I'm the worst mother of the year

I am so horrible, I made not one but both of may babies throw up today. Both have feeding "issues" so it hard for me to read the signs and know when they are actually full or just being fussy. And they are not liking the different solids and textures I am trying with them. They had lunch, the usual, yogurt, veggie with pastina and some fruit. Some pastina got stuck in dd's throat, she threw up. Then they had their afternoon nap. They got up and I offered them their afternoon bottle. Dd had some and then threw up again what was obviously lunch. Then she burped and I found out a few minutes later also pooped. I felt so bad that I did not try any new foods at dinner either and gave them a yogurt instead of going with the pastina. They also have cereal, veggie and fruit. They are almost done and I guess I upped the ante since I changed foods around I wasn't exactly sure how much to feed them. And ds threw up what looked like at least half his dinner. Both times they are upset for a minute and then fine. They seem to have a sensitive gag reflex in addition to my overfeeding them and/or feeding them foods they can't handle. This does seem to happen, more with ds, like once a week or so. I just felt so bad for ds and I know he will be up in the middle of the night because he is hungry. (They go to bed right after dinner since they stopped taking the before bed bottle) I was afraid to offer him a bottle, a) I was worried he would throw up again and B) I didn't want to upset things further by putting him to bed late.

Anyway, I just feel like c*&^ I am so bad at this. I have no clue what I am doing. No one to show me or guide me. Dh gets upset when these things happen and kind of gets mad at me. And we both get nervous to try new things with them but they have to eat solids. It is taking too much purees to fill them up and they don't want to sit there for so long and their stomachs can't handle it. They won't chew/mash the food or even pick it up for that matter (they can though). I feel so bad, I am going to finish what I am doing here and take a shower and go to bed. I just wish they could tell me mommy, no more, I'm really full. I wish I had a clue what I was doing.

 

:hug99: You are so not a bad mom! You're a great mom! Every day is trial and error...and some days are a lot heavier on the "error" part. :lol: I have lots of rotten days where everything goes wrong.

One idea - have you thought about doing baby sign with your kids? They may be just at the beginning of the age where they can start "getting it," and it might really help with the communication issues.

 

:hug99: You are a great mom. Go to bed get some rest and sleep off the bad day. I do that alot.

 

Hi there. I just wanted to say that I don't think you're a bad mom at all. In fact, it sounds like you're feeding your babies wonderfully healthy food and caring for them every step of the way. It's hard to know how much is enough with babies. They may give you signals, but my sons' signals are changing all the time - it's hard to keep up! Also, just a suggestion from me, your babies were born in November but it looks like they were born 10 weeks early (from your signature) - is that right? Well, in that case their adjusted age is more than two months younger than their birth age. You can take that into account, can't you? Maybe they're not ready for a huge variety of foods - I know my boys aren't (they're 7.5 months and weren't born early).

 

You are not a bad mom...and by no far stretch are you the Worst mother of the year! You are a great mom. I can tell you that no matter how many children you have....it is different for each and every one! and they change often as stated in PP.

We are all here to help you, there are also resources that you have available in your area. Your pediatrician is a wealth of information, mommy and Me groups are great....ladies from your Church.

I hope you get some rest and realize today may have been a rough one...but tomorrow will be better for you and the babies! and by the way...they are both adorable


Missy

 

You are a great mom! We all have those days where we feel like bad moms, but we aren't! The fact that you are worrying so much about it is a sign that you love them tremendously! As first time moms, I think it is hard and stressful, but you are doing a wonderful job! My son has issues with eating and I feel guilty over it alot but when I see what a happy and great kid he is, I must be doing something right, right? My son would gag and throw up about two/three times a week but his reflex has gotten better and now he barely ever does. Just let him go at his own pace, he will learn. I don't want you to worry yourself...I know it's easier said then done! :hug99: :hug99:

 

:hug99: Oh my goodness. Sorry you are feeling bad. Wouldn't it be nice if each kid came with their very own instruction manual. Sounds like you are a wonderful mom and doing everything right. Even when you do do everything right, they have to make it hard on you, it's their job!

 

QUOTE(~ilyse~ @ Oct 11 2007, 04:42 PM) [snapback]446296[/snapback]
Anyway, I just feel like c*&^ I am so bad at this. I have no clue what I am doing. No one to show me or guide me. Dh gets upset when these things happen and kind of gets mad at me. And we both get nervous to try new things with them but they have to eat solids. It is taking too much purees to fill them up and they don't want to sit there for so long and their stomachs can't handle it. They won't chew/mash the food or even pick it up for that matter (they can though). I feel so bad, I am going to finish what I am doing here and take a shower and go to bed. I just wish they could tell me mommy, no more, I'm really full. I wish I had a clue what I was doing.

I'm so sorry! :hug99: In all honesty, you are not a bad mom. In fact I seriously want you to repeat that to yourself. (The babies are the only people there, they won't care if you're talking to yourself!) You sound like an overwhelmed and discouraged new mother who cares about her children. I wish I could send my MIL to your house, her hobby is babies. (Sounds weird, but if you met her you'd realize she is passionate about children and childrearing.) She's the one that taught me how to care for my oldest.

Speaking of my oldest - I inadvertently made him puke all the time. He was a "happy spitter". What helped was to feed him less food more often. Maybe giving them sips of water between bites would help with their gag reflex. Don't feel bad about today, you tried your best to do what you thought was right. No 2 children are alike and it takes a lot of experimenting on the parent's part to figure out what works best for them.

Also, I wonder if your DH isn't so much mad at you as upset that he feels helpless and takes it out on you? Maybe next time he gets snippy you could (nicely) say, "Please don't take your frustration out on me. I know you're upset, but I'm upset too."

:hug99: You are doing a great job. It's really hard to be a first time mom.