just sleep issues all around and I'm totally losing it!

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by 3under2!, Oct 27, 2012.

  1. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    My kids are totally off schedule (bigger one included!) and their sleep is getting worse and worse. On friday I finally got them to go down for two naps but we went to synagogue today so that screwed that up and tomorrow I teach hebrew school and DH is officiating at a funeral, so they have to come with me to school, which means another day of messed up naps. So monday we will be starting back at square 1, nap wise. Plus, they don't go down easily and cry if I leave the room and require several minutes of back patting apiece before they go down.

    Nights are even worse they wake up 4-5 times EACH. If I get them down by 7 then they wake up 9ish, 11ish, 1ish, 3ish, 5ish....I KNOW they are not hungry, but they refuse to go down without nursing. They don't wake up to party, they just eat and go back to sleep, but they seriously can't be hungry that often, they are on solids now and eating quite well.

    Neither DH nor I can stomach CIO, but I am thisclose to giving it a shot :(. I am at my wits' end!!! with exhaustion, and I'm just getting pissed off by all the neediness at night. I don't know where I screwed this up, at this age my older daughter nursed once at around midnight and was good to go till 6 or 7 am. I am so frustrated. I haven't slept more than 4 hours at a time since they came home from the hospital and that was 9 months ago.

    I just told DH that if he wants their sleep to get better he is going to have to be the one to go in and soothe them, because as soon as they know it's me they want to eat. Right now he's into the idea, but who knows when he has to go in there for the 3rd, 4th, 5th time for 15-20 minutes each time.

    Actually, DH just came back from going in there and now Mushka is sleeping in my bed????? Scratch the whole DH on board thing. HELP MEEEEEE!!!! :gah: :gah: :gah: :gah: :gah: :gah:
  2. Mom2VLS

    Mom2VLS Well-Known Member

    One thing that I have found can sometimes help when sleep schedules get thrown off is to try for an earlier bed time for a few nights. It seems that can sometimes help reset their clocks, so to speak. So maybe try getting them to bed by 6:30 or even 6 starting tomorrow night or Monday night or whatever your first opportunity is. In my experience, if we can get in one or two good night's sleep, naps fall back into place more easily.

    Wish I could be more help but I'm not all that great at the bed times/schedule thing. :grouphug:
  3. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    9 months old....prime sleep issue time, I'm sorry to tell ya. Soldier on, stick to your routine, try to break the nighttime feeding habit, and try to stay patient! I think all my kids went through a 9 month sleep battle. It could also be a growth spurt that's throwing their nighttime sleep off.

    Have you ever tried lullabies?? Lullabies worked wonders with all my kids. I've used them since birth with my 3 younger ones, and since about 1 yrs old with my oldest. Once they are used to them, and they know they get played at night time, it's helped settle them down and helped with their sleep routine immensely. Might be worth picking up a lullaby cd and trying it for a few nights time.

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  4. twinkler

    twinkler Well-Known Member

    I agree, try an earlier bedtime of at the least, 6pm, for several days. I do this whenever our naps start to deteriorate which without a doubt then affects their night sleep (maybe not at first but it will catch up_. We usually have a bedtime of 5.30 so for us an earlier bedtime is 5pm and even 4.45 for my short napper, so don't be afraid to go earlier, because if they can get the sleep at the front of their night sleep it will do wonders, as it's been said that the most restorative sleep is before midnight.

    If you continue to take them out during their nap time, you are not going to be able to fix their issue, so clear everything on your agenda for a week and spend it home working on their naps, this will without a doubt will restore their energy so that they can sleep better at night.

    GL! and as Dielle, said soldier on, stick to your routine and this too shall pass.
  5. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    Logistically, how do you do an earlier bedtime?? Like, if they are going down at 5:30 (we do 6 some days, but not always, our regular bedtime is 7) what time do you start dinner, bath, bed?? When does the daddy get to see his kiddos?
  6. twinkler

    twinkler Well-Known Member

    I do dinner at 4.30, into the bath by 4.50/5pm, milk (when they had it) and into bed by 5.15 - 5.30 at the latest. DH started a new job two weeks ago so prior to that he used to be home by 4pm so he did dinner and bath. But now he doesn't get home till 5.30. Initially we tried to extend their bedtime to 6pm (DST started at the same time) but they weren't falling asleep until 6.45 and waking up around 9pm for a play and their wake up time was getting earlier and earlier (a classic sign that they were going to bed just a little too late) so we've moved back to 5.15 and they're usually asleep by 5.30 - am I making any sense?

    DH understands the importance of their sleep because he sees the benefits ie, no more night wakes and too early morning wake ups - he didn't understand at first when we started the early bedtimes (around 4 months) but now he is a convert. I think at the end of the day, their sleep is more important then the extra stimulation they get from seeing Daddy at the end of the day. And you know, for you, because you have a later bedtime anyway, you really only need to do this for about 3-4 days (maybe a week if they're still struggling) and then they can go back to their later bedtime.

    Oh and to make dinner prep a little bit easier, I usually put a little of our previous night's dinner aside for them to have the next night and also have some extra meals in the freezer for a quick defrost in the microwave. And yeah, I am so missing his help at bath time, thank goodness for my 12 year old! :)
  7. daisies

    daisies Well-Known Member

    Sorry sleep has gotten so difficult Mariam. It is so easy to get behind, especially when the schedule is all topsy turvy.

    We have been struggling this week also. My mom had the kids last week and did a great job. She did not have it easy. between Hannah's teething and learning to stand in her crib, my normally good sleeper is now cranky, waking frequently, and taking a long time to fall asleep. Funny thing about a sleep deficit, sometimes it doesn't show up right away, but takes a few days.
    We normally do bed time at 6. The last few days I have put them down at 5:30. It seems to be helping, slowly. (after reading pp i might try 5:15) Definitely try the earlier bed time.

    Naps.. it is hard when you have obligations that interrupt nap schedules. One thing i have done that may or may not work for you... If I have something that starts just after they would normally go down, I have a friend who will come over and stay. I put them down and then as soon as they are up she will bring them to me. (I don't know how close your school is or if that would work.)
    It is an hour of her time but makes a world of difference for me (and them)!
    Also, it sounds like you are desperate enough that a 'calling in sick' might be something you would consider. My theory on that is 'if I were to keep going like this I would get sick'! An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure kinda thing. I bet if you explained your issue there would be people willing to step up and cover your class for a week. I think most of us are amazed you are managing 3 under 2 AND teaching a class!!!!

    In regards to DH's time with them.. Is his schedule flexible enough that he could make it home 'for lunch' and then make up the work time at the end of the day? Maybe you could even do baths while he is home in the middle of the day?

    GL, hang in there!
  8. jdorourk

    jdorourk Well-Known Member

    For those doing early bedtime to catch up on sleep, what time were they waking for the day? Usual time or earlier than normal?
  9. Mom2VLS

    Mom2VLS Well-Known Member

    Texgirl - A lot of times good sleep begets good sleep so they actually wake at their normal time or sometimes even later than normal. Counterintuitive, I know, but it works.
  10. daisies

    daisies Well-Known Member

    My kids get up at 6:00 regardless of what time they go to bed! Believe me I have tried the later bedtime for later wake up. It works the OPPOSITE! a couple of days of late bed time (later than 6pm) and they start waking up at 5am.. if i continue with late bedtime they get earlier and earlier.. have difficulty falling asleep, periodic waking through the night, and restlessness starting at 3am!
    I give them a few night of early bedtime and sleep quality improves and wake up gets later again..
    Go figure, makes no sense to me, but it works. :pardon:

    Sleep begets sleep... sometimes i have to give myself a pep talk to get them to bed early, because it still shocks me they can sleep 12 hours straight.
    Try it! if they are waking at night anyway what can it hurt?
  11. twinkler

    twinkler Well-Known Member

    Usual time, if not later - we always get earlier awakenings if they are always a little too late for bed.
  12. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    Success!!! I finally got them to go down easily for two naps today!! Unfortunately the first nap was only 45 mins for boththe girls but mush slept 1.5 hours forbher second nap which is a huge success! Yay!
  13. daisies

    daisies Well-Known Member

    :) :yahoo: :Clap:
    good progress!
    good job Miriam!
  14. Mom2VLS

    Mom2VLS Well-Known Member

  15. twinkler

    twinkler Well-Known Member

    Well done you!!! [​IMG]
  16. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    Ok so here is a mystery for all you sleep experts on here:
    Friday, the girls slept horribly, Mushka took one 45 minute nap and Chana'le took two. We slept over at someone's house last night, I got both girls asleep at 6. Mushka woke up at 7:15 and stayed up till I put her to bed at 11. Chan woke up at least once between 7 and 12, when I went to bed. Then they woke up at 1, 3, 5 and were up for the morning at 630. But...wait the story gets better!! They took a 2.5 hour nap at 9 am, and another 1.5 hour nap at 230, waking up at 4.

    So the great mystery is: what the heck is wrong with my house that they don't sleep here? Chan was sleeping in a PnP and Mush slept on my (incredibly uncomfortable bed. Any ideas?
  17. twinkler

    twinkler Well-Known Member

    Very very very overtired and played catch up - if you'd been home, I dare say the same thing would have happened. Sooner or later they will be so exhausted (especially with all the night wakes previous night) that they will have some long naps to catch up. The trick is not to let them sleep too long that it would interfere with either their next nap or even bedtime and to continue with your routine.

    With Liara, my consistent catnapper (who I don't want to jinx by even writing this: lengthened her naps to 1.5hours consistently the past 7 days!), well I looked forward to her once every 3 weeks playing catch up with her sleep when she slept a good 2.5-3hour nap. It was very infrequent but regular enough that the catch up did her good for a few days.

    PS: well done on the 6pm bed time, and also just wanted to add: sometimes things get worse before they get better so hang in there.
  18. Mom2VLS

    Mom2VLS Well-Known Member

    I'm definitely no sleep expert but what she said ^^
  19. daisies

    daisies Well-Known Member

    I agree with this, but might add...

    It sounds like the messed up schedule started at your house.. the shortened naps... right?

    You might try getting them outside before the first nap to tire them out. this might help you get a better first nap and then hopefully the rest of the day will fall into place.

    I try to do active things first thing in the morning with them, bright lights, exciting games, but when the first nap gets sketchy the best is outside. Then make sure you do calm, soothing stuff just before they go down for first nap.

    Ha.. i googled 'tire them out whatever the weather and came up with THIS
    don't think it will help right now but maybe in a few years :lol:

    Sorry to hear they aren't keeping with the schedule.
    glad you got to get out, with your DH gone!
  20. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    So I've been thinking about it, and I realized a couple of things: 1. I gave them breakfast food. 2. They (or rather Chana'le) only slept 12 hours. Many nights they are in bed sleeping (besides wakeups) for 13+ hours. And 3, prior to putting Mushka to sleep, I took her outside for a few minutes.

    Today I put Chan in her crib and Mushka on my bed. Mushka still needs to be rocked/patted to sleep, but I'm going to work on that on a later date, it's more important to me that they are taking better naps right now. They both slept 2 hours for their afternoon nap. (The morning nap go cut short bc we had to leave :()

    Last night also went really well, they woke up at 11 to eat, Chanale then slept till the morning (at least, I think so, I don't REMEMBER going to her lol) and Mushka went till 4 somethingish, then slept till 715. This is a HUGE improvement (knock on wood)!!

    I will have to work on getting out early in the morning, I'm also into the idea that lots of sun+outdoors=better sleep. However, that is when they are happiest and most easily self entertained, so I try to wash dishes, get some laundry in, drink my coffee in peace etc during that time. And getting dressed at 7 am just bothers me!! But maybe we will change up our routine and try it out.

    The 45 min nap thing did start at my house, so maybe the change of scenery got them out of their rut! It was SO NICE to have so much time with my older daughter this afternoon while they were sleeping, and getting them down to nap was so much less stressful for me.

    knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood!!
  21. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    THEY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    :ibiggrin: :clapping: :drinks: :banana: :yahoo: :Clap: :rofl: :lol: :woo: :woohoo:

    (haha that was fun!)
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  22. twinkler

    twinkler Well-Known Member

    [​IMG] [​IMG] - I am so happy to hear this Miriam!!! More importantly, did you sleep?!
    1 person likes this.
  23. Mom2VLS

    Mom2VLS Well-Known Member

    Yay! I second the question above. I can't seem to sleep through the night even when the girls do.
  24. jdorourk

    jdorourk Well-Known Member

    Yay too!

    I am in the same boat as Jess.... my twins are finally down to one night feed around 2-4, but I'm still waking up at the time of their early feed (12-1)... ugh... I've got new mom insomnia bad!
  25. rayceryin12

    rayceryin12 Well-Known Member

  26. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    HELL YES, I slept six whole hours and I have never felt more rested in my life!!! They still wake to feed around 11-12 am but I am rarely in bed by then, or I just do a dream feed before I go to sleep. But it's awesome!!
  27. Amycplus

    Amycplus Well-Known Member

    So happy for you! And envious. I haven't had a sleep through the night yet. One day soon, I hope...
  28. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    I hope so too!
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