Friend drama

Argh! I am so frustrated. When 1 twin has a friend over, there is constant drama about if the other twin can play too or not.  How does this work for you guys? This seems to happen no matter who the friend is, but H has one friend that really seems to enjoy upsetting N. As soon as N is happily doing something else, she will ask N to come join them, and then in a short amount of time N is upset that H & friend want to play alone. I'm not sure how to handle this, short of banning all playdates (which sounds like a gerat option after a drama-filled sleepover last night!!) j/k, sort of...

 

There are times when my kids play fine with a single friend, but there are other.  There are a few options, one is to have a second friend over, so they pair off.  Other times, we will set a time where the friend and one twin get to play without the other, and then the other twin can join in after a set amount of time.  That said, there is no one solution, it depends on the visiting friend, and what moods all are in as to how we will handle it..

 

There are children who are friends with both my girls and if thats the case then we only have 1 friend over (but no excluding allowed).  But there are a few girls who are friends with only one of my girls.  In that case I invite a second friend over for the other girl.

 

We usually invite one friend at a time because our family living room is also our main playspace (apart from the garden) and it is too small to accomodate two separate larger activities such as the boys building or playing with Legos and the girls role-playing as well as the toddler peacefully. I have found that having just one friend works well if the start the playdate with some time that includes both twins and the guest, maybe half an hour, (if necessary I initiate an activity for that time) and then after an afternoon snack we either go outside and they all play together or, in the house, the twin who has no friend over settles down with me and the toddler and leave his/her twin to play with the guest.

 

I usually get a 2nd friend involved OR ship the other twin to another friends house

 

It does work best for us when both have a friend over, that is tough to coordinate though for us between our girls' activities & their friends. The main issue this summer is N's bestie moved away at the start of the summer, another buddy has been gone most of the summer for family vacations & camps, and another friend can come play but is not allowed to do sleepovers, where H & her best friend would get together everyday if we let them & they are constantly begging for sleepovers. N is at gymnastics 14 hours a week, so for now I'm going ot limit her coming over here to when N isn't home. And, take a break from hosting sleepovers, whick I don't like to have anyway!! ; )

 

I have never even considered this - both girls are friends with everyone. I'm not sure why but my girls have never had a friend that wasn't her sister's friend as well. I believe this will happen as the girls get older - so my current thought is that I will try to have  Mommy time with the spare twin. Rissa loves to play Scrabble & Chess so if Bella has a friend over I can play with Rissa. Bella loves to bake so if Rissa is hosting a friend Bella & I can bake them cookies .

 

aren't this kinda common