Do your 2-year-olds demand attention every single second?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Minette, Dec 22, 2007.

  1. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    I work FT, and for the most part on the weekends I just don't try to get anything done when the girls are home and awake. I mean anything -- the fact that I'm on the computer right now is only because they're strapped into their chairs having a snack. Otherwise, they demand something from me every second -- either "pick me up" or "read story" or "wash hands..." Or, if they're playing independently, I have to break up fights and resolve minor frustrations constantly.

    I guess I'm just wondering if I'm waiting on them too much. I don't give in to tantrums, but I do try to give them what they want/need pretty quickly when they're not tantruming. I was just thinking that if I were a SAHM trying to do this, either I'd never get anything done, or my kids would be whining and crying a lot. Either that, or your kids are more self-sufficient than mine (which is possible)! So, just curious what it's like for you at this age.
  2. Callen

    Callen Well-Known Member

    No, they do not demand my attention every moment but there are a few reasons why that is.

    1. They are not my first or only children.
    2. I am with them all the time.
    3. They have each other.
    4. All my children have always done well occupying themselves/each other for periods of time.
    5. I try to give them attention when they need it even if I am busy. I may not spend all the time they would like, but I try to stop & give them my attention for a few minutes.

    With you working FT that makes it a totally different story from mine. I don't think you are giving in to them. They want you and that is a wonderful thing.

    Some days I don't seem to get a lot done around the house. I run a non profit organiztion & am on the board of 2 others. I help at/for the school when I can and I have stuff I need to do for all of them every day.

    These young days pass way too fast and having a 12 yr old brings that home for me. It doesn't matter what I accomplished when he was little - whether the house was clean, etc, etc. He doesn't care and neither does anyone else. I worried about things I shouldn't have wasted my time on.

    Do they still nap? Go to bed early? Can you reschedule what you need to do? Get help?

    I hope you find something that works for your family. It is hard to juggle everything.

    Edited for spelling
  3. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    They don't always demand attention, except if they see me doing something. I used to be able to sit on the laptop while they played, but now they see me occupied with something else, and I think that bothers them. They are also fascinated with the computer, so they want to touch all the keys, slam the lid shut, ask me to show them videos and pictures (they love looking at pictures of themselves and other babies).
    I really don't even try to do housework while they are awake. I can't even make a phone call, they want to touch the phone and play with it. But, other times they will go off in their playroom and sometimes I can watch the news or sneak in some time on the laptop while they aren't paying attention. If I try to do laundry, they want to throw the clothes everywhere, so I just wait till naptime or the evening.

    I think the PP is on to something though that it might be more of an issue because you work FT (please understand, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything). My girls see me 24/7 and I'm same-old, same-old. When they see Daddy or my mother and father, even though they see them almost every day, it's not for as long, and they are all over them. Same things as you were saying, they want Daddy/Oma/PopPop to carry them, do this, do that, sit with them, etc. But if I have actually been away from them, they do this with me.
  4. Shadyfeline

    Shadyfeline Well-Known Member

    I am a SAHM my boys just turned two and they don't leave me alone, someone always wants something or I am breaking up fights they are just recently in the "mine stage" and will play for small amounts of time together or with their toys. We do go out as little as one time a week to as much as 5 depending on our schedules so it's not a matter of not getting out at all. Someone is always on my lap or wants to be held or their favorite to lay on the floor and pretend they fell and say "help" until I come and get's pretty funny but now I say get up and brush it off and they do, maybe it's boys or I just have super needy kids I don't know but that's how it is for me. I get things done when they nap or at night but thankfully my DH is home a few days a week so that helps.
  5. nikki_0724

    nikki_0724 Well-Known Member

    Im a SAHM of my boys that just turned 2 and NO they do not demand my attention. in fact unless they need their diaper changed or are hungry or thirsty I really think they forget im here. Unless they are doing something they no if wrong then they are wathcing me like a hawk to see if they are going to get in trouble.

    I think they are like this B/C im with them 24/7 you work full time so when your home your kiddos want to spend time with you. When DH comes from from work they are all over him niot demanding anything but just hanging out and playing with daddy.

    Also I tought the boys to play with each other and their toy.. I have seen children that dont know how to play with their toys so no matter how many they have their are still bored and are going to demand attention b/c they dont know what to do with their toys
  6. mom2reagan+two

    mom2reagan+two Well-Known Member

    I am a sahm to 22 month old twins and a five year old. It seems impossible to get the everyday stuff done. It overwhelms me each day. I have enough to keep me busy all day long. It is hard to get much done, especially if they are sick! They whine and fuss and want to be held. Lately if one is held, the other throws a fit! IT is hard to baby the baby when there is more than one, that is for sure! My hat is off to moms who have more than one baby at a time.
  7. Crystal74

    Crystal74 Well-Known Member

    I also work full time. I do not get ANYTHING done until everybody is in bed. It means little sleep for me, but that's the way it has to be for now. The 3 y.o.'s are getting better about occupying themselves and they are playing pretty well together. They also understand when I tell them I have to do "XYZ for 15 min." and then I will play with you, but that's because I have always tried to follow through if I tell them I will play. They are older than yours, so just know that there is hope :) It's really hard when you're working and trying to divide your time. I think it's really just a combo of the age that they are at right now and the fact that they miss you!!! It will get better. My 1 y.o.'s are getting to the point right now where I can't get up from the room they are playing in without them both having a fit----- I just keep telling myself, "here we go again...LOL". At least I know what to expect with the second set!!!

    Sorry that was so long and sorry for hijacking your post, but I know what you are going through!

  8. Shadyfeline

    Shadyfeline Well-Known Member

    Also I tought the boys to play with each other and their toy.. I have seen children that dont know how to play with their toys so no matter how many they have their are still bored and are going to demand attention b/c they dont know what to do with their toys

    I don't think it is a matter of knowing how to play with their toys, I frequently set up their little play sets and get on the floor with them and build blocks play with their train sets as does my 9 yr. old SD. We also go out and do things a few times a week. They can play with their toys but I think for my boys nothing holds their attention long enough and the whole mine stage does not help, they always want what the other decides to play with even if it is the same thing. I think it is a very typical stage and every kid is different and some just demand more attention regardless. Hopefully this stage won't be long lasting!
  9. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    OK, I'm glad to know they probably wouldn't be like this if I was home with them all the time! I know they manage just fine at daycare with 10 kids to 2 adults, so they must be capable of entertaining themselves (and not killing each other) without constant direct interaction. But it honestly hadn't occurred to me that they would be more demanding of me because they don't see me as often. :blush: (And also, given that they do spend most days with 8 other kids and 2 caregivers, they are probably especially in need of more one-on-one time when we're home.) Thanks for the feedback! :)
  10. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    A few weeks ago, my answer would have been that they don't demand much attention at all, play well independently (although I do my share of breaking up fights), and are highly self-sufficient for their age. HOWEVER, right now we're in the midst of a mommy-mommy-mommy phase that's killing me. I can see it diminishing gradually and this week was better than last... I have hope that they'll be back to normal eventually. SO, while it might have to do with them not seeing you all day, I think it's much more likely a phase. Mine see me all day, every day and the previously prized daddy they see so seldom isn't even allowed to help them with their pajamas if I'm around.
  11. 2girls2b

    2girls2b Well-Known Member

    I was glad to read this post because I have the same issues. My husband and I both work full-time outside the home and have the same problems in the evenings and on the weekends. I can barely cook dinner each evening because the girls are so demanding and clingy. I always wonder how SAHM do it if their kids act the same way. I always joke that they must be more tolerant of crying and screaming. I used to try to cook dinner as soon as we got home, but it wasn't working because the girls would throw huge fits and only want to be held. Now, we all go in their playroom and sit down and play for a while before I try to do anything around the house. They have been pretty good lately. My husband gets home later than I do and there are some days I am already stressed beyond belief by the time he gets home. I do realize that they act differently around us than they do others. We try to give them lots of one-on-one time in the evenings to help alleviate some of the difficulty.
  12. LouCee

    LouCee Well-Known Member

    I work FT and when I am home the boys are always pulling me every which way - usually one pulls me one way while the other is pulling me the other way. :p They also takes turns sitting on my lap if I sit on the floor. I get NOTHING done while they are awake.

    I think it would be a little different if I were the SAHP instead of DH. I was home for a week and by the end of the week, they were hardly sitting on my lap anymore. When you're used to always having to hold someone, the lap can feel awfully cold when no one wants to sit there.

    The constant attention used to drive me a little bonkers and then I realized just how fast they are growing and before I know it, they won't even want to be spending any time with me. It still can wear me down at times tho.
  13. mommy2btwins

    mommy2btwins Well-Known Member

    hi i am glad i am not alone.. and i am a stay at home mom...and the kids drive me nuts nothing gets done until they go to sleep at night.. at all.and they are on this hang on me stage while i cook their heads are like in my crotch hanging on me.. sometimes i feel like its a crazy thing!!! so i dont think it really matters..working..not working..its just the temperment of the child.. lol good luck !
  14. twinsohmy

    twinsohmy Well-Known Member

    I am a SAHM and mine do not demand my attention at all times.
    Their toy room is right next to the kitchen so they play while I do cooking/cleaning. I do laundry with them right there in the next room and they "help".
    They are not only children and their older sisters play with them, if not they parallel play.
    There is a whiny time of day which is when I prepare dinner.

    We keep deep cleaning jobs like bathroom, etc for the weekends when there is another parent to keep a better eye.
  15. Twinmagic

    Twinmagic New Member

    Hi. thanks for this post. I now don't feel alone and like I am doing something wrong. I am a SAHM and my girls are now 3 1/2 and this is still going on. Will it ever end?!?!?!? If I hear MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY one more time I think I am gonna go nuts!! = ) LoL
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