Going to Work

I work, by choice, and believe I am just a good of a mother as my friends/neighbors that do not work. The other day, we were at a party and my friend was shocked that I still work and was in disbelief that I was traveling to the West coast (I live in the East) for a 3 day business trip. She was like who will take care of the children. I told her their father! They are half his!! I was so annoyed that she made it sound like I am a bad mother for working and having my husband play a very active role in their life. She goes no where without her children and her hubby has never watched them alone.

Just needed to vent - never felt like I needed to jusifty my desire to work and be fulltime Mohter - My kids are well adjusted and Happy as am I! Anybody else feel this way at times?

 

I travel for work occasionally, and I get this too. I think it is a very silly question "Who is going to watch your kids while you are gone?". Well, during the day the same people who watch them every other day (while I work). And at night and in the morning, DH, their father, will handle it just fine.

I always feel bad for DH when people do that. He's a completely capable man, and takes care of them very well, whether I am home or not.

Thankfully, I have very few trips lately. Due to travel costs, we've restricted it down to absolute necessities only, and I really never have necessary travel.

 

Oh yes - I've had these same comments and they make steam come out of my ears. Somehow working makes us less caring? Or the fact that we'd "allow" our husbands to care for our children makes us bad mothers?

Actually, I usually have people tell me how sorry they are that I have to work and can't be home with my kids. I never know what to say. I tried telling people that I choose to work, but then I get all sorts of other questions, so now I just smile politely and change the subject. Working isn't the right decision for everyone, of course, but it's the right one for me! (and you!) Sorry you're dealing with these idiots... but I hope your trip out West goes well.

 

My husband is the most capable person when it comes to taking care of the kids - sometimes I think he is better at it than me! :lol:

We both work full-time. We have a great nanny who watches them during the day. I have travelled for work a few times and have gotten away by myself a few weekends since the twins were born. I think we have a good balance and share responsibilities well.

My friends who are SAHM never seem to get a break, so when I tell them I went away for the weekend and left the kids home with dad, they seem so surprised. I guess I learned early on to let other people - whether it was my husband, my mom, my friends, our nanny - take care of my kids and that they will be okay if I am not with them 24/7. I was chatting with a friend who is a SAHM about this and she thinks I'm able to reliquish control better because I am a working mom and I have to. She is with her kids all the time and see it as her "job" and so it is harder to let someone else do her "job" because she feels like she should be doing it all the time. My attitude is - yes, I need to do my job...but I also take vacation and need a break. Everyone needs a break sometimes - whether it is from their job, their kids, their family....whatever. I say, take advantage of opportunities and know that yes, your husband can indeed watch your kids on his own!

Jessica

 

I've gotten the same comments...it's amazing that even total strangers feel the need to ask if I stay home with my children. I chose to work too, I know that I am just not cut out to be a SAHM.

I'm thankful that in this day and age we all have the choice and opportunity to either work/SAH/or some combination of both. Both I think both sides get flack either way they choose, which is really frustrating, but I guess it is just one of the things us women have to put up with!

 

I honestly think some days I be a better mom if I worked. I am a SAHM but I give working moms SO much credit. It is amazing that you can maintain the energy to work all day and then parent all night! I worked prior to kids and I don't know that I would be able to juggle it so well. In any case, I am a SAHM because I am finishing my degree and know that I personally could not go to school, work, and still have time with my kids. I love spending my time with my kids, but there are times when I wonder if working might actually be better.

People's views can be sooo archaic!! Sorry they have been so rough on you. My hat goes off to you!

 

So glad to see this topic posted and know I am not the only one that gets negative comments about being a working mom. I love my children, have a very hands on DH and a wonderful flexible job. So it works for us. I feel a lot times that my job gives me a "break" away from the girls and I feel more recharged once I get home and see them. We have a wonderful Nanny and my mom who watches them during the day so I know they are in good hands.

 

I think people who make comments like this are very insecure about themselves...why else would anyone be so negative and judgemental? Good friends congratulate each other's success, offer support, and lift each other up. I am a teacher, and after being home all summer, I KNOW that I am a better mom because I work. I have a passion for what I do, it inspires me, and I hope my kids will one day appreciate and respect that about me. Also, when I come home in the afternoon, I really miss them and look forward to our time together. I am much more patient! After dealing with the "no, no, no, NO's" all day over the summer, my patience wore very thin by dinner time some days (some days by lunch, lol). I have definitely noticed the change for the better in our familt. That being said, I give the SAH moms a lot of credit for their choice, it's a tough job. Every mother needs to find what works best for her and her family.

 

I have definitely gotten negative comments about working! Whenever people find out I have twins, I almost always get asked, "who watches them?" Well, my dh is a sahd, and when I tell them that there is just this look of disbelief...as if he couldn't handle it (he used to teach preschool!)....I have even been asked why I didn't stay home and have my husband work. So judgemental!

 

My DH and I hate these comments too. We share all child care almost completely equally (I do a little more of the planning and shopping) because we both work full time. I've gone on business trips and he's taken care of the girls. Likewise, he's had to go away and I've taken care of the girls. No biggie since we are their parents!!!