DS1 is a big mean bully

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by Cjoy, Jun 13, 2011.

  1. Cjoy

    Cjoy Well-Known Member

    Our twin boys are 11 months... and DS1 is becoming a bully. He takes whatever DS2 has, he knocks him over, he pushes him, he crawls over him. DS1 also is about 1.5lbs heavier, and is very strong (Bam-Bam strong), he doesn't always mean to hurt him (sometimes I think he does), but DS2 just wants to play and often starts off by laughing and then ends up screaming.

    Is it too young to do time outs? I do tell DS1 'No' and seperate them, but he goes right back to it (smiling because he thinks it is a game, or crying because I raised my voice at him).

    What are you ladies doing to keep the peace?
  2. sheras2

    sheras2 Well-Known Member

    I think they are probably too young to understand Time Out, but unfortunately I don't have any better advice. My boys are a couple of weeks younger than yours and we already have disagreements over toys too. Sometimes it turns into a little game of stealing toys back and forth from each other and they laugh and stay pretty happy. Other times they start to cry over the swiped toy and we just try to distract them with something different, which usually works. I can see already though that one of my boys seems to be the most interested in gathering up all the toys for himself while the other is a little more easygoing. My one son can have three toys in arms reach, that he has gathered himself, then start reaching for the toy in my other son's hand. In our situation, the toy stealer is the smaller baby, so I think it's probably more to do with personality than size.
  3. monica77

    monica77 Well-Known Member

    Haha, I hope someone has a solution to this so I know what to do also. We have the same thing going on for months now, and the toy stealer is Vanessa. She would take whatever her brother has in his hands, and as soon as Max picks something else up she drops whatever she just stole and goes after the new thing and so on. At times they both have the same toy in their hands - Sophie the giraffe for instance, each has their own - they end up fighting for the one... The same thing happens in the bathtub - I am giving them their bath in the tub - they are in bathseats and they lean over and steal each other's toys, but mostly Vanessa steals from Max, and then he screams.

    I am not sure what to do about this either. At times I am taking the toy and give it back to Max or I am trying to give him something else... I am trying to tell her No, but I am sure she doesn't understand. I think at 9 months, they are too young to realize what's going on and it's more of a personality thing.
  4. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    At this age, redirection is the best option. Just put the offending twin somewhere else with a different activity/toy and reinforce the instructions. "We do NOT hit our brother. Let's play nicely with these blocks."
  5. christinam

    christinam Well-Known Member

    Same thing is happening here. It goes both ways though. Allie steals toys and food. Maddie takes bottles and pacis.
  6. Eribour

    Eribour Well-Known Member

    Haha, I'm dealing with the same thing. Gavin takes everything from Allie! She will even be standing next to me babbling (be talking back) and he will crawl all the way from the other side of te room, push her out the way, and hug my leg like he is saying "mine". Allie is already the more independant player so when she wants to play with me I want to do the same thing. I doubt time out will work at this age (11 months here too). I have no idea how to deal with the stealing, pushing, and crawling over. Oh and he is a good 5 lbs bigger than his twin sister!!!
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