My husband puts them in awful clothes!

This is just a small rant. I know there's nothing to be done, but I have to tell someone so that I don't freak out at DH. He's in charge of getting the girls up and to school every morning. He does a great job, but I wish that he would put them in better clothes. Today Piper walked out of the house wearing turquoise leggings with lace on the bottom and a yellow long sleeve t-shirt with a navy and green picture of a backhoe. Cricket had pink leggings and a thin green and white striped hoodie. Nothing matches! Nothing even coordinates. I don't want the girls dressed alike, but it sure would be nice if each of them had on pants that matched their shirts. DH will also put just about anything on them - so some days I'll pick them up from school and see that they're wearing the super ugly hand me down shirts I save for painting.

This isn't a case of DH being color blind or anything; he's a fantastic dresser himself. He just feels that preschoolers don't have to match. Sigh. I know this isn't a big deal. I just wish my girls looked as adorable as the other kids in their class some days.

 

My Dh is also in charge of getting the girls dressed and to the sitter's house. But I'm a control freak and lay out their clothes before I leave for work ardon:

 

Yeah, that would bother me too! You aren't being unappreciative of your DH, you're just annoyed at the fact that he doesn't dress them so they match! Who wouldn't be?

Is there anyway you could pick out a few outfits and lay them out the night before? Or can you hang shirts and matching pants/shorts/skirts together on 1 hanger? That way when he grabs a shirt out, the matching bottoms are already attached?

 

I was going to suggest the same thing. Just lay out the shirts and pants you'd prefer the night before or put them in a specific spot in their closet labeled today's clothing choices. That way, your DH might see the kind of clothes you prefer, and it'll be easy for him to put together better looking clothes. It might even get to the point where he can start picking out clothes without your help, but at least you'll feel better about the clothes they are wearing. It does matter. It matters to you and your girls go to school representing the clothes they'd wear at home. If you prefer they wear something nicer, then pick out the clothes before hand and DH should use the clothes you picked out instead of whatever he grabs first. Talk with him about it. Don't feel embarrassed if it means more to you than to him. I'd be doing the same to my DH if he chose some odd arrangement of my boys' clothes too.

 

Yeah, I wish I could do that. I've tried making suggestions but he tells me I'm being a control freak. If I put out outfits or hung up matching things, he'd just break the outfits and pick what he wanted anyways. I guess I just have to let this go...

 

Sounds like he's just being stubborn! LOL :laughing:

I'm sorry, I don't know what else you can do but sneak clothes into their backpacks and tell them to change their clothes once they get to school (just joking....mostly, anyway!). :lol:

That would drive me nuts, too. But you are right, if it is that huge of an issue with him to do it his way and if he feels like you are being a control freak when you try to "help" - you are probably just going to have to let it go.

Note to self: Buy lots of neutral bottoms for the next season so that all of the shirts match whatever pants/shorts/skirts he picks out!

Good luck! :hug:

 

Maybe ask him why this means so much to him? Why does him picking out the clothes mean so much to him that if you try to pick out clothes he thinks you are a control freak and won't do it anyhow? True there are battles to pick and this isn't a big one, but picking the right battles works both ways. Why not find a compromise to make both of you happy.

But, yes, in the end, it's not a big deal and you can be the one to let it go. It does sound like he's being stubborn and he's picking this as a battle. Sounds like he wants to control this decision and feels like it's his choice since he's the one bringing them to school. So, if neither of you can find a compromise, then I guess just let it go. Maybe he just likes his world so colorful, he chooses outfits to match his point of view.

 

I can understand being frustrated because he's not doing it the way you want him to, but this is such a minor thing. I, too, would like it if my kids' clothes matched (I mean, if each girl's shirt matched her own pants!), but I gave up that battle long ago.

Anyway, I sort of have to take your DH's side on this. If it's his job to get them to school, and they are getting there on time, safely, and with everything they need, then let go of whether they match. Think of it as mental energy you can save for something else. I'm happy whenever DH takes complete responsibility for some part of their routine so I don't have to think about it!

FWIW, this morning Sarah is wearing a blue sundress with big yellow flowers and a big bow in the back, red-and-white striped leggings, rainbow socks with fish on them (her favorite socks) and pink patent leather T-strap shoes. Oh, and a pink zip-front hoodie over it. :laughing:

 

My DH does the same thing, however, he does not have much a fashion sense himself. He usually wears a uniform to work and wears jeans or khakis when not at work, so he does not have to coordinate much. DS usually doesn't look bad but when he dresses DD, she usually looks like Punky Brewster.
If he is just going to dress them the way he wants to, let him, there is going to come a time where they will want to pick out their own clothes anyway and he can have the fashion battle with them and not you :laughing: I know it's frustrating because some times I look at DD when he dresses her and just shake my head.

 

Why doesn't he ask the girls what they want to wear? At least then it wouldn't be him not-matching.

 

I understand this frustration! I recently picked up kids that were wearing coordinating t-shirts but with shorts that didn't match whatsoever! DD had on her pink Tye-dyed t-shirt with shorts that were blue, black, yellow, purple and white stripes. DS had on his blue Tye-dyed t-shirts with blue (different shade of blue, mind you!) plaid shorts!

He still sees nothing wrong with it! He honestly thought it matched because they both had blue. And in DD's case, there were so many colors it didn't matter.
He still doesn't believe that some patterns just don't go together! :lol:

 

I always lay clothes out the night before for DH to dress them in if he is in charge the next day. He knows he is horrible at picking out clothes so he is thankful I help him...lol..One less thing for him to worry about doing in the morning!

Edit: Oh I just read the other replies that you DH doesn't like that! Oh well - sorry

 

This is really funny. I put out clothes for my older boys but my husband handles the girls and always manages to put something on that doesn't match, is too short, too big/long so pants literally fall down, etc. I walked in one time and my almost 3 year old had her pants around her knees because they kept falling down- and they'd been on all day! Same thing with the boys- which is why i put the clothes out. How can you not notice that pants are 4 inches too short when they have a closetful of pants that actually fit??

 

This is what I was thinking, you need to get the girls on your side! :lol: First you get them to start picking out their own clothes (perhaps the night before), then you teach them what matches and what doesn't. Problem solved!

Of course if your DH really doesn't want to budge on this then, yes, you will just have to let it go. Have you tried having a discussion with him about it and explaining that, while you understand it doesn't matter what preschoolers dress like, it matters to you how your girls are presented? He might have more of a reason than you know. Perhaps he feels that this is an age where they can be totally unconcerned with how they look and wants them to enjoy that innocence while they can?

 

This is what I've always done. My dh sounds so much like yours! I swear he dresses them in mismatched clothes (or clothes that don't even fit) just to annoy me! :lol: I always encouraged the girls as soon as possible to pick out their own clothes. They are much better at it than he is & he is very unlikely to tell them no. Of course, the older girls are way beyond the age of anyone picking out their clothes now, but I've encouraged Lila to speak up & tell him what she wants to wear on the odd occasion that he's dressing them.

 

My kids pick out their own clothes (and have since about age 2.5), and let me tell you, at least in our house, that is NOT a solution to the not-matching problem. :laughing: They have very non-traditional ideas of what constitutes "matching" -- Sarah thinks things with stripes match each other by definition, and Amy thinks that anything with pink or purple matches.

Plus, Sarah is into multiple layers right now (a couple of weeks ago she went through a phase of wearing capri pants with tights underneath them), preferably with a tie-dye T-shirt on top, and a flowered sundress on top of that.

 

I feel lucky if DH changes the girls out of their pajamas, which he usually doesn't. Although my girls do not attend daycare or preschool yet, I know I will have to put out clothes for him if I expect him to even change their clothes. Don't even mention actually brushing and fixing their hair...

Why don't you try setting out clothes and give him the choice of picking yours or his own. Maybe he'll find it easier to dress them in what you after all.

 

I moved some UGLY sweatpants to a section of the closet with too-large-clothes that we don't use and I swear it was only one day later that I came home to see the boys wearing the same pants that I had tried to hide. :headbang:

Sometimes when I'm out in public and the kids aren't dressed well I'll say rather loudly to them "My goodness look at what your father dressed you in today!" I get instant smiles from sympathetic strangers :laughing:

 

that is QUITE the mental picture!! LOL

 

My DH is in charge of getting them up and dressed in the morning too, but I always sit out two outfits for them to wear. Otherwise there'd be some mis-matching going on.

 

My DH also gets the girls dressed in the mornings. Luckily, he has learned most of the matching outfits. Otherwise, he just grabs some jeans because he knows pretty much anything will match those. There are some mornings when we're behind on laundry that I have to help find clothes though...

 

Seems to be a trend... my DH can't dress them to save his life. He doesn't do so well on himself, either

I wouldn't feel bad that it bothers you. You see the other kids looking so cute and know yours could look so much cuter if they were dressed right! I feel that way every time my DH dresses them! I also always lay out their clothes, but there have been many embarrassing moments when my DH has dressed them for whatever reason. And to really nitpick, my DH puts them in mismatched pj's, which drives me crazy!! Then the outfits or pj sets are split up and 1/2 is in the laundry, 1/2 in the drawer. Makes me crazy... I have a friend who's daughter dresses herself in outrageous outfits, starting around age 2, and they let her run with it. That's cute. The dad doing it, not so much!

I agree with whoever said to get very neutral pants/skirts/shorts so that anything matches. I'd also have a section of the closet or a drawer for "school clothes" that are mix and match and let him pick from that only. Give him a reason why that does not relate to fashion... they're the comfortable clothes, ok to get paint on, whatever... then the cute matching outfits can be kept somewhere else for you to dress them in when you're calling the shots!

 

I can't help too much. I have boys and we do have almost all neutral bottoms of either khaki or denim. DH will still get the one pair of maroon shorts and put them with a shirt that doesn't match. He's not in charge of clothes every morning though so I let it slide (and only every once in awhile try to quietly convice a child to ask to wear something else). I do also try to hide the stuff I really hate at the bottom of the pile in the drawer or in the back of the closet. There is one set of hideous camo (not plain green camo, ugly poop brown camo) shorts that he still finds every time. I would send it to goodwill, but for some reason DH likes that outfit and he does know which shirts came with the shorts.

That said, the boys have begun to pick out their clothes themselves and Mason is fascinated with two pair of turquoise Mickey Mouse socks my mom bought them. He wears them twice a week every week no matter what clothes he's wearing and there is absolutely nothing else in their closet that is turquoise The part I hate is that once his shoes are on you can't even see Mickey Mouse. He also wanted to wear his space shuttle shirt backwards so he could see the space shuttle on his tummy and I let him.

Sorry, it would be difficult to deal with daily.

 

Gosh, I was reading this post thinking how lucky all of you are that you get to pick out your kids clothes still! My DD has been picking out what she wants to wear for about 6months now (she is 28months)!! And, DS has recently gotten into this habit, so I just let them look at what is in the drawer and pick.

Now, I have done a few things to make things easier - I will remove anything ugly, old, or that I dont want them to wear (it goes up high on the shelf - where they cant see it). And the kids know colours now, so I try and show them to pick out outfits that have the same colour. Then I make SUCH A BIG DEAL out of how cute they look when they wear a good outfit - they love how excited I get and twirl around in front of the mirror to show off. But, honestly, many days the kids just wear mismatched outfits and I let it slide, because I figure they are just showing their independence, and if I have NO tantrums and kids in mismatched clothes, thats ok by me!

 

I'd let it go. At this age, people will presume they've dressed themselves (and maybe he is letting them help choose?) If it fits and is weather-appropriate, then fine.

My husband likes to give them clothes they've outgrown from the bin on the top shelf where I've tossed them to await a Goodwill trip. He says he does this because "they still fit". They came out in shorts and long-sleeved shirts one day -- size 12M. I told him that the width being OK doesn't mean the shirt fits; if their navel is showing, it's too small! And, while they might fit in the waist, short-shorts haven't been worn by guys since the 1970's and I would not take them out in public like that. I asked why he goes to so much trouble to put them in rags when there is nice clothing that fits well right in front of him. Apparently, it's for the same reason he can't part with a few things he's had for decades and still wears even though they're out of style and threadbare: misplaced sentimentality. So, I empty the bin more often now.

 

I had the same problem just this morning, but it was Amy (not DH) who wanted something from the bin. Just the other day I cleared out a bunch of long-sleeved shirts that would be too small in the fall, and sure enough, today she was like, "Where's that pink shirt????" So I had to get the hand-me-down bag out of the closet and root through it until I found the shirt. Goodness knows when I'll manage to pry that (size 2T) shirt away from her again.

But I distinctly remember my mother forbidding me to wear a certain beloved sweatshirt once I'd grown so much that the sleeves barely reached past my elbows -- so I guess Amy comes by it naturally.

 

My girls pick out their own clothes, so matching has gone out the window. Although, if it's totally hideous or just not appropriate (like, a skirt with a tiered swing top - meant to go with leggings, she looked like a Christmas tree), I will voice and objection and steer them towards something that matches. I've laid down a couple matching "rules", and it's helped - only one pattern, top or bottom. Pick a color in the pattern and then choose a corresponding shirt or bottom with that color in it. Jeans go with anything. Sometimes though, they still pick some real special outfits and it's just not worth the fight. They are getting better and aren't quite as stubborn as they were maybe a year ago.

I guess I would stick with choosing fairly neutral clothes if DH is the one dressing them. Perhaps move the non-every day clothes to another location, both painting/muddy clothes and dress clothes. My DH doesn't understand what styles go together for kids. Like, don't put leggings with regular shirt, they need to go with a swing top or dress. He put Caleb in swim trunks one time because they matched the shirt (not really, but why the swim trunks?).

ETA - Socks are the least of my concern, I don't even notice the rainbow stripe socks with flowered pants anymore.

 

My friends give me a hard time about this, but I started hanging outfits together in the closet. I think you can get hangers at target or walmart that are kid size, but they have little clips on them for pants. So I put the shirt & pants or whatever together in the closet. My dh is the same; he put ds in an outfit once that was Hawaiian shorts & Hawaiian shirt - different patterns. He just shrugged & said "what??" So now he doesn't have to worry about putting outfits together - it's already done.

Also, on school nights we pick clothes out the night before. I usually grab 2 outfits per kid & let them pick between the 2....it's saved us a lot of headache, since dd always wants to pick her own clothes. So if dh does help out in the morning (though he usually doesn't), everything is usually laid out & ready for him.

 

Pictures, ladies, pictures. I need to see pictures of the creative outfits!!!!!

 

I can be empathetic, I don't know what I would do. I am total control freak and iron and lay out all my kids clothes the night before. But as soon as my girls get home from where ever they were they strip off the clothes and manage to find there own outfits which are always good for a laugh.

 

I feel your pain! My girls don't go to day care yet, but when DH dresses them, its horrific. I've actually went back and changed them after he already had them dressed. Yes, I'm a control freak about their clothes. I do let the girls pick out their own shirts, but then I pick out matching bottoms. That way they get to wear the shirt they want, but they still match at the same time. So now when DH is getting them dressed, I go in and lay out their clothes. DH is fine with it because its less stress for him.

 

I'm realizing the same thing about the clothes sometimes! (I didn't read all the posts, but wanted to comment).

I am realizing I probaby need to put the "old handme down" clothes in a separate area ... so that we use those when we play at home or do dirty painting etc.

good luck with the clothes!

 

My mom and DH did something similar once. Jo was about 4 months old and Annie was 2 1/2. We were camping, and I came in from the campfire to find that they had dressed the baby in Annie's 2T sleeper. How they didn't notice 6 extra inches in all the sleeves and legs is beyond me!

At 4,5, and 7 my girl all pick their own clothes. Elle picks out the most awful combination, but she's taking care of herself so I don't really care. One less thing for me to do in the morning. Outfits that are part of a matched set I do hang in the closet on the same hanger, but all the separates are fair game for her matching!

 

I start her in a cute outfit, and 20 minutes later she spits down her front, and so then she gets a new top but keeps the bottoms...

 

What about GARANIMALS?!? Gymboree and such have all coordinating clothes. Sure, they'd look the same every day, but at least they'd match!!!