I didn't want to supplement...

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by Winnifred, Nov 21, 2006.

  1. Winnifred

    Winnifred Well-Known Member

    I guess this is somewhat a spinoff of the "I get aggrivated when I hear new moms say..." thread... but this has been on my mind and wanted to share [​IMG]

    I didn't want to supplement. I had NO intentions of doing it. I was braced with what i thought was sufficient knowledge...

    I supplemented. It did take a while for my milk to come in - and they told me that that was linked to my pre-e symptoms... Both my babies dropped more than 10% of their weight... My dd who was born at 5lbs7oz dropped to 4lbs11oz. When they told me i had to - I could hardly argue - she was SOOOOOOOOO tiny... I just wanted to plump her up!!

    We supplemented only a little - 10 to 20 ml every second feed or so - and we did it on the breast - so there was never nipple confusion... but sure enough when they said we could stop the supplementing - they also stopped gaining... they didn't drop - but they stopped gaining.

    We decided to wait it out - I knew they were fine... and so really - in the end - they didn't get too much supplement and it only temporarily hurt my supply - now it's 100% fine (haven't supplemented since they were 7 days old)

    I didn't have to supplement - I should have stood my ground... BUT I was recovering from a c-section - in pain - we're first time parents... it's HARD to know when to listen to "professionals" and when to trust your gut. It's hard to know if you're being smart or neglectful...

    I just had to share. I'm sure i'm not alone in feeling like "i wish i hadn't"... then again - it probably lowered my stress at the beginning - and that's worth a lot at times.

    ARH.

    Thanks for letting me vent... if anybody lived something similar i'd love to hear!
     
  2. Winnifred

    Winnifred Well-Known Member

    I guess this is somewhat a spinoff of the "I get aggrivated when I hear new moms say..." thread... but this has been on my mind and wanted to share [​IMG]

    I didn't want to supplement. I had NO intentions of doing it. I was braced with what i thought was sufficient knowledge...

    I supplemented. It did take a while for my milk to come in - and they told me that that was linked to my pre-e symptoms... Both my babies dropped more than 10% of their weight... My dd who was born at 5lbs7oz dropped to 4lbs11oz. When they told me i had to - I could hardly argue - she was SOOOOOOOOO tiny... I just wanted to plump her up!!

    We supplemented only a little - 10 to 20 ml every second feed or so - and we did it on the breast - so there was never nipple confusion... but sure enough when they said we could stop the supplementing - they also stopped gaining... they didn't drop - but they stopped gaining.

    We decided to wait it out - I knew they were fine... and so really - in the end - they didn't get too much supplement and it only temporarily hurt my supply - now it's 100% fine (haven't supplemented since they were 7 days old)

    I didn't have to supplement - I should have stood my ground... BUT I was recovering from a c-section - in pain - we're first time parents... it's HARD to know when to listen to "professionals" and when to trust your gut. It's hard to know if you're being smart or neglectful...

    I just had to share. I'm sure i'm not alone in feeling like "i wish i hadn't"... then again - it probably lowered my stress at the beginning - and that's worth a lot at times.

    ARH.

    Thanks for letting me vent... if anybody lived something similar i'd love to hear!
     
  3. txtwinmom2b

    txtwinmom2b Well-Known Member

    Don't beat yourself up!!

    I went through something similar. My babies were born 6 weeks premature and I had a c/s. I was nursing but they were losing too much weight at a too fast of a rate. So, we had to supplement, which meant they got a bottle

    NOw, Ronin has trouble nursing, but is getting better. Ronin gets the bottle at times and Ryker gets the boob most of the time. They are gainning well and it's all on mama's milk!
     
  4. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    [​IMG] A lot of new moms are faced with this. We managed to only suppliment only about 6 oz of EBM that first week. It was either that or not get released! The best thing to combat this is education!!
     
  5. greymom

    greymom Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. We supplemented at the beginning a bit. It started in the hospital when the nurses were very encouraging with formula. Like you said, a lot of it had to do with me being a new mom and just trusting the professional opinion. I had NO intention of doing it, but they told me it was fine to give some formula because my boys had such a strong suck and we wouldn't be faced with nipple confusion. However, they didn't mention anything about what happens to your newly-emerging milk supply when you supplement [​IMG] And they gave me a TON of free samples to take home.

    Lucky for me, it didn't really affect my supply. We gave a couple ounces here and there the first 2 months. Honestly, most of the time it was at 3am when I was so exhausted, in tears, and in pain from sore nipples. I just felt like I could NOT nurse yet again and needed a break, so we'd give them 2oz. On one hand I wish I hadn't, on the other hand, it gave me a much-needed break on several nights when I was on the verge of a complete meltdown.

    Formula is not a terrible thing. For us, it did not cause any problems. It just becomes a problem when you really want to nurse and it causes your milk supply to decrease. This can be especially damaging during the first week when your milk hasn't come in yet. It becomes a cycle: you think you don't have enough milk, you give formula, then you really don't have enough milk, you give more formula, etc., etc.

    Michelle
     
  6. EmmaKay

    EmmaKay Well-Known Member

    I had no intention of supplementing either. But, yep, we supplemented too--less for weight reasons persay, and more because Declan didn't get the whole nursing thing in the beginning. Ronan nursed just fine from the get-go, so we gave him a couple ounces all together, and that was it. With Dec, I would spend 30 minutes every time trying to get him to latch, and he'd be screaming his head off. The formula was a "neither he nor I can take it anymore, and he needs to eat something" sort of option. I kept always giving him the breast first hoping he'd adjust, but he's never really been a nurser. Now he gets either formula or EBM bottle (I'm moving him more to EBM now), while Ronan is 100% bfed. I pump a lot, and haven't had supply issues.

    Do I feel guilty? Well, to be honest, not really (ok, maybe a tiny bit). Mainly because I'm too tired [​IMG] to worry about what's already been done, I guess, and both boys are thriving. Yes, if I had it all to do over again, maybe I would have tried even harder to get Declan on the breast, but those early days are such a challenging time--a blur even now--that I guess I felt I had to be realistic about how much I could handle, and how much time and energy I had. I look forward to hearing what others have to say on this...
     
  7. Jello717

    Jello717 Well-Known Member

    Same thing here. I had severe blood loss and then had two LCs tell me my milk might not ever come in because I had PCOS and my breasts were spaced far apart (who knew?!). They got formula (finger fed) for their first night because I had a hard time recovering from the general anesthesia and wasn't safe to even hold them. Then at 2 am on like the third day they told me I had to supplement because they were getting dehydrated and lost too much weight and were jaundiced. I gave in because I had zero coping skills left at that point but insisted a LC see me first thing in the morning. At 7am she was there and we stopped supplementing. I started pumping after every single feed and giving that back to them with by finger feeding. I gave them formula a few more times the first two weeks but since then it's just been breast milk.

    I really wish I could say that they never got a drop of forumla, but it's not the worse thing that they did get some. It just wasn't in the cards for us. I'm just glad all of us survived the delivery (me and Nick nearly died). I really think the blood loss is what delayed my milk coming in. Even after four transfusions it still took about 7 days to come in, and it came in very slowly. Everyone kept telling me I'd "know" when it came it. But it was so gradual I was never sure.
     
  8. Heather C

    Heather C Well-Known Member

    i admire all of you who have not supplemented,. but we had to and are still having to. some days i have guilt that my boys are not 100 percent breastfed but other days i feel confident that i am doing the best that i can. i also believe that mothers of twins (and of course other equally challenging or unique births) should measure themselves with a different yardstick, and one that takes in to account everything from your delivery and recovery, NICU time, and home situation. we're all bonded by this but also we all in different boats with different storms to weather,. and of course also a ton of sunshine!

    i admit i was a teensy bit judgmental of formula/bottle feeders when i was exclusively nursing my DD,. but shame on me. i had an easy vag delivery, no stress at home, tons of help, etc. this time i had a c-sec, borderline transfusion, then after a seemingly normal five days had to go to a NICU in another city where my son had been airlifted to and keep the other son in the hotel room with us, which allowed me no recovery time with all the back and forth..just as we were released my other twin was unexpectedly admitted,.. anyway i digress,... [​IMG] its just that sometimes you have the best plans and you physically and logistically can't do it. i still made it four weeks without giving formula but it caught up with me. now we're about 70/30 or 60/40 depending on the day, but i give 100% of what i have. that's all any of us can do.
     
  9. MusicalAli

    MusicalAli Well-Known Member

    OH! I totally didn't mean to make anyone feel guilty. I should have worded the title differently to: I hate it when 'professionals' misinform poor, tired moms" or something like that. Don't feel guilty. You are doing a great job!
     
  10. MommyTo3andCounting

    MommyTo3andCounting Well-Known Member

    We had to suplement once in the hospital and I drove myself nuts about it.
    With my first set, the nurses told me I needed to supplement since his blood sugar as low. As a first time mom that wasn't prepared I wasn't educated to know my options. One bottle lead to another and my DS never took to the breast.

    I was determined that this time was going to be different. A nurse came to my room and told my DD's blood sugar was too low and they were going to give a bottle. I refused and asked her to bring her back so I could nurse. This went on for awhile, the baby was too sleepy to nurse and her blood sugar wasn't getting any better. The nurse finally called our pediatrician who called and talked me into an ounce of formula just to give her a boost and get her nursing. He did give us the option of a tube feed or bottle, but we went with a bottle.

    It must have worked, 30 miunes later her blood sugar was back up and she had started nursing more consistently. She didn't have any issues with her blood sugar after that.

    Sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do, but I think that's different than supplementing because it's easy or convenient.
     
  11. txtwinmom2b

    txtwinmom2b Well-Known Member

    I should add that I don't feel guilty at all about it. They needed to gain weight. The nurses were SO supportive. It was mostly EBM than formula, so as long as they were getting EBM I was happy.

    Now, I'm happy to say that they get primarly BM and they are chunking up nicely!
     
  12. KatrinaS

    KatrinaS Well-Known Member

    I had my girls at 9 in the morning and had them in the room with me by 3 in the afternoon. Sometime between 9 and 3 they 'had' to have a bottle of formula b/c of their sugar levels. I think it is a load of crud that a newborn needed 2oz of formula w/in hours of being born. I wasn't even asked if I wanted to nurse instead, they just went ahead and gave it to them. We spent the rest of that first night on a vigilant watch, b/c my daughters were repeatedly spitting up and choking on the formula they had been given. Luckily a nurse was there when my daughter stopped breathing. They realized that the formula wasn't even being digested b/c of other mucus in their tummys. They ended up doing a lavage (sp?) Where they sucked it out of them with a tube. From there on we were 100% breastfed until I went back to work when they were 8 1/2 months.

    Don't misunderstand, I think formula is beneficial. We have been on formula 100% since 10 months, and are still thriving, healthy, happy girls. But their foundation of breastmilk really helped, IMO.

    That being said, the misconception that they need actual 'milk' the first, second, even third day of life is incorrect. Colostrum is so important, and it may not even equate to oz (ml maybe?) that they get per feeding, but I would dare to venture that it is 1000% more beneficial than breast milk or formula. Plus, everyone freaks out about their babies losing weight, but that is what they were designed to do! Non-preterm babies have additional fat that is meant to support them during that initial period after birth, before milk is established.

    Please understand that I am referring to typical birth experiences. I delivered my girls at 36 w 3d and they were decent weights and came home with me 2 days later. This is not meant to offend anyone with an exceptional story. JMHO. [​IMG] I wanted to nurse my girls until 12+ months, but it wasn't meant to be. As a PP said, we do our best, and that all you can really do.
     
  13. RobinJ

    RobinJ Member

    It's amazing how hard we can be on ourselves! I think I EBF all of two weeks when my boys were around 5 months old. Other than that we've been supplementing from the beginning.

    My boys were born at 33 weeks and were in the NICU for 5 weeks. I began pumping every 2-3 hours the morning after my c-section. After my first two days of pumping I was getting mere drops of milk. The NICU nurses, neonatologists and LC were so supportive and told me to give it more time. We thought we had plenty of time since the boys were on IV nutrition and didn't even take tube feedings until after the first week. Unfortunately I continued to produce only drops of milk and the boys had to take formula through their tubes. Can I even explain to you how pitiful I felt that I didn't even have 5 ml of breastmilk to give my babies after a week of pumping? It was agonizing.

    I continued to pump round the clock and delivered my milk every day but it was never enough. The boys continued to get formula when my supply would run out. We all thought my supply would get better when I began breastfeeding but I continued to be plagued with low milk supply. The hospital staff was incredible. They were kind and supportive and kept reminding me that I was doing the best I could.

    After the boys came home I tried everything that anyone suggested (meds, herbs, extra pumping, nursing marathon,etc.) and only felt worse and worse about myself when others would tell me that is was a simple supply and demand issue.

    My boys are 7 months old now and they nurse every 3 hours. Between 1-3 times a day I give them formula following a feeding. At their 6 month check up we finally made it onto the weight chart and were ecstatic that they were in the 3rd percentile! But I still feel guilty about giving them formula. I still feel like it's the worst thing to do. I still feel like I could have done more to increase my supply. I spend far too much time obsessing over what I've done wrong and far too little time relishing in the fact that I am still breastfeeding.

    In the end, we all did (and continue to do) what we had/have to do. So what if our babies got formula? As much as I hated it, I am thankful for it. What would have happened to my boys had I not given them formula? Would they have continued to lose weight? Would my supply really have caught up to their demand? I guess I'll never know, but hopefully I'll stop wondering about the what ifs and start enjoying the moment.
     
  14. Jennifer P

    Jennifer P Well-Known Member

    I didn't want to supplement...but instead of feeling guilty...I wish I could ask the dr's and nurses, why they are so misinformed on the benefits, and how breastfeeding works, and also how it isn't necessary for a newborn to be supplemented with formula. Oh and don't forget why they feel the need to pressure a new mom (one who is relying on their education to make decisions into giving their child formula instead of encuraging them to breast feed more often and try their best at it. I think a lot of mothers give up too soon because of the lack of support.
     
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