Keeping twins a surprise?

I'm a new member here and currently 27 weeks 4 days with twins. We've had a very bumpy pregnancy thus far, with several issues and bed rest since week 13. Initially we planned on announcing the pregnancy after the 1st trimester, but the day it ended is the day our issues started so we decided to postpone w/ things being so up in the air. We have only told parents and sibling about this so far. A few very close friends know that we are expecting but not that its twins.

We are planning on officially announcing that we're expecting this weekend at 28 weeks, but I think I'm pretty adamant that at this point I would just like to keep the twin part a surprise (from everyone except parents and sibling who already know) until delivery. My husband is ok w/ whatever I decide. Since I'm on very strict bed rest at home right now, and already been admitted to the hospital for 2 weeks in b/w for monitoring we've decided to do a "meet the babies" shower a couple of months after the babies are home instead of a traditional shower beforehand. Would love to hear some opinions/advice on the whole keeping the twins a surprise thing... Thanks.

 

Hi and welcome to Twinstuff. :welcome: I hope the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful. I know for me, there would be no way I could keep having twins a secret.

 

My husband wanted to keep it close to us, just because of the complications that I had had early on, however, we didn't manage to have success at doing so. For us there were too many factors (work, childcare, money, etc). I can completely understand why you would, and think that it is your decision and if that is what you feel is needed, then it should be done. There is nothing wrong with having a shower after the babies come to help out with the things you may need and think that having the shower after the babies come is an awesome idea if waiting is what you want to do. Good luck, I would never have the willpower to hold off on telling other people!

 

:wavey: and welcome to Twinstuff!!

I don't think our parents or siblings would have been very good with keeping the secret. :hush: BUT if you feel better keeping it that way, then go for it. :good: I hope the rest of your pregnancy is a healthy one. :hug:

 

I just cant imagine keeping something so special, such a miracle a secret, but it your ok with it then go for it!! Wishing you a H&H remaining pregnancy. :grouphug:

 

Thanks so much for your responses...its great to get some insight on what others think. Someone mentioned doing whats best for the babies...while I know that people knowing about the twins couldn't affect the outcome directly, all the extra hype from nosy friends and relatives mixed with my hormones may not be good for me to be around, esp w/ the latest complication being pre-term labor...as one of the big onsets can be stress.

I'm very excited for my friends and relatives to share in our excitement once the babies are here safe and healthy. It's been very hard keeping it a secret, but feel that these 9 months of my life I am an incubator first and anything else comes second. We'll have plenty of time for showing them off and buying twin stuff and all that once they're here, but most importantly for now I just need to keep them cooking as long as possible.

Thanks again for the opinions and please do let me know if you think of anything else.

 

I think it's a really neat idea actually. Although if people know it's twins you will likely get alot more things at your shower, like matching outfits etc
I can't imagine being on bedrest since week 13. Hugs to you for that.

 

Thanks for the hugs and your response It's hard to imagine lying horizontal for 6 months unless its for the health of your babies...I'd do anything to get our babies here safely and I know this bed rest will merely be a blip in the big picture.

The shower/gift thing isn't an issue b/c due to the strict bedrest and being in and out of the hospital, we cannot do a traditional shower beforehand. So we'll be doing a meet the babies/shower a couple of months after the babies arrive. We are buying all the necessary items, but I'm sure we'll need a lot more stuff by the time we have the shower.

 

Sounds like you could definitely keep it secret and that is the best decision for you - me, I couldn't have done it at all! I am greedier than you, I guess, but I put a lot of things on my registry in double - like two bouncers, two carseats, four bases, a double stroller, bedding for two cribs, two swings, etc., etc. and don't know what I would have done if those weren't given to us. We got a lot of gifts before the babies were born even without showers, for which I am eternally grateful. Also, people who knew we were expecting twins were more likely to offer help and a friend coordinated people brining food every other day for TWO MONTHS, which I know wouldn't have happened if we had a singleton and had to be coordinated before the babies got here! It boils down to what you think is best and it sounds like you guys are financially better off than we were if you can afford to by all the basics to have on hand anyway! Or maybe my idea of basics is different - because I wanted to be fully stocked and loaded and ready for anything once they got here. I even went into panic mode because the nursery wasn't done when I was put on bedrest even though I knew they wouldn't need a cute nursery to come home - so that's just me. I am actually glad that we had so much stuff on-hand, though, because getting out and about with preemie twins at first was difficult!

 

I had a lot of complications during my twins pregnancy, to the point that I was told for the first 6 mths that my son had no chance of survival (thankfully, he is a happy healthy 1 yr old now) I experience pre-term labor early on (21 weeks eek) and was on meds to control it so scared doesn't even begin to cover what you must be feeling.
I understand how you feel and toyed with the idea myself - I chose to tell people bc I needed the support to get me through. I knew if something went wrong I would need to lean on everyone I could.

I am happy to say once we got to 33 weeks and my lil man wanted out (and took his sister for the ride ), I was glad I had all the support from the beginning. It is a very personal decision and one that you an DH shoudl feel confident about no matter which way you choose to go.