Just found out my friend

Discussion in 'General' started by mandylouwho, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. mandylouwho

    mandylouwho Well-Known Member

    :blink: I meant to say...just took her 4 years old out of a crib.


    An old friend and I were talking last night on the IM. It's funny since we both have twins. We dont talk much anymore and she lives in Upstate NY now, and we never see each other.

    Anyway, she just had another baby. She was telling me how she took her oldest out of the crib because she didn't want to buy a new one for the baby!! Her son was 4 in June!! So up until recently, her 4.5 year old was sleeping in a crib. And NO, not a crib/toddler bed. A CRIB.

    Maybe this sounds judgmental of me, but isn't that a little much? My boys were in a bed at 22 months, and I know some think thats early, but they were climbing out. I have seen 3 year olds in them, but thats the highest.

    Anyway, she said he was so excited to get a big boy bed. I was like, well...YEAH!!! lol....He has been in school since he was 3.
     
  2. Mommy2ATeam

    Mommy2ATeam Well-Known Member

    Wow. I don't like to judge others' parenting decisions, but 4.5 does seem really old to be in a crib. My girls were sharing a queen bed at 2 and in their own twin beds at 2.5. I can't imagine them still being in cribs! I love the fact that now at 3.5, they get up and come on into our room and climb in the bed with us when they wake up. It lets me wake up a little before having to get out of the bed. :)
     
  3. Snittens

    Snittens Well-Known Member

    Wow! Wouldn't he be too big for a crib by then? I can't even imagine lifting a 4.5 year old up into the crib!
     
  4. caba

    caba Banned

    Maybe I'm just naive, because I haven't done the move yet ... but I feel like I would love to keep my kids in cribs as long as possible!! I'm scared to death of the move to toddler beds ... I'm just afraid that they will get out and into all sorts of trouble ... I figured somewhere around 3 I would make the move ...
     
  5. 4lilmonkeys

    4lilmonkeys Well-Known Member

    I know a few people who waited until 3+ to take their toddlers out of the cribs. Their philosophy is that if they aren't climbing out of it, then why move them. Maybe it's a little old and I imagine it's not easy to get him out (especially if she's pregnant), but whatever. There are a whole lot of other, much worse things she could be doing or letting him do.
     
  6. summerfun

    summerfun Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(4lilmonkeys @ Feb 18 2009, 10:14 AM) [snapback]1194780[/snapback]
    I know a few people who waited until 3+ to take their toddlers out of the cribs. Their philosophy is that if they aren't climbing out of it, then why move them.

    I agree, I know a lot of people who feel this way. That's my thinking as well, although one of mine did climb out so she was moved to a bed earlier than I had hoped for.
     
  7. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    If he wasn't climbing out, then I don't see the issue. My four year olds would still fit in a crib, but they were crazy climbing out at 2 1/2 so they got their toddler beds. Liam now knows how to get himself out of the crib and I am freaking out. I am sooooo not ready for my 2 year old to stop being in a crib. If it worked for her, I don't see what the problem is. :unknw:
     
  8. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    We finally moved our DS out of his crib at 3.5 - he still wasn't trying to climb out, he'd just call for us when he woke up. He LOVED his crib and we were in no hurry to move him out of it. But the babies were due in Jan 08 and we wanted to redo his room into a big boy room before the babies arrived so he would be excited about his new "role" as a big brother! Honestly, if the child still likes sleeping in his/her crib - I don't see the big deal, really. Sure, 4.5 does seem a little old - but maybe the kids are really attached to their cribs? I don't know? I found the move to a big boy bed extremely easy at the age of 3.5.
     
  9. twinzmom2b

    twinzmom2b Well-Known Member

    I would've kept my twins in cribs until they were 3 if I wouldn't have had another on the way. But, they got moved at 2.5 in preparation for Olivia coming. I could NOT imagine having them in a crib now...they are 3.5. But, to each his own I guess. Good thing they got him out of a crib before he started having sleepovers...lol...sorry, couldn't resist!
     
  10. twinmuffin

    twinmuffin Well-Known Member

    I was first thinking, since she is in New York, maybe she didn't have room for a bed, but with a new baby on the way... she better have room! I guess if it was working fine, then it was fine. I personally wouldn't do it, but as long as everyone was happy in the situation I see no harm.
     
  11. dfaut

    dfaut 30,000-Post Club

    I would totally be doing that if I could have!!! SHE ROCKS!!!! :good:
     
  12. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    QUOTE(moski @ Feb 18 2009, 10:17 AM) [snapback]1194787[/snapback]
    If it worked for her, I don't see what the problem is. :unknw:


    I agree Maureen. All of my kids have switched around 2, but I don't see a problem with it.
     
  13. excitedk

    excitedk Well-Known Member

    I don't see moving mine anytime soon, I'll report back when they are 4 :winking: They like it, we love it, life is good!
     
  14. sharon_with_j_and_n

    sharon_with_j_and_n Well-Known Member

    I had a colicky baby that didn't sleep through the night until she was 2 and 1/2. I say when it comes to sleeping...if it's working DON'T MAKE CHANGES!! For that reason, if my girls were sleeping through the night happily in their cribs and they weren't trying to climb out they would still be in there (and they're 5). We only went to big girl beds because the cribs weren't working and we needed a change. Whatever gets you the most sleep ;) .
     
  15. HeyThere

    HeyThere Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mandylouwho @ Feb 18 2009, 06:50 AM) [snapback]1194756[/snapback]
    .

    Maybe this sounds judgmental of me, but isn't that a little much? My boys were in a bed at 22 months, and I know some think thats early, but they were climbing out. I have seen 3 year olds in them, but thats the highest.


    Yeah, it does sound judgmental of you. Who cares where her son sleeps? If that is what worked for her family, who are you to say its a little much?


    QUOTE(moski @ Feb 18 2009, 07:17 AM) [snapback]1194787[/snapback]
    If he wasn't climbing out, then I don't see the issue. My four year olds would still fit in a crib, but they were crazy climbing out at 2 1/2 so they got their toddler beds. Liam now knows how to get himself out of the crib and I am freaking out. I am sooooo not ready for my 2 year old to stop being in a crib. If it worked for her, I don't see what the problem is. :unknw:



    I agree.
     
  16. OneBoyOneGirl

    OneBoyOneGirl Well-Known Member

    I am SO jealous of you guys whose kids didnt climb out until 2 or 3!! Corbin was out at 15 months! Having a kid in a crib at 4 is so not a big deal, I would probably be doing the same if I could. I remember the move to big kid beds was the one of the scariest ones!
     
  17. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    Last time I checked, there still wasn't a manual that came with babies.
     
  18. Becca34

    Becca34 Well-Known Member

    It seems a little strange to me because we moved Nadia right at 2 -- but whatever works, you know? I'm sure I make some parenting decisions that cause others to raise an eyebrow...

    I'm keeping my little ones in their cribs as long as humanly possible, because I know they'll never stay put in beds! They have totally different personalities than their big sister.

    The only thing is, Nadia has been getting up at night to go to the bathroom by herself since she was 2 -- how does that work in a crib? :unknw:
     
  19. mandylouwho

    mandylouwho Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(HeyThere @ Feb 18 2009, 11:42 AM) [snapback]1194957[/snapback]
    Yeah, it does sound judgmental of you. Who cares where her son sleeps? If that is what worked for her family, who are you to say its a little much?
    I agree.


    Its my opinion dear. I didn't say it to her.

    For the record, her house is in Upstate NY. She has a 4 bedroom home.

    To me, keeping a 4.5 year old in a crib is a way of trying to keep them babies. It also has something to do with lazyness because you don't want to change things. I can have an opinion you know.

    My friend (We will call her J) is a very lax mom and feels her kids can do what they want until THEY say they need a change. If that works for her, then great. But as for me, and the development of my children, sleeping in a bed where babies do until they are almost in kindergarten is not a choice I would make.

    I can understand why people are resistant to the change...especially since they sleep well there etc. But being afraid to change something that works just teaches a child that change is not necessarily good.

    I do not think a 3 year old is too big. I think thats about where I would draw the line.

    It was just MY OPINION that it was a little too long for a CHILD to be in a crib. I am allowed an OPINION, regardless of weather or not it sounds judgmental or not.
     
  20. angie7

    angie7 Well-Known Member

    My girls will be 3 in a few weeks and still in a crib. We will probably move them once they turn 3 though but they aren't crawling out yet so I haven't made the move.
     
  21. mandylouwho

    mandylouwho Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(moski @ Feb 18 2009, 10:17 AM) [snapback]1194787[/snapback]
    I am sooooo not ready for my 2 year old to stop being in a crib. If it worked for her, I don't see what the problem is. :unknw:



    I guess this is my point. Its hard to let the baby things go, and I can understand that. I will be sad when Collin is out of a crib!! But its the fact that the parent is not ready, not the child, and its hard to find that line.
     
  22. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    QUOTE(mandylouwho @ Feb 18 2009, 12:09 PM) [snapback]1194991[/snapback]
    I guess this is my point. Its hard to let the baby things go, and I can understand that. I will be sad when Collin is out of a crib!! But its the fact that the parent is not ready, not the child, and its hard to find that line.


    For me, it's really not the baby thing, it's the getting out of bed more often thing.
     
  23. OneBoyOneGirl

    OneBoyOneGirl Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mandylouwho @ Feb 18 2009, 05:04 PM) [snapback]1194983[/snapback]
    Its my opinion dear. I didn't say it to her.

    For the record, her house is in Upstate NY. She has a 4 bedroom home.

    To me, keeping a 4.5 year old in a crib is a way of trying to keep them babies. It also has something to do with lazyness because you don't want to change things. I can have an opinion you know.

    My friend (We will call her J) is a very lax mom and feels her kids can do what they want until THEY say they need a change. If that works for her, then great. But as for me, and the development of my children, sleeping in a bed where babies do until they are almost in kindergarten is not a choice I would make.

    I can understand why people are resistant to the change...especially since they sleep well there etc. But being afraid to change something that works just teaches a child that change is not necessarily good.

    I do not think a 3 year old is too big. I think thats about where I would draw the line.

    It was just MY OPINION that it was a little too long for a CHILD to be in a crib. I am allowed an OPINION, regardless of weather or not it sounds judgmental or not.


    You're the one that said "It might sound judgemental of me" and she agreed. You are that one that posted your opinion. Are people not supposed to disagree with it?
     
  24. 4lilmonkeys

    4lilmonkeys Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mandylouwho @ Feb 18 2009, 11:04 AM) [snapback]1194983[/snapback]
    Its my opinion dear. I didn't say it to her.

    It was just MY OPINION that it was a little too long for a CHILD to be in a crib. I am allowed an OPINION, regardless of weather or not it sounds judgmental or not.


    You know Mandy, people probably wouldn't think you were judgmental if you didn't post stuff like this all. the. time.
    I hope you never have someone pick apart your life the way you pick apart the lives of others. Live and let live. You'll sure be a lot happier for it.
     
  25. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    ummmm...mine will be 3 in May and are in no way shape or form ready to be out of cribs - they sleep very well, don't climb out (in fact my son's rail got left down the other night and when he woke up he couldn't figure out how to get out) so he just called for me so I could help him...

    I don't think it has anything to do with "keeping him a baby" it has to do with the fact that he's happy and content and sleeps so what's the problem...oh and at 4.5 he can probably get himself in and out without lifting so maybe it wasn't too difficult for her....
     
  26. ehm

    ehm Banned

    One of my children napped daily in a crib M-F until age 4 and 7 months. My child was happy, I was happy and it was the only arrangement I had. It had nothing to do with wanting my child to still be a baby it was logistically the only thing that worked at the time (yes, my 4 years old still napped). Judge away!
     
  27. momofmandb

    momofmandb Well-Known Member

    I am of the opinion if it is was still working for them it's not a big deal. I have a friend who does everything with her kids earlier than me. It was an ongoing joke between us when my kids were still sleeping in todler beds at 3.5 and hers had been in beds since 18 months. I know people who are suprised that my youngest now still takes a nap and she will be four in a few short months. It works for us so I am not worried about it!
     
  28. Dielle

    Dielle Well-Known Member

    I'd be very surprised if he can't get in and out of the crib at 4. I can see it might make it a bit more difficult if he had to get out to use the bathroom, but if that's not an issue and he was happy and healthy, I don't really see the problem. I haven't left any of my kids in a crib that long, but some of my kids never slept in a crib at all. I co-sleep w/ my babies and in my old house, we didn't have room for a crib at one point. They all sleep in their beds just fine now... well, Sabrina does often climb in bed w/ Sage, but it's a lot more cozy bed and Sage is happy to have her.

    She sounds like a Mom who just isn't high strung about things, maybe just more relaxed than many of us.
     
  29. KCMichigan

    KCMichigan Well-Known Member

    I dont have a problem with it.

    My 2 were in cribs until 3 and change and then we switched them because a latch broke. It was a GREAT trasition without problems. That said--we were going to wait until 3.5 or more. One of my DDs LOVED her crib and craved the security (she has sensory issues and the 'closed' in feeling was comforting)--neither climbed out. So it worked for us. She still naps in a PNP without a problem ( she is under the weight limit) and loved it. She can get out--but likes the small space or her own.

    As long as it is not harmful to the child--I dont see what the problem is. I probably would not wait that long--but dont see how it would be an issue if the child didnt mind and it was not impacting his growth.
     
  30. twoplustwo

    twoplustwo Well-Known Member

    personally I wish I could have kept my kids in a crib until 4 y/o. It sure would have helped me sleep longer in the am. Hey, if her ds was okay with it, all the power to her. No big deal. I think there are many kids in this world who don't get a bed at all. he clearly had one he felt safe and comfortable in. Why fix something that isn't broken.

    oh, ehm, my dd napped until she was 5 and 5 months.She stopped the day she started kinder. (well, actually the day after. The first day she fell asleep on the bus home so technically she did nap that day too.)
     
  31. mandylouwho

    mandylouwho Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(4lilmonkeys @ Feb 18 2009, 12:42 PM) [snapback]1195030[/snapback]
    You know Mandy, people probably wouldn't think you were judgmental if you didn't post stuff like this all. the. time.
    I hope you never have someone pick apart your life the way you pick apart the lives of others. Live and let live. You'll sure be a lot happier for it.


    Trust me, my life has plenty to pick apart. I expect judgement from others. We don't have to like it, but its a part of life to be judged. Some are less judgmental than others. I admire people like that. I chose to post the topic because I thought it bizarre. I have never heard of a child being in a crib that long. If it works for people that's fine. Does not mean I can't think its a little bizarre. (I see the size of my 4 year olds and can't imagine it.)

    Also. If you don't like what I post all. the. time. Don't read it.
     
  32. snoopytwins

    snoopytwins Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(4lilmonkeys @ Feb 18 2009, 11:14 AM) [snapback]1194780[/snapback]
    I know a few people who waited until 3+ to take their toddlers out of the cribs. Their philosophy is that if they aren't climbing out of it, then why move them. Maybe it's a little old and I imagine it's not easy to get him out (especially if she's pregnant), but whatever. There are a whole lot of other, much worse things she could be doing or letting him do.

    I so believe in this philosophy. I had no intention of moving mine until 3 at the earliest. Unfortunately, one of my boys has discovered the joy of climbing out of his crib so we will be converting both boys' beds this weekend (I've caught J attempting to climb out since L discovered he could get out). I'm terrified they're going to fall or hit/break something. I'm also terrified of how many times a night I'm going to have to say "get back in bed."
     
  33. SweetpeaG

    SweetpeaG Well-Known Member

    There are lots of reasons someone might keep their kids in beds until 4.

    *Smaller kids. My boys are 3-years old and 26 pounds. They fit perfectly in their cribs and getting them in and out is not a problem as they do it themselves quite capably.

    *Discipline-wise, they may be nowhere near ready for beds.

    *Safety-wise the parents may feel safer knowing they are in cribs until morning instead of potentially wandering the house during the night/early morning (climbers/curious to the detriment of their own safety/sleepwalkers).

    *Not to mention the fact that perhaps the kids are perfectly happy and attached to their cribs.

    I know at 3 mine aren't ready for the transition. I have one boy that could handle it freedom-wise were he not in the same room with the other boy that could NOT handle it freedom-wise to egg him on. However, the one who could handle it is so dependent on his crib that sleeping elsewhere is quite a hassle and disrupts his sleep terribly. He likes to sleep with his back thrown up against the side of a crib and can honestly not get good sleep in a bed because he spends all night looking for something to push up against.

    Just my two cents, but I guess I don't care if it's working for the family.
     
  34. 4lilmonkeys

    4lilmonkeys Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(mandylouwho @ Feb 18 2009, 12:36 PM) [snapback]1195111[/snapback]
    Also. If you don't like what I post all. the. time. Don't read it.


    :rolleyes:

    Okay Mandy. I don't usually pay attention to WHO posts stuff, just the topic. If it's interesting I'll read it. If not, I don't. So, maybe you should just post "HEY LOOK I'M BEING JUDGMENTAL AGAIN" and then I won't need to bother. ;)
     
  35. MamaKimberlee

    MamaKimberlee Well-Known Member

    If mine weren't such climbing monkeys, I'd leave them in forever! But eventually the crib rails don't even slow them down getting out, and I give up!
     
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