homeschooling- I think about it seriously but haven't had to make a decision yet. Maybe I'll get up to the next tier in a few years. :woo:
     
  14. Lindala25

    Lindala25 Well-Known Member

    I think she was using a passive-agressive way to insult folks that do breastfeed for a more extended amount of time... breastfeeding a baby that is likely just around 1 year old (since learning to walk)can't yet be called extended breastfeeding in my book so definitely not even crispy ;-)
     
  15. SC

    SC Well-Known Member

    That's funny. I thought she made the word up when I read this. Have never heard of "crunchy." I have heard of "granola." I also do not believe that BF makes you crunchy.... at all. Maybe extended BFing makes you more crunchy. I doubt anyone would ever consider me crunchy. I have delayed and spaced some vaccines, we eat and use a lot of organic, I made my own baby food, and we are big recyclers, but I will never co-sleep or homeschool and only occasionally baby-wear.
    That word is so silly-sounding!
    BTW, it sounds like your SIL is a little insecure :).
     
  16. slugrad1998

    slugrad1998 Well-Known Member

    LOL. I consider myself to be the farthest from crunchy possible and I scored a 69. I do vaccinate, I will not homeschool, I do not co-sleep (but do room in), I am a busy working mom and thus I do not cloth diaper or make my own perfectly organic babyfood...but I breastfed my twins for 19 months and would have done it longer but they chose to wean. I am passionate about breastfeeding and I think that makes me someone who wants to give my baby the best start possible. Working in medicine, one of my goals is to really try to normalize breastfeeding in our society, so that it is not something that makes us carry a label like crunchy. It should be expected that people breastfeed and an anomaly that they don't. People like your SIL have been brainwashed by the formula companies and the millions of dollars they have poured into advertising. And any time you want to wring her neck, just remember that breastfed babies have on average 10 points higher IQ than those who are not. So, when she is calling you crunchy, think, "That's ok, your kids will be working for my kids some day!" [​IMG]
     
    2 people like this.
  17. E&Msmom

    E&Msmom Well-Known Member

    I scored 143 and YES Im crunchy :) But don't worry, I consider it a compliment!!!!! So much better than being "industrialized" or "mainstream". and I agree with PP that said crunchy means something different to everyone. I think to the people who aren't crunchy when they talk about "us" they say it as a derogatory term, but from one crunchy breastfeeding mom to another, I'd consider it a compliment.
     
  18. A lot of people like to criticize other people's parenting choices. I always take it as representing insecurity in their own parenting, rather than any reflection on me. I have had to block a couple of extended family members because they insisted on being derogatory and negative all the time, though, not to mention having dismissed quite a few "friends". Some of the moms in my homeschool group are so annoying I just take a novel with me and pretend I'm deaf while the kids play sometimes, lol. So I feel your pain!

    I am VERY crunchy by mainstream standards. Got a 152 on that crunch test, lol. But really, I'm just doing what works for me and my family. There are lots of valid choices. I'm well aware that I got lucky in being able to breastfeed as long and easily as I did, and wouldn't look down on anyone who decides supplementing or weaning earlier is best for them.
     
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