I don't belong to this forum anymore

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by keren7, Jun 4, 2008.

  1. keren7

    keren7 Member

    On Friday 5/23, I was 24 and a half weeks, when I started having contractions.
    I went to the hospital, 2 residents checked me and said that it isn't labor contractions & that my cervix is closed so I shouldn't be worried.
    It didn't make sense because the pain was too strong and it was too close apart.
    I told them that I feel huge pressure like I need to go to the bathroom and they said that I can go to the bathroom, that's where baby A came out.
    They said she was dead when she came out.
    Baby B was breach, so they rushed me to the operation room. I was shaking so bad...
    After giving me drugs they asked me to make the decision, do I want to do a c-section and take baby B out and give her a chance or leave her inside and she's not going to survive. Ofcourse I said do the c-section... I felt she was a fighter and I need to give her a chance to fight.
    My doctor did the C-section and the baby came out making noises, which is surprising giving her age...
    There were a few complications in the c-section, too much bleeding and my doctor needed to make a lot of stitches inside.
    I was in bed and couldn't move, so I didn't see my baby on Saturday, but my DH did and he said she was doing great. She was moving a lot and catching fingers with her hand... We named her Leah.
    On Monday I got to see her and she was beautiful. She right away recognized my voice. She moved a lot and was so sweet.
    Everything changed on Tuesday. Her vitals were all going down and they suspected she has bleeding in her head. As I watched her and was waiting for the ultrasound, I kept praying "please god, don't let her have bleeding in the head, please help her fight".
    They did the ultrasound and said that she does have bleeding in her head and that there's nothing she can do. I felt like they just killed me...
    They took out all the stuff and let us be with her. I caressed her perfect head and face until she gasped 2 times and passed away. I gave her a kiss and said goodbye to my little girl.

    I am finally broken.
    I was on bedrest for 13 weeks, I was bleeding a lot and scared, but that was OK as long as my babies are going to be OK.
    I lost my 1st baby and stayed strong for my 2nd baby. I was sure she is going to be OK and then she died.
    On Sunday I buried my 2 babies and I can't even tell you how painful it is.
    I can hardly move now from the physical pain of the c-section, but it's nothing like the pain I have inside.

    Keren.
     
  2. AshleyLD

    AshleyLD Well-Known Member

    Im so sorry for your loss. Your story made me cry.

    :hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99:
     
  3. TwinLove

    TwinLove Well-Known Member

    Keren, there are no words for me to type to take away the pain you are dealing with right now. :cray: I am so sorry for your loss and know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. :hug99: :hug99: :hug99: :hug99:
     
  4. Chillers

    Chillers Well-Known Member

    :hug99:

    Very sorry for your loss...
     
  5. DATJMom

    DATJMom Well-Known Member

    Keren, I am so sorry for you loss. :hug99:
     
  6. rematuska

    rematuska Well-Known Member

    Keren,

    I am so sorry for your loss. :hug99: :hug99:
     
  7. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    :love0028: I'm so sorry Keren. :love0028:
     
  8. somebunniesmom

    somebunniesmom Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry. There are no words to comfort you. I will remember you and your baby girls in my thoughts and prayers always.
     
  9. melstofko

    melstofko Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  10. melissa1

    melissa1 Well-Known Member

    :love0028: I am soooo sorry, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers :love0028: I can not imagine what you are going through :hug99:
     
  11. I am so sorry for your loss, your family is in my thoughts and prayers
     
  12. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I am so sorry for your loss. :hug99:
     
  13. EricaG

    EricaG Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss, your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

    Take care

    Erica
     
  14. Shasta

    Shasta Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for youe loss! :hug99:
     
  15. ladybutterflyrose

    ladybutterflyrose Well-Known Member

    I'm soooooooooo sorry!! :love0028:
     
  16. MonicaBaker

    MonicaBaker Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss, you and your husband are in my prayers. :hug99:
     
  17. annelily2000

    annelily2000 Well-Known Member

    My God, that is heartbreaking. I am so sorry...
     
  18. dfaut

    dfaut 30,000-Post Club

    :hug99: That's is heartbreaking! I'm so sorry you are living this nightmare! :hug99:
     
  19. avd1995

    avd1995 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry :hug99: :hug99:
     
  20. lovelylily

    lovelylily Well-Known Member

    I am so so sorry :hug99: :hug99: :hug99:
     
  21. PJ

    PJ Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry.
     
  22. Jberman

    Jberman Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss.
     
  23. butterfly02

    butterfly02 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss :hug99:
     
  24. Audiogirl

    Audiogirl Member

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain and heartbreak. You and your two little angels are in my prayers.
     
  25. kj427

    kj427 Well-Known Member

    I am very sorry to hear about your little girls. Please know that we are all thinking about you at this difficult time.
     
  26. **Diane**

    **Diane** Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss of your little girls. You are in my thoughts!
     
  27. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Keren, I am so sorry. :cray: My heart is breaking for you. :love0028:
     
  28. kmacinnes2000

    kmacinnes2000 Active Member

    Keren,

    I am crying as I read your story. I am so so sorry, words cannot express how deeply sorry I am. You and your 2 precious angels are in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  29. Ericka B

    Ericka B Well-Known Member

    I can't even begin to express how much my heart breaks for you. You and your family and your little angels will be in my prayers :hug99:
     
  30. Jen620

    Jen620 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your girls. When you're ready, come on over to Parental Grief. We have many ladies who have experienced similar losses ready to offer support, comfort, and an understanding ear.

    Thinking of you, your girls, and the rest of your family! :hug99:
     
  31. Overachiever

    Overachiever Well-Known Member

    Keren, I'm so sorry. You did everything you could :hug99: My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
     
  32. NicoleT

    NicoleT Well-Known Member

    Oh Keren, I am so sorry for your losses. I just can't imagine what you are going through. You will always be a twin mommy. :hug99:
     
  33. JoanneM

    JoanneM New Member

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your girls. Prayers to you.
     
  34. Twins08

    Twins08 Well-Known Member

    Oh my goodness, I can't even imagine the pain you are going through right now!!! I just want to give you a hug and tell you how very sorry I am!!! :(
     
  35. weekazarr

    weekazarr Well-Known Member

    I am soo sorry for your loss...I am thinking of you xx
     
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