Holding Back for Kindergarten

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by dtlyme, Sep 13, 2007.

  1. dtlyme

    dtlyme Well-Known Member

    I know this probably depends on the child, but I am curious about people's experiences on this. My twins were born Dec 10th, but were 6 weeks early (due date was Jan 24th), the cut off date for Kindergarten here in Connecticut is December. I obviously have plenty of time till I need to really know or make a decision b/c they are only 2 1/2!

    thanks much!
     
  2. 2babygirls

    2babygirls Well-Known Member

    Here is my experience with this. Our son was born in July 1993 and our cut off was you had to be 5 by the 1st day of school. Which is in August. We did not start him the year he turned 5 but instead waited until the summer he turned 6. The reason being is we have an older son (5 yrs older then brother) and throughout those years I had seen the kindergarten program change bigtime. In kindergarten they have spelling words, spelling tests even spelling sentence with those spelling words :eek: It was no longer the introduction to school like learning your numbers, abc's and colors. Now you really NEED to know them before entering. I didn't want my son to dislike school at such a young age since he will be having to go for the next 13 years :lol: His teachers even thanked us for starting him later as they see the young 5 years struggle against the older 5/6 year olds. He is now in 8th grade and we have NO regrets with not starting him sooner as the school work only got harder as each grade progressed. he doesn't struggle at all and keeps pretty much A's with a few B's.

    It is a tough and individual choice for parents as only you know your children and their maturity and level of learning.
    I just wanted to give you what we chose to do. :)
     
  3. Ellen Barr

    Ellen Barr Well-Known Member

    We held our boys back a year. My boys were born in September, and like CT, the cutoff date in CA is December. In most states, the cut-off is in September, so my boys would have been held back in most places, but here they could have gone to K last September if we had wanted.

    One big consideration for us was that one of my sons has a severe stutter. He's been in speech therapy and is doing great, but I really wanted him to progress as much as possible with that before going to Kindergarten. I didn't want him going when he was having difficulty or feeling self-conscious. I wanted him to be doing well and feeling confident -- which he is now.

    In any case, the preschool they went to offered Kindergarten readiness testing. The test they gave was the Chancey and Bruce Early Childhood Development test. They seem to be a southern CA outfit, but I imagine there are other similar places around the country. My husband and I felt like it would be best to hold them back, that they just weren't ready, but these are our first kids and we had people giving us all kinds of advice. We just didn't know for certain what we should do.

    The tests came back recommending one more year of preschool. They broke it down into different areas, but basically while they were smart enough, they just weren't mature enough and the testers felt we should wait another year before starting Kindergarten. It was nice to have an impartial party confirming what we felt in our guts.

    Now that it is a year later, I am SO glad we waited. They are so much more socially mature, able to concentrate and sit still than they were last year. They probably would have done fine if they'd started last year, but they probably would have struggled some with the demands of Kindergarten.

    Talk to their preschool teachers (if they are in or are going to go to preschool).
     
  4. jenn-

    jenn- Well-Known Member

    Well the way I am reading your post, your girls will miss the cut off for the year they turn 5 by a few days, so you will have no choice. They will turn 6 in Dec of the year they could start school and that is not considered a late birthday for that school year. Our K teacher said that the kids that didn't turn 6 until April or later were the ones that usually struggled the most. My DD was a May bday and she struggled in K. You will know your kids the best but unless there is some sign they won't do okay I would send them that first year they are eligible.
     
  5. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(jenn- @ Sep 13 2007, 04:27 PM) [snapback]406584[/snapback]
    Well the way I am reading your post, your girls will miss the cut off for the year they turn 5 by a few days, so you will have no choice.


    That is how I am reading it too. If the cut off is Dec. (I'm assuming Dec. 1) and yours turn 5 Dec. 10, it is too late. Personally, with them being preemies anyway, (if you had the choice) I would say start them the following year, so that they will be going to K when they are 5 and turn 6 that Dec. , but the cut off of Dec. makes that decision for you already.

    Maryland now has a cut off of Sept. 1, used to be Dec. 31, they moved it up every year due to all day K which was state mandated to start this year in all of MD. The year my DD turned 5, the cut off was Sept. 30, she turned 5 Oct. 11, so she missed it by 11 days just like yours will. I would have started her the following year anyway (being a former teacher I have seen many children struggle because of a later b-day) and I did not want my 4 year old going to K all day, not even for 6 weeks, and then didn't want to send a 17 year old off to college, so think about that too. I don't know how schools are in CT, but in MD they are very academic even in K. And it's always academics you need to worry about with the younger kids, a lot of the time it is the socialization and maturity.

    But the choice is already made for you.
     
  6. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    All my boys have summer birthdays. We held all of them back that extra year. Sean was reading for two years prior to starting kindergarten so it definitely wasn't about academics for us. It was about emotional and social maturity. We have never regretted holding them back. And now with them all in middle and high school, we are still seeing the benefits of having held them out that extra year. They are all handling school wonderfully where some of their younger peers are struggling with the pressure. Also, as Sean nears college age (he's now a 17 year old Junior) we are even more thankful he will have that extra year before starting college. So, the benefits last far longer than just the first few years of school. I could go on and on, but I'll refrain. :D Just ask if you have any additional questions.
     
  7. dtlyme

    dtlyme Well-Known Member

    I am sorry I misunderstood. The cut off being December here I thought that meant that they could start kindergarten in September even thought they wouldn't be 5 until December. Anyway - thank you for the feedback - it's good to know it's not smarts and more a maturity thing - so if the way I am thinking it is I will hold them until 6.

    They are in a pre-school 2 days a week and they do have a pre-kindergarten that I can put them into. I guess I was thinking money-wise - ugh - 3 more years of private pre-school at $1,000 a month for just 2 full days. It's killing my salary. I am almost working to pay day care. sad. Ah well. It is a short amount of time, I love the break, the pre-school is fantastic and they learn so much. We will survive :)

    thank you ladies!

    And Ellen - thank you for the information on the Kindergarten readiness testing. I will ask our pre-school if they do any of that! But I think I already feel in my gut that I will hold them back.
     
  8. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    Dana, if the cut off is Dec. 1st, you won't have a choice, they will have to wait a year anyway. The deal with the cut off is that they have to be 5 BEFORE the cut off date. I would probably hold off, since if you lived in most other states, you wouldn't even have the option.
     
  9. mom2khmertwins

    mom2khmertwins New Member

    I’m in CT. The cutoff for entering kindergarten is December 31st. Thus children with fall birthdays start kindergarten at age 4 and many children do. My sons were born in December. Like Ellen’s sons, they were smart enough to enroll last year, but lacked the maturity. They started kindergarten two weeks ago at age 5 years 9 months and love it. I am so glad I waited.

    Susan
     
  10. dtlyme

    dtlyme Well-Known Member

    Susan - Good to know. I am glad you are happy that you waited. I most definitely will too!

    thanks again all-
     
  11. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Also wanted to add that my oldest DD was 5 yeas and 10.5 months when she started K last year. And I am so glad she had that extra year. She is the oldest in her class and I would rather her be the oldest than the youngest.

    ETA- I have a sister and brother who have Dec. and Nov. b-days. When we were in school the cut off was Dec. 31. My Mom started them both late, so they went to K when they were 5 turning 6 instead of 4 turning 5, and she never regretted it!
     
  12. malone550

    malone550 Well-Known Member

    I grew up in CT (Ledyard) and have a December birthday I did stay back I lack the social maturity I needed to move on ,so I stayed back I didnt have any lasting effects from this but I wish my mother would have waited My sister who was born in Nov was one of the youngest in her class and till this day she wishes my mother had started earlier (My sister is now a Middle school teacher ) The only problem I can see if one twin moved on and the other wasnt ready I wouldnt know what to do then .
     
  13. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    Wow, December seems like such a late cut off date any more. I know it was late like that when I was in school, but a lot of states have changed that. Our cutoff date is, I believe, Sept. 30th.
     
  14. jenn-

    jenn- Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(MamaKim @ Sep 14 2007, 10:15 AM) [snapback]407633[/snapback]
    Wow, December seems like such a late cut off date any more. I know it was late like that when I was in school, but a lot of states have changed that. Our cutoff date is, I believe, Sept. 30th.


    Our's is Sept 1. I think I remember Oct 15th as the cut off for most of the schools I went to as a kid.
     
  15. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(MamaKim @ Sep 14 2007, 11:15 AM) [snapback]407633[/snapback]
    Wow, December seems like such a late cut off date any more. I know it was late like that when I was in school, but a lot of states have changed that. Our cutoff date is, I believe, Sept. 30th.



    It is. I thought Maryland was one of the few states with a Dec. cut off, used to be Dec. 31, but it has since changed to Sept. 1 (this year) because all schools in Maryland are now all day K. Which is a good thing, IMO, there needs to be an earlier cut off with all day K, at least here, it is very academic.
     
  16. Hi!
    I am going to speak from personal experience. My birthday is late November, and when I went to school, the cut off was December 1. My parents let me start school early. I was always the youngest, and struggled a lot in school. I also think when it came time for college, I would have been much more prepared to live away from home, had I been 18, rather than 17.

    I am lucky, in that my boys are March birthdays, so it isn't even an issue.

    Good luck!
     
  17. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

    My boys will be 5 in June and you have to be 5 before the 1st day of school to start here.
    We will hold them back one year.
    I have found out that in this area at least, it's seriously trending this way, as of last year at our school more than 60% of Kindergartner's were 6 before starting, that percentage is expected to grow considerably before my boys start.
     
  18. Rose524

    Rose524 Well-Known Member

    I'm also posting from my personal experience. My b-day is in November. So when I started kindergarten I was still four. I suppose I was a mature four year old, and even though I was always one of the youngest in my class, I actually did quite well academically. The principal actually wanted to skip me from 1st to 2nd grade since I was already reading at a 3rd grade level in 1st grade. But since I was already so young my parents decided against it.

    I think it really depends on the child and as a parent you need to make that decision when the time comes.

    :)
     
  19. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

    to me, times are different now. A lot of people were 4 in K when I was younger, so it wasn't a big deal even when we all got to HS as we were all about teh same age.
    But if the trend is people keeping them back before they ever get there, it's likely the younger children will be slightly behind as the children will be a full year or more older, bigger, etc. . . .
    What I would do, is contact the counselor at the school your children will go to for K and ask them. They can tell you the averages and the earliest vs the latest birthday of current K enrollment.

    Everyone I know here that did this w/ their child has told me they are so happy they did it. I actually have a few friends that regret not doing it.
     
  20. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    Amanda, I completely agree. At least here, it's more the norm now not to start your child if they have a summer birthday, especially boys. And I also know several families who have told me as their child has gotten into the older grades especially (3rd and higher) that they regret not holding them out. School is so much more pressure today at an earlier age than when I was a kid. As parents of teens in middle and high school I am more thankful than ever that we did not start them as young 5's but waited that extra year. With Sean approaching college age, he really will benefit from one more year at home before leaving the nest.
     
  21. ohiomom

    ohiomom Well-Known Member

    Technically I don't belong here, but I read anyhow since I have a 5 year old ;)

    Where we live, the cut off is 5 by August 1st to start Kindergarten. Henry and Evy were born June 2nd but were due August 15th. When it comes time for them to start Kindergarten, while they will be able to start the summer they turn 5, we will be holding them back and starting them the summer they turn 6. Henry is the main reason... boys mature later than girls do and he has an autism spectrum diagnosis and other developmental delays so we want to give him as much time as possible to make strides in his development. I also refuse to send my twins to school at different times. So while Evy may very well be ready to go when she's 5, she'll have to wait for her brother.
     
  22. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(MamaKim @ Oct 2 2007, 07:14 AM) [snapback]432059[/snapback]
    Amanda, I completely agree. At least here, it's more the norm now not to start your child if they have a summer birthday, especially boys. And I also know several families who have told me as their child has gotten into the older grades especially (3rd and higher) that they regret not holding them out. School is so much more pressure today at an earlier age than when I was a kid. As parents of teens in middle and high school I am more thankful than ever that we did not start them as young 5's but waited that extra year. With Sean approaching college age, he really will benefit from one more year at home before leaving the nest.



    I heard this many times from parents when I used to teach 2nd and 3rd grade, they wish they had started them late. That stayed in my mind, especially since my oldest DD was born in Oct.

    But you are right schools are so much more academic now a days, we are all day K here in Maryland, and they really do a lot of work and have to be ready by a certain level when they leave K. School has definitely changed.
     
  23. niftywriter

    niftywriter Well-Known Member

    I had never heard of "holding them back" until a few years after I moved to Ohio. By then, it was too late for me to hold my older son back. He has a June birthday and was the youngest person in his class all through grade school (even with a Sept 30 cut off! :eek:!). One of his best friend's birthday was a day earlier than his (but a whole year older!). To me, that many parents keeping that many kids back for so many months before the cut off was just ridiculous. I didn't have a clue that this was the "norm" there until a few weeks into the school year when the teacher bascially chastised me for sending my son to school that year! To me, it makes the "cut off" dates irrelevant and a joke.

    My son didn't like school much at all for years and years and I think it was because he was so much younger than the other children and struggled to catch up in maturity. He always did fine academically (even though he didn't enjoy it), so that was not the issue. He's doing wonderfully now in high school, because he is essentially a sociable and happy youngster, but those early years were tough with all those older kids all the time. Because he was younger and didn't hit growth spurts when his classmates did, he always felt "little" when in fact, he is tall! His best friend (who is black, BTW ;)) told him the other day, "Hey man! You're the tallest white boy in our class!" :laughing: I think my son was surprised to realize it was true. He's felt young and smaller his whole life.

    If I had my time back and knew that it was even allowed to hold back, I might have held him back knowing how uneven things would be in his classes. But I do wish this problem wasn't growing like this. The numbers of people holding back, earlier and earlier birthdays is getting ridiculous. Yet, I can understand why parents do it, because the reality is that everyone else is doing it and if they send their child, they will be making HIM pay for a principle. :( It wasn't done at all where I came from, and the problem is not as pronounced there because people don't do this (my two girls started K at age 4 with late fall birthdays according to the school's cut off rules (Dec 31), and had no problems, but they were in school with other kids whose parents followed those cut off guidelines, too, and didn't "hold back")...I do think the age/maturity gap is getting worse because so many people are holding their kids back, BTW. It's just my opinion, but I think parents trying to give their kids an "edge" are contributing to this problem worsening for all kids. :(

    I don't know why the powers that be don't just make June 1 of the year the cut off date for 5 year olds and then make attendance that year mandatory (with exceptions for exceptional needs) in the fall of that year. Some parents will always be trying to get around the system to give their kids an "edge" but I think this sort of thing should be nipped in the bud so that all children who attend school following the school's guidelines can expect to meet a class of similar maturity and ability and a teacher prepared to handle children in that age group.
     
  24. jamey

    jamey Well-Known Member

    Our school's cut-off is 9/1. I plan on sending the girls to kindergarten when they are 4. Their birthday is 8/30, so they *just* made the cut-off.

    Our school's pre-K also has a cut-off date, and they do not allow for children to "wait" an extra year. If you are 4 on or before 9/1, then you are in Pre-K. If you are 5 on or before 9/1, then you are in kindergarten. I could wait and send them to kindergarten when they are 6, but that would mean a year between pre-K & K.

    I've talked to the other parents in my children's daycare class (all their birthdays are within a month of each other), and all are planning on sending them "on-time" as opposed to waiting. I realize this may be because we are paying for daycare, so I do think it's worth talking to the school counselor & see what the trend is.
     
  25. BGTwins97

    BGTwins97 Well-Known Member

    Very, very well said, Nifty.

    My kids have a summer birthday and small for their age, and I wouldn't have considered holding them back a year (nor, however, did I consider allowing them to skip first grade, which the school said they could do). As it turned out, by luck of the draw, nearly HALF of the boys in our kids' grade have summer birthdays, so DS was in good company.

    The whole "not wanting my child to be the youngest" has got to stop somewhere; eventually they're going to have to stop moving the cut-off back, which they seem to do every so often.

    I don't have any regrets whatsoever about having sent them when I did.
     
  26. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(jamey @ Oct 2 2007, 03:34 PM) [snapback]432924[/snapback]
    Our school's cut-off is 9/1. I plan on sending the girls to kindergarten when they are 4. Their birthday is 8/30, so they *just* made the cut-off.

    Our school's pre-K also has a cut-off date, and they do not allow for children to "wait" an extra year. If you are 4 on or before 9/1, then you are in Pre-K. If you are 5 on or before 9/1, then you are in kindergarten. I could wait and send them to kindergarten when they are 6, but that would mean a year between pre-K & K.

    I've talked to the other parents in my children's daycare class (all their birthdays are within a month of each other), and all are planning on sending them "on-time" as opposed to waiting. I realize this may be because we are paying for daycare, so I do think it's worth talking to the school counselor & see what the trend is.



    I have never heard of parents not being able to wait an extra year to send their child to kindergarten. If you don't mind me asking, what state are you in?
     
  27. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Nifty @ Oct 2 2007, 02:47 PM) [snapback]432850[/snapback]
    I don't know why the powers that be don't just make June 1 of the year the cut off date for 5 year olds and then make attendance that year mandatory (with exceptions for exceptional needs) in the fall of that year. Some parents will always be trying to get around the system to give their kids an "edge" but I think this sort of thing should be nipped in the bud so that all children who attend school following the school's guidelines can expect to meet a class of similar maturity and ability and a teacher prepared to handle children in that age group.

    I agree here, Renée. The only point I would differentiate on is that most people who hold their children back aren't trying so much to "give them an edge" as they are trying to ensure they are equipped maturity-wise to handle the rigors of school. I know that was the absolute furthest thing from our minds when we chose to keep our boys out the extra year. Someone will always end up on the young side of the spectrum, but at least by moving the date back to June 1st for example, it ensures that a child has to be at a minimum of 5 years old before entering Kindergarten, which I believe is reasonable. I, myself, was on the young end of the spectrum since I have a June birthday.
     
  28. jamey

    jamey Well-Known Member

    QUOTE
    I have never heard of parents not being able to wait an extra year to send their child to kindergarten. If you don't mind me asking, what state are you in?


    I'm in OK. You can wait & send your child to K, but you cannot enroll them in Pre-K when their age qualifies them for K. Does that make sense?

    Since my girls will be 4 before 9/1/2008 (by only one day) they will HAVE to go to Pre-K next fall, or never at all. If I choose to send them to K "late", then they will have a full year between Pre-K & K. Since Pre-K isn't required, and space is limited, I assume that is why they enforce the age for the cut-off date.

    Hope that explains it better.
     
  29. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

    I'm not trying to give my boys "an edge" I'm trying to give them a chance! LOL!
    It's pretty much proven that boys don't sit still for long periods and the younger they are the harder it is.
    We have full day K here and they get PE 3 days/week and 30 minutes for recess each day and the K curriculum is very intensive here.
    To me it's not about competition, it's about experience. And if people are learning that their children do better by waiting a year then I applaud them for doing everything they can to ensure their children's success.
    My boys will only be 5 for 2 months before they can start K, neither of them seem even remotely ready to me, this is my main reason for waiting.
    The counselor educating me on the current school years' stats just reassured me that what I am planning is right for us.
    Berkley had a March birthday and went ahead and started K and has excelled, she's in 1st grade now. She's SO tall that if I had kept her back a year it would've likely caused problems for her.
    If I held her back, she'd be in K right now, she's 50" tall and 65 lbs - the size of most of our 3rd graders. This would give her a complex no doubt!
     
  30. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

    Jamey, I'm assuming you're referring to a public school's pre-K program?
    Mostof our local public schools don't offer pre-K so most Moms I know had children in Montessori, a church pre-K or other independent school. I'm guessing a public school's pre-K would be more stringent about age{?}
     
  31. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(jamey @ Oct 2 2007, 05:28 PM) [snapback]433104[/snapback]
    I'm in OK. You can wait & send your child to K, but you cannot enroll them in Pre-K when their age qualifies them for K. Does that make sense?

    Since my girls will be 4 before 9/1/2008 (by only one day) they will HAVE to go to Pre-K next fall, or never at all. If I choose to send them to K "late", then they will have a full year between Pre-K & K. Since Pre-K isn't required, and space is limited, I assume that is why they enforce the age for the cut-off date.

    Hope that explains it better.


    Yes, that does make sense. Only a few schools here have pre-k and space is very limited and you have to qualify based on need (income, special needs, speech, etc). So not many kids around here go to pre-k though our public school. So we have to send our kids to preschool elsewhere.

    So if you wanted to you could send them to pre-k and then send them to another preschool program for a year and then start them a year later in K though right, if you wanted to send them a year later?
     
  32. jamey

    jamey Well-Known Member

    QUOTE
    Jamey, I'm assuming you're referring to a public school's pre-K program?


    Yes, it's the Pre-K through our public school.


    QUOTE
    Only a few schools here have pre-k and space is very limited and you have to qualify based on need (income, special needs, speech, etc).


    When we had the girls evaluated for speech (they d/n qualify) the therapist referred to this program as "headstart". I think we have both a "headstart" program, and a regular Pre-K program. My girls wouldn't qualify for headstart, which begins at 3, and I believe is most of the day, if not all day. Pre-K is first come/first serve to those who are living in the district & are 4 years old.

    QUOTE
    So if you wanted to you could send them to pre-k and then send them to another preschool program for a year and then start them a year later in K though right, if you wanted to send them a year later?


    Yes, you could do that. If I were going to do that, though, I would probably just keep them in their daycare, which is a preschool environment. I am interested in finding out what SAHM's in my area are doing. I'll have to talk to a school counselor & see what the trend is here. I'm thinking most people are starting their kids if they make the cut-off, but by the sounds of this thread, I might be surprised! I'd hate for my girls to be THAT much younger than their classmates. That would definately influence my decision.
     
  33. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Jamey, I think you will always find there is a range in ages. Someone is always the youngest and someone is always the oldest. Maryland started inching up the cut off, used to be Dec. 31 because it was implementing all day K. So the year my oldest DD turned 5 the cut off was Sept. 30, she turned 5 Oct. 11, so she missed it by 11 days. But I was fine with that. The next year it went to Sept. 1 and that is now that cut off in MD, but that is good because all schools in MD now have all day K! So this year my DD is in first grade. The first week of school a girl had a b-day she turned 6 and my DD turns 7 next week. So there will always be a range in ages.

    Like you I didn't want my DD to be the youngest. I am glad she is one of the oldest!

    It is a tough decision, but I really feel my DD is benefiting from being the oldest, although she would have been ready the year before academically, but not socially and maturity wise. She is much better where she is.
     
  34. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Amanda @ Oct 2 2007, 05:40 PM) [snapback]433122[/snapback]
    I'm not trying to give my boys "an edge" I'm trying to give them a chance! LOL!
    It's pretty much proven that boys don't sit still for long periods and the younger they are the harder it is.
    We have full day K here and they get PE 3 days/week and 30 minutes for recess each day and the K curriculum is very intensive here.
    To me it's not about competition, it's about experience. And if people are learning that their children do better by waiting a year then I applaud them for doing everything they can to ensure their children's success.
    My boys will only be 5 for 2 months before they can start K, neither of them seem even remotely ready to me, this is my main reason for waiting.
    The counselor educating me on the current school years' stats just reassured me that what I am planning is right for us.
    Berkley had a March birthday and went ahead and started K and has excelled, she's in 1st grade now. She's SO tall that if I had kept her back a year it would've likely caused problems for her.
    If I held her back, she'd be in K right now, she's 50" tall and 65 lbs - the size of most of our 3rd graders. This would give her a complex no doubt!
    Yes, Amanda, I like the way you put that: not trying to give them an "edge" but a chance. That's exactly it. As far as an "edge" since Sean had already started reading spontaneously at the tender age of 4 years 6 weeks (and had read my computer manual at age 5, mind you!), he didn't need any "edge" academically whatsoever. His problem was fidgeting and being able to sit still. He also went to all day K (in a K/1st grade classroom, no less) so there was no question for us that another year under his belt would help him "squelch the squirmies" and it did. I think you will find that you won't regret holding your boys out that extra year. Honestly, I know I sound like a broken record, but I have only been more and more thankful we did with all three of our summer birthday boys as they have gotten older. There are countless issues as pre-teens/teens that have arisen which have made me say "thank goodness we held them out an extra year" on more than one occasion!

    As far as the pre-K issue, it must be something through the public schools. My boys went to private preschool and attended Fabulous Fives for the year we held them out of public school so that was never an issue for us. I'm not familiar with any of the pre-K programs.
     
  35. niftywriter

    niftywriter Well-Known Member

    I did not intend to make anyone feel defensive. My point is that the curriculum and age levels in K now are the result of people holding kids back. Now, one almost HAS to hold a child with a summer birthday back because the class is really geared toward older children. And I really wasn't referring to an academic "edge" specifically, but the social/maturity advantage of being among the oldest instead of the youngest in class. Because people have been doing this more and more, a parent almost has no choice anymore but to hold back...because Kindergarten is not kindergarten anymore. It is more like first grade.

    Sorry if anyone here thought I was criticizing them personally. As I said, given what I know now about the real expectations of many K teachers...and the fact that my son whose birthday was fully 3 months before the cutoff date was still the youngest in his class...I would definitely have held him back had I known what other people do and what he would be up against. :( I don't approve of the trend at all, but I would definitely have done it because this trend really leaves parents with no choice.

    P.S. I, too, was on the "young end" (;)) of the spectrum; I was age 5 (June birthday) when I started first grade. Maybe that's it: I am bitter! :laughing:
     
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