Do you Shut or Lock kids Bedroom Door at night?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by stephe, Sep 9, 2009.

  1. stephe

    stephe Well-Known Member

    When do you start leaving their bedroom door open(or unlocked) at night?

    The boys have been in "big boy" beds for probably a year now and doing fine b/c we have always told them they had to stay in bed and call us when they need something. We shut their door at bedtime(b/c it's right off the tv room) and leave it shut all night. They can't open it b/c we put one of the kid door knob handles on the inside of the door. They used to try and escape at first.

    Lately we get early morning calls(or middle of the night) to come and get them. Most times I can convince them it's not time to get up and they need to stay in their bed but if it's close to time to get up I will let them come get in our bed.

    I am wondering if I am opening up a Huge Can of Worms if we take the door knob cover off and give them some freedom? They could come into our room or to the tv room but are the old enough to do that?

    Part of my fear is what if they do get up and I don't hear them and they get into major trouble?
  2. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    I know I will probably be in the minority, but I would never lock my kids in a room. Never.

    The only interior doors in our house are on the bathrooms.
  3. LNC20

    LNC20 Well-Known Member

    We always had a child lock on their door until they were potty trained...then we had to leave the door open so they could go to the bathroom if they needed to.
  4. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    We've never shut, let alone locked, their door. I wouldn't have a problem with it if it was necessary to keep them in their rooms, but they've just always been fairly compliant about staying in there. Also, we take books off their beds (they both like to go to sleep with a stash of books) for infractions like getting out of bed, calling us for no good reason, etc. It doesn't keep them from ever doing it, but it keeps it slightly under control, at least. And the few times that we have tried to actually shut the door, it provoked such an enormous fit that I can't imagine it would ever work for us.

    As far as letting them get up -- can you somehow gate off the areas you don't want them to get into? Would you use some kind of a timer to let them know (without having to ask you) when it's OK to get up?
  5. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I have always shut all my kids doors every night, actually they say you should shut all bedroom doors in case of a fire. :good: But on Emilie and Trevor's door we still have the child door knob thingy so they can't get out. I have been thinking about taking it off and just not saying anything to them and seeing if they notice it or not. Once it is off we will continue to shut all the kids, and our, bedroom door every night.
  6. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    Both my sets of twins have their bedroom door left slightly open overnight. Eleanor and Ethan have theirs shut but not locked (but they are still in cribs anyway).
    Honestly I had never even heard of locking a child in a bedroom before I joined this site.
  7. stephe

    stephe Well-Known Member

    Amy- I was thinking of doing the same thing. Taking the door knob cover off w/o mentioning it and see how it goes. They may not even notice or if they do may still call for us?

    Where the boy's bedroom is at we have to shut the door at night or they wouldn't be able to sleep. Their room is right off the great room and with our vaulted ceilings it can get loud. I could open it at night before going to bed though.

    I never thought of shutting the door either except for the noise. When they were still in cribs we did re-open it before going to bed. Once they moved to Toddler Beds I was scared of the "what-if's" during the night. Our bedroom is on the opposite end of the house and I was scared I might not hear them. Of course I still might b/c still use baby monitors for that reason. I also worried about them somehow getting outside at night. I highly doubt they would be brave enough or want to but it still scares me so we had ADT put in an alarm system and the doors chime if one opens. I tell everyone I got an Alarm to keep my kids in not the Burglars out :lol:

    What got me thinking was my friend the other day told me at my boys age(3.5) her daughter would get up in the mornings before them to watch tv. She would leave a snack and sippy w/i reach in the fridge and she was fine. I just can't imagine that for my boys right now! Even though the house is pretty child proofed they are able to get into lots of trouble if allowed.
  8. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    Will wonders never cease? We actually agree on a child-confinement issue[​IMG]

    Doors here are shut but not locked. Shut to block out sound & light, I personally would have a very hard time falling asleep, even as a child, with the door open if others were up making noise & had lights on. Fire safety is an important, and great bonus but TBH not the actual reason.
  9. 2plusbgtwins

    2plusbgtwins Well-Known Member

    Ive never closed or locked doors in my house. I didnt see a need for it. My kids will always come straight to my room when they wake up. I think if they were locked in the room they would just cry in there anyway, and I would have to get up because I wouldnt let my child/ren sit in their room and cry by themselves. At least if they come in my room, they can play 'quietly', or watch tv, and let me stay in bed a while longer.
  10. TwinxesMom

    TwinxesMom Well-Known Member

    Never closed or locked the door. They sleep with me half the time so that could be the difference
  11. Sofiesmom

    Sofiesmom Well-Known Member

    Doors locked and the twins have a door knob thing so they can't wonder around, we live in an apartment, so everything is close anyway. My son can actually do the door knob if he wants to. I don't feel worried about it, most likely because we're in such a fairly small space together. I hear them very easily, and I can get in very easily because the door isn't actually locked.
  12. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    doors closed - there are no locks on their doors anyway...if they get up they come right into my room or they'll crawl on the couch occasionally...we leave the TV on Noggin so if they do turn it on they'll be able to watch what they want...most of the time they come in my room and snuggle...
  13. KellyJ

    KellyJ Well-Known Member

    As far as fire safety is concerned, a closed door is nuch more safe. When some firefighters visited my son's scholl, he was only one that rqaised his hand when they asked who sleeps with their door closed at night? I was suprised, but I guess it's common enough to think it's safer for doors to be open.

    Our case is a little different because my twins have autism and could possibly get out of the house or into real trouble should they get up and wander around the house.I wish they would come to our room if they got out of theirs! They go downstairs and cause all kinds of havoc and have gotten injured. So, we have a hook and eye lock on the outside of their door because the plastic door knob covers on the inside did not work. It is easy to operate, even for our 5 year old. In an energency,the door could be pushed open. This may shock some of you, but it is safety and not confinement. It is common amoung families with autism and other neurological disorders. Our 5 year old does not have any sort of lock on his door, but it is closed. We use monitors in their rooms and the second I hear any of them, I come running!

  14. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    Caleb's door is shut, as he seems to need it quiet. Ainsley and Bea started wanting the door open a crack, I think when they moved to beds. I personally wouldn't lock their door.
  15. busymomof3

    busymomof3 Well-Known Member

    My older sons door stays closed because the twins wake him up at night when they eat if I don't close it plus the door is noisy so I wake up when he comes out. The only experience I have with locking doors is once my husband lock my 3 year old in his bedroom because he wouldn't stop hurting the twins and kept coming out of his room. He gave him a 5 minute time out with the door nob lock on. I think this traumatized him greatly because for the longest time he thought everytime we shut the door he was going to get locked in. I know this is a little different then your situation but I wanted to share what can happen. We will never again put a lock on their door.good luck
  16. stephe

    stephe Well-Known Member

    I could definitely see how that could scare him. Hopefully he has forgotten about it. I think the diff with us is that the door isn't truly locked but it has the doorknob guard on it so they can't open it. It doesn't freak them out and we go to them whenever they call us. We can get rigth in b/c it's not locked.

    At this point I am honestly thinking it might not even make a diff at first. I think they will still stay in bed and call for us b/c that is what they are used to doing.

    Thanks Ladies
  17. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    We close doors at night and always have. My boys switched from cribs to beds right after their 3rd birthday and we immediately had issues with them sneaking out and doing whatever they liked very quietly in the early morning hours. I now have a bell on the door to wake me when they come out.
    2 people like this.
  18. ldrane

    ldrane Well-Known Member

    I like the bell idea!!

    We have always closed their doors, too...but never locked. In fact, the type of door handles they have do not have locks. Ours are still in cribs, so we are not to the "sneaking" out stage. I am anxious about that stage. I think the bell idea might curb some of my anxiety. :D I have been trying to figure out a way to know when they got up or more importantly when they left their room (at night while I'm sleeping).
  19. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    For those with kids who are out of cribs, I understand about fire saftey, that's not an issue in my house (there is no wood or other flamable material in the contruction), but what if there where some type of emergancy and something happened to you? What if the fire started in your room? Or there was an earthquake and you were injured? or you had a seizure or something like that? Do you really want your preschooler, locked in a room (with with a lock or one of those childproof handle covers?)? Why do you think they would never need to get out without you?
    1 person likes this.
  20. Sylvarin

    Sylvarin Well-Known Member

    We close their doors in case of fire, but they know how to open their doors without any issue and do so at night to use the potty. They also sing or pretend play with their stuffed animals a bit before they fall asleep, so shutting their doors helps them block out the other one and go to sleep a little more quickly than if the doors were left open. If they decide they want them open later on, I'll go with it :)
  21. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    Singleton, right? ;)
    Actually, I don't think my kids would get into a huge heap of trouble if we let them do that (the worst they would probably do is spill milk on the floor and make a huge mess with art supplies). But I just don't want to take any chances. Also, it wouldn't be very relaxing for me to be lying in bed wondering what they were getting into. I want them to stay in their rooms until I'm ready for them.
  22. twoplustwo

    twoplustwo Well-Known Member


    We shut the door but do not pull it all the way shut for noise. We have NEVER locked our kids in their room. The kids need to be able to come in our room if they are scared at night plus if they need to go potty.
  23. busymomof3

    busymomof3 Well-Known Member

    I love the bell idea! I am lucky because my sons door is old and noisy so I always wake up when he comes out.
  24. nutty-mom

    nutty-mom Well-Known Member

    We put a gate over the twins door. It is one of those tall ones. They can climb over it if they really want to but at least I can hear them do that. My older son shuts his door because he wants to since the twins wake him up. When he was little I didn't shut his door.
  25. jdio33

    jdio33 Well-Known Member

    I agree with this. I honestly never thought about keeping the door shut to protect them from smoke/flames (although is is a good idea) b/c we have smoke alarms in every room and I figured thats what they were for.
    But I can't imagine locking them in their room. I have always looked at locking them in as giving them zero chance of getting out during a fire. The smoke is still going to get in and they will just be trapped in a room if we can't get them.
    We put a gate in our boys doorway (that they can pull down) but it makes a loud sound so there is no way I wouldnt hear it. If they REALLY want too or NEED too they can get out. I can't imagine being locked in a room myself. I personally think that would be scary and maybe unsafe with more then 1 child. However I do understand that with some children it is nessasary but I still think there are better ways like the bells on the door or even an alarm if you aren't right there outside the door while the door is locked.
  26. jxnsmama

    jxnsmama Well-Known Member

    Our kids' bedrooms don't have locks. We have always kept all doors shut at night for quiet and fire safety.

    We transitioned each of our boys from cribs at 3. They understood they had to stay in bed unless they were going to the bathroom or needed us for something, and they always called for us in the morning without getting out of bed. Never had a problem.
  27. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My husband is a firefighter & our kids doors aren't closed completely at night, much less locked. I don't think I could ever lock a kid in their room, personally. It is safer, if there is a fire, for the doors to be closed but my kids all prefer them to be open (with the exception of my 13 year old who likes hers closed). I remember being a kid & my parents making me sleep with the door closed & feeling really scared and separated from everyone, so if they are more comfortable sleeping with them open, I understand. I usually will pull them almost closed, but not completely, when I go to bed at night. Luke & Lila do get up in the night or early in the morning & have never gone anywhere except straight into my bed.
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