Frustrating feeds - does it get better?

I mentioned this on the other thread, but the past few days I've been having some really frustrating feeding sessions with these girls. Last night was extra frustrating because they decided to eat every two hours instead of every three, then had all these issues while nursing. So sometimes they go right on, eat for 10-15 mins, and are done, no problem. But sometimes I get a mixture of all of this:

- flailing their arms while rooting so I can't get in their mouth, half the time knocking their nipple shields off in the process
- latching on or sucking some, then biting down while they try to poo/pass gas
- latching on or sucking some, then squirming into a C shape while trying to poo/pass gas and spitting me out in the process
- latching on and sucking a couple times, then spitting me out while arching their backs and twisting their heads (reflux?)
- acting really hungry, then falling asleep after nursing three minutes and refusing to take any more
- coming off the nipple for some reason other than being done (squirming, possibly a little choking, etc.), then after being burped and such latching on (sometimes with lots of rooting) but not sucking

When both of them are doing all of that, it's extremely frustrating! Then I feel bad for being annoyed, since I know it's not their fault. (They're 9 weeks, but adjusted age 2 days.) Will they get better and more consistently good at nursing? They do some of this stuff with their bottles too but it's a lot easier to keep a bottle in their mouths when they squirm.

 

The short answer is YES they will def get better. I'll come back this afternoon with some more thoughts (off to church right now).

 

It does get easier! It's a learning process for everyone involved and their needs are constantly changing, so it's a huge curve for a while.

Do you use nipple shields every time? Have you tried without them? We had a lot of trouble with the nipple shields, so I ditched them and found everything a lot easier. I'll think a little more and try and remember those days!

 

Agreed - it will definitely get easier/better. What you're describing sounds like classic growth spurt behavior. It's absolutely frustrating but hang in there - they'll even out again soon. If they're really fussy and unfocused at the breast put them down for a few minutes and then try again later. That may help them focus a bit more.

And I agree with Jen - nipple shields are a total pain. If you feel up to it, maybe start thinking about weaning off of them. They can be helpful in the beginning but the longer they're used the more likely they're going to start interfering with your supply.

 

Nipple shields really helped us for the first four months....we had so many other things to focus on (like just getting them organized on me and burping and arranging breasts etcetc) that at least the latch was easier with nipple shields. It was amazing when they were gone and I definitely agree to wean off of them at some point, but they really helped us for four months.

Everything you said sounds like what we went through. Sometimes it was a huge accomplishment just getting through one nursing session. Just keep taking it one session and one day at a time and each time everyone gets a little better or learns more. Keep posting here to keep you going!

 

Every day, every feed they are learning, growing and getting better. So yes, they do learn and now that they are 'born' lol they are going to start picking up this feeding thing pretty soon.

Their annoying behavior does sound really growth spurty- which is great b/c it'll even out in my experience just when you think you are going to go insane. Also, some of their behavior may be due to missing some early hunger cues. During a growth spurt, just be ready to nurse, nurse, nurse until they get that supply up where they need it.

:youcandoit:

 

Good to know that this is growth spurt-related! Hopefully they will get past it soon, because I'm getting tempted to give up on nursing and just pump and bottle feed everything. I guess it's extra frustrating in the middle of the night because I'm so tired, but of course at night I will miss any early hunger cues because I'm asleep. My girls are also gassy, grunty babies so it's hard to tell when they're fussing because they're hungry versus when they're just gassy. During the night I use the "will she take her pacifier?" test -- I figure if she won't open her mouth for a pacifier she's probably not hungry.

With a growth spurt, should I continue to wake both of them up when one is hungry? I've been trying to keep them on the same schedule, but last night it seemed like one of them would be starving early while the other was fast asleep, then they'd switch the next feeding. Whoever was the sleepy one wouldn't eat very well, then would end up being hungry earlier the next time.

I agree that the nipple shields are a pain and I'd like to get rid of them, but I'm not exactly sure how to. I started with them in the NICU because the girls' mouths were just too small to be able to latch, especially since I have large breasts. I've tried to get Allison on without a nipple shield a couple times mid-feeding since she tends to open wider than Cecilia, but haven't managed to get a good latch. Then she spits me out and is angry because she's hungry, so I give up and put the nipple shield back on. There's a breastfeeding support group with lactation consultants at my local hospital (the one they were born at), but I'm afraid to take them into an environment with other people and babies because they're still so little and I don't want them to get sick. I guess I need to call the lactation department and see how much they charge for a one-on-one session.

 

No new advice but jumping on to encourage you and tell you that you're doing awesome! Those first days are hard and with preemies the first days are stretched out much longer. I promise that before you know it things will be getting easier and all this frustration with feedings will be a distant memory. Also, I would try one night where you don't wake them both each time to see how it goes. You may be getting to a point where only one of them is needing more frequent feeds and thus the other is not interested. I don't know if your girls are ID or fraternal, but often babies have different feeding needs. My DD started stretching feedings out much sooner than my DS did. I stopped waking them together after they had been home a few weeks and found that we all actually slept more when I was only attending to the one who was actually hungry. During the day if one woke to eat I did wake the other as well so that I could get them on the same napping schedule. Keep up the good work!

 

That's exactly right for weaning from nipple shields. Start the feed with the shield then once you've let down you can take it off and see if baby will re-latch without it. If not, no big deal. You can try again another time. Eventually, she'll latch on for ya. :good:

 

Just wanted to let you know how helpful this has been to me! Last night my husband went to bed at 5 right after a feeding, and I took over until 11. Anticipating the growth spurt feeding behavior, I basically set up shop on the couch with my nursing pillow, a boppy, and some food. They basically ate, alternating somewhat and with some short breaks, from 7pm to 10:30pm, but there was far less craziness. We gave them a bottle of pumped milk at 1am so I could get some sleep, then I nursed again at 4:30. The 4:30 feeding was another crazy one, but I feel like I had a whole lot more patience with them because I was expecting it.

Shana, my girls are identical. I'll keep that in mind though about maybe not keeping them on the same schedule overnight. They did kind of serialize themselves at their 4:30 feeding last night anyway since one of them was too overhungry to eat right away so she just laid on my nursing pillow while her sister ate.

 

Yay! I'm glad it was less crazy for you last night. I agree - for me, often just knowing what to expect makes all the difference in my ability to deal. Keep at it! It will get better/easier.

 

Breastfeeding was definitely the hardest thing my twins and I had to learn together so far and they were not premie like yours!
I used nipple shields for the first little while to help with latching issues and was so glad I did. It made it less stressful as I knew they were getting my milk without a ton of struggle. It got annoying after a while though, same issues as you are talking about plus constantly washing them. I googled it to learn how to wean but basically each feeding I would start with the shield and then part way through take them off. If the babies latched even for a little I considered it a success and if we tried for just a couple of minutes and they wouldn't latch I just put the shield back on or offered a bottle. Less frustrating for them and me. After continually trying they just learned how on their own and before I knew it I put the shields away for good!
Do whatever you need to for now. Use the shields if it makes nursing easier. Sleep and rest is also so important for you and your supply. Take care of yourself and know that it definitely does get easier!

 

So the feeding behavior is much improved last night and today, but I have a couple more questions. They still get expressed milk via bottle for some of their feedings. How should I increase the volume in the bottles to account for their growth spurt? Allison seems hungry after eating but Cecilia doesn't always finish her bottle. I know it's probably unhygenic but if Cecilia doesn't finish her bottle I've been giving the rest to Allison. I'm wondering if I should be putting more in to start with though. They're getting 70ml in their bottles right now which is up from 65 last week.

Also, it seems like sometimes after they eat they'll start screaming. I'm not sure if it's just that they're passing gas and it's uncomfortable, or reflux, or what. They'll root for their pacifiers but refuse to eat if I offer the breast. They seem to calm down after having a diaper change and getting swaddled.

 

Honestly, if they're hungry after a bottle, I'd put them to the boob. It'll help your supply increase more and means you don't have to worry about pumping more. But yes, adding a bit more to her bottle if she seems to want it is fine. And giving her her sister's leftovers is nothing to worry about. There's no getting away from germ sharing so you may as well embrace it and give yourself one less thing to stress about.

The screaming after a feed sounds to me like they might be tired but too full to comfort nurse to sleep. Especially since they settle once swaddled.