I am estranged from my Twin and would like to chat with others

My name is "K", I am the fraternal (male/male) twin brother to "KK.  We have been estranged since 1981.

We were never emotionally close but we were always together, we even went to college together and worked in a business together.

We grew up in a very dysfunctional home. Our parents were very damaged from their abusive childhoods as well as being very damaged during their service during World War 2. Our father was a prisoner of war for 3 1/2 years during the war. He came home very damaged, was an angry, abusive alcoholic who had severe PTSD that was never treated. Our mother had severe depression and slept most of the day. Our parents were very neglectful, they had no idea how to be parents because they never had any healthy parenting of their own.  We had an older brother who died in a bizarre accident in 1976.

Having grown up in such a neglectful and abusive home is probably the reason that we spent so much time together, because we had no one else.

We went away to college together and were very close the first year, I had a great group of friends and always invited "KK" to join us for meals and activities. The 2nd year was different, "KK" met a new group of friends and pushed me away, not allowing me to be close anymore. We lived together for the last 2 years of college but weren't very close.

After college "KK" and I went our separate ways, each opening our own businesses. "KK"'s opportunity did not work out very well and he came to join me in my business which was successful. We worked together for the next 2 years or so.

Suddenly out of the blue "KK" was involved with a friends wife. "KK" changed a lot, allowing her to control him and manipulate him. They decided that he would leave our business, breaking it up and leaving it in shambles. They decided to move away, a 4-hour drive from where we were living.  In Feb. 1982 on the day he was moving away I tried to talk with him, to tell him that I would miss him and to try and find out what was going to happen next with us.  Instead of talking to me or even telling me to shut up, he pointed a rifle at me and threatened to shoot me if I kept talking. I was devastated. I couldn't believe he was acting this way.

In the past 34 years we have never had a civil conversation.  "KK" always gets angry and threatening.  He has done so many cruel things to intentional hurt me.  When our father died he never called me to tell me of his death.  When our mother died he never called me to tell me of her death.  I told "KK" that I wanted to part of our mothers final arrangements after she died, however he refused to allow me to be part of this. He has never allowed me to know his two daughters, he has told them lies about me their entire lives making having a relationship with them impossible. After our mother died he stole all the family belongings, not allowing me to have anything, not even allowing me to have my baby pictures.  He has stolen my inheritance from my grandmother, father and mother.

I don't know why I still care.  There is such a strong "twin bond" that I have never been able to break.

I started therapy in early 1981 shortly after "KK" got involved with his wife and began to change.  I have talked endlessly about my twin relationship and still have such a strong desire to be connected.  I have had 3 different therapists explain to my that "KK" is a sociopath and that he will not change. I am really hurting about the reality of this and understanding that he will not change and that we will never heal these wounds.

I would love to talk with other twins who have been or are estranged so I don't feel so alone.

Thanks

"K"
 
 
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