Fights break out immediately

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by AVAS, Oct 14, 2009.

  1. AVAS

    AVAS Well-Known Member

    When I come home from an outing with my boys (not really any behavior problems when we're out), we walk in the door and they almost immediately start fighting about who has which little toy, he won't share etc. It makes coming home very unpleasant. Usually after directing everyone into the house I head straight to the kitchen to make lunch, so they are on their own for 15 minutes--and it's a dreadful 15 minutes of tears and drama! Any ideas for a better transition?
     
  2. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    Maybe prep lunch before you leave so they can 'help' you get it out on the table when you get home. I know my girls are usually terrors after a big outing where they are well-behaved and over stimulated. I try to involve them in stuff, or if thats not possible I turn the TV on to give them some 'down time.' HTH!
     
  3. ldrane

    ldrane Well-Known Member

    Mine do this too on occassion. AND...yes, I agree it makes going out not a whole lot of fun. I think distraction works the best. Have a game plan for when you hit the door. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I do have to use the TV, too. It just gives them a few minutes to wind down & chill out.
     
  4. Utopia122

    Utopia122 Well-Known Member

    If we've been out all day and my girls have been really well behaved and then we come home and they are just cranky, I do turn on the TV for down time..plus, it's a nice reward for a job well done while we've been out and about.
     
  5. lianyla

    lianyla Well-Known Member

    That is EXACTLY what happens here EVERY SINGLE TIME we are home. It's like that every day, every moment of the day that we are IN THE HOUSE. That is why I try try try to NEVER be home! I even pack lunches and eat them in the car sometimes so we can NOT be home! Insane, I know but THAT is how bad it is. My anxiety just red-lines when I'm at home with them.

    I joke with my family and friends that I have the OPPOSITE of 'agorophobia' (fear of going OUT of the house). I have fear of staying IN the house!!!!!!!!! And it's not a joke. I really really do have it. It's been this way for a good solid SIX months. My boys just turned 2 end of Sept. It is probably not getting any better so I just AVOID AVOID AVOID.

    AND.. something as simple as having the tv on.. that just doesn't cut it! They are ALWAYS fighting, crying, screaming. Nicolas WANTS every single thing Gabe has at all times of the day and night. It's awful. He's going to need counseling for it, I am not kidding. He NEVER gets to enjoy anything cuz Nic is such a BULLY!

    So.. I GET what you're saying. The only advice I have for you is BE HOME LESS. Pack a lunch, go to Wendy's.. whatever. I am not home and there's a reason! My kids are MONSTERS when we are here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH and forget about having someone over HERE to play! YA RIGHT! They are even WORSE! Won't share their toys just FITS galore. I hate it and I'm sweating bullets the whole time! UGH!

    Anyway, Good luck! It's HORRIBLE.
     
  6. brandycaviness

    brandycaviness Well-Known Member

    We do the TV too. This gives them something to look forward to while I get lunch or dinner ready.
     
  7. Minette

    Minette Well-Known Member

    Our schedule is a little different, but around age 2.5, we fell into a routine of turning on a video right when they get home from daycare (just before dinner). They were always so tired and I was stressed out about dinner, and it was a rocky time every day. I finally acknowledged that things went much more smoothly if they took turns picking a video and we just walked in the door, took off our shoes & washed our hands, and then plunked them down in front of the TV. It gives me 20 minutes of blessed peace to get dinner on the table, and they seem to need the mental & physical downtime.

    FWIW -- I was like this too (thank goodness they were in daycare 9 hours a day, but we were almost never home on weekends!) and it did get better shortly after age 2. I still try to never spend a whole day or even several hours in a row at home with them, but starting around 2.5, they could actually play with stuff at home without starting World War III or causing me to want to jump through a window. Hang in there!
     
  8. thetaphi_62

    thetaphi_62 Well-Known Member

    We are definately experiencing more and more the fighting over the same thing. This morning it was over a toy that they haven't looked at in over a year and a half. One of them found it in the toybox and for 30 solid minutes one of them was crying because they didn't have the toy. We were trying to get out of the house to get to school/work and all I needed was a little cooperation.

    With that vent out (sorry), I have discovered that removing the toy has helped (slightly). I think that I am going to start doing that more often because I can't stand this constant fighting over the same thing.

    The other thing that I have done (to give some sanity to the fighting) is to give them a container with their name on it to put all of their special toys (that is just theirs and some even have their initials on it) when they are done playing with them. Before we go somewhere, or go to bed, they are to put all of their "special" toys in the container and put it away. That way, when they get back home (or wake up), it is there where they left it and they can resume playing. Of course this doesn't always happen, but now that there is a clear definition of what is whose, it has eliminated some of the battles.

    HTH and good luck trying to break the monotiny of the fighting!!
     
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