My baby is overtired

So despite all the sleep books I have read and efforts we have made, I have an overtired baby on my hands. He has been going through some tummy troubles which interrupted his sleep. To support him, we held him and then it got to the point where we were rocking him to sleep. Now we are in this dynamic where 50% of the time, he will not be put down once he falls asleep, he just cries and will not settle. He will sleep in our arms but not be put down. This is hard on us, but doable, in the evening when DH is home but not during the day when i am alone with the boys. How can i get him back on track getting the sleep he needs while not abandoning his brother?

His days this week have looked like this: he goes down easily for his first nap about 2.25 hours after he wakes and sleeps for about 2 hours. Then he will not go down for his afternoon nap about two hours after wake up (as he would easily in the past). I keep moving the time I put him down earlier and earlier to see if it will help but it doesn't. He will crash after being awake for three hours but then only sleeps for half an hour, usually in my arms as he will not be put down. Then he won't nap again for the rest of the day. We put him down for bed, usually early because he hasn't slept, but he only sleeps for half an hour. Then he is up and wants to be nursed and held for up to two hours. He is subsequently up another three times in the night.

I know we caved to the regression when he wasn't sleeping well and now we are really stuck. Because he needs to be rocked and it takes a while, I struggle with this during the day as his brother, if not sleeping, is left to play in the pack n play. Motion is not an option either as he has always struggled to fall asleep in the car and stroller. What can I do? Please help us get back on track.

TIA,

Amy

 

Do you have a wrap or sling? Will he sleep in that for those times he won't settle any other way?

We ran into a similar problem with Emmett & I actually re-introduced the swing. Whenever he napped for less than an hour I'd put him in the swing & about 80% of the time he'd go back to sleep for an hour or so. Once he was better rested, he stopped cat napping as much & started napping for 1.5 - 2 hours in his crib. That being said, it doesn't seem to take much to throw it all into disarray again. We still have the swing on stand by for those days I can't get him to settle any other way. In fact, I used it just this morning after a 25 minute morning "nap" (he currently has a cold & is teething to boot).

I've also found that I tend to hold on to the short awake window longer then he needs. Sometimes, I've needed to extend his awake window to find the sweet spot. This has been the total opposite of what I had to do with my girls so it's usually the last thing I think to try.

 

The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is wearing him. Is he able to sleep in a sling or carrier? That would still make it hard to care for his brother but it may give you a little bit more mobility.

Another thought - do you think if you had a few days to only care for him (i.e., if someone else was able to watch your other baby), do you think that would help him catch up on sleep and be less overtired?

This sounds like a tough situation - you have my sympathies. My girls have also gone through a rough patch and I have been finding that the suggestions from the sleep books are not easy to implement in practice.

 

I was also going to suggest wearing him. If it were me, I'd strap him to my back in my Ergo and go about my business for that afternoon nap. My boy definitely needs at least 3 hours between naps or he won't fall asleep so I'm not sure trying to make the nap earlier is the best option as it sounds like 3 hours is working for your guy--to some extent. A 2-3-4 schedule is pretty common for 8 months.

We still have lots of 30-45 minute naps in our house and I know part of it not having time to dedicate getting them back to sleep when they wake up like I was able to do with my first. Like Jen said the books have good advice, but it's not often practical with twins or if you have an older child. I know our 3-year-old's needs have impacted our ability to keep consistent to naps with the twins. Fortunately, they do pretty well without long naps during the day and are mostly happy.

Also, sleep just kind of sucks between 8-10 months. I'm dreading that upcoming time period for ours.

 

I haven't read the other posts so I don't know if anyone mentioned this, but to me it sounds as if his morning nap is too long. If you shorten this to 1.25-1.5 hours, you may find he will sleep easier in the afternoon with the shorter awake time.

ETA: I never let mine sleep longer than 1.5 hours (or past 10.30am) in the morning nap to protect their afternoon nap as this is the one they need more than any other as they need to be well rested for bedtime to occur without problems.

 

These suggestions are what worked well for my DS at 8 months. especially the keeping him awake for longer between naps when everything he is doing says he is tired now! And when I had trained myself to respond immediately to those tired cues!
It is so easy to slip back to a place where they are relying on us to sleep and so tricky to fix it.. Good luck!

 

Thanks everyone. This is really helpful. We are slowly chipping away at things and they are improving. Today he had two 1.5 hour naps. Sleeping better at night is helping too which is good. I am going to ensure he doesn't sleep too long in the morning but also extend his awake window between naps. Thanks for your help!