Help! How to deal with drama!

Hi ladies, hope you all have a nice day. I really need help

My kids are 3. And things have been going well for us, no tantrums, no fighting, no whinnying. But my daughter but became a drama queen. And it's the point that I can't take it anymore. She is fine mostly at home. But she is so dramatic like 70% when they take classes or when we are out. Like today she was all happy and well behaved at home. Then we went to the Y for their swimming lessons. Suddenly she changed, refused it and cried and was sad, I mean u name it all. But she only acts dramatic like 15 mins then happy to join the class!!?? Same thing with soccer. They have been taking swimming class for 4 months. She is not new for it. She loves soccer practice but refuses to play games now. She loves swimmjnc, soccer and tumling actually. And she is good at everything. She never acted this way before. It just got worst since last month. And I am just grrrr... I just run out of my patience with her really. She can changes from happy to depressed so fast like in secs!!!?? She used to be a tomboy. And now she is so girly girl. I have no idea what is going on with her. Is it a phase or personality? If its a phase, when it will get better? I need to learn not let her upset me when this drama thing happens.
Thank you ladies!

 

It could just be a phase. What happens when she acts dramatic? (i.e. what kind of attention does she get?) I would remove her from the situation (if possible and find a quiet place for her to sit until she calms down) and as hard as it is, not to show how upset you are. I've found the less I reacted to a tantrum the faster it went away. As for the practices, if she refuses to play, I would tell her that's fine but she has to sit and watch because she made a commitment and if she is not going to help her team, then she can root for her team.
I've seen it with kids in dance class and sports where they are not having it and by midway through (sometimes after several lessons and practices) they start participating.

 

I've heard that this is about the age when they start really creating a gender identity. Is it possible that she's just trying to assert her "femaleness"? And I'm not trying to say that girls are naturally drama queens, but perhaps she's trying to distinguish herself from her brother somehow. What about trying her in a dance class or something to see how she reacts to it?

 

I think she's trying a power struggle with you/pushing your buttons.

What I would do is either what Nancy said OR I'd have a friend nearby ready to take her home if she protests and says she doesn't want to participate. You calmly say "Ok- s/he will take you home now. See you later". And leve her with the friend. I'm betting she will test you once or twice tops but pprobably will throw a fit to join class. I would make my point (take her home the first time) then the next time she tries the drama I'd calmly ask her whether she'd like to go home like last time.

 

thank you so much ladies. Usually I just let her sit there until she wants to join the classes. But lately, it happen like every single class and I am so sick of it. Once I told her that I would call daddy come to take her home. She refused to go home. I really don't know what is going on. She is getting so attached to me. It might be the problem. She wants me to be next to her in class which is impossible and I wont put up with that. She likes all the sports and she really enjoys them all. Just the drama happens lately. and not just in classes, when she doesn't get her way, she will turn from happy to so dramatic. I always ignore it. But really I got mad sometimes. But she is very sweet and well when she doesn't act dramatic. I hope its just a phase. I am myself a tomboy lol. When I went to school, I hated to hang out with drama queens. Now I have one in my house lol.

I thought about dancing class. But their schedule is full, they go to school in the morning, evening they go to ymca. Plus, I rather they both take same classes. Its a huge pain to send them to different classes though.
thank you ladies.