Do you put your child in the tub while the tap water is running?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by sbcowell, Sep 2, 2009.

  1. sbcowell

    sbcowell Well-Known Member

    Please help me! My DH constantly puts our children into the bathtub and then turns the water on. He does stay and watch them the entire time, but he leaves the tap running, and they play with that water. I have been raised and told numerous times growing up that you should NEVER put a child in a bathtub and leave the water running, as the water temperature can change very quickly and they could easily be burned. I am nearly in tears because my DH will NOT listen to this reasoning. Am I being too paranoid, do many other parents leave the tap water running with their children in the bathtub, or is my DH putting our children at undue risk? Does anyone have any stories or links to websites that talk about this being either a good or bad practice? I really need help!
     
  2. rmcobb12

    rmcobb12 Well-Known Member

    I was lurking in this forum and although mine are not yet 1 this is something I can answer. I always give my LOs baths while my DH makes sure their beds are ready and stuff is cleaned up off their floor. I start the water and once the temperature is OK I put them in the tub while it is running. I am there with them the entire time and I will continue to circulate the water with my hand to make sure that the water temp is not changing. As long as you don't go off and leave them and you make sure the water and the children are safe, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I know several other parents that do the same and have never heard of anything bad happening. If your DH is like mine, and I'm sure he is, he loves your children as much as you do and would not do anything to harm them. Just be thankful that he is a Dad that likes to help out!
     
  3. caba

    caba Banned

    Another guilty party here ... I start the water, get the temperature correct, and then put them in while it's filling. I don't leave the bathroom at this point, and I will check the water occasionally ... I honestly never really thought that the water temp could change THAT fast that it would burn them ...
     
  4. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I don't ever put them in while the water is running. I fill the tub and then let them get in. For the reasons that you stated.
     
  5. twinsnowwhat

    twinsnowwhat Well-Known Member

    Interesting topic - we usually fill the tub most of the way, but then sometimes let them play with the water that is coming from the faucet. Does your water temp fluctuate when you shower? I know ours does, but only if someone else turns the water on somewhere else in the house like the dish washer or flush the toilet. If no one else does this while the babies bathing and you haven’t experienced it yourself than maybe it is okay. But on the other hand if it is that important to you I don’t see why your husband would comply with your request, doesn’t seem to me like you are asking too much.
     
  6. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    I've done it, although I usually don't, but only because I know that temperature doesn't fluctuate here. I think it really depends on where you live, in our old house the water would get too hot if someone flushed the toilet for example.
     
  7. LeeandJenn15

    LeeandJenn15 Well-Known Member

    Guilty - never even thought about it being an issue. We have always put them in while the water was running. Growing up taking baths, that was part of the fun of it. There was something about a tub that only had a thin layer of water in it slowly growing to be above your waist. Plus, my toddler loves playing with the steady stream coming down.

    I've never noticed issues with water temperature changing that quickly in the bathtub, either growing up or currently. The only time water temp changes without me turning a knob is when we are running out of hot water, and that's gradual and wouldn't hurt anyone anyway.
     
  8. cjk2002

    cjk2002 Well-Known Member

    I' do and have never had an issue. They like to play with the water as it comes out. I'll also turn it on when it's time to rinse their hair or if I need to add more water to the tub because they have figured out how to pull open the drain.

    I have never had an issue with the water temp fluctuating in my house. If I did, they yes, I would not leave the water running while they were in the tub.
     
  9. Maymay

    Maymay Well-Known Member

    My concern would actually be a different issue. I worry that they would want to turn on the water themselves and not know the difference between the hot and cold tap.
    Obviously with supervision this wouldn't be an issue but as a teenager I knew a girl who when she was about 3 or 4 wanted to take a bath so she went into the bathroom and drew a bath. She only turned on the hot water and got in the tub. She got bad burns all down her legs and even at 18, her skin looked like melted candle wax.
    I guess that has always made me really sensitive to hot water issues. I suppose its kind of a story that wouldn't happen so easily today because we're all more aware that our water heaters shouldn't be set so high and I think we generally watch our kids a little more closely but if you wanted a horror story, I guess that's one.
     
  10. AimeeThomp

    AimeeThomp Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I turn the water on and get it the right temp and then put the girls in the tub, while the water is still on. If I waited until the tub was full and the water was off I would have to put up with two tantrums the entire time. It's hard enough to get them to wait until I get the water the right temp. I don't leave the room with the water running though, I'm right there with them the entire time. Every now and then after I wash the girls I'll go get their jammies ready while they are still in the tub, but by that time the water is off.

    I don't think my girls would try to turn the water on themselves b/c they've felt what burning hot water feels like so they don't mess with faucets. The tub in my bathroom has a leaky faucet - when the water is on it drips underneath where you turn it and Amelia stuck her hand out and touched it after I told her not to so it burned her. It's only a drip so it didn't give her a burn and they've never tried to touch it again.
     
  11. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    Ditto.
     
  12. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    I don't put them in until the bath has finished running. Maybe my kids are just odd but they love to run around naked like crazy things while the bath runs. :lol:
     
  13. nateandbrig

    nateandbrig Well-Known Member

    We're another family that puts them in the baths while the water is running. My dh gives the baths and since this is his method I just make sure that the water heater tempeture is low, so even if they were to turn it all the way to hot it wouldn't be burning hot, kwim? I love that my dh does baths, it gives me time to get everything else ready and cleaned up from dinner, so I do everything to help him make things easier on himself and if that's they way he wants to do it, then so be it.

    I guess my advice would be to turn down your water heater so you don't have to worry about them being burned. Good luck!
     
  14. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    What is your water heater set at? If it's 120 (like it should be), then it's very unlikely they could be badly burned. 120 degree water feels very hot and they'll pull back and cry but it won't cause 2nd or 3rd degree burns.

    And yes, I've been running the water with the kids in the tub since they were old enough to sit up without a hand on them and they love the splashing effect. They did watch me use the handle and learn to operate it themselves quite young (which I have permitted) and they have been giving themselves supervised baths with minimal help for quite a while.

    SO, while I do see how your husband would feel the way he does, I also see a problem with ignoring your concerns. Parenting is a team effort.

    ETA: temps given in Fahrenheit...
     
  15. twinmuffin

    twinmuffin Well-Known Member

    I do the baths, and I start the water. While the tub is filling up we get undressed and try to use the toilet. That is usually enough time for the tub to fill up to my liking (which is not very high at all). So no, I don't put them in while the water is running. But, in all honesty, if my DH wanted to give the girls their baths, I would let him do it, and let it go. He could do it anyway he liked and it would be fine with me, because I might actually get a 10 minute break. Turn your hot water heater down and let your DH give your kids a bath his way. Go do something else, and don't worry about it. (Just my opinion, that's what I would do)
     
  16. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    We have nearly always left them in the tub with the water running, but I check the temperature often (although in our case, it's to make sure it's not too cold). Unless they are messing with the taps, I can't see why the water would suddenly get hotter. Playing with the running water is their favorite part of bathtime.
     
  17. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    :blush: I always put them in while the water is running and for about two years now I've also been turning on the shower for them because they like it when it "rains" in there. I've never had an issue with the water changing degrees that quickly. I do think your husband should listen to your concerns and you two should come to an agreement where neither of you is upset. :hug:
     
  18. melissak

    melissak Well-Known Member

    Absolutely not! My guys would most likely be fascinated by it, grab the knob and turn it to scalding hot and burn themselves. It only takes a second! I heard a story on the Today Show a year or so ago about a couple whose daugther got scalded in the tub by accident and she died from the burns. Just not worth the risk in my opinion!!! You should also make sure your hot water heater is set to a cettain temperature so children will not get scalded, can't remeber what that temp is though, I think no hotter then 120 degrees.
     
  19. sruth

    sruth Well-Known Member

    My husband does the bath the same way your DH does while I make the bottles and dinner for the girls. However the issue really is that you don't like it and don't want him to do it that way, period. If I have an major issue with something my DH does with the girls (like hang them upside down by their ankles!) Even though he is strong/trustworthy and they LOVE it, it's just one of those things I choose for him not to do and my DH can think of me as a paranoid mother, that's fine. But he respects me enough to just give me this one thing and I think maybe this is the one thing (for now :) ) that your husband can give you regardless if it's safe or not.
     
  20. Rach1137

    Rach1137 Well-Known Member

    Like some pp, I turn the water on and get it to the right temp and then put them in the bath while it is filling. My reasoning is that our water temp doesn't change while I'm in the shower unless I've drained the hot water heater, so why would it change while I'm running their bath water. They love to play with the water coming out and our hot water heater is set at 120 degrees so it never gets scalding hot anyways.
    I know in my parents house which is the house I grew up in, which is old with old pipes this was more of an issue so when the boys take a bath there I don't do it.
     
  21. maybell

    maybell Well-Known Member

    we get the water started, and sometimes they get in while the water is still going. we don't have any water temp changes so it work for us.

    one thing I have not put much though into is that they would want to at some point change the knobs themselves... ours are quite a bit higher, but we do need to be aware of that. thanks for bringing that part up.

    hopefully you and your dh can get together on the running water or not while the kids are in there... my husband does bath time mostly, and it is nice to a few free moments to get PJs ready etc.
     
  22. lmayrhofer

    lmayrhofer Active Member

    I fill the tub (a few inches is about all) once the kids are in it... here is why: Since I often bath them by myself, I usually turn on the water and get it hot. Make sure all water has drained- then i underess the kids, and put them in the tub. I then turn the water on and sit right there with them while the water comes in. I was more worried about putting in the second baby once the first one was in, that the first one would just tip right over quickly while i put the second one in. I guess I am being silly- sounds like most people either put them in with the water already running OR put them in once the water is already in and done.
     
  23. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    We do the same thing. We are right there with them, so I never even thought to worry about water temp changing that fast. And honestly, we start out a little cool, so I probably still won't worry about it. It doesn't seem like it should be that big of a deal though. I don't understand why your husband would insist upon it if it scares you.
     
  24. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Our water temp changes rapidly, has done so since we moved in the house. I've asked DH to check the water heater but he just doesn't...so I just run the water while he undresses the kids in one of their bedrooms. By the time the kids get into the tub, the water is comfortable enough for them. Isis, your DH should be respectful of your concerns...I hope that he will listen to you :hug:
     
  25. amelowe9

    amelowe9 Well-Known Member

    When mine were little and I bathed them individually, I'd fill the bath ahead of time. Now after dinner, they crawl after me towards the bath and I put them in there as the water is filling up. I do have a method though...I turn the hot and cold water on to where I'm happy with it. Mine love the water coming down from the faucet too. They have no interest in the knobs at this point, and if they did, I'd redirect them.
     
  26. E&Msmom

    E&Msmom Well-Known Member

    We also leave the water running with them in there.
    They are huge into cups right now and alot of time the clean water running out of the tap is how they fill and drink their cups in the tub. Either that or they are scooping and drinking soapy water- yuck!
    Also as another poster said, if my two had to wait till the water was done before they could get in they would be hysterically throwing themselves on the floor.
     
  27. sullivanre

    sullivanre Well-Known Member

    Isis I could have had the same argument with my DH. We wash the boys in an infant tub inside the big tub, and he leaves the water running the entire time he washes them. It's so wasteful, and I do worry about them grabbing the knob at some point and burning themselves. In fact, I want to go buy a baby proofing item that will make it impossible for them to turn the knob, assuming that exists.

    I don't worry too much about them being scalded, since DH's arms are in the water, and he's washing the boys.

    Even though it annoys the heck out me me that he leaves the water running (for like 30 minutes straight), I choose my battles carefully and ignore him.
     
  28. stefwebb

    stefwebb Well-Known Member

    I try to get the tub full before I put them in, but only because they fight over who gets to play with the running water and both cry when I turn it off. Most of the time they figure out where Momma went before I get it full and I put them in with it running. We don't have issues with water temperature fluctuation in our house though and I know the water heater is set correctly.
     
  29. sbcowell

    sbcowell Well-Known Member

    Thank-you for all your responses, I do see that I am probalby being a little paranoid, which I didn't realize. But for us, we live in a middle eastern country and the water temperatures do fluctuate a bit more then when i lived in Canada, and we can't really set our hot water heater to a certain level here, and even if i could I dont really trust it. So I think if I lived in Canada again I would set the water heater under 120 and let my DH go wild on having fun with the kids with the water running. But for now, I just dont trust the water temperatures here so I will have to insist that he doesn't do it. But, I am really relieved to hear that so many people leave the water running with their kids in the bathtub- I had no idea!
    DH and I talked about it, and although this fear of mine might not be entirely "rational", he has agreed and promised not to do it again. Because in all honestly he has some "fears" with the kids that I dont totally agree with but I do totally respect, so I have asked him to do the same thing for me, and that seems to have done the trick!

    Thanks all!
     
  30. akameme

    akameme Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    glad you guys worked out.

    Add me to the running water list, in fact now they get mad when I turn it off. We do use the tub stopper so we don't waste water.

    And, the kids are starting to learn hot and cold and want to work the knobs, but they are so closely supervised it's fine right now.
     
  31. twinsnowwhat

    twinsnowwhat Well-Known Member

    I am glad to hear he is respecting your wishes!
     
  32. maybell

    maybell Well-Known Member

    that's awesome that you all had a good talk and came to a conclusion! its funny that sometimes we have pet things we "have" to have our ways, and then sometimes its them that have the ideas that are different than ours.
     
  33. sullivanre

    sullivanre Well-Known Member

    This is one of the main reasons I don't argue with my DH. He's much more of a worrier than I am overall, but Im sure I have some worries that he doesn't have.
     
  34. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you got it sorted out and your DH is understanding of your fear, however rational it is.

    Like I said in my first post my kids think half the fun of bath time is getting to run around naked while the water runs-maybe your two will end up like them! :D
     
  35. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    we're water runners here too - and don't plug the tub simply because if we did we'd have a flood...so I get the water temp where it should be, put them in wash, rinse, repeat and out - our baths last less than 10 minutes in my house (usually between Backyardigans and Wonder Pets!)

    you can also get an anti-scald valve - so that no matter how hot the water is turned on it gets hot so slowly that they can't get burned...here in the US all new homes or new plumbing jobs are required to install anti scalds
     
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