"Don't be left out"

Discussion in 'General' started by twin_trip_mommy, Sep 29, 2010.

  1. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    You might have seen my post about the cost of school pix. That was it's own vent. This is a new one.

    Tomorrow is Pic Day and my children brought home a BIG BRIGHT notice about Picture Day and on the bottom in bold italic letter was typed "Don't be left out!"

    This is frustrating. It's not a reminder imo it is a way to get the children to want to buy pix.

    The schools do the same thing with the fund raiser stuff. It bugs me that they try to use my children's emotions to encourage us sell buy their product
  2. momofangels

    momofangels Well-Known Member

    What bothers me the most is when there are prizes offered to whoever sells the most in the class, or whoever brings in 10 addresses of people to send a catalog of magazines to order to, or whatever. And the prizes are junk. It's just that my kids are competitive, and hate to lose anything. So they whine and cry about not being able to sell chocolate online to all our relatives (or something similar)!

    It's obvious that the fundraising companies are motivating my kids unfairly, and I get mad about it everytime I think about it.
  3. Chrissy Nelson

    Chrissy Nelson Well-Known Member

    Doesn't every kid get their picture taken regardless on if they buy or not?? I mean they go in the yearbook right. I know if you are not there then you go in the yearbook as not pictured. Maybe they are just trying to be nice and remind people of the day and time.
  4. seamusnicholas

    seamusnicholas Well-Known Member

    My thought too.
  5. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I actually like the reminders. Because, without them, I will definitely be the parent that forgets! :wacko:
  6. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Me, too!!
  7. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    Same here! DD's school sends home reminders for early release day, school pic day, etc. I need them! or an assistant! :blush:
  8. sullivanre

    sullivanre Well-Known Member

    You know I have vivid memories of picture day at school, and while everybody got their pictures taken, it was always evident who was getting the expensive package and who wasn't. Sometimes they would take multiple pictures of the kids getting more expensive packages or they would line kids up based on the type of package they got. I think it really makes the kids who aren't getting fancy picture packages feel bad.

    My brother and I never had any professional pictures outside of those taken, so I wouldn't want the schools to stop doing it, but I remember not liking it when I would see other kids get nicer pictures.
  9. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    My children are in 4th and 6th grade. They do not have yearbooks in these grades.

    I like reminders. They are great. We get automated calls and paper reminders for everything but this was not just a simple "reminder" it said "Don't be left out". That is not a friendly parental reminder. That was a note to the child.

    Yes all children do get their pictures taken to be put on file at the school and for them to send home a proof and order form later to see if we want to buy. So they will have something to carry home the day all the other students get their pix. But that little "Don't be left out" slip might just be remembered when we say again we are not ordering any of the pix. My children do understand that we will not be ordering prints because of the cost but they are young and may not completely understand the whys especially with the "left out" thought possibly flowing through their head.
    1 person likes this.
  10. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    The reminder is one thing, I imagine all parents like a reminder. The schools do try to play games with the kids by sending home sheets of glamorized prizes that they can get by selling overpriced cheap junk, and by phrasing things in such a way that make the kids want to do things that in this day and time their parents may not be able to afford. It is not right. Don't be left out is not a fair statement to make to young kids. Of course the kid does not want to be left out and no parent wants their kid to be left out - sometimes there just isn't a choice. If the school does not want a kid to be left out, they should make sure they won't be, not put that kind of pressure on the child OR the parent who may not be sitting pretty financially at the moment. I do not appreciate those things from the schools either. The schools should know by the number of students who receive free and reduced lunches that there are kids who's parent's do good to give their kids what they need much less what they want. That does not mean that they love their kids less OR want them to be left out. Send a reminder leave the don't be left out comment off. These are kids for goodness sakes they cannot help the financial situations of their parents.

    there are children out there who get left out of most things, they do not need a reminder
    2 people like this.
  11. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    My children are younger than yours and understand when I say we can't afford to buy them something. I remember when they were 6 and kept asking for a Wii, I just told them that it was more money than we had. They had no problem accepting that even though their friends all had one.

    As for the pictures, even if they don't have a yearbook (and the middle schoolers probably do), the picture are given to the teachers, and they use them in various projects and papers. Especially if they are doing it where the kids all get a proof at a later date, they are trying to make sure everyone is there and ready to go, because re-takes are not easy, and they want to avoid that as much as possible.
  12. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    I read it as don't be left out of getting your picture taken. It's a pretty big leap to say it means don't be left out of buying pictures, particularly when that is a decision that occurs at home. I remember the same thing Rachel does, but they don't line kids up by package anymore. You decide what or if to buy later. I guess I don't see the problem.
    2 people like this.
  13. gina_leigh

    gina_leigh Well-Known Member

    We had yearbooks in elementary and middle school, so I would also take it as "Don't be left out of the yearbook."
  14. Juj

    Juj Well-Known Member

    Don't be left out could also mean the class picture.

    In my first years in elementary, they took a group shot of the class. We all stood/sat on the bleachers. They did away with that format and then took our single photo shot and put them together for group photo.
  15. Chrissy Nelson

    Chrissy Nelson Well-Known Member

    My girls have had yearbooks since Kindergarten. They also use their school pictures for lunch cards, projects in school like making holiday gifts.

    I also remember picture day at school. My mom bought the biggest package she could and I have to say it was a sit down and smile and get out of the seat. We have plenty of horrible picts to show that it was a one shot deal.
  16. 4jsinPA

    4jsinPA Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I don't see it as a bad thing either. We have yearbooks starting in kindergarten and I too would have just read it as don't be left out of the picture! There are tons of marketing ploys everywhere you look. Use it as an example to teach your kids that. We just talked about that last week with my kids because of those darn fundraisers and all the "cool" (aka junk) toys you get if you sell so many. After we talked my kids weren't as impressed as they were before.
  17. busymomof3

    busymomof3 Well-Known Member

    Honestly I have to say that I find you make a mountain out of a mole hill in a lot of your posts. I hope this is not something you do in your day to day life because I know it can be very draining.
    I think that you should try to stop analyzing things sooo much and just sit back and enjoy life as it is.
    I found with my self that once I stoped analyzing things to death I was a much happier person :)

    Marketing is marketing thats how the industry works so if you don't want to buy the picutres you don't have to and I think the more attention you draw to that the more singled out your children will feel.
    15 people like this.
  18. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    At all schools my boys have attended, all kids have their picture taken, whether buying or not.

    Seriously. Throw the paper out and don't stress over it. It's not worth it.
    2 people like this.
  19. twoplustwo

    twoplustwo Well-Known Member

    Our elementary school doesn't have a year book so I don't know if those not buying pictures get the picture taken. I do know there is a class pic that they would be included in.

    I think they could have worded it differently as being being left out is probably a fear of young kids and it is playing on that fear. I also don't think I would worry about little things like that unless my kid came to me upset about it. If they did I would have to talk to them more about not worrying about the little things in life than anything.
  20. Anne-J

    Anne-J Well-Known Member

    It's called marketing. Instead of letting it bug you, maybe you could use it as a tool, to teach them how words like "Don't be left out" or "All the cool kids do it" are just words, and require just a little spine to say 'No." Nothing for them or anyone to get emotional about, it's just a slogan.. Here today, gone tomorrow.
    6 people like this.
  21. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    I hope that nobody jumps down my throat, but I feel like I need to say this. I don't think this comment was very nice:

    If you feel that way, maybe it would be better not to comment at all? I see themes in Cheryl's posts, too. And I agree and disagree with different ones. But this seemed mean spirited.

    To be honest, I get really nervous about posting on here (which would be infrequent anyway) because it seems like there is a lot of back and forth that is not so nice. Maybe there's history I'm not aware of, but that's the impression I get.
    5 people like this.
  22. Chrissy Nelson

    Chrissy Nelson Well-Known Member

    My kids just see it as picture day. They have absolutly no idea how many pictures I am buying. Fundraisers, the girls get their packet and they do not even look through it. They just hand me the packet so they have no clue about the cheap toys that are in there. I just do not point the stuff out to them.
  23. Oneplus2more

    Oneplus2more Well-Known Member

    I don't see this as a big conspiracy by the school district to make tons of $$$ or to hurt kids' self-esteem. The reminder was probably written by one to two people that may have been trying to increase sales, or maybe they thought it was a creative way of saying brush your hair and don't come to school with OJ all over your shirt. :unknw:

    I get annoyed as much as the next person by (seemingly) endless school fundraising, the the fact is that schools have funding issues and they are trying to rectify that as much as they can.

    My parents always bought a school pic packet, but it was on the smallish side, not just to save money but also because we just didn't need a large packet - we only sent them to 1 Grandma and 1 aunt, may Dad put one in his wallet and one on his bulletin board at work. I don't remember there being a big to-do over what packet the kids were getting, or even paying any attention at all to what other kids were/were not ordering. I don't think kids need special events such as picture day to figure out which kids in the class have a lot of money and which kids don't.

    ETA: and some have pointed out they don't order the pics because they would rather do pics other places, so who gets a large packet/any packet and who doesn't isn't all about the families finances anyway. I think we are way overthinking this issue as compared to the average student. :D
  24. rubyturquoise

    rubyturquoise Well-Known Member

    My kids already know I donate directly and do not do fund-raisers, and they also know I will only buy an exceptional portrait. They remain unperturbed. We often discuss marketing, especially if they have seen a commercial. DD2 was flipping through a magazine and correctly spotted the ads as "commercials you read." If they didn't remind me, I would likely forget, and "don't be left out" is something I would ascribe to being in the group shots, not to ordering prints.
    1 person likes this.
  25. sullivanre

    sullivanre Well-Known Member

    Well, I happen to agree with Cheryl. It's not like our schools are a department store or supermarket. It reminds me of these two researchers--Henry Giroux and Juliet Schor.

    I think Sheryl is probably right that somebody just typed up the message without thinking, but I definitely think schools should monitor advertising within schools. We should really try to make a schools places that are somewhat ad free.
    1 person likes this.
  26. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    Yes I need to teach my children to "grow a little spine" because these are just words. Words can't hurt anyone.... well unless it does hurt the child's feelings and they feel bullied because of them. NOT saying my children feel this way but some could. My children did not express they felt bad about not getting ordered pix or that they felt left out because of the notice that came home.

    The pictures being taken are ONLY individuals. Class-group pix do not get taken till May. So this "Don't be left out" was only for individual pix.
  27. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    Really, why all the stress over it?

    It's a reminder. Does it play into kids' desire to "not be left out"? Sure. So do commercials, so do their friends, so does life!

    Might as well start learning lessons like that as a child. We can't always get what we want - and most of the time, it isn't really that big of a deal!
    5 people like this.
  28. rubyturquoise

    rubyturquoise Well-Known Member

    I still wouldn't take it as a purchase thing. They shoot on a green screen where I live, and if you forgot and wore green, you would be left out, so in my case I would assume they were reminding me about wardrobe. My kids are not perturbed because I am not perturbed by this kind of thing. I have very direct discussions with them about marketing, and if I am not buying something/selling something, I tell them exactly why not. I'm matter of fact about it. I don't get worked up, and neither do they.

    Even if it really, really is a purchase thing (and I agree with Rachel about keeping ads out of school--heck, I oppose Channel One), I still wouldn't get worked up. Lots of people with several children choose to have group portraits made elsewhere. It's not uncommon at all.
    1 person likes this.
  29. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    nail on head.

    I have been a member here for several years. I post frequently about different things and it does not matter what I share sometimes because people just like to gripe. I share to much, I act like my life is perfect, I complain to much. :rolleyes:

    I never said I thought this was a conspiracy theory.

    The note that came home was not a hand written note from the school as a friendly reminder. It was a professionally color printed notice from the photographer printed on the same paper as the order form.

    We take our own pix and print at Target.com
    We do not need 1 5x7, 1 3x5, 2 jumbo wallets and 8 wallets for $18.00
    All I need of each child is 1 8x10 and 12 wallets. We frame the 8x10 for ourselves and give a wallet to each of us, 2 Aunts, 1 Uncle, 2 Grandfathers, 3 great Uncles, 1 IL/IL and 1 honorary Grandmother
    I take my own pix size them to have 2 wallets print on a 4x6 print. So 4 4x6 and 1 8x10 each child. We do not need any more than that. So those BIG packages that cost between $18.00 and $61.00 are useless to us. I pay just .15c for the 4x6's and $2.99 for the 8x10's and it all costs me under $20.00
    1 person likes this.
  30. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    what stress? Sure I am talking about it/griping about it. I am NOT stressing about it. Why do people go there just because I am or other people are griping? It is NOT a big deal. It is not taking over my life. It is something I thought would be a conversation.
  31. 4jsinPA

    4jsinPA Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    If its from the portrait place itself that makes more sense. Its not the school doing that, its a company. Enough said...
    4 people like this.
  32. nateandbrig

    nateandbrig Well-Known Member

    I don't even read the notes that carefully! :laughing: And I KNOW my son doesn't! He just hands it over and I let him know when picture day is... He could care less what the note says and I'm pretty sure he's never read one. Not a big deal to me :pardon:
    1 person likes this.
  33. twin_trip_mommy

    twin_trip_mommy Well-Known Member

    AGAIN it is not a big deal and I consider this a conversation.

    it was not a note per-say (I can't spell) It was a 1/3 sheet of paper with the words typed more than double this size
    Don't be left out. So imo it was not something that anyone would have to read carefully unless they had farsightedness.
  34. a1cbrandy

    a1cbrandy Well-Known Member

    I get these reminders all the time. Never bothers me..but I like being left out of things, that means others will leave me alone. :p haha

  35. Moodyzblu

    Moodyzblu Well-Known Member

    I totally get what your saying Cheryl. It's kind of like a final PUSH .. it's like they're trying to make you feel like if you don't get your pics .. then you'll be "LEFT OUT" and NO child want's feel left out. Like commercials that make kids feel like they just HAVE to have a certain toy .. or they're not cool. It's lame.
    1 person likes this.
Similar Threads Forum Date
Help don't have much time left! Pregnancy Help Sep 14, 2007
Fireworks, Just Don't Work For Us Childhood and Beyond (4+) Jul 3, 2015
Is it normal to be this anxious about giving birth? I don't remember being like this with my singlet Pregnancy Help Apr 9, 2015
Foremilk and hindmilk - don't worry, be happy! The First Year Aug 15, 2014
11 month old twins still don't have teeth? The First Year Apr 1, 2014

Share This Page