Funny things your kids have said this week...

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by jjzollman, Mar 7, 2011.

  1. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    The other day at the doctor's office (for me) one of the staff members came up to River, who is the most talkative, leans down and asks "Do you give your Mommy a rough time?" and immediately, with a smile he quietly says "yeah".....Oh my gosh, I couldn't believe it. It was too hysterical.

    The other hysterical one came from both boys at random times while potty training "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy, look!" they point down and proudly with a giant pride filled smile say "
    PENIS, PENIS, right there! See? Mommy, Mommy, look, right there, PENIS!"

    The routine funny thing they say ALL the time is "look a dick!" when they really are saying "look a STICK". When you ask them if they want an overly pronounced cheese STICK, they get super hyper happy and shout "cheese dick, cheese dick, yay, cheese dick"...fortunately it hasn't happened in public...yet

    smh, boys [​IMG]
    2 people like this.
  2. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My husband was mowing the lawn yesterday, and Alice came into the kitchen where I was standing. "Mommy, I want to get Daddy a coke." "okay, go for it." I opened the refrigerator and turned around and started back on the dishes. About 10 minutes later, she came into the kitchen again, "Can I get Daddy another coke, just in case he's still thirsty?" "Uh, okay. You know where they are, can you open the door? Okay, good." I didn't even turn around during this exchange.

    After the kids go to bed, my husband tells me that it was very thoughtful of me to send down two beers with Alice. "I didn't send any beers to you. Alice said she was getting you a co---ooooohhhhh. That was all Alice, not me."
    4 people like this.
  3. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member will LOL!!!!
  4. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    Here's a gem..."Mommy look a penis".
    Translation..."Mommy look a pen".

    Back in December my MIL took us to Kohls to get some new clothes for me for my birthday. We pass by the lingerie section and see the manikins and the boys point and shout "BOOBIES!".
  5. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    The boys were getting ready for bed, and we were hanging out in Cameron's room. Kiefer decided he wanted me to hold him like a baby and sing a few songs for him over Cameron's bed.

    Kiefer: Sing Rock-a-bye.
    Me: Proceeds to sing him Rock-a-Bye, Baby
    Kiefer: You know that lullaby song?
    Me: knowing what he's talking about, proceeds to sing him All the Pretty Little Horses
    Kiefer: You know that song that ends with something like Daddy's going to hit you or something?
    Me: Daddy's gonna hit you? Oh, umm... figuring it out, I proceed to sing him Hush Little Baby But by verse 3, I'm laughing too hard I can't finish, so Kiefer tries to finish singing for me...
    Kiefer: Daddy's going to buy me a shopping cart...
    Me: A shopping cart? Laughing even harder by this time, I can barely breathe
    Kiefer: Start over!

    It took me about 5 tries before I could barely make it through the entire song. Kiefer also had a hard time keeping a straight face which made it even harder for me to be able to finish the song.
  6. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    My boys seem to be obsessed with body parts recently because when I got out of the shower yesterday and was drying off River looked at me and told me "boobies, dirty!" and I said "they were, that's why Mommy took a shower" to which his reply was simply "oh".

    Today the boy decided to marker their ENTIRE faces ( - pictures here) with markers which meant immediate bath afterwards. Well They were in the tub facing each other, legs open and Alex (who had a bath crayon in hand) looks down, takes his crayon hand down under the water and shouts "OH! Penis!" and attempted to color River's manly bits. River pulled back and no harm was done.

    It just seems like these guys are setting themselves up for dating disasters because they are giving me so many amazing stories to embarrass away all of their potential mates that I cannot stand.
  7. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    Tonight, while getting ready for bath, the boys got themselves undressed (with some help from me) and started to play around showing off their "junk" and whatnot. Kiefer got on the floor and tried to hide his penis between his legs.

    Kiefer: Look! I'm hiding my penis!
    Me: oh really? Where is it?
    Kiefer: It's not here! (pointing down towards his boy bits)
    Kiefer then spread his legs letting his now mostly erect penis bounce up and proudly sang Pop goes the weasel!

    BOYS! *facepalm*
  8. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    While at dinner the other night, Nicholas looks at me and goes, "Mommy, sometimes when I cough, I fart, but you can't hear it."

    Now we can all sleep a little better tonight! :laughing:
    1 person likes this.
  9. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I came home from the gym and my son came up for a hug. After hugging me he exclaims, "Ewww...Mommy, you stink. Get a shower!"

    Thanks a lot, man :laughing:
  10. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    lol. I got out of the shower the other day and River told me my boobies were dirty...hahaha
  11. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    I almost always just let Ava and Addison shower with me. The other day I put Easton (9 months old) in the shower with us for the first time. Addison was so happy to see him in the shower and said "this is the first time we have taken a shower with a man"!
    2 people like this.
  12. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    Today we had dinner in a wings restaurant. Cameron was having wings with bones included for the first time. Kiefer already had tried out chicken wings before and did a great job. Cameron did a good job too, and liked the taste of the chicken wings, but was a bit unsure of eating the chicken near the bones. He apparently had his own ideas of how to make chicken wings.

    Cameron: When I get older, I want to be a lunch maker. I’ll make food and serve it from the kitchen.
    Jason: A lunch maker, eh?
    Cameron: …and I’m going to make wings that you can eat the bones.
  13. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    "Mommy! My fart sounded like a polar bear roar!!"---Jack
    3 people like this.
  14. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    Cameron: I farted this morning. I had a lot of farts this morning!
    Me: That's wonderful, Cameron.
    Cameron: I'm still farting! I'm so gassy! I'm a gassy boy today!
  15. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    Someone asked Ava and Addison if they were twins. They said yes. She asked Travis if they were identical and Addison pipes up and says NO! We are nocturnal LOL!!! Well, that's true too kiddo LOL!!!
    1 person likes this.
  16. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    My mother was in town for Mother’s Day. She wanted to go to church with the boys. Well, why not? I doubt they’ll make it through the entire mass, but why not give it a try? They did well at first. They were very interested in the various reading material placed in front of them behind the bench. There was info on a charity the church is involved in, some money envelopes and a hymnal in a plastic binding for protection. They boys were otherwise, interested in what was going on. There was a funny moment, however, worth mentioning…

    Both boys were reading the hymnals and looking through the pages. The congregation (including their Grandma and myself) stood up for the next song…

    Kiefer (being bossy but confident about knowing what he’s expected to do next): Cameron! Hurry up! Put down the book and get up!
    Cameron (focused on the hymnal pages replied very firmly): I’m trying to learn the words!

    I almost couldn’t contain myself. TOO funny!
    1 person likes this.
  17. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    Addison : hey mom! Is it today or tomorrow?

    Me: today is today

    Addison: oh good! I was right!!

    1 person likes this.
  18. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    Ava LOVES weddings, princesses and their love stories, anything about love

    This was our conversation before bedtime

    Ava: I love weddings

    Me: are you going to get married one day

    Ava: NO WAY

    Me: what if someone wonderful comes up to you and asks you to marry them

    Ava: I would tell them to GO AWAY, I love weddings NOT getting married!!
    1 person likes this.
  19. Mom2VLS

    Mom2VLS Well-Known Member

    I was getting ready this morning and my daughter wanted to play with the hair brush I was using. I told her she could use it in a few minutes. She looked at me very seriously, held up her little fingers one at a time, and said "One, Two, Three!". And then grinned. Something tells me our countdowns may not be fully getting through!
  20. haleystar

    haleystar Well-Known Member

    Yesterday while eating lunch this happens....

    River: laughingly says "oops farted"
    Noticing that I am not paying attention he says again...
    River: now half smiling/laughing says "MOMMY, I farted again!"
    Me: "You farted huh?"
    So this is what he joke
    River moved closer to me and says (all while tickling his butt) "ohhh tickles, fart tickles, tickle, tickle, tickle"

    btw - he didn't actually fart.
  21. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    Cameron has informed me just after his nap as we were starting to watch Pete's Dragon this:

    Cameron: I'm keeping you company for now, but at the end of the week, I'm getting married.
    2 people like this.
  22. marcymiller

    marcymiller Well-Known Member

    Last night, during my third trip into the girls bedroom when they still have not fallen asleep... or even quieted down:

    Kaimely: "Mommy, I can't sleep. My laugh keeps laughing."
    1 person likes this.
  23. 5280babies

    5280babies Well-Known Member

    We are in the car driving and Zoe suddenly points to a man jogging with no shirt on and screams, "mommy, daddy, (gasp), that man is running in his boo boos!"
  24. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    This one isn't funny so much as totally sweet. Yesterday I had to pick up my girls from MIL to bring them to the office while she went to a Dr appt. the girls were crying when I loaded them up because I'd pulled them off the playground. Alexis quickly settled down and Sam was still bawling as we drove.

    Alexis: Sammy. Sammy, look outside. Sammy! Look outside.
    Samantha (quiets down): Huh?
    Alexis: Look outside. Da da du blah blah slide blah mommy da da ya blah. Okay, Sammy?
    Samantha: Okay, sissy. Okay.

    I have NO IDEA what Alexis was telling Sam, but it worked! It was the sweetest exchange and had me totally choked up. Those girls are partners.
    3 people like this.
  25. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I have been teaching the kids the correct names for their body parts.

    Upon being reminded that DD has a vagina, DS scrunches up his nose and says, "That can't be. Vagina is Spanish."

    Me: "Erm, uh, okay."
    1 person likes this.
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