I slept through their crying . . .

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by AmberG, Aug 6, 2009.

  1. AmberG

    AmberG Well-Known Member

    So this morning the babies woke up early at 5:30 a.m. so I fed them and put them back down, hoping to get a little more sleep. They went back to sleep. I turned off the monitor (which I have done before) so I wouldn't hear their chattering. DH left for the gym at 6:45 am and he said the babies were "stirring." I didn't know he had left for the gym. Well he gets back at 7:45 and I am asleep and the babies are screaming hysterically in their nursery. I didn't even hear them and their door was open and so was mine. I think I was in a deep sleep and I was having a weird dream. Anyway, I feel horrible about it. They could have been crying for up to one hour! DD was really upset and it took awhile for her to calm down.

    So I will always have to use the monitor from now on. We have been doing CIO for falling asleep. Do you think this will undermine CIO since I left them to cry for no reason. Will it confuse them?

    Last night I was reading parts of Dr. Sears' The Baby Book. He argues against CIO and says that mothers start to become immune to their babies' crying. So apparently that's what has happened to me and I don't feel very good about it. I'm not trying to start a CIO debate. While I don't like CIO, my babies don't respond very well to other soothing methods anymore, and I just don't have the energy to spend a long time soothing them. Sorry for the ramble, I just wanted to get this off my chest.
     
  2. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm so sorry you feel bad, these things happen sometimes. At least they were safe in their cribs at the time. Try not to let it bother you too much. :hug:
     
  3. piccologirl

    piccologirl Well-Known Member

    i disagree that CIO makes mothers immune to crying. i think only someone who isn't a mother could come up with such a silly idea. :rolleyes: we do CIO and i pop out of bed and i'm halfway up the stairs before i'm fully awake when our guys cry in the middle of the night.

    you're probably exhausted. you're definitely human. deep sleep is not something you can control so you shouldn't blame yourself. i've had a couple of occasions since the boys were born where i fell into a sleep so deep that DH couldn't wake me up even by turning on the light and shaking me. and i'm usually a hypersensitive sleeper, so it was a little scary for him.

    they've already forgotten about it, you haven't undone their CIO progress, and 99 times out of 100 you wake up with no troubles. go easy on yourself!
     
  4. betha

    betha Well-Known Member

    Oh, gosh. Don't be too hard on yourself. I bet you were just exhausted and in the middle of a dream. Your mommy sensor may not have gone off because you knew they were safe and in their crib.
    This does not mean you are tuned out to your twins needs. No way. Try not to worry.
    Beth
     
  5. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    Big :hug: Amber! So sorry your feeling bad, it's something that couldn't be helped and something that your babies have forgotten already. Being a Mum isn't always easy is it.
     
  6. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Don't beat yourself up :hug: I know I have slept through some crying fits and I am also one who turns the monitor off but I can usually always hear them. Trust me, doing CIO does not make mother's immune to crying because even to this day, I hate to hear either one of them crying!
     
  7. rosenschaf

    rosenschaf Well-Known Member

    Oh honey - when it happened to me once, the babies and I were all crying together for another half hour after I woke up. I was so upset and felt so guilty. But I do think that babies are really, really forgiving with these kinds of things and I don't think one episode like this will interfere with any kind of routine or program. Please be kind to yourself - you're a good mom and CIO has helped so many families!
     
  8. travellingmum

    travellingmum Well-Known Member

    Awww, don't feel bad. It happens. Once when my babies were newborn, I slept through one of them crying and he was only five feet away from me! My husband was trying to wake me up and I didn't even wake up then! I breastfeed, and when I finally woke up, my husband was frantically trying to prepare a bottle of formula. I felt awful for ages.
     
  9. AimeeThomp

    AimeeThomp Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Sorry you had a bad morning.
     
  10. scorpion509

    scorpion509 Well-Known Member

    First of all Don't feel guilty.
    I can tell you mother will sleep through her babies cry only when she didn't get enough sleep. and just think that this is good that at least you slept enough

    with my first DS I had almost the same I fed him and took him to my bed because I just want to sleep. I put him next to me ( not even in another room)
    when I wake up I didn't find him near by. can you imaging my shocj, I jump because I though he fall from the bed. in a min my nanny came with DS on hand and told me that he was histerically crying and she just came to check if I need help, but I was sleeping and didn't hear him crying, so she took hum and I get some sleep.
     
  11. Farrah

    Farrah Well-Known Member

    I did this too about a month ago. I was on the couch sleeping with Seth just a few feet away. My DH came down stairs and fed him...he said that I never even woke up! I was so upset and worried that it would happen again but it hasn't so don't worry too much! I agree with pp, you just were in a deep sleep cycle...and lord knows we are like walking zombies most of the time anyway! I never feel like I get enough sleep! Just try to forget about it and move on...the babies already did, :)!
     
  12. rrodman

    rrodman Well-Known Member

    They will be fine. They won't remember it. It won't undermine CIO. And you are not a bad mother or "immune" to your babies' crying. You were exhausted and asleep. They were safe in their cribs. I am very much NOT a fan of Dr. Sears, and this type of thing is a big reason why. :grr:
     
  13. AmberG

    AmberG Well-Known Member

    Thanks for reassuring me, ladies. So far, today has gone much better.
     
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