Have you taught your kids not to talk to strangers?

We have been really talking to the girls about not talking to strangers because they are VERY friendly. They will talk to anyone and if I'm not just holding on to them, they want to walk up and talk to everyone they meet. Of course, now, they scream out in the middle of the store, "Look, Mommy, a stranger," as we stand next to them in line. However, today, they decided they would take it upon themselves to answer the door when a solicitor came knocking :shok: I thought I was going to die..this person didn't ring the doorbell, just knocked so I didn't hear them. I usually chain the front door, but got sidetracked and forgot..what a idiot I am!! Thank goodness he was nice and no harm done...but what a wake-up call for me. Needless to say we had a LONG talk about not opening the door to strangers and what to do when a stranger comes knocking!! Have you had the stranger talk yet?

 

Not yet. Mine are still too young to "get it" - but I was wondering when I should have it. Thanks for posting!

 

Not for Jacob and Boden, they are kinda young and don't talk anyway. :lol:

But, we have spoken to Ella about it quite a bit. I got her a book this spring about not talking to strangers. I have told her to never open the door unless it is a family member. And, she isn't to speak to adults she does not know unless I or her daddy are there with her. It is hard, I think, to go over all the scenarios with them.

For instance, today we were at the park with another mom and her 2 kids. I was pushing the boys on the swings and talking to the mom and Ella was playing in the sand behind me with a couple of boys, probably 2-3 years older than her. Well, I look up and see that Ella is walking 30 feet away from me with these boys!! I freaked out. So, we had to have a talk about how she can't leave my sight, even if it is with other kids.

 

I have had to have the stranger talk to John because since about 4, he started to make an extra effort to talk to everyone!!! We have still had to remind him pretty often to be careful around people he doesn't know.

 

I am ALWAYS trying to explain this to my DS, but he doesn't get it. He thinks, for instance, that when we go to the beach, ALL the other people there are our friends and we're all there together for one big outing. As we were leaving last week, he waved and said "Bye guys!!" to every group of people we passed. And last weekend at a picnic, everyone was calling him "The Mayor" b/c he was walking around and shaking hands with everyone and introducing himself (some people we knew, others we didn't). I don't doubt for a second that he would open the door for someone he didn't know, though we haven't been in that situation yet. I have to keep an extremely close eye on him wherever we go b/c he is just so darned friendly.

I have heard good things about the John Walsh stranger danger dvd advertised on television (I can't remember the name right now...) and I have been meaning to look for a copy for a while now. It's definitely worth a shot!

 

I have started having this talk, especially with Lorien who is very much like you described. Fortunately our door is a bit hard to open so they still can't but in the park, she will go up to any mother and start toching them and talking to them. It freaks me out. She still isn't quite getting it but I guess I just have to keep pounding in to them that we don't talk to strangers. I tell them that if they are with me and someone says hi they can say hi back but not to talk to anyone when I'm not right next to them.

 

This video is worth it's weight in gold! I love love love the Safe Side video and the kids :wub: SAFE SIDE SUPER CHICK!! It gives you as parents talking points with your kids! It helps you formulate that conversation! My kids watch it and then don't and the do. I love it for the car, too!!!

I highly recommend it!!!

 

I second this!!!! My boys started watching this a few months ago -- just before they turned 4. They love it and it keeps their interest. They are asking me all the time if this or that person is a "don't know" and then saying "we don't talk or go with a don't know!" They say "We will kick and scream as loud as we can!" LOL

Anyway, totally worth the investment!!!

Mendy

 

Thanks, Diane! I didn't know there was a video that talks about this...I'm definitely checking into it..I think the girls still need help with this concept, too.

 

Funny. DH and I were talking about this just last night. I just placed that video on hold at the library. Thanks, Diane!

The conversation last night was funny. Started because of this exchange:

Jade: "Are there vampires?"
Me: "No, they are from stories."
Mel: "Dragons?"
Me: "Nope. Stories."
Jade: "Bad guys?"
Me: "Um, actually, yes." M
el and Jade: Eyes wide. "Really?"
Me: "Yes. But not here."
Jade: "Right. There are no bad guys in New York. They are all in Connecticut."

 

I haven't felt the need to have the stranger talk (though I know they talk about it at school, along with things like "Never run away from a fire fighter"), because my kids won't talk to anyone except very close friends and family (and sometimes not even then).

However, we have had to talk about opening the front door. A couple of weeks ago, Amy opened the screen door when she saw the mailman coming, walked all the way down the front walk and got the mail from him. She was all proud, and I couldn't bring myself to punish her for it that time, but we had to set some consequences for any future times that she opened the front door without asking an adult for permission. It really freaked me out.

Marie, that's so funny -- "All the bad guys are in Connecticut." :rotflmbo:

Diane, thanks for the video! I think we'll check that out.

 

Marie, that's funny! No bad guys in New York.

I haven't had this talk with my girls because they won't even talk to adults they know. They only speak to very inner circle adults. How do we strike a balance?

 

Big BAD Connecticut :laughing: From one NYer to another, LOVE.IT!!!

To the OP, thanks for bringing this up and to Diane for linking that video. I'll keep that on file to show the girls in the next year or so.

 

That video sounds great. I need to check into that.

 

I think they're going to have a run on those videos at the libraries now! I just placed a hold on one, too. We tried a book by the Bearenstien Bears, but it was way too old for my two. They kept using figurative language ("he's a bad apple", etc.) that just lost my kids. I tried talking to them about it myself, but then they just got overly-fearful. I'm also on the lookout for good resources to teach simple fire safety to this age group.

 

My kids just don't talk to anybody, so I haven't really felt the need to do this yet. But, I probably should. Thanks for the video recommendation!

 

This is my lot too. None of the twins would talk to an adult they didn't know, it's hard enough to get them to talk to ones they do know.
I can see it being a problem with Eleanor when she gets older though, because she likes to talk to EVERYONE. When we are at a playgroup or the park she will happily walk over to an adult she has never seen before and smile, babble at and climb all over them, then go on to the next person. She has been dointg this since she could crawl and I can't imagine her stopping of her own accord. I might have to look out for something like that video over here.

 

I didn't do a stranger talk. It's too vague a term. After all, everyone they ever meet is a stranger until they've met them. Instead I taught mine that only grown-ups can answer the door (and I also never taught any of mine how to open doors, even if it meant I had to get up and fetch things a million times until they figured it out--but I never discovered anyone putting chocolate syrup on the furniture, either). And I taught them that no matter where we are, they can never go anywhere without [whichever adults were with us], and if they want to go anywhere but [this playground/this aisle of the store/this room in the library] they have to ask me first. Of course I also taught them that if someone tried to carry them away they should scream "This is not my mommy/daddy!" and thrash and fight. I found it much easier for them to grasp that they had to stay with me than that they can't talk to new people.

 

This is what we've tried to do. I've also read that most abuse of children occurs by family members, so for me the concept of what is wrong is more important than the who part of it. I also think that focusing on people that you don't know being bad creates more fear of the world than is necessary. All of us are strangers when outside of our house, but most of us aren't evil like most of the 'stranger danger' talks I got as a kid would suggest.

-penny

 

I can't wait for the boys to be old enough for this one! We haven't had this talk as my boys are still young, but I was thinking of how hard it will be to do. Just today at wal-mart we had 5-6 strangers walk right up to us to see "the twins". The boys are so outgoing now b/c of this which is good and bad. They go up to ANYONE and talk to them give hugs. It makes for VERY strange situations for me and the people sometimes.