I need a book recommendation please!

It's been a while since I have raised a toddler. I've done well from 1-2yrs but this 2yr stuff has me stumped. I would love a book recommendation on raising toddlers. Topics can include tantrums, development, activities, etc.

I have twin tornadoes toddlers and it's driving me nuts! I could use all the help I can get!

 

started reading jane nelson's postiive discipline books right around 2 years adjusted... they saved me! start w/positive discipline, and go from there. it's brilliant, i think! here's a little summary i wrote a while back, if it helps:

the approach is based on understanding that all of children's behavior comes from their desire to belong and feel significant. they just do some really "interesting" things to achieve this! once we can kind of understand where they are coming from, it helps us in our approach to their behavior—which should always include a blending of kindness and firmness. what i like about positive discipline is it's non-punitive--punishing children for their behavior does not eliminate it (especially over time--even though it might work in the moment). an underlying theme of pos discipline is that you can't help children do better by making them feel worse. i have seen this to be VERY true w/my little ones--both of whom respond very negatively when i raise my voice or my "temperature rises." through what i've learned i'm working on keeping my own cool to help my guys stay calm (finding that changing my own behavior is often the key to helping them change theirs). and finally, i am constantly looking for ways to help my guys feel important. here's what i try to do as much as possible to achieve this:

--give them choices all day long (especially about things that don't really matter to me)

--give them lots of affection (no brainer--but sometimes we forgot to make time)

--give them lots of responsibility

--give them lots of encouragement

(the first letters of these spell out “care”—isn’t that cool?).



life has changed a lot around here since my guys became toddlers. but i'm sure that things are much better than they would have been if i hadn't happened upon this really groovy approach to making a difference in our families.



best of luck!

~~jl

 

Love and Logic for Early Childhood is a great starting point. It sounds like a similar approach to the book suggested above.

 

yes, i've read love and logic stuff, also--it's very similar to positive discipline. both have books specifinally about toddlers. i meant to mention that earlier.

 

love 1 2 3 Magic
after happiest toddler on the block
sorry for lack of author names

 

I enjoy reading parenting and child development books, and I found a few to be especially useful: Love and Logic for the Early Childhood, Easy to Love...Difficult to Discipline, 1-2-3 Magic, and Playful Parenting (the more laughing you elicit, the less tantruming you'll get...saw immediate positive results with this simple technique). These all gave me techniques that I use every day.

I also like the Ames and Ilg series of books on development, written for each year. The title of the 2-year-old book is "Your Two Year Old, Terrible or Tender". They explain what is going on in a child's development and why certain (distasteful) behaviors are quite normal and are just a developmental stage and will pass with further maturity. Knowing the psychology behind each age, broken down by quarter and half-years, is very enlightening. It makes me feel better to know that some of this seemingly insane behavior is actually quite sane, for 2-year-olds, and necessary for development.

When things get bad, I start chasing everyone around, laughing and screaming. It totally changes the bad attitudes, me included, and after a few minutes of screaching and laughing, we're all in much better moods. We also go outside every possible second and that does wonders for us all too.

Good luck!